Traitor (3 page)

“Right now, forever with you doesn’t seem like such a bad fate.”

He had said that after our wild, passionate sex. And I had craved to believe it. But it was more than I could handle, the thought of being trapped in his grip was too… tempting. And I knew that if I hadn’t escaped, I would have lost the will to leave him.

Yet here I was, falling into his arms all over again. I had to keep my distance; I couldn’t succumb to him again.

I tore my eyes from the bedroom and settled myself down on the couch. Sean joined me, but mercifully he sat as far away as possible, giving me space to breathe.

“What are you doing here, Claudia?” He asked, his voice detached.

“I…” I braced myself for the lie, but deep down I knew that it was the truth. “I couldn’t stay away.”

His expression hardened. “You told me that you never wanted to see me again. You told me that you hated me.” His eyes blazed with anger, but there was a hint of pain there as well.

I dropped my eyes. “I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I was scared.” My gaze flicked up to his. “
You
scare me. What I feel for you scares me. I haven’t felt… I haven’t felt anything for anyone in years.”

His face twisted in anguish. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me, Claudia. I would never hurt you. I would never let anything happen to you.”

“I know,” I said, my voice breaking. Again I recognized the truth. “But now I know what you are. You’re… you’re involved with bad people. Why else would that man have attacked me? He said he was a member of the Latin Kings, Sean. He wanted to hurt me to get to you. How could I not be scared?”

His eyes were filled with pain, with regret. “I never wanted you to know,” he said. “You don’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me,” I said gently.

“I can’t,” he said, aggrieved. “I can’t tell you any more. It will only put you in more danger.”

“Please,” I said. “I want to know. I want to understand.”

“Just know that I can’t help what I am. I never asked for this.” His voice was strained. “And now it’s too late for me.” He speared me with a sincere look. “I’m sorry. I can’t tell you any more than that.”

I took a deep breath, knowing that I wouldn’t get anything further out of him. And although I knew that my task was to find out more about his organization through pulling information out of him, a part of me didn’t want to know. If I heard it from his own lips, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to hold back telling him about my past, breaking down and telling about my parents. Then I would beg him to stop, to change. To take the risk for me.

But I knew that I couldn’t do that. I had to stick to my plan, regardless of my feelings for him.

You’re doing the right thing,
I assured myself again.

It was time for me to set the parameters of our relationship. I couldn’t resume anything physical with him, I knew that much. But I couldn’t stay away from him either, not if I was going to keep my promise to the FBI. Not if I was going to avenge my parents.

“Okay,” I agreed. “That’s okay. You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”

“Claudia, I can’t -” He began, but I cut him off, holding up my hand.

“I want to know you better, Sean,” I said. “I… I want to keep seeing you.”

His eyes lit up, and he reached out for me. But I quickly pulled away from him.

“But not in that way,” I said quietly. “I can’t handle that. Not right now. I’m so confused about how I feel about you. Can we start at the beginning again? Take things slow?”

He moved away from me reluctantly. “Alright,” he conceded softly. “I can understand that. We’ll go as slow as you want. I won’t scare you off again,” he promised. “I won’t lose you again.”

Oh, Sean, you’ve already lost me,
I thought, my gut twisting.

“Thank you,” I said instead.

“But if we’re going to be seeing each other, I’ll need to protect you. I can’t risk anyone coming after you again.”

No. I couldn’t have him following me. Then he would find out that I was working with the FBI, and everything would be ruined.

“No, Sean,” I said firmly. “I need some space. I still want to see you; I can’t stay away. But I’m not ready for that. I can’t be with you all the time.”

His face fell. “But you won’t be safe,” he insisted. “Please, Claudia -”

“This isn’t up for debate,” I said. “I’ll carry mace. I’ll take self-defense classes. I can protect myself.”

He frowned, anger flooding his features. “Why are you so stubborn?” He demanded. “You’re taking your life into your own hands. I won’t allow you to do that.”

I shot him a cold look. “You
won’t
allow
me?” It was my turn to be angry. “I’m not negotiating on this, Sean. I need my independence. I refuse to be completely dependent on you. Don’t you understand that that makes me feel trapped? I might as well be your prisoner again if you do this to me.”

He looked as though I had slapped him. Then his face darkened. “Fine,” he said after a moment. “If that’s how you want it to be.”

“Promise me, Sean,” I demanded. “Promise me that you won’t follow me.”

He glared at me, his green eyes blazing. “I promise,” he forced out through gritted teeth.

I breathed out a small sigh of relief.

He stood abruptly, stalking across the room to a table set by the front door. He opened the drawer set into it sharply and pulled out a revolver. It was Bradley’s gun.

“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice high and thin. I knew that he wouldn’t hurt me, but was he going to threaten me, try to force me to stay here again? I trembled, panicking at the thought.

His expression softened. “Don’t worry, Claudia,” he said, his tone soothing. He proffered the gun to me, and I recoiled. “Take it,” he ordered.

“No!” I said, alarmed. I hated guns. After what had happened to my parents and how Bradley had threatened to end my life, the idea of touching one made my stomach turn.

Sean’s face hardened, his expression forbidding. “This isn’t up for negotiation,” he said, echoing my words. “If you won’t let me protect you, then I’m not leaving you without a weapon. Do you really think mace will be enough if someone pulls a gun on you? I don’t care if you become a master kick-boxer, there’s no way you can stop a bullet.”

I stared at the revolver, wide-eyed. “I can’t,” I insisted, my voice tremulous.

He glared at me, that aura of dominance, of power, surrounding him. “You can and you will. Either you carry this or I’m going to shadow your every move. Do you understand?”

It was my turn to glare back at him. I hated it when he bossed me around. Well, except when he was seducing me…

Stop that!
I ordered myself.

“Fine!” I snapped, realizing that I had no choice in this. But my fingers shook as I took it from him.

He smiled down at me, satisfied with his victory. “Good girl,” he said.

A shiver ran down my spine as I thought of the last time he had praised me like that, after he had punished me, breaking down all my defenses, setting me free from the constant weight of keeping up my walls…

I leapt up from my seat. I needed to get out of here, to escape from the erotic memories that surrounded me in this place. “I have to go,” I said, trying to keep the panic from my voice.

He frowned. “Why?”

“I just do,” I said, tucking the gun into my purse.

“Okay,” he said reluctantly. “When will I see you again?”

“I’m not sure,” I said. How long until I succumbed to his draw again? “Soon,” I admitted.

He stood, taking a step towards me. I backed away quickly. “I’ll call you,” I promised.

“You don’t have my number,” he said.

“Oh, um, yeah.” I pulled out my phone and handed it to him.

He quickly added himself to my contacts, a small smirk on his face. When he passed it back to me, the smirk stayed in place as he intentionally brushed his fingers against mine. That familiar heat shot straight from my fingertips to my sex. I jerked my hand away, disconcerted.

“Bye,” I said, quickly turning away from him. I half-ran to the door. As I shut it behind me, I could have sworn I heard him chuckling.

The cocky, sexy bastard.

Chapter 3

After work the next day, I found myself pulling into the parking garage at the office building where the FBI’s office was discretely located. This one wasn’t publically listed, so I was more protected from the Westies finding out what I was up to. Even though Sean had promised not to tail me, that didn’t mean that Bradley wasn’t going to.

Agent Vaughn met me in the elevator, and he swiped a key card that allowed us access to the correct floor. We rode up in silence; I wanted to put off the moment that I would have to talk to him about what had transpired between Sean and me. About how I had almost let him kiss me.

“Just know that I can’t help what I am. I never asked for this.”

Sean’s words echoed in my head. If that was true, then the fact that I was using him was just that much more wrong. Maybe I could negotiate a deal for him in exchange for my information?

What information?

I hadn’t learned anything from Sean, and it seemed that he was determined to remain tight-lipped around me.

Agent Vaughn took me to that grey-walled room again, and I shuddered as I entered. Despite his assurances that he was only de-briefing me, it sure as hell felt like an interrogation when he turned on that camera.

He noticed how stiffly I was sitting in the metal chair.

“Take a deep breath, Dr. Ellers,” he said gently. “You’re safe here.”

I did as he bade me, but I still couldn’t stop my hands from twisting in my lap.

“We know that you went to see Sean,” he said. “We still have his apartment under surveillance. What happened?”

“I… We…” I swallowed hard. “Nothing much,” I hedged. What was I going to say? That I was still hopelessly attracted to him? That he refused to tell me anything about the Westies?

Agent Vaughn’s brow creased. “You were there for twenty minutes,” he said. “You must have talked about something. Unless…”

He trailed off.
Unless you were fucking him.

“No!” I said quickly. “Okay, we talked. But he wouldn’t tell me anything. He didn’t even mention the Westies. But he did say that he didn’t want to be a part of that world. It sounded like he had been forced into it.”

Agent Vaughn frowned. “You do realize that he could just be saying that because he doesn’t want you to know the truth?” He said harshly.

It way my turn to frown at him. “I don’t think so,” I said staunchly.

“You don’t want to think so,” he said ruthlessly.

I glared at him. “Sean is a good person,” I insisted. “I know it.”

“Does a good person deal drugs? Does a good person torture someone with a switchblade? We found the blood in the parking lot. There was a lot of it. You’re letting your feelings cloud your judgment, Dr. Ellers.”

I bit my lip as I remembered the man’s terrible screams. Why was Agent Vaughn making me doubt myself like this? Why was he making me doubt Sean?

He pierced me with a hard stare. After a moment, I hung my head.

“Maybe you’re right,” I said quietly.

“I know that it’s hard to swallow,” Agent Vaughn’s voice was gentler this time. “But I need you to stay focused. Can you do that for me, Dr. Ellers?”

I nodded glumly.

“Was there anything else? Anything at all?” He pressed.

“He wanted to follow me, to keep me safe,” I admitted. “But I knew that I couldn’t let him do that if I didn’t want him to find out about me meeting with you. I made him promise to stay away. So he gave me a gun.”

He regarded me for a moment. “That’s not a bad idea, actually,” he said. “You need to be able to protect yourself.”

I shook my head. “I could never use it. I only took it to make him back down.”

His expression hardened. “Taking another life is hard to deal with. I know that.” His jaw tightened; he really did understand that. I wondered who he had killed and why. “But if it comes down to you or them, I want you to choose yourself. Promise me,” he demanded.

I balked. I didn’t think I could ever do that, no matter the circumstances. But I nodded, agreeing just so that he would drop the subject.

“Did anything else happen?” Agent Vaughn moved on.

I thought for a moment. I wasn’t about to tell him about my lingering attraction to Sean. And he hadn’t revealed anything else to me anyway.

“I don’t think that Sean will ever tell me anything about the Westies,” I said hollowly. “He doesn’t want me to know.”

Agent Vaughn looked unconcerned. “Don’t worry about that,” he assured me. “He might slip up. And you can learn things just from watching him, even if he doesn’t say anything.” He fixed me with a piercing stare. “I need to know that you are with us on this, Dr. Ellers.”

I said nothing for a long moment.

“Listen,” he said, cajoling, “If he really has been forced into this, then this is the only way we’ll find out. I might be able to lessen his sentence if it turns out that he had no other choice.”

I peeked up at him. Could I trust him to keep his word? I had already condemned Sean by confessing about his assault on the rival gang member. Maybe if I could prove that he truly didn’t have a way out, they would be more lenient on him?

“Promise me,” I said hoarsely. “Promise me that you’ll go easy on him.”

Agent Vaughn looked at me levelly. “If that’s the case, I promise that I’ll do everything I can to help him.”

Some of the tension in my chest eased. “Okay,” I said. “Then I’ll do this.”

“Thank you, Dr. Ellers,” he said sincerely. “You have no idea how much this means to us, how important you are.” He paused for a moment, then pressed me again. “Is that all that happened?”

I thought over what Sean and I had talked about. We had agreed to end our sexual relationship. But that was none of Agent Vaughn’s business.

“Yes,” I confirmed, nodding decisively.

“We saw Bradley Smith leaving the building shortly after you arrived. Did he say anything to you?”

Bradley.

“He was his usual dickish self,” I said, a thread of anger tingeing my voice. “He and Sean had a bit of an altercation over my being there, but Sean forced him to back off.”