Tracing Hearts (15 page)

***

We seat ourselves in the restaurant that lies just on the edge of a small wooded area. Avery’s Place is a very small diner which seats no more than thirty people, I’d say. The motif is historical baseball. I’m not that much into that sort of thing, but it looks like it would be heaven for someone who was. Our waitress comes by with our drinks and asks us for our order.

“I’ll have an egg white omelet with a side of wheat toast, butter on the side, please,” I say.

“Okay. And for you, sir?”

“Two eggs, over easy with turkey bacon, if you have it, and French toast. Hold the syrup.”

The waitress nods, finishes scribbling in her notepad, and tells us our order should be ready shortly. Then, she retreats back into the kitchen. I sit forward and add honey and lemon juice to the cup of hot water I ordered.

“What are you drinking?” he asks.

I look up.

“Oh, this?” I say, looking at my cup. “This is honey lemon water. I try to drink it every morning. It's good for the immune system. Ever since I started drinking it, I haven’t been sick at all.”

“No kidding. Not even a cold?”

“Nope. It started out being an experiment. I read about it on social media and thought it was simple enough to do, so I gave it a try. Since then, I’ve gotten several of my friends hooked on it.”

“Is it any good?”

“It’s very good. Would you like to try some? I mean, everyone’s taste is different. You might not like the amount of lemon or the amount of honey I added.”

“Sure,” he says.

I hand him the steaming mug and he takes a tentative sip.

“What do you think?”

“Hmm,” he says, handing it back to me. “It’s very lemony, almost overly so, but the honey cuts out some of the tartness. It’s actually not too bad. It’s sort of like what warm lemonade might taste like. I still prefer coffee though.”

I smile and nod but suddenly, there’s an uncomfortable silence. It’s as if neither of us knows what to say to the other. I’m wracking my brain for something—anything to say.

“So. You moved to North Carolina. Mind if I ask why?” he asks.

I sneer. “Stupidity on my part,” I say.

“You don’t like it here?”

“Oh, no. I love it here now. But, I wasn’t so crazy about the idea of moving so far away from my dad and sister.”

“So, then, why’d you do it?”

I sigh and take a drink.

“I followed someone here,” I say, not really wanting to elaborate.

“What do you mean?” What an uncomfortable question. I’m not sure how to explain my level of naivety to a man who is obviously very well put together. I fidget with my napkin. “If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll understand,” he adds.

“No, it’s fine.” I say. “I had a boyfriend who was offered a job transfer. We weren’t living together or anything, and at the time, our relationship was rocky. I was unsure if moving was a good idea. But, after begging me over and over again, he finally convinced me that if I followed him here, his job would support both of us, and I could try to pursue something new. So, I agreed, and that next month, I packed up all my belongings, said goodbye to my family, and left with him.”

“Let me guess, it didn’t work out the way you thought it would.”

I snort.

“Not at all. I ended up having to get a job as a waitress to make ends meet because he had a gambling problem. I’d never lived with him before this happened and had no idea he was addicted to it. I was so angry with him and eventually got my own place and a better paying job.”

“And, that’s when you two broke up?”

“I wish. No, my optimistic nature believed he’d change after he started attending Gamblers Anonymous meetings. Don't get me wrong, he was better for a while.”

“Until…”

“Until he met a fellow GA member and decided to cheat on me.”

“Oh, jeez.” His eyebrows shoot up.

“Yeah. I found them playing cards at his place.”

“Cards?”

“Strip poker. When I found them, she was about to take off her last article of clothing, her panties.”

“Oh, my God. What did you do?”

“After she left in a hurry, I screamed at him for a while. But then, Cameron begged me not to break up with him. He said he hadn’t planned on it going any further. After a while, I believed him.”

“Wait…Cameron? As in, the one I almost got into it with at your mom’s funeral?”

I nod subtly.

“The one and only. To make a long story short, I caught him red handed two more times and swore I was done, even though he still thinks we’ll eventually get back together.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”

I shrug.

“I learned a lot from my time with him,” I say, matter of factly.

Our breakfast arrives, halting our conversation, and we dig in. The omelet is tasteless, and the toast is burnt. I eat what I can and watch as Sebastian picks at his too.

“How’s your breakfast?” he asks.

I wrinkle my nose. “It’s okay. How about yours?”

“It’s awful,” he says with a returning grimace.

I laugh.

“Yeah, I think the reason this diner is so far away from civilization is because someone is trying to hide it from the unsuspecting public.”

He laughs and agrees.

“Sorry. Next time, we’ll go to a place not so far out.”

“It’s fine, really,” I say.

“So, you said earlier that you wanted to try something new when you got here. What were you thinking about doing?”

“Well, I love to write. I’ve been writing most of my life. I didn’t realize I was actually good at it, until a paper I was writing in college got lost. The English professor, who found it, told me it was fantastic and that I should think about being a journalist. I’d never thought of making a career of it, and the thought of writing for a newspaper didn’t really appeal.”

“Well, you’ve had a lot of practice writing to me for all those years,” he says fondly.

“Yeah,” I say, remembering all the times I sat on my bed or at my desk, trying to compose the perfect letter to him. Then, I’d wait very impatiently for a letter of
his
to come back to me. “That was fun.”

“What do you like to write?”

“Anything, really. But, mostly fiction. It’s fun creating characters and telling their stories. My journals are mostly filled with short stories.”

“Well, I think you should go after that dream, if that’s what you want to do.”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I don't think I’d ever publish anything I’ve written.”

“Never say never.”

The waitress comes by with the check. We finish our drinks, and decide to hit the road again.

“Where are we off to now?” I ask while getting into the car.

“I thought we’d scout out another motel for later tonight, then I’m not sure.” He looks as me quizzically. “Why? Do you have something in mind?”

I shrug.

“Not really. I’m not sure how hidden we need to stay, but I was thinking…” I stop to consider our situation.

“You were thinking what?”

“Well, it’s such a nice day, and there’s a nature preserve nearby. It’s very secluded. We could just stroll through and…talk.”

He rubs his chin while contemplating my words. Then, he looks over at me.

“Sure. That sounds like a good idea.”

Julia

After calling Peter and telling him which motel we’ll be in later tonight, Sebastian drives into the park. The long road that leads to the parking area winds through acres of moss covered trees, as the sun breaks through the leafy tops. I love this place. It’s so quiet here, and it allows me to think more clearly. When I need time to get away, this is where I find myself. I lean my head against the headrest and gaze out the window. My hair is blown backward as I inhale the warm, humid air.

“Are you still with me?” Sebastian says.

“Hmm,” I reply.

I hear him chuckle slightly.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking about what’s going to happen on Monday, when I don’t show up for work.”

“Well, hopefully, Mick will’ve taken care of things by then, and it won’t be a problem.”

I look over at him. “Mick?”

“He’s my contact in the program. I called him this morning to tell him the…um…latest developments.”

“You mean me. You told him about me.”

“Yes.”

“And?”

He sighs.

“And he’s working on relocating both of us.”

“Relocating us where?” I’m alarmed.

“I’m not sure yet, but it’ll be somewhere safe, I promise.”

I sag into the back of the seat. This just became real. Am I going to have to move far? What’s going to happen to my apartment and job? How long will we be hiding? My breathing pattern speeds up a bit as all manner of thoughts roll around in my head. Sebastian notices and takes my hand.

“Hey,” he says softly to get my attention. I look at him, wide eyed. “It’s going to be fine, you’ll see. It’s temporary, remember?”

“Temporary,” I repeat, hoping to convince myself.

“Yeah, just until after the trial. Then, everything can go back to relatively normal.” He smiles sincerely.

“When is the trial?” I ask.

“It’s in about a month.”

I nod silently. One month. That doesn’t sound too bad.

He backs the car into a space and turns off the engine. Pivoting slightly, he turns to look at me.

“I’m sorry I got you into this, but for what it’s worth, I’m so happy to see you again. You look as beautiful as I remember from six years ago. I meant to tell you that yesterday.”

I grin broadly and feel my face flush.

“Yeah, it’s pretty great to see you again too, especially now that you’ve come back from the dead,” I giggle, then make a face of mock horror.

His wide smile shows off his perfectly straight teeth.

“Not too many people can accomplish that feat,” he says, chuckling slightly.

“Or come away from it looking as good as you do.”

With a seemingly permanent smile, he blows out a puff of air, shakes his head is disagreement, then grabs for his door handle. “Come on, let’s go.”

We start out on the paved pathway. The emerald colored, everglade-like setting comes to life as the warm breeze winds around every leaf. The trees sway happily, and the sounds of the nature preserve soothe what little anxiety I have left. It’s as though the local wildlife is singing a song just for us. I take in a calming breath. Sebastian walks next to me in relative silence. I look at him, and he at me.

“What?” he says.

“Nothing,” I reply.

“A dollar for your thoughts.”

I smile. “I thought it was a penny for your thoughts.”

“Well, you know, inflation and all. Besides, I’m willing to bet your thoughts are worth way more than a penny.”

“Not likely,” I snort as I continue our walk.

“So tell me, what’ve you been up to in the last six years?” His face tells me he’s genuinely interested.

“Oh, God. I don’t know. Some of everything, a lot of nothing. You know the usual.”

“No, I don’t know. Remember me? Military brat? I didn’t exactly grow up in a normal place.”

“Okay. Fair enough. What do you want to know?”

“I know that you went to college and that you moved to North Carolina, but what I really want to know is the little stuff in between all the major events.”

“Like what?” I ask.

“Like, what’s your favorite place to go have coffee, or how did you get the job you have now? Who’s your best friend and how did you meet? What do you like to do on your days off? Have you gone anywhere on vacation?”

“You sure are full of mundane questions,” I laugh.

“They’re not mundane to me,” he says. My mouth twists with skepticism. “Don’t you see? For the first six years we’ve known each other, you always kept me apprised of your life through your letters. I’ve missed knowing what’s been going on with you. Please. Tell me everything. I’ve been dying to know.” His voice is impassioned. It takes me by surprise.

“Um…okay,” I begin. “Well, let’s see. My best friend, since I moved here, is Jessica Roberts. She and I met at the job we both work at.” Suddenly, I remember our date for last night. “Oh no! I forgot about Jess! I was supposed to meet her for a girl’s night out,” I say, frustrated with myself. “She’ll think I stood her up.” I shake my head, regretfully. “She’s going to kill me.” I cover my face with both hands. I feel Sebastian’s gentle touch on my shoulder in consolation. The sensation sends a chill down my arm.

“I’m sorry, though it’s probably better that way. It’ll look like you disappeared for real.” I look up, and his expression is somber. He shoves both hands in his pockets and kicks a stone in his path. I can tell he’s upset with himself.

I laugh, and he looks perplexed.

“Well, it’ll sure be quite a story to tell after everything is over,” I say, trying to make light of this screwed up situation. He looks at me, bewildered.

“You’re not upset,” he says, and it’s more of a statement than a question.

“I wouldn’t go that far. Let’s just say we’ll make the best of what we have to work with.”

He stops walking and gapes at me.

“You’re amazing. You know that, right?”

“Yes, I know. It’s a curse really,” I say with my nose in the air, while flinging my hair behind me in an exaggerated manner.

His face dons a huge grin, and we snicker, as we resume walking.

“So, tell me about Cameron,” he says, which surprises me.

“What about him?”

“The two of you were together a long time. Would you take him back? Do you think he’d change?”

What?

“Um, no,” I say adamantly. “I don’t think he
wants
to change, and I’ll never take him back. I’ve given him too many chances, and he’s screwed up every one of them.”

“But, surely, you loved him at one time.” He pauses and seems suddenly uncomfortable. “Do you still? Love him, I mean?”

Now, I’m the uncomfortable one as I fiddle with a leaf I picked up. I’m not sure why, but I’m reluctant to reveal my feelings for Cameron.

“Yeah, I mean, of course I loved him. I wouldn’t have followed him here if I didn’t.” I dodge the rest of the question. “Sebastian, why do you want to know?” I’m hoping the answer goes something like: ‘
I want to know because I need you in my life. I’m going to make you forget all the vile things Cameron did to you, and show you how a real man treats a woman’…
but I’m not going to hold onto any delusions.