ELEVEN
HADLEY
O
n Monday everyone wants to share their experiences from the dance every chance they get. There's absolutely nowhere I can go to hide from the stories. It was bad enough that my Facebook newsfeed was assaulted with dance pictures all weekend, but now I have to hear about it at school. I’m more than grateful when the final bell rings and Paige and I race out to her car.
“It’s pretty sad that
no one has anything real going for them besides a silly dance, huh?” Paige says as she turns the key in the ignition.
“Yeah.” I lean my head against the seat
, allowing a long stream of air to flow past my lips. I don’t have the energy to come up with something witty back. The truth is, I don’t know what big things Paige and I have going for us at the moment.
Paige must sense my darkening mood, because she keeps quiet as she pulls out of the parking lot. She cranks up the radio and a loud hip hop beat fills the car.
I savor the feeling of the beat under my body and the rumbling of tires on the asphalt. It dulls my senses and lulls me into quiet oblivion. The drive home is a short one and before I know it Paige is pulling up in front of Rob’s house. I wonder if I’ll ever feel like it’s mine. It still feels like we’re just guests in someone else’s home.
“Thanks
, Paige.” I reach for the door handle. “Mom says I can use the car tomorrow, so you’re off the hook.”
“Okay. Let me know if anything changes.”
After stepping on the curb, I close the door. Paige waves before driving off, her minivan barreling down the road in jerky motions. It's a wonder she's still alive. When I reach the front door it springs open and Ainsley bolts out, Adam at her heels.
Looks like they’re back.
“
Leelee,” Ainsley squeals.
“It’s Hadley,” I enunciate loudly.
“Hadley, she’s two,” Mom chastises me, following behind Ainsley.
“Still. Shouldn’t we be teaching her how to speak properly?” I place a hand on my hip.
“Whatever.” Mom sighs, the tiredness on her face more pronounced than usual. “Can you just watch Ainsley and Adam outside for a few minutes? I’m trying to mop the floor in the kitchen, and they want to play outside while the weather’s nice.”
Rob
is having the backyard re-landscaped, so the kids aren’t allowed to play in the back yard right now. And with the weather being so bad lately, they've been going stir crazy. However, it isn’t really my responsibility to keep them busy.
“Mom,” I moan. “I have homework.”
“Well, do it out here.” Mom gives me a pleading look. “Please, Hadley? Just a few minutes?”
“Fine.” I turn to the Ainsley and Adam while Mom heads back inside. “But you two need to stay right here.” I walk to the front lawn and plop down on the soft grass. Adam drops to his knees on the driveway, pushing around a toy car. He always has one in his hand. Ainsley pushes a ball across the grass. Satisfied that they’re busy, I fish inside my backpack to find my math book. Math is my least favorite subject, so that’s why I work so hard on it. In order to cling to the hope that my best years are ahead of me, I have to get good grades. I plan to get into college and move far away from here – to a place where no one knows me and I can start fresh. After opening the heavy book, I lay it over my lap. I do a few problems to the soundtrack of Adam’s car noises. When I glance up, my stomach drops. Where is Ainsley?
“Adam,” I call out.
The little boy looks up at me, his eyebrows raised.
“Where is your sister?”
“Don’t know.” He shrugs, and then goes back to pushing his car.
My gaze sweeps the street
, but I don’t see her anywhere.
Crap.
I shove the book off my lap and hop up. “Adam, c’mon.” I hold out my hand. “Let’s go look for her.” To my surprise he listens, standing up and tucking his tiny hand in mine. It's sticky and sweaty, but surprisingly I'm not totally grossed out. I guess I am getting used to them. Before leaving the front yard I glance back at the house and I’m grateful that Mom isn’t watching through the window. I don’t want to admit to her that I lost one of Rob’s kids. Ainsley couldn’t have gotten very far, could she?
I drag
Adam down the sidewalk, keeping my eyes peeled. “Ainsley!” I call out, one hand cupped around my mouth. This is the reason I never wanted younger siblings. This is way too much work.
I’m almost to
Tripp’s house when I hear footsteps coming down his walkway. “Lose something?”
Tripp struts out from behind the fence, Ainsley dangling from his arms
. I heave a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank God.”
He deposits Ainsley on the ground in front of me.
“I told you to stay in the front yard,” I scold her.
“So you were babysitting, huh?” Tripp’s face holds an amused expression.
I nod, biting my lip. “Man, my mom’s gonna kill me.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t say anything.” He winks. “You’re secret is safe with me.”
“Thanks,” I say, and I genuinely mean it. “I just can’t believe she was able to run off so fast. I only looked away for a few minutes.”
“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Tripp says, mussing Ainsley’s
hair with his hand. “She’s fine. Besides, Ainsley’s been here before, haven’t you?”
Ainsley smiles up at Tripp and I marvel at how even a two year
old is smitten with him. “Well, I better get back before Mom notices us missing.” I reach for Ainsley’s hand, but she pulls away from me.
“Here.” Tripp sweeps her up into his arms and she squeals with delight. “I’ll help you get her back.”
I want to tell him that he doesn’t need to help me. Only I do actually desire help right now. I don’t feel like chasing Ainsley through the streets, and Tripp does have a handle on things. While Tripp walks beside me holding Ainsley, her little chubby legs kicking in the air, I pull Adam by the arm. Tripp’s woodsy scent wafts under my nose, causing my heart to flip in my chest. Last year I had one class with Tripp, and I remember smelling him through the whole period, fantasizing about being in his arms. I blush at the memory, glad that Tripp can’t read my mind.
“So
, you were right, you know,” Tripp says, breaking through the silence.
“About what?”
“About the dance being lame.”
I give him a sidelong glance to try to figure out if he’s messing with me. “You and Sonya looked pretty cozy from my vantage point.”
“You saw us?” He cocks an eyebrow, and I feel like an idiot.
“No, I mean…well…yeah, but only because I came outside to help Paige carry in her overnight bag when she came over.”
Tripp nods. “I bet you two had more fun than we did.”
“
I thought you liked dances.”
“I never said I liked them.” He smiles at me. We reach my house and he drops Ainsley in the grass. I release Adam’s hand
, and he resumes playing with his car.
“Then why did you go?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the kids.
He shrugs. “The same reason I do most things. It’s expected.”
Before I can ask what he means by that, Mom peeks outside. I hold my breath, wondering if she noticed we were gone earlier. “Hey.” She smiles
calmly, and I surmise that this is the first time she’s checked on us. Her gaze lands on Tripp, and her smile deepens. She pushes away from the door and walks toward us. “You must be Tripp.”
My cheeks warm, and I stare hard at my feet.
“And you must be Mrs. Summers.” He holds out his hand.
“It’s actually Mrs. Haywood now, but you can call me Jenny.” I cringe at how nice Mom is being. It’s obvious that she thinks there is something going on with Tripp and me. “Are you staying for dinner, Tripp?”
I shake my head furiously at her from behind Tripp’s back, but she ignores me.
“I’d love to.” Tripp grins at her.
“Great. I’ll set another place.” Mom nods and turns around.
I glare at her back as she scurries back inside. When Tripp turns to me, I shake my head. “You don’t have to stay. If you need to head home, she’ll understand.”
Tripp shrugs. “My parents are gone for the evening. A home cooked meal with your family beats a TV dinner by myself.”
My insides coil into tiny knots. Is Tripp really going to eat dinner with us?
This is something I never thought would happen. I marvel about how much I’ve fantasized about this exact thing happening. However, now that it is, I just feel sick. I stare at him, trying to figure out why he’s being so nice to me.
“
Leelee!” Ainsley squeals heading in my direction. She has Adam’s toy truck in her fist, and he’s fast approaching her. I know that any minute he will tackle her to the ground and pummel her. So I scoop her up.
“Adam, you can share with your sister,” I admonish him. “You have
another car.” I indicate the other one nestled in the grass.
When he runs in the direction of it, Tripp turns to me, his eyebrows raised. “
Leelee, huh?”
I shrug, putting Ainsley down. “She can’t say Hadley apparently.”
“I like it.” He locks eyes with mine, and for a minute I feel like I’m drowning in his dark brown eyes.
“I don’t.” I lower my gaze, feeling unnerved by his intense stare. “Look, you don’t have to keep babysitting with me. I’m sure you have more exciting things to do.”
“Not really,” he says.
I fix him with an incredulous stare. “You expect me to believe that?”
“You can believe whatever you want.” He plops down on the grass, bringing his knees up. Shielding his eyes with his hand, he peers up at me. “You like to think you know everything about me, Hadley, but the truth is you don’t know me at all. You get so angry at the popular crowd for judging you, but you do the same thing to us.”
Anger bubbles inside of me. I glare down at him. “It’s not the same thing at all. I’m just calling it like I see it.”
“Oh, yeah? Then go ahead. Now’s your chance. Tell me what you see in me.” He spreads out his hands before him, like an offering.
I bite my lip, lowering myself to the ground next to him. I’m ready to tell him off. To tell him what a jerk he is
, how arrogant and selfish. Only I can’t. The truth is, that doesn’t really describe Tripp. Sure it describes Sonya and many others from that group. But he’s right about one thing. I don’t really know him. And in all the interactions I’ve had with him he’s seemed nice. I feel the fight withering inside of me, like a balloon deflating. I finally say the only honest thing I can. “I see a guy who has everything.” I turn to him and add, “And I guess I can’t figure out why you’re wasting your time hanging out with me.”
“Maybe this is where I want to be.”
I huff at that.
“Hadley,
it’s clear that you’ve been treated badly by some of my friends. But I’m not my friends. I’m my own person. And I assure you this isn’t a part of some prank.” He laughs lightly. “Call me crazy, but I’ve enjoyed our conversations.” He flashes me a lopsided smile. “Even if most of them have included you calling me names.”
I want to come back with something, but clamp my mouth shut instead knowing that he’s right.
“Sorry about that,” I mumble, the words stinging the back of my throat.
“
So, what do you say Leelee? Can we agree to start over?”
“If you promise to
never call me Leelee again.” I pick at a blade of grass, not able to look him in the eye.
“It’s a deal.”
Tripp glances up at the kids as they run through the grass. “So, how do you feel about your new insta-family?”
“Insta-family. I like that.” Scrunching up my nose, I look at Ainsley and Adam. “Truthfully, I kinda liked it b
etter when it was just Mom and me, but I know that Rob makes her happy, so I guess it’s fine.”
“Your dad’s not around?”
I wasn’t expecting Tripp to be so inquisitive. “Um…no, my dad’s around. My parents split up a couple of years ago, but he still lives here in Folsom.” Hoping to get the conversation off of me, I ask, “What about you? Are your parents still together?”
“Yeah.”
I feel a small pang of jealousy. “Well, that’s nice.”
“I guess.” His expression darkens, surprising me.
My gaze lifts to his house, and I wonder what goes on inside. Clearly there is more to Tripp’s story than just what I know. I’m about to press further when a car pulls into the driveway. I jump up to hold the kids back. I’ve witnessed their dad coming home enough to know that they will go running in his direction the minute they can. Once he’s parked, I allow them to go after him.
Then I turn to Tripp. “Last chance to get out of this.”
He smiles. “I’m not looking for a way out, Hadley.”
“It’s your funeral,” I say
, before guiding him up to the house. As we step inside together, I work hard to temper the smile on my face. No matter how hard I try to act like this is no big deal, it certainly is. Tripp Bauer is having dinner at my house. It’s like I’ve entered some alternate universe or something. I try to imagine what Paige would say about this. Heck, anyone at our school would be shocked.