Tracing Hearts (32 page)

Sebastian

“Did you feel that?” I ask.

“Feel what?” Ford asks, perplexed.

“I don’t know, it felt sort of like an earthquake or something.”

“In Florida?” He shakes his head. “I didn’t feel anything.”

The room shakes again. “There. Did you feel it that time?” Now, he’s looking at me as if I’m crazy.

“No, I didn’t. Maybe you should lie down or something.”

“I’m telling you, man. Something’s going on.” I jog down the hall to the locked door. It’s ajar. Tentatively, I push on it and it creeks open. “Ford! The door’s open!” I call to him, and he sprints over to me.

“What are talking about? It’s not open.” He pushes on it, but it doesn’t move.

What the hell?

“I’m telling you, it opens for me. Watch.” I push on it, and it opens wider, revealing two narrow passage ways. The first one is bathed in a light so bright that I have to shield my eyes. The other is dark, ominous, and very unwelcoming. “See?”

He shakes his head. “All I see is a closed door.”

Maybe this door only opens when it’s your time to go through it. Ford got here after me. Maybe it’s not his time yet.

“I’m going through.”

“Wait! What about me? You’re just going to leave me here?” he says, desperation in his voice.

“Sorry man. This open door is for me. It’ll open for you when it’s supposed to.” I turn and begin to step across the threshold.

“Sebastian!” I turn to look at him. “Tell my mom I’m okay, and that I’ll make it back as soon as I can. Tell her I love her too.” I nod and continue on my journey.

The door slams shut behind me, so the only place to go is forward. It looks as though I have two choices, the lighted corridor or the darkened one. I suddenly feel weak, and feel as though the tunnel of light is pulling me toward it. I’m just about to choose it, when I hear Julia’s voice coming from the darkened side.

“Sebastian, please don’t leave me. Please come back. I need you. I love you.” Her voice echoes around this place, and she sounds so sad. I’m getting weaker by the second, and feel if I don’t choose soon, the choice will be made
for
me.

Julia

I’m numb.

How did this happen?

How did he go from being healthy and strong to this?

What a cruel joke.

This can’t be real.

Please, God, don’t let this be real.

I reach out and place my hand on top of his. It’s still warm. I recall a time, not so long ago, that I held his hand in mine as we strolled along the beach. I can still smell his intoxicating aroma, after a shower, and the taste of his lips as they covered mine.

How is this possible?

Why did he have to die?

I stand and pull the sheet up to his chest. He looks comfortable now. At peace. I sit back down and stare blankly at the shell of the man I love. Soon, his warmth will fade, and his skin will pale. I can’t bear to watch. I just can’t. Clutching my bag to my chest, I let out a sorrowful sigh. “I didn’t get to finish the letters I was reading to you. I’m sorry. I thought we had more time. We never got to say goodbye. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life. I don’t know how to go on without you, Sebastian. I don’t really want to.” I lean back, open my bag, and pull out a piece of paper. “Here’s one last letter. I wrote it while we were on the run. I don’t know if you can hear me from wherever you are, but I need to read this to you. Then I’ll go.”

With unyielding tears, I unfold it and begin.

“‘Once upon a time there lived a little girl. She had a mom and a dad, with a little sister on the way. She liked her life just fine. Then one day, she wrote a letter to a little boy. From the very first letter she knew he was different. He spoke differently, he thought differently, and there was something about him that she would forever keep close to her heart. They began writing letters back and forth. She’d tell him all her deepest secrets and desires, and they grew up knowing they’d do anything for each other.

The letters eventually turned into emails until they both turned eighteen. It was then that the girl’s life was turned upside down. You see, she’d just lost her mother to cancer, and she was very sad. She felt as though a darkness was swallowing her up, and there was no way out. She needed him, but he might as well have lived on the moon.

Unfazed by the miles between them, the boy knew what he had to do. He left his home, and flew to be with the girl. She was so happy to see him, that she forgot about her problems, if only for a little while. He spent a few days with her, helping her through her grief, and it made her feel better. It was then that she knew she really liked him.

But, tragedy followed her.

While the two friends were at her mother’s funeral, a dragon disguised as a prince, showed up and tried to take the girl away. The boy couldn’t see the prince for what he really was, so he let her be led away. This made the girl very sad once again. She tried to catch up to the boy, but she was too late. He left her.

Years went by, and the girl hadn’t heard from the boy. She always wondered what had become of him. She knew he’d probably done great things with his life, and she wished she could see him one last time.

Then, one day, she got a mysterious note. She knew instantly it was from the boy, and she stashed it away so it was always safe. He contacted her again. He was in danger, and she wanted to protect him. So, without a second thought, the girl went with him. They traveled from place to place, never knowing if or when the danger would find them. They lived in nice places, and not so nice places, but she didn’t care, as long as they were together. Eventually, they settled into a beautiful place, with palm trees and tropical breezes. They’d stroll on the beach during the day and count the stars at night. She was very happy again. It was then that she knew she loved him.

But, tragedy followed her.

The boy thought it was safer for the girl to be without him, so he left her, again. The girl was sad and angry because she knew he was wrong this time. She knew they were better together than apart, but she couldn’t convince him.

Suddenly, another, bigger dragon came and took the girl against her will. He used her as bait to lure the boy into his trap. But, the boy had a plan. He enlisted the help of some very powerful knights to slay the dragon. But, in the process, the boy was mortally wounded. The girl wept and wept with each passing day that the boy slept. She knew in her heart he’d wake but had no idea when. She began reading the old letters the boy had saved, hoping he’d hear them and awake. The very next day, he woke up, took the girl in his arms, and they lived happily ever after. It was then that she knew she could never live without him.’”

I tuck the letter back into my bag, then stand, lay my head onto the silent, rigid chest of my broken boy, and embrace him one last time. “I’ll never forget you, Sebastian,” I cry forcefully onto him. My tears sting my eyes as the pressure builds up. “I can never replace what we had. I’ll see you again someday. Until then, say hi to my mother for me. Tell her Toria looks just like her, and that Dad misses her everyday…as do I.”

I’m sobbing uncontrollably. “I. Love. You.” I inhale sharply in between each word. My arms squeeze him a little tighter, knowing it’s the last time they ever will. I’m trying to commit the feel of his body to my memory. I don’t want to let him go, but know I must. It’s with great difficulty that I finally release him. Then, taking his hand in mine, I trace a small heart into his palm, and close his fingers around it. I need him to know he’ll hold my heart forever. I then turn abruptly and walk away, knowing if I look back, I won’t be able to leave.

Just then, I hear a loud gasp. Without thinking, I turn around to see Sebastian’s chest rise prominently, then fall again. I stand frozen, unsure of what I just saw. A few seconds pass, and I see it again.

“Oh, my God! Nurse!” I run into the hallway screaming. “He’s alive! He’s alive! Come quick!” I wait, until I see a nurse and doctor running toward me, to dash back into the room, and stand beside him. They enter and immediately start to examine him. “I heard him he took two breathes. He’s alive, isn’t he? Please tell me he’s alive.” I’m panting and once again, adrenaline has taken over. I’m shaking, only this time I don’t feel faint; I’ve never felt so alive.

“Ma’am, please wait out in the hall,” the nurse says, and tries to push me aside.

“No. I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying.” She looks at the doctor, who with a nod of his head, agrees I can stay. Another nurse comes in and then another. They’re all checking this and that, listening to his heart, and checking his vitals. I’m waiting on pins and needles for someone to tell me something. Finally, Doctor Milton leaves Sebastian and approaches me.

“I’ve seen a lot of things in my time as a doctor, some just short of a miracle,” he says. “I believe that’s what he got today—a miracle. He’s alive, Miss Bessette. You can see him now.” He steps aside, and I slowly begin to walk toward Sebastian. I’m hesitant to look at him for fear I’m dreaming. The final nurse steps aside, and I see him. His eyes are open, and they seem to search the room. At last, he finds me. He closes his eyes, and smiles. Slowly reopening them, and apparently with much effort, he reaches out his hand, subtly summoning me to come to him. My walk turns into a dash, as I rush at him, and throw myself onto his chest again. This time my tears are of pure, undiluted joy as I feel him reciprocate. The sound of his heartbeat is a welcomed distraction to the realization that he’s back. I’ve never heard a more beautiful sound.

“Hey,” he says in a raspy voice. “Let me see your face.” I stand corrected,
that
is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. I look up, laughing and crying at the same time. He raises his hand and brushes a stray lock of hair from my face, his thumb gently grazing my cheek. We gaze at each other as if to memorize every feature. I sob tears so raw, that I’m sure my face will explode. “What are the waterworks for? Somebody die?”

I laugh, loudly this time. “I’m just so happy to see you. I didn’t think I’d…” I stop, unwilling to continue that sentence. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. You hear me?” He smiles, and I lean down and kiss him. I make a mental note, deciding
that
is the best kiss I’ve ever had.

After he’s thoroughly inspected by the nursing staff and by me, I fill him in on what happened after he was shot. I tell him he’s my hero for jumping in the way of the bullets that flew in my direction from Oren’s gun. And, that because of him, no one else was injured. As usual, he claims to have done nothing extraordinary, but I know different.

He reaches out to hold my hand.

“I missed you…so much. I’m sorry I left. I thought—”

“Shh,” I silence him. “I know why you did it. You thought you were protecting me, when in reality you should know we’re better together than apart. I don't blame you for any of this. I never have.” I smile at him, and he mirrors my expression.

“I think I owe you something.”

“What do you owe me?” I ask, puzzled.

“My middle name. When I was…wherever I was, I heard you reading to me.” My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “I’d forgotten how much I liked receiving and reading the letters you used to send. It wasn’t until you read one of the earliest ones that I remembered I’d never revealed it.”

I laugh. I’d almost forgotten too.

“So, are you ready to tell me what it is?” I smirk.

“It’s not great.”

“I don’t care,” I say, because it’s true.

“Okay,” he says and takes a deep breath. “It’s Bryce.”

“Bryce?”

“Yes. I know, I know, it doesn’t have the same ring to it that yours has with your first name—”

“It’s perfect” I interrupt.

“What?”

“I said it’s perfect. I like it.” His face twists as if he’s skeptical. “I’m serious. Sebastian, you fail to realize that your middle name could be Egbert, and I’d still be just as in love with you as ever.” I smile triumphantly at my little victory over his middle name and the fact that he’s back.

He winces as he struggles to sit upright, and I’m not sure what he’s trying to do until his arms are around me. I reciprocate, of course, but I’m mindful of his injuries, and don’t squeeze too tightly.

“I love you, Julia Rose,” he whispers.

“I love you more, Sebastian Bryce.”

He scoffs and cringes. “Can we just pretend my middle name doesn’t exist for now?”

I giggle. “Okay.”

Sebastian

“Did we buy enough drinks?” Julia asks as she struggles to unfold the tablecloth.

“Yes, we did. Now, stop worrying,” I say as I stride over and wrap my arms around her from behind. I rest my chin on her shoulder as she reaches back and winds her hand through my hair.

“I just want everything to be perfect when our guests arrive. Which reminds me, what time are they coming in again?”

“My parents and Chris are coming in at 9:30am, and your family’s plane is right behind them at about noon.”

“Okay. Still plenty of time to finish getting the house ready,” she says.

I release her, walk to the other side of the table, and assist her in smoothing out the table cover.

“They’re going to love you, you know. You don’t have to be nervous.”

“Am I nervous?”

“I’d say you are, considering you’ve changed this tablecloth no less than three times in the last hour.” I chuckle softly at her expense.

“I just can’t help it. I want to make a good first impression,” she says.

I walk back over to her and pull her to me.

“You’ll make the perfect first impression. Besides, it’s probably better than the one I made six years ago on your front doorstep.” She laughs at the recollection.

“You looked quite frightened at the sight of my dad.”

“I’m sure I was. And I don’t think I made it any better since.”