Tough Love (Hidden Secrets) (12 page)

“I
brought Nick to look at what we need to do to bring your house up to code.”

“Hey
Shannon. Good to see you’re okay. He practically dragged me out of his house this morning to get over here,” he says with a smirk.

“Oh,
um, sure. Jackson can you show him around right now. I’ll go get dressed.”

Turning,
I practically ran to my bedroom. My body was still buzzing from being wrapped in Jackson’s arms. I’ve made up my mind. I’ll go out on this date with Scott tonight, but then that’s it. My body buzzing from Jackson holding me is definitely a sign that I need not go out with anyone else. At least until I can get over Jackson.

If
only things were different…

Chapter Thirteen

Jackson

Mom was talking to me when I watched Shannon forcefully taking the boys to the car. My gut tightened. Something was wrong. Then to watch her scream at the sound of her phone and then snap at the boys, it cemented it more. Something was wrong. When I saw her slide down her car screaming ‘leave me alone’ and crying, my feet were running and my only thought was getting to her. She pulled out before I could reach her.

“Something’s
wrong,” I said to Jake, who walked up next to me.

“Definitely.”

I ran to my car and jumped in. Once Jake got in, I hurried to her house, but she wouldn’t answer the door. Either that or she couldn’t answer the door. My gut tightened even more. When I got back to the car, Jake started in on me.

“I
can’t believe you’re going to sit back and let Scott take out the woman you love. Or so you say you do anyway.”

“What
the hell is that supposed to mean?” I hissed as I drove back to my house.

“It
means that if you
really
loved her, you’d do everything you could to be with her. Instead, here you sit doing everything to push her away. Which is shocking considering the fact that I think she might love you too.”

“I
can’t be with her.” I said sadly.

“Why
the hell not!” He yelled.

“You
wouldn’t understand.”

“No,
of course not, because you won’t fucking talk to me about it!” Jake yelled.

Slamming
on the breaks, I flipped the car around to head back the way we came. My foot pressed harder on the gas and the car pushed forward. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jake getting nervous. He wanted to know why I can’t do this, why I can’t be with her. Well, he’ll know why.

After
about twenty minutes of driving, I whipped through a gate and a few minutes later came to a skidding stop, gravel and dust kicking up in the action. Turning to a pale Jake, “Get out and follow me.”

With
that, I got out of the car and began walking in the direction that will answer his questions. In the direction that will explain to him why I can’t be happy ever again. In the direction that will show him why no matter how much I love Shannon, I can’t be with her. I could hear Jake following behind me. After a few minutes, I came to a stop. I turned around and faced my brother.

“That
is the reason I can’t be with her,” I pointed, my voice breaking.

“Jack…
God…” he looks up at me with tears in his eyes.

“Don’t
fucking pity me. Just get off my back and understand why I can’t be with her no matter how much I want to be. I can’t do it, Jake.  I just can’t do it.”

“Maybe
you should tell her. Hell, I’m kind of hurt that you haven’t told me. I guess in a way still haven’t. I mean I know what I’m looking at but…”

My
shoulders dropping. “It’s not an easy subject to bring up. It’s not easy to talk about. So forgive me for not rushing in to talk about it.”

Jake
stepped forward, placing his hands on my shoulder. “But you don’t need to do it alone though. I’d walk through fire for you, for any of our siblings, so would any of them. We’d never judge or hurt. Think about it, okay? I’m your twin, Jack. I’m the one you should trust the most.”

Nodding
my head, we walk back to my car. Neither of us talking, a sadness hung over both of us. The thing about being a twin was you were in tune with each other. It was a big reason why I knew something was up with him. It was the big reason why he stays at my house when he’s in town. We went through a phase when we were younger that we hated each other and didn’t want to be friends anymore, but then Jake was taken to the hospital and he and I grew so much closer after that.

Pulling
into the garage, we climbed into the elevator, riding up to my floor.  Just as we were walking off and into my apartment, Jake turned to me.

“I’m
really sorry, brother. If you need to talk about it, when you need to talk about it, I’m here.”

“I
know. Thanks.”

We
each went to our rooms. I texted Shannon several times that night. She didn’t answer any of them. My chest tightened. I wanted to bust down the door to make sure she was okay. It wasn’t like it would be too hard. The door was really old and rotted to begin with.

By
the time morning rolled around, I was exhausted. I barely slept a wink. Pulling myself out of bed, I went straight to my coffee machine. Once I had a nice cup of coffee in my hands, I leaned against the counter taking a much needed drink. My buzzer goes off.

On
the video was Nick, I damn near forgot about that. My coffee forgotten, I ran dressed quickly and headed down. The elevator wasn’t moving fast enough. It was impossible to keep my nervousness under control.

The
elevator doors opened to a shocked and confused Nick. “What I’m not allowed up?”

“Nope,
not today. Come on, let’s hurry.”

“Someone’s
in a hurry.” Nick says following behind.

“Yeah,
I am. So quit taking your time and let’s go.”

Nick
laughs behind me, but thankfully he hurries with me. The drive to Shannon’s house set my nerves even more on edge. Nick kept looking over at me chuckling, but I didn’t care at this point. I need to make sure that Shannon was okay. It would really kill me if something happened to her.

By
the time she opened the door, relief flooded me. I didn’t think about anything other than making sure she was really okay. The minute she came into view, I pulled her into my arms. My heart was hammering in my chest. I pressed kiss after kiss on her head when really I wanted to claim her mouth and her heart forever.

“Damn,
Shannon. I was so fucking worried about you. Are you okay?”

Pulling
from my embrace, she says flatly, “I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

“I
brought Nick to look at what we need to do to bring your house up to code.” I was kind of hurt by her asking.

“Hey
Shannon. Good to see you’re okay. He practically dragged me out of his house this morning to get over here,” Nick says, smirking and I want to hit him.

“Oh,
um, sure. Jackson can you show him around right now. I’ll go get dressed.”

It
was then that I noticed that she was only in a pair of shorts that barely covered her ass and a tight tank top. As she ran away, a growl escaped me.

“What
the fuck is up with you man?” Nick asked.

“Yeah
as if you don’t know.”

“I
don’t. What was that all about?” He asks as we walk outside to start the estimation.

Sighing.
“I thought she was in trouble last night then she didn’t answer the door and it worried me even more. I had to get over here to make sure she was okay.”

“But
why man? I understand y’all are friends and you’re attached to the boys, but it just seems a little extreme.” He said crouching down by the base of the front windows.

“I
love her,” I say softly.

I
watch Nick tense up. “You what?”

Rolling
my eyes, “Please don’t make me say it again.” I ground out.

“Dude,
I’m sorry.” He said standing up.

“What?”
It wasn’t exactly the response I expected.

“I
didn’t know. I got a hold of Jake last night for Scott so he has her number and address. I had no idea that you had feelings for her. Man, I’m so sorry.”

Shaking
my head sadly, “Don’t worry about it. I can’t have her. She deserves to be happy. I’ll just love her from afar. It’s safer that way.”

Nick
looks at me confused. “Why is it safer?”

“Don’t
worry about it. It just is. So, I noticed the warped siding here.” I bent down showing him. I needed off the subject.

Nick
sighs and we start going around the house. When we got to the boys playroom they ran to me hugging me. If Scott and Shannon hit it off, I’d miss spending all the time with the guys. There was no way I could come around and watch him hold the woman I love, kiss her, sleep with her. Jealousy boiled hot and heavy in my stomach. Was I mad at Shannon for going? No. She doesn’t know I love her. I won’t tell her either.

The
time flies by as I walk around the house with Nick. It wasn’t until we had only one room left that I hesitated asking about. It was her parents’ room. Nick needs to see the complete damage because this room will need to be upgraded to. After some tears, she gives me the key and runs out of the room. I explained to Nick what the room was and his head hung sadly.

“I’ll
make it as quick as possible.”

We
were walking into the living room moments later. Shannon sat on the couch with her legs pulled up to her chest with her forehead resting on her knees. Sitting down next to her, I run my hand up and down her back. She leans into me resting her head on my shoulder. Taking a deep breath, I just soaked up the feeling of having her in my arms. When I caught sight of Nick out of the corner of my eyes and saw the sadness on his face, I knew it was for both of us. Each of us in love with women that we can’t have.

“Shannon,
can I talk to you about what I’ve found?”

She
nodded her head, but didn’t lift it up. I was grateful for that. It gave me a moment to reflect on. A moment where I can pretend she was mine.

“Okay.
All the windows need replaced. They are the old single pane windows. There is water damage below every single window, even the ones in your basement. This means that I’m going to have to take down all your drywall and hope that there isn’t mold behind there. Many of the joists in the floor need replaced. The front door and porch need redone. The electrical is seriously outdated and a major concern for me. The plumbing isn’t as far behind but still needs updated…”

He
kept going with his list of what he found wrong. However, his concern about the electrical had me on guard. If it was bad enough that my brother has mentioned it twice now, I don’t want them here.

“That
sounds like a lot of work. We can’t stay here can we?” Nick shook his head. “Doesn’t really matter. Thank you for telling me all this, but I can’t afford it.”

He
clears his throat and looks at me. I nod my head. “It’s already been paid in full. Plus I’d like to offer some suggestions to offer you some more room and make it less of a fire hazard. With everything closed off like this, it really is a hazard.”

She
sat up straight and coughed. “Already paid for!” She exclaimed. “How?”

Nick’s
eyes move in my direction and I slightly shake my head. He leans forward. “It’s confidential, but I can tell you that you have enough to do this safety plan that I strongly urge you do.”

I
cupped her face in my hand, turning her head toward me. “I already told you that you could stay at my place until it was finished. I have more than enough room.” When she started to protest. “I insist. We’ll get you all settled in tomorrow. I’ll even stay and help you pack up what you need tonight when you get back.”

Nick
left saying they’d start work on Monday. He told me he was sorry again for giving Scott her information, but he had no idea. Smiling sadly, it did hurt that she was going out, but since I can’t have her, I can’t hold her back from being happy. Scott had her laughing. From what I know of him, Scott was a good guy. He’d be good for her.  Damn, if only things were different and she could be mine.

“Hey?
Where’d you go? You looked really sad.”

“Huh?
Oh, just thinking,” I mumble.

“I’m
a good listener if you want to talk,” she says softly.

“Thanks
beautiful. Same goes for me, you know? I’m here if you need me.”

“You’re
the only one in this house that is talking to me right now,” she says sadly.

Wrapping
my arms around her, “What do you mean?”

“The
boys aren’t talking to me because of last night.”

“What
happened last night? I was so scared when you didn’t answer your door last night or my texts.”

She
pulls back and looks at me, “Why? I mean we’re
just
friends, right?” She practically hisses before standing up. “I’ve got to get ready. Scott will be here in an hour” She didn’t even look at me, just walked away.

It
was the way she said the friends that something clicked inside of me. Something was changing. Something big. No matter how much I reasoned, I couldn’t stop it.