At least, Wolfe said, rubbing it in, I cant be jailed for harboring a fugitive - one of your favorite threats. But I really dont know what youre after. If it was those two youll get them, of course. What else is there'
Nothing but a little more evidence. Cramer glanced at his wristwatch. Ill get down to my office. Thats where I started for, and this was on the way so I thought Id stop to see what you had to say. Well get em all right. It dont pay to kill a cop in this town. He stood up. It wouldnt pay for anyone to hide a cop-killer in their front room, either. Thanks for the beer. Ill be expecting those affidavits, and in case -
The phone rang. I swiveled and got it. Nero Wolfes office, Archie Goodwin speaking.
Inspector Cramer there'
I said yes, hold it. For you, I told him and moved aside, and he came and took it. He spoke not more than twenty words altogether, between spells of listening.
He dropped the phone onto the cradle, growled something about more trouble, and headed for the door.
Have they found em'I asked his back.
No. He didnt turn. Someones hurt the Stahl girl.
I marched after him, thinking the least I could do was cooperate by opening another door for him, but he was there and on out before I caught up, so I about-faced and returned to the office.
Wolfe was standing up, and I wondered why all the exertion, but a glance at the wall clock showed me 3:55, nearly time for his afternoon visit to the plant rooms.
He said Janet got hurt, I stated.
Wolfe, finishing the last of his beer, grunted.
I owe Janet something. Besides, it could mean that Carl and Tina are out of it.
We ought to know, and they would like to know. I dont usually get shaved twice a day, but theres no law against it. I can be there in ten minutes. Why not'
No. He put the glass down. Well see.
I dont feel like well seeing. I need to do something. I lost ten pounds in ten seconds, standing there holding that doorknob, trying to look as if it would be fun to watch him coming to look in. If it wasnt for our guests I almost wish he had, just to see what you would do, not to mention me. Ive got to do something now.
Theres nothing to do. He looked at the clock and moved. Put those folders back, please'Halfway to the door he turned. Disturb me only if it is unavoidable. And admit no more displaced persons to the house. Two at a time is enough.
It was you who fed - I began with feeling, but he was gone. In a moment I heard the sound of his elevator.
I put the folders away and took the beer remains to the kitchen and then went to the front room. Tina, who was lying on the couch, sat up as I entered and saw to her skirt hem. She had nice legs, but my mind was occupied. Carl, on a chair near the foot of the couch, stood up and asked a string of questions with his eyes.
As you were, I told them gruffly. I heartily agreed with Wolfe that two was enough. I hope you didnt go near the windows'
We have learned so long ago to stay away from windows, Carl said. But we want to go. We will pay the fifty dollars gladly.
You cant go. I was irritated and emphatic. That was Inspector Cramer, a very important policeman. We told him you were in here, and so -
You told him - Tina gasped.
Yes. Its the Hitler-Stalin technique in reverse. They tell barefaced lies to have them taken for the truth, and we told the barefaced truth to have it taken for a lie. It worked. You were within a hairs breadth of getting flushed, and Ill never be the same again, but it worked. So now were stuck, and you are too. You stay here. Weve told the cops youre in this room, and youre not going to leave it, at least not until bedtime. Im locking you in. I pointed to a door. Thats a bathroom, and theres a glass if you want a drink. It has an other door into the office, but Ill lock it. The windows have bars.
I crossed to the door to the hall and locked it with my master key. I went through to the office, entered the bathroom in the corner, turned the bolt flange on the door to the front room, opened the door an inch, returned to the office, locked that door with my key, and went back to the front room. Carl and Tina, speaking in low tones, fell silent as I entered.
All set, I told them. Make yourselves comfortable. If you need anything dont yell, this room is soundproofed; push this button. I put my finger on it, under the edge of the table. Ill give you the news as soon as there is any. I was going.
But this is hanging in the air on a thread, Carl protested.
Youre damn right it is, I agreed grimly. Your only hope is that Mr. Wolfe has now put his foot in it, and its up to him to get both you and him loose,
not to mention me. He cant possibly do it, which is an advantage, because the only things he ever really strains himself on are those that cant be done. The
afternoon session, from four to six, with his orchids up on the roof. By the way, there is a small gleam. Inspector Cramer beat it back to the shop because he got a phone call that Janet had been hurt. If she got hurt with scissors with you not there, it may be a real break.
Janet'Tina was distressed. Was she hurt much'
I looked at her suspiciously. Surely that was phony. But she looked as if she really meant it. Maybe with some people who have been hurt plenty and often themselves, thats the way they react when someone else gets it, someone they know.
I dont know, I said, and Im not going to try to find out. Curiosity can be justified only up to a point, and this is no time to stretch it. Well have to sit it out, at least until six oclock. I glanced at my wrist. Thats only an hour and twenty minutes. Then well see if Mr. Wolfe has cooked up a charade. If not, he may at least invite you to dinner. See you later.
As I turned to go Carl sprang and broke my neck.
I have had enough unpleasant surprises over the years so that I am never completely off guard, but I admit I was careless that time because I underestimated him. He was a full three inches and thirty pounds under me, but I should have known that a guy who had managed a getaway from a concentration camp, and also from a continent, must have learned some good tricks. He had. The one he tried on me took him off the floor and through the air at my back, got his knees in my spine and his arm hooked under my chin. I was careless, but not quite careless enough. I heard and felt his rush too late to wheel or step, but in time to arch my back and drop my chin. He fastened onto me piggyback, and his muscles were a real surprise.
If he was that quick on the spring he might be just as quick with his left hand getting out a knife, so I didnt try to get subtle. I bent my knees, called on my legs for all they had, jumped straight up as high as I could with him on me,
jerked backwards in the air to horizontal, and hit the floor - or he did, with me on top. It squashed air out of him and jolted his arm loose. I bounced off to the right, got my feet under me, and came up, facing Tina in case she was prepared to help.
She wasnt. She was just standing there, frozen, with no blood left in her,
anyway not in her face. I moved my head a little from left to right and then slowly in a circle. I thought he broke my neck, I told her, but he didnt. He only tried to.
She had no comment. Carl was on the floor, pulling air in for replacement. I stepped to him, reached down for his arm, yanked him upright, and went over him good. The only tool he had was a pocket knife with two little blades.
I backed up a step and remarked, You act on impulse, dont you'
I couldnt break your neck, he said, as if his feelings were hurt. Youre too strong.
You sure could try.
No. I only wanted to go. If we stay here there is no hope. It would have made you numb, that was all.
Yeah. Napoleons been numb for over a century. I hope your ribs hurt. If so,
think of me.
I went to the door to the office, passed through, closed the door, and locked it. There in privacy I took a survey, physical and mental. It was no pleasure to move my head, especially backward, but it did move. My back was sore where his knees had hit it, but some assorted twisting and bending proved that all the joints worked without cracking. I sat at my desk for the mental part. Getting my neck broke, or damn near it, had cleared my brain. Being smart enough to get it in that neither Carl nor Tina could drive a car was all right as far as it went,
but it proved nothing at all about the scissors in Jake Wallens back; it merely showed that there are motives and motives. The cops thought Wallen had been killed by a cornered hit-and-run driver, but what did I think'And even more important, what did Wolfe think'Was he up ahead of me as usual, or was he being too offhand, since no fee was involved, and maybe letting us in for a bloody nose'
I sat and surveyed and got so dissatisfied that I rang the plant rooms, told Wolfe about Carls attempt to numb me, and tried to go on from there, but he brushed me off and said it could wait until six oclock. I sat some more,
practiced moving my head in various directions, and then got up to do back exercises. I was bending to touch the floor with my fingers when the phone rang.
It was Sergeant Purley Stebbins. Archie'Purley. Im at the barber shop. We want you here quick.
Two things told me it was no hostile mandate: his tone and the Archie. The nature of my encounters with him usually had him calling me Goodwin, but occasionally it was Archie.
I responded in kind. Im busy but I guess so. If you really want me. Do you care to specify'
When you get here. Youre needed, thats all. Grab a cab.
I buzzed Wolfe on the house phone and reported the development. Then I got a gun from the drawer, went to the kitchen and gave it to Fritz, described-the status of the guests, and told him to keep his eyes and ears open. Then I hopped.
The crowd of spectators ganged up in the corridor outside the Goldenrod Barber Shop was twice as big as it had been before, for two reasons. It was just past five oclock, and home-goers were flocking through for the subway; and inside the shop there was a fine assortment of cops and dicks to look at. The corridor sported not one flatfoot, but three, keeping people away from the entrance and moving. I told one of them my name and errand and was ordered to wait, and in a minute Purley came and escorted me in.
I darted a glance around. The barber chairs were all empty.
Fickler and three of the barbers, Jimmie, Ed, and Philip, were seated along the row of waiting chairs, in their white jackets, each with a dick beside him. Tom was not in view.
Other city employees were scattered around.
Purley had guided me to the corner by the cash register.
How long have you known that Janet Stahl'he demanded.
I shook my head reproachfully. Not that way. You said I was needed, and I came on the run. If you merely want my biography, call at the office any time during hours. If you call me Archie, even after hours.
Cut the comedy. How long have you known her'
No, sir. I know a lawyer. Lay a foundation.
Purleys right shoulder twitched. It was only a reflex of his impulse to sock me, beyond his control and therefore nothing to resent. Some day, he said,
setting his jaw and then releasing it. She was found on the floor of her booth,
out from a blow on her head. We brought her to, and she can talk but she wont.
She wont tell us anything. She says she dont know us. She says she wont talk to anybody except her friend Archie Goodwin. How long have you known her'
Im touched, I said with emotion. Until today Ive merely leered at her, with no conversation or bodily contact of any kind. The only chat Ive ever had with her was here today under your eye, but look what it did to her. Is it any wonder my opinion of myself is what it is'
Listen, Goodwin, were after a murderer.
I know you are. Im all for it.
Youve never seen her outside this shop'
No.
That can be checked maybe. Right now we want you to get her to talk. Goddam her, shes stopped us dead. Come on. He moved.
I caught his elbow. Hold it. If she sticks to it that shell only talk with me Ill have to think up questions. I ought to know what happened.
Yeah. Purley wanted no more delay, but obviously I had a point. There were only three of us left, me here at the front, and Joffe and Sullivan there on chairs. The barbers were all working on customers. Fickler was moving around. I was on the phone half the time. We had squeezed out everything we could here,
for the present anyhow, and it was a letdown, you know how that is.
Where was Janet'
Im telling you. Toracco, thats Philip, finished with a customer, and a new one got in his chair - we were letting regular customers in. The new one wanted a manicure, and Toracco called Janet, but she didnt come. Fickler was helping the outgoing customer on with his coat. Toracco went behind the partition to get Janet, and there she was on the floor of her booth, cold. She had gone there fifteen minutes before, possibly twenty. I think all of them had gone behind the partition at least once during that time.
You think'
Yes, I think.
It must have been quite a letdown.
I said I was on the phone a lot. Joffe and Sullivan will not be jumped up, and dont they know it. You know damn well how much we like it, her getting bopped with three of us right here.
How bad is she hurt'
Not enough for the hospital. Doc let us keep her here. She was hit above the right ear with a bottle taken from the supply shelf against the partition, six feet from the entrance to her booth. The bottle was big and heavy, full of oil.
It was there by her on the floor.
Prints'
For Gods sake, start a school. He had a towel in his hand or something. Come on.
One second. What did the doctor say when you asked him if she could have been just testing her skull'
He said it was possible but he doubted it. Come and ask her.
Feeling that I had enough for a basis for conversation, I followed him. As we went toward the partition all the barbers and dicks along the row of chairs gave us looks, none of them cheerful. Fickler was absolutely forlorn.
I had never been behind the partition before. The space ran about half the length of the shop. Against the partition were steamers, vats, lamps, and other paraphernalia, and then a series of cupboards and shelves. Across a wide aisle were the manicure booths, four of them, though I had never seen more than two operators in the shop. As we passed the entrance to the first booth in the line a glance showed me Inspector Cramer seated at a little table across from Tom,
the barber with white hair. Cramer saw me and arose. I followed Purley to the third booth, and on in. Then steps came behind me, and Cramer was there.
It was a big booth, eight by eight, but was now crowded.
In addition to us three and the furniture, a city employee was standing in a corner, and, on a row of chairs lined up against the right wall, Janet Stahl was lying on her back, her head resting on a stack of towels. She had moved her eyes, but not her head, to take in us visitors. She looked beautiful.
Heres your friend Goodwin, Purley told her, trying to sound sympathetic.
Hello there, I said professionally. What does this mean'
The long home-grown lashes fluttered at me. You, she said.
Yep. Your friend Archie Goodwin. There was a chair there, the only one she wasnt using, and I squeezed past Purley and sat, facing her and close. How do you feel, terrible'
No, I dont feel at all. I am past feeling.
I reached for her wrist, got my fingers on the spot, and looked at my watch. In thirty seconds I said, Your pump isnt bad. May I inspect your head'
If youre careful.
Groan if it hurts. I used all fingers to part the fine brown hair, and gently but thoroughly investigated the scalp. She closed her eyes and flinched once,
but there was no groan.
A lump to write home about, I announced. Doing your hair will be a problem.
Id like to give the guy that did it a piece of my mind before plugging him. Who was it'
Send them away, and Ill tell you.
I turned to the kibitzers. Get out, I said sternly. If I had been here this would never have happened. Leave us.
They went without a word. I sat listening to the sound of their retreating footsteps outside in the aisle, then thought I had better provide sound to cover in case they were careless tiptoeing back. They had their choice of posts, just outside the open entrance or in the adjoining booths. The partitions were only six feet high. It was dastardly, I said. He might have killed you or disfigured you for life, and either one would have ruined your career. Thank God youve got a good strong thick skull.
I started to scream, she said, but it was too late.
What started you to scream'Seeing him, or hearing him'
It was both. I wasnt in my chair, I was in the customers chair, with my back to the door - I was just sitting trying to think - and there was a little noise behind me, like a stealthy step, and I looked up and saw him reflected in the glass, right behind me with his arm raised, and I started to scream, but before I could get it out he struck -
Wait a minute. I got up and moved my chair to the outer side of the little table and sat in it. These details are important. You were like this'
Thats it. I was sitting thinking.
I felt that the opinion I had formed of her previously had not done her justice.
The crinkly glass of the partition wall could reflect no object whatever, no matter how the light was. Her contempt for mental processes was absolutely spectacular.
I moved my chair back beside her. From that angle, as she lay there flat on her back, not only was her face lovely to see, but the rest of her was good for the eyes too.
I asked, But you saw his reflection before he struck'
Oh, yes.
Did you recognize him'
Of course I did. Thats why I wouldnt speak to them. Thats why I had to see you. It was that big one with the big ears and gold tooth, the one they call Stebbins, or they call him Sergeant.
I wasnt surprised. I knew her quality now. You mean it was him that hit you with the bottle'
I cant say it was him that hit me. I think people should be careful what they accuse other people of. I only know it was him I saw standing behind me with his arm raised, and then something hit me. From that anyone can only draw conclusions, but there are other reasons too. He was rude to me this morning,
asking me questions, and all day he has been looking at me in a rude way, not the way a girl is willing for a man to look at her because she has to expect that. And then you can just be logical. Would Ed want to kill me, or Philip or Jimmie or Tom or Mr. Fickler'Why would they'So it must have been him even if I hadnt seen him.
It does sound logical, I conceded. But Ive known Stebbins for years and have never known him to strike a woman without cause. What did he have against you'