Touching Scars (32 page)

“When did you first really see me?”

I was all too happy to give our conversation a slight push in another direction. “That day on the field when I stuck around in the parking lot. I got my first taste of my feisty girl.” I smiled at her and she bit her lip to suppress her own smile. “You were so sure of yourself when I approached you. You had your head held high and you were so confident telling me that I was being a big chicken shit with my supposed friends. You weren’t scared to lay it on me and tell me how it was. Nobody had spoken to me like that before. And yet this tiny little girl came and plowed me over.” I chuckled and shook my head. “I think you had me even then, Kat. I just think we are meant for each other
now
, when we are both at our lowest. Plus, I think you might have rejected me if I asked you out back then.” I added that last bit to poke fun at her. She laughed, picking up on my teasing. “There it is.” My fingers caressed her cheek. “There’s my smile. See? Not ruined.”

As her smile faded, she still stared at me as though she could see into me. “I love you, Timber.”

I pressed my lips to her forehead. “I love you too. Now close your eyes and get some sleep.” She settled into me and I felt her fall into easy slow breathes.

 I’d kept my eyes open for some time, thinking about my conversation with Beaver. Adam had left town. I was sure of that. But what I didn’t like was that he was still alive and able to come back here if he was feeling brave. For his own sake and livelihood, he’d better stay away.

A
FTER
THAT
NIGHT
WHEN
K
AT
finally let me in her bed, things started to really turn to normal. Well, with the exception that I never let her out of my sight. I’d not gone back to work, and Slim and Roger were perfectly okay with that. After they’d found out about Adam, Roger had gone on a rampage to find out where Adam was, but the bastard had seemed to drop off the grid. Plus, if anybody was going to be getting their hands on that piece of shit, it was going to be me. They’d both mentioned quitting their jobs, but I convinced them to stay. They had nothing else to fall back on, and rumor had it that A&S Emissions was putting the field up for sale.

For the most part, we were back to our usual selves. Another two weeks had passed and I was spending every single night in the bar, taking my place on my usual stool, and bullshitting around with the customers. I’d grown fond of several of the regulars, and they seemed to be growing accustomed to seeing me around. One of them was a seventy-eight year old man who smoked like a stack house and was a total pool shark. I found out later that he was Ed’s older brother. There was a night, not long ago, that I challenged him to a game of pool. That creaking, coughing, rickety old man wiped the floor with me that first game. I don’t think I even got to shoot any of the balls besides making the first break. Every evening after that, I played him a game or two. Kat would look on with so much love in her eyes, it only made me sink further into her.

She was doing everything she could to act like nothing was bothering her. It didn’t go unnoticed, though, that every time someone came in, her eyes would dart up in slight panic. Or when she needed to go to the bathroom, she’d ask me if I would go check it out. I’d stand outside the door until she was done.
There were little things here and there that were going to take more time for her to settle back into. Unfortunately, the fact that Adam was out there somewhere didn’t help her in the least.

I was watching her from the pool table, enjoying seeing her laugh and smile at those around her. She really was loved and cared for around here. I was finding my own place in this little town, too. For once, I felt like I had found my place in this world.

Kat was having a conversation with Mel, no doubt about Beaver and whatever new sexcapades they’d been experimenting with. Kat’s cheeks were bright red and she was covering her mouth, trying to stifle her laugh, when someone next to me threw a beer bottle at the wall. It shattered into a million pieces and shouting started up right next to me. I watched as two men exchanged some pretty heated words. Beaver came into my line of sight and tried to break them up. I thought about stepping in and giving him a hand, but thought better of it when I turned to look at Kat to make sure she was okay. She wasn’t standing behind the bar where I’d last seen her, nor was she coming around it on her way over to where I was. The flick of her dark, red streaked hair caught my eye just as she disappeared down the hall. Shit.

I started towards where she went, picking up my pace as my heart started beating quickly in my chest. Beaver and Mel were too distracted to notice me running towards the back, so I was on my own. As I turned the corner, Kat wasn’t standing there or leaning against the wall. Growing more concerned, I figured I might find her in the cooler, so I went further back. I heard a crashing sound come from the women’s bathroom.

“Fuck, Kat!” I yelled, coming back to a stop in front of the door. I turned the handle and it wouldn’t give. I heard her sobbing on the other side and I felt the fear taking hold of me. Turning to my side, I threw my shoulder into the wood, attempting to break through. It didn’t take much and the cheap wood shards splintered all over the floor.

My first thought before I forced my way inside was please don’t let me see the same scene I’d seen a month ago. Nearly falling from my forward momentum, I stopped myself with a hand up on the wall
.
What I saw standing there wasn’t what I was expecting at all. Kat was holding the side of her hand, staring at what used to be the mirror.

My breathing was still erratic, but I slowly approached her. “Baby, what happened?”

She wouldn’t look at me. Her chest was heaving up and down, and I heard a small sob escape her throat. “When will it be the same again? When will I not jump when something startles me?”

I placed my hand on her head and stroked it down her wavy hair. She jerked away from me as I rested it on her lower back. “Don’t!” she turned to shout at me. “Don’t touch me.” Her tears were falling fast and her eyes were red. “This isn’t normal, Timber.
I’m
not normal.”

I sighed, letting my hand drop. “You’ve just been through something horrible, Kat. You’ve got to give it time.”

“How much time, huh? How much time do I need to realize I’m never going to be the same again? When I heard that bottle break, my first thought was,
Adam‘s back
. I ran. I ran because all I could do is run.”

I glared. Not at her, but at the mention of his name. “He’s not going to come back.”

She laughed a laugh that made me feel like I was an idiot. “He’s going to come back, Timber. Wake the fuck up! He will keep his promise and not stop until he has me however he wants me.” Her hand flew up to her mouth. She was starting to gag. Her arm was now streaked with blood from when she broke the mirror. I was going to need to get a grip on this so I could take care of her hand. “I’m going to be watching my back for the rest of my life. This is no way to live.”

Oh no. No, no, no, she wasn’t giving up. Not when I just found her, and not when things were settling back down. “He’s not going to come back here, Kat. The condition I put him in… he knows it’s his death sentence if he steps foot back in this town. Everybody is watching and making sure he doesn’t show his face. But baby, you need to come here so I can fix your hand.”

She looked down as if seeing it for the first time. “It’s fine.” She shrugged me off. “Just superficial cuts, they’ll heal. But I won’t.” She whispered the last sentence.

“No more of this.” I stepped into her, taking hold of her despite knowing she didn’t want me close. When I wrapped my hand around her arm, she tried to push me away. I pulled her closer and she managed to wiggle free. The hand that wasn’t hurt came up to my face, about to slap me, but I was quicker and took hold of her wrist. “Don’t fight me, Kat. You’re angry, and I understand that, but this doesn’t help anybody. Let me look at your hand.”

“Fuck off!” she yelled at me.

I moved too fast for her to see what I was doing, but before she knew it, I had her pinned to the wall, her arms across her chest. She was completely immobile. I knew I was being an asshole for placing her in the same position Adam had her in before, but if she wasn’t going to let me help her, I was going to force her to.

“I’m not going to fuck off, Kat. Do you see this? Huh?” Now I was the one raising my voice at her. “You’re fighting me. Why is that? You know what, I’ll tell you why. It’s because you’re still in there. The girl that is a total pain in my ass, that I love with every breath that I take, is still in there fighting. You were scared when Adam hurt you. Anybody would have been. It’s time to stop letting him have the power. You are stronger than that. You are stronger than
him
.” We were both breathing hard. “Now would you please shut up and let me see your goddamn hand!”

Her wet eyelashes fluttered shut and she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself. When she opened them again, her beautiful brownish green gaze stared back at me. She sucked in her lower lip and chewed on it as she lifted her arm and placed her hand gently on my face. She was right, they were just superficial cuts. Nothing that she’d need stitches for. I released her from my hold and walked her over to the sink and made her sit down on the toilet. Squatting down in front of her, I inspected every inch of her hand, making sure I got all the little pieces of glass out before I held her hand under the tap water.

“You’re going to need some band aids on two of these, but your hand is going to be fine.” I looked up at her, brushing her hair from her face. “How about my girl, is she going to be okay?”

She tilted her face into my palm, making me cup her cheek. “Eventually.” She closed her eyes and let my touch soothe her. We stayed like that for a few minutes before she opened her eyes again and looked at the mess behind me. “You owe Ed a door.”

That made me chuckle. “I’ll get it fixed tomorrow. And I think we’ll need a new mirror.”

She looked over at that as well. “Yup, looks like.”

“Come on. Your shift is almost done, and I know there’s a first aid kit under the cash register. Let’s get you bandaged up.”

I kissed her forehead and she let me pull her up. I wrapped my arm around her and she settled into my side as we walked out of the bathroom.

Several more days had passed since we made a mess of Ed’s door and mirror. I did as I said I would and replaced everything the very next morning. I ended up getting new doors for both bathrooms. Something a little bit heavier. It made me feel better knowing that if someone else other than me tried to break through it, they’d have a harder time.

It was just past one in the morning on a Saturday night and Kat was wrapping up a long shift. Tonight the bar was full of town people. Someone was celebrating their birthday and everyone had shown up. Kat barely had time to slow down. I helped out a few times, stepping behind the bar and serving a few beers. She’d raised her eyebrow at me, questioning if I knew what I was doing. I rolled my eyes and ignored her. I might not be able to make any of those girly chick drinks, but I could damn well open a fucking beer bottle.

The last person wobbled out of the bar and Beaver and Mel asked if we needed them to stick around to help clean up. Those two had become inseparable, and frankly even I thought they were disgusting. I was happy they were both happy, but I think I’d seen Beaver walking around this place with a boner one too many times. They left, leaving just Kat and I.

I was scooping up empty bottles while she cleaned the table tops. “Busy night,” I said.

“Yeah, I’m dead on my feet. Seriously, I can’t wait to go take a shower and climb into bed.”

“I can’t wait for you to climb into bed too.” I waggled my eyebrows at her.

She gave a genuine laugh, and snapped her towel at me. “Pervert.”

When the bar was clean and stocked, I turned to go lock the front doors.