Trailer Park Princess (10 page)

I kick Carol’s foot as I make my way out the door. Work’s going to suck today. I smell like dried-up Toby. I feel like I smell…fishy! I could have gone to Rome’s and showered—I  probably should have—but I could not face him like this. I am so ashamed of myself. I feel like I am acting like my mother.

“Don’t kick me, you cunt.” Carol rolls over and scratches at the nasty carpet, searching for a long dried up beer bottle. She lets out a cough and rolls back over. I just roll my eyes and head out the door.

I usually love the ding of the bell over the door, but today, I do
not
want to be here. And I sure as crap don’t want to wait on Ashley. But of course it’s her that walks through the door. Just like always, she makes her way to my section with her plastic friends and sits down.  I make my way over to their table and roll my eyes.

“What can I get you girls to drink?” They ignore me. It does not really bother me; this is our game. They come in, harass me, and I take it because it’s my job. As I turn to walk off, I hear them giggle.

“Oh, waitress, we need three strawberry shortcake shakes on the double. Chop, chop.” Rolling my eyes again, I write it down and walk off. I hate them. I wish they would evaporate. After I make a complete mess of the shake station, I manage to get all the drinks back to them. I could hear them laughing hard about something while I was behind the counter. I can only guess it’s to make me uncomfortable. That’s Ashley’s usual M-O. It grates on me worse today because I had such a bad night. I cannot work through last night for the life of me.

“What is that smell? Oh, ewww,” Ashley chirps and the girl beside her swats at her. They all double over in a dramatic attempt at getting the attention of every customer in the diner. I set the drinks down on the Formica top.

“Can I get y’all anything else?”

As she smiles up at me, it’s like I can see the storm brewing in her eyes. I know something harsh and mean is coming, and it’s meant to rip me apart, just like a tornado in a trailer park.

“Tell me, Rory, was he any good? Did he make you scream his name and claw his shoulders apart?”

Gulping down the bile rising in my throat and blinking back the tears that threaten to fall, I struggle to respond.

“What are you talking about, Ashley?”
Did he seriously tell her? Why would he tell her?

“Rory, I just want to know, did he make your legs spread and a golden glow shoot out? Did the angels sing for you?”

I could just let her ramble and walk off, but I have to know. This is not one of those things you just let go.

“Did he tell you?”

After another round of laughter, Ashley dips her head like she has a huge secret, crooking her finger in a come here motion. Leaning down, I swear my legs are about collapse under me.

“No, Rory, he didn’t tell me, but you have that weird swagger to your step and, well, to be honest,” she gets louder so everyone around her can hear, “you stink. You smell like day old padussy.” I jerk back, eyes wide in shock, but she just keeps going. “You know, like day old pussy and d…” I stomp my foot and point at her.

“Shut up, Ashley! Just shut up talking to me! I know what you meant.”

I turn to run to the storage room so I can hide and cry without an audience, but I do not escape before hearing, “Not our fault you’re turning into your mother.”

I hit the door at full speed and almost knock over Mrs. Riaz. “Sorry,” is all I can say. My heart hurts, and my body aches from the earthquake-magnitude convulsions I am having. I cannot believe she said that in front of all those people. Did she really know, or did he tell her?  I hear the door shut, and I am alone. I know Mrs. Riaz loves me, but she does not do well with drama, not even Mando’s.

I hear the bell again, and I know I need to get back to work. The storage door squeaks as it’s opened, and I look up through a curtain of hair. I have to blink a few times before I can even tell who it is.

“Mama called. You want to talk about it?”

It’s the first time I’ve ever heard a normal sentence come from Mando’s mouth. “I really don’t, but I need to because if I don’t, I will die right here on this spot.” Pushing my hair back and wiping my face with a napkin she hands me, I tell her the whole story from last night. Then, I recall the events of Ashley and the plastic pack. “Do you think he told her, Mando? He wouldn’t do that, right?”

“Dude, the fact you even feel you have to ask that tells me something is eff’ed up. I mean, first off: he RAPED you, and then his bitch click comes in and attacks you while your guard is down. She knew you couldn’t jack her ass in this place. She does not pull that shiz outside of this tin can.” She is super pissed, and her English and Spanish slurs a bit like it does when she has a buzz.

“He did not rape me, Amandolette.  He was confused. I love him; I could never say he done that to me. I was there willingly.” I push myself up off the floor and straighten my uniform out.

“Whatever, you can sugarcoat this all you want to, AURORA, (eh…my whole name…now she sounds like me last night) but he had sex with you while you just laid there scared, and you said no. It’s that simple. I am telling Rome; he will bust Toby’s damn face in like he deserves.”

I do not even know what to say because technically she’s right. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t stop him either. Besides, it may have gone on like a total of five minutes. Is that even enough time to say we really had sex?

“Hey! Do not tell Rome! He will go all big brother on him, and we have enough problems already. I want to know how last night went.” I try to change the subject. “Did y’all leave prom together?” I plaster on a huge fake smile. I do not want to know if they bumped uglies, and an unnatural pang hits me right in the chest. I have to rub my hand across it to soothe it…not sure where that came from.

“Yeah, but we just sat on the porch and talked last night. He doesn’t like me that way. I am totally crushed; I just don’t get it. I mean, HOLA, MOFO, do you see this?” She shakes her butt side to side as she rubs her hands down her hips. I laugh out loud
. “I mean, I am one fly Chula OK! He is hung up on this other chick despite the fact that she’s unavailable. He no want me.” She says the last part like she is about to cry, but it’s all fake, and we both know it.

“But I thought you said he was, and I quote, ‘rubbing all up on you, and you were going to give him something to ram it up in.’”

I hate when she pokes her lips out in that duck face pose. “Nah, he only grinded into me when he wasn’t paying attention. He was so busy watching you he kept bumping into me and saying sorry. It’s OK. I ended up with Jake’s number, and that boy is all about outdoing the last guy, so he has a lot of work to do. Besides, if I’m losing a hot piece of man candy, the only chick I want to lose to is you. So it’s all good.”

What did she just say? I have to brace myself against a stock shelf so I don’t fall.

“Lose to me? No, No, No, Mando, Rome doesn’t want me like that; we’re just friends, seriously.”

“Not what he said last night.” It
was a short, simple, full-blown truth, and like she was reading my mind, “Truth, Rory.”

I cannot believe it’s been a month since prom. It took some time, but things are back to normal. Mando never told Rome about that night, and Toby got off his high horse, deciding he was in the wrong. Today is a special day, so I am starting it off with a smile even if it kills me. One whole year together. Wow… I still can’t believe it. It’s beautiful outside; the weather is warm; and the birds are chirping. It’s just perfect. This six a.m. is the sweetest ever. When I hear the ping from my ugly jitterbug-want-to-be cell phone, I know it’s Toby; it always is.

-Happy Anniversary, Baby! I love you more than life! Be ready at 7 a.m.

It’s only a week until Toby graduates. It’s pungent saccharine.
Look that one up!
He will be so far away, and I will be stuck here. But he deserves to wear that purple and gold. I’m not worried; we are strong. Especially after our epic prom failure. I can’t believe it’s only been a month now, but that night changed our lives. Toby had always said he wanted to wait, but he was sure our love was as good as a married couple.
Nothing different but the piece of paper
, he’d said. I don’t even look like myself anymore. I don’t feel like myself anymore either as I stare into the mirror. It’s like magic.
MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL
. Yeah right. I opted for a light blue pleated skirt that is barely legal length for school, a lilac v-neck fitted tee, and a pair of silver sandals embellished with blue and purple stones atop. I finished off the look with some silver hoops, a few bangles, and this pretty bluish-purple flower, pulling back one side of my hair right above my left ear. I look adult but chic. I want to look nice for our anniversary breakfast. At five minutes after seven, we are sitting across from each other at The Diner with a huge stack of never-ending flapjacks, smiling like nerds. To be honest, I kind of feel queasy, almost like I may puke. Day three of this means I may be getting sick.

Toby looks adorable in his khaki cargos, a baby blue polo to match my skirt, and a pair of leather flip flops. He looks good enough to eat. I can tell he’s nervous, and I’m not really sure why.

“Rory, I know it’s not much, but I got you a gift. I knew it was perfect when I saw it, so I had to get you one.” His cheeks are bright red, and his hands are shaking as he slides the box across the table. I sit and stare at the ring box blinking wildly. “It’s not what you think; just open it.” So I do. It’s nothing major, but it’s perfectly me. Picking up my gift, I look at it and stretch it out over my hand onto my wrist. That’s when I see the words. The bracelet is nothing fancy, but it’s better than any high class bracelet you would ever see. I twirl my wrist to admire it. Medium-sized bright-colored bubbles—red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet, in the right order—and on the top of it, white squares with black letters replace the colored bubbles. “Tobysgirl” is spelled out with little red hearts on each end. It instantly becomes my most prized possession, if you don’t count the keyboard Rome gave me on my birthday.  I jump up and give him the biggest hug.

“I love it, Toby! Thank you! It’s perfect!”
             

“It just looked like you, Rory: bright and happy with that weird throwback look you tend to love.”
 And he is right. Today is going to be another one of those epic days in my diary (If I kept one, that is. It would be the entry right after the night Rome saved me). Toby is in an extra-sweet, loving mood, and it warms my heart.

We finally make it to school. Toby walks me to homeroom, refusing
to leave when I tell him I am OK alone. Not even ten minutes after roll is called, the door opens and in comes the office aid with a huge vase of flowers. As she places them on my desk, I turn bright red. Everyone is looking at me. Pulling the card out, I start crying as I read it.

“1 white rose for our pure and once
 innocent love (winky face, lol).”

And just like that, my tears stop. Innocent my white pasty ass.

“1 yellow rose for being my best friend.”

All I have for that is Rome’s my best friend.

“1 pink rose for being my soul mate.”

OK
, so why didn’t he know I wanted to stop?

“12 red roses- 1 for each month I have loved you.”

He does love me; I know that much.

“1 Stargazer Lily for our star, SAIGE= our happy place”

I agree.             

“Loving you still”

Still? Did he ever stop?

 
The bell rings, and all I can think as I shuffle along to my next class is how perfect my boyfriend seems from the outside looking in. Within an hour, I am surprised again when the door of my class opens and in floats a bouquet of overly huge balloons. They are all shaped like stars, hearts, and music notes. And there are like ten or fifteen of them. It’s huge! Again, blood red in the face, I read the card.

“DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH, I LOVE YOU?”

Yes, just like that, in all caps. Blah!

 
I bury my face in my arms and laugh at how crazy he is—over the top and crazy. Kind of scary crazy.

It is hard to move the items around from class to class. As I make my way to the lunchroom with all the stuff, a random guy from the football team shows up at my side and holds out his hands.

“Toby told me to find you and make sure your flowers and balloons made it to his truck safe. You shouldn’t have to tote them all day.”

I hand them off with a smile and push through the doors to the lunchroom. It is so quiet, and at first, I can’t figure out why. Once I sit down, I realize the entire football team is missing.
  I look around in search of Toby or anyone from the team. They must have a meeting. I sit down and begin eating my food. My mouth is hanging open, awaiting the fry I am about to shove in, when I see Toby walking across the lunchroom smiling from ear to ear, the entire team at his heels. All of them are dressed in black suits with red ties. The front few are holding something, and they are humming. My brows knit in confusion until….ohhhhhh noooooo!

Now, I want to hide not only my face but my whole body. The entire high school student body is in this room, along with the staff. No one is moving except the football guys. Toby sits down beside me, still smiling, as each player hands me his item saying,
“For you, Rory.”
One hands me a pink cupcake, another hands me a Starbucks cup, and one hands me a milkshake. I look at Toby, confused.

“I wasn’t sure which favorite you’d be in the mood for,” he answers my unspoken question. And then they start. They are all singing together, and it looks like something from Glee.
 “L is for the way you looooook at meeeeee, O is for the only one I seeeee,” and so on. I turn to Toby as the staff starts clapping and smacking him on the shoulder, laughing.

“I cannot believe you did that,” I whisper to him. At least it’s over. I wish I could figure out why I am being so anal about the whole thing. I should be ecstatic.

We eat our lunch while the team slowly drifts back in after changing, and I find out they have been allotted a few extra minutes to eat, all of them smiling. The female teachers deemed it fair.

The rest of the day went by without any interruptions. Until last period anyway. One knock at the door and my face shoots up.
Not again.
In strolled the office aid with nothing but a tiny navy blue box with a lilac ribbon tied around it. He drops it on my desk and walks off. The note simply reads:

-
Open when you are alone.

 
My heart is pounding with the mystery of the box. It’s about the size of a Gigi’s cupcake box, and it’s wrapped perfectly. The whole ride home, Toby smiles when I ask him what’s in it and just holds my hand tightly, winking every once in a while. He actually stops to drop me off. I am betting it’s because of the flowers and balloons, even though he doesn’t make a move to help me tote them.  Either way, he loves me, just not the stupid, rat-infested trailer park I call home. Have I said it’s a trashy place, not a nice double-wide kind of place? There is no underpinning on any of the trailers; most are on blocks, and at least one window out in each of them.

As I lay on my bed wrapped in my rubber ducky sheets, (Yes, they are thrift shop couture, and were too cute to pass up.) I open the box slowly to make sure I don’t rip anything. I plan to put all my cards from today in this box and put it up. This will be my savior while we’re apart next school year, and I need to feel close to him.

Inside the box, nestled safely, is an iPod Touch in bright bubble gum pink. I flip it on and search through it, looking at all the songs. They are all attached to one list:
Love You
, and at the end of all the songs, there is a file simply named
Rory
. I plug in the headphones and hit play. I gasp when I hear Toby’s voice in my ears.

Rory, you will never know how much I love you.
  Since the day I ran you over in the hallway like a big dumb ox, you have held a special place in me. Everything about you was made for me. You fit in my arms perfect. I love that when I hug you, my chin rests on your head. I love how I can look into your eyes and see what I mean to you without judgment.  I have never loved and will never love anyone or anything the way I love you. It’s different. I know you joke, saying as long as you have my little red heart, you do not need a little red corvette, but one day, these gifts will not compare. One day, you will have your red corvette. You deserve it.  Your life has been so hard, but I am grateful for it because it led you to me. Rory, you are my world, and I promise to love you forever. I wanted you to have this while I’m gone, so you will never forget.  Our distance is temporary, and then we will be together forever. Rory, I would die without you. I couldn’t breathe if I had to without you. Nothing in this world is stronger than our love. Trust me. Tobias and Aurora against the world. Always .(his perfect laugh)…Love you, baby!

I start punching my phone to send a text.

-I heart you, Toby. Happy first year!

Most Amazing, Fabulous, Perfect First Year
 Ever! Sort of… I am such a girl! I swear confusion blows.  So should I let the prom debacle go and forgive him completely? My stomach suddenly turns, and I barely make it to the bathroom. Still smiling, I walk out and head to the kitchen. Nothing can cloud my day, not even getting sick. That is until after a few bumps on the front porch, Rome walks in with blood dripping from his hairline and his shirt ripped to shreds. My heart stops. He walks towards me, and I kick into gear.

“What the crap h
appened to you, Rome? Are you OK? Who did this?” Before I even realize it, I am putting my shoes on.

“Woah, hold up, Princess. Where are you going? I need your help.”

Dazed and confused, I finally realize what I am doing.

“I am going to kick someone’s ass; that is where I am going. Someone hurt you, and I am going to run a tire iron through his ass for it.”
Why is he laughing? This is serious.

“Princess, I’m fine. Seriously, some douchebag at the bar got a little too fired up when a guy asked his girl to dance. Red couldn’t handle him alone. I jumped in and just happened to kiss an empty beer bottle with my forehead. I’m fine; I promise. I just can’t pick the boys up looking like I was gang raped.”

I rock back on my butt and stop trying to put my shoes on. “OK, you are here, and you are safe.  SHIT!  Don’t scare me like that! I just died seeing you that way!” I scream at him, punching his arm. “I’m going to clean you up. Then, you are going to get the boys and come back here. You are not staying alone tonight. I need to know you’re OK. I have to see you breathing, or I will be useless tomorrow.”

I clean him up and then move the blankets on the sofa to get it ready for the boys.

“Princess, I’m fine, and the boys are too much to drag over here. Don’t worry, please. I didn’t mean to scare you. I really, really, really am sorry.”

I pull my shoes on and start towards the door.

“Where are you going, pretty girl?” I look over my shoulder throwing the best ‘no bullshit’ look I can manage.

“Home with you! If you won’t stay here, I will stay with you. Thax is at Jamie’s, and you need me. And that is Princess to you, buddy.”

I try not to think about how jacked up it is that it’s my one year anniversary with Toby, and here I am, curled up in the bed not two feet from a shirtless Rome. He looks rough. His ribs are bruised, and his left cheek is starting to turn a nasty shade of green.