Authors: Lynda LeeAnne
I didn’t respond or move. I did nothing but
silently cry and my hot tears left tracks down my cheeks.
“I understand what you’re saying, but can
you understand that I wanted you to stop seeing other women because
you only wanted me?” I cried quietly. I tried to keep my voice
steady, but failed miserably. “It hurts to know that the person you
want, also wants you, but will easily find what he needs from other
women if he wants to.”
Tony closed his eyes and sighed. He dropped
his forehead to my shoulder and rested it there for a few seconds
before crushed my body to his. His forehead lifted and his lips
touched my shoulder. They moved unhurried and steady, as if I never
spoke. His kisses traveled from my shoulder, to my collarbone, up
the side of my neck, to my jaw and then to my cheek where he kissed
my tears away. He placed a small kiss to my closed eye before
kissed the tip of my nose. He moved to the other side and showed
that cheek the same attention before kissing my tears away.
I clutched his shirt at the sides
desperately. His hands lifted to frame my face and his thumbs wiped
away the wetness.
“This is killing me. Every tear you shed it
fuckin’ torture,” he said in a strangled voice. He placed a soft,
sweet kiss to my lips before he rested his forehead against mine.
When I opened my eyes, I was completely caught off guard. His eyes
were closed, but a single tear slid down his cheek. His eyes were
glassy when they opened.
I couldn’t stop the sob that tore from my
lips.
“I’m begging you to give me another chance.
Let me make things right,” he pleaded… and I knew in my heart that
I would forgive him… but I wouldn’t forget.
“I don’t trust you,” I whispered, even
though my words said the complete opposite of what I felt. I knew I
trusted him, but I was hurting. I wanted to tell him “I love you”
back, but I was terrified.
“You will, I promise,” he vowed.
Don’t cry… don’t cry… stop thinking about
the past.
As I came out of my memory and stared
unseeingly out the passenger window, I realized that I never got
the chance to tell Tony that I loved him.
I silently swore to myself that if I ever
got the chance, I’d never stop telling him.
I didn’t even look at Tony when the
explanation poured out of my mouth.
I needed him to know.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, and
please don’t cut me off before I finish,” I started, speaking
rapidly, “I need you to know that I never cheated on you, Tony. I
know you think I had sex with your sister’s fiancé, but he never
touched me that way… not even close. The only thing I took off was
my shirt so I could stage those pictures. I was drunk. I was angry
that you actually took me there in the first place, but on top of
that, every time I turned around you were standing with a different
woman. You left me by myself. I’m not blaming you for my childish
mistake, but you have to know, when the opportunity to pay your
sister back for what she did to Lex came up, I felt like I had to
take it. I swear I just took those pictures and left. I wasn’t even
going totext them to Destiny, but I blamed her for all the bad shit
that my best friend went through. I know now that it was stupid and
immature, but I was hurt too, but you knew how much I hated
her.”
“Can we not do this now?” he asked
warningly.
“Why? Because you can’t run from me? Because
you have to listen to me now that we’re locked up in your truck
together?”
“Why? Because you have no choice but to
listen to me since we’re locked in your truck?”
He glared at me quickly.
“My sister’s a bitch, I get that. I love
her, but ever since she was a kid, she was a spoiled brat. She grew
up with her mother who is also a bitch. If she would have lived
with our dad, he would have whipped her ass in shape, but she
didn’t. When you found out Destiny was my sister, I believed you
when you told me she practically forced Landyn into fucking her
while he was dating Lex. I got that then, but I never would have
imagined you’d turn into a bitch too. You really expect me to
believe that you didn’t fuck Brian? I know what I saw in those
pictures, so don’t try to play me. Destiny might have been foolish
enough to believe Brian, but I’m not that stupid. Funny thing,
though. I could never figure out why you would fuck some random guy
for a little pay back, but you wouldn’t fuck me!”
“I’m not a bitch,” was my immediate
response. “And not having sex with you wasn’t all my fault. If I
remember correctly, you felt so guilty about parading all your
sluts around in front of me when we were
just friends,
that
when we actually became a couple, you didn’t want to rush things. I
tried. We did everything else except that and I would have let
things go further, but it was you that stopped it from
happening.”
Tony glanced at me with narrowed eyes and
turned back to the road before he drove the stake through my heart.
“You’re right. We hadn’t been together that long and I didn’t want
to ruin things after the stupid shit I put you through, but now I
know I should have fucked you like I did the rest. You turned out
to be nothing but a whore in end anyway,” he said, and every word
dripped with biterness.
I knew this was going to be a bad idea!
I would have punched him in the face if he
hadn’t been driving and could have accidently killed us. I might
have wanted him to go to Hell, but I didn’t want him to die.
“Pull over,” I demanded and he glanced at me
again. His eyes roamed over my face before he turned away.
“No.”
“Pull… Over!” I demanded again and my voice
grew louder. This time he didn’t respond at all, not one single
movement.
I picked up my purse, dug around for my
phone and as soon as my hand came into contact with it, my heart
picked up speed. I shook with fury as I scrolled through my contact
list.
“What are you doin’?” Tony asked and I
stupidly,
stupidly
told him.
“I’m calling Adam. He’ll come pick me up
because I don’t want to bother Lex with this. I knew this was a bad
idea. I never lied to you before and I’m not lying now!” I ended in
a shout.
I found Adam’s number and hit the send key,
but it was too late. Tony snatched the phone away from my ear and
threw it in the back seat.
“Pull over!” I shouted and then punched him
in the arm hard enough to let off some frustration. I unbuckled my
seatbelt and reached over the center console. When I found my phone
on the floorboard I shouted, “Got it!”
I pulled myself up to sit back in my seat,
but my whole body was thrown into the passenger door when Tony
swerved off the highway. The truck came to a complete stop, and he
threw it in park. I fumbled with the handle of the door as he moved
to take my phone again, but he was too slow. When the door flew
open, I jumped down from the truck and ran.
“Trish! Get back here!” Tony roared, but I
was quick. There was a gas station about a football field away. I
knew I could make it, I was in shape, and as I ran, the phone in my
hand rang.
Adam…
I answered it quickly and huffed, “I’ll call
you back,” then hung up on him.
I made it about fifteen yards; only fifteen
freaking yards before Tony grabbed me around the waist, spun me
around, ripped my ringing phone out of my hand and tossed it to the
other end of the field. I watched the lighted phone as it sailed
through the air and landed on the ground somewhere far, far
away.
“I can’t believe you just did that!” I
screamed in his face while still looked in the direction of my
phone. If he’d been looking at me, I would have seen the vicious
expression on his face and
never
would have screamed a
word.
I tried to back away, but his hand lifted
and I flinched. He palmed my face and lifted it to to meet his. My
breathing became erratic and my muscles tensed.
“Stop flinching from me,” he muttered, as
his eyes did a quick sweep across my face. I didn’t respond.
“Is Adam your man?” he asked.
I had to whisper, “What?” because I was
still trying to catch my breath.
“You heard me. Is he your man?”
I shook my head and blinked a few times
before I answered. “Adam is Landyn’s brother. He’s not my
boyfriend.” Tony tilted my face up a little further. His face
dipped until his nose almost touched mine.
“You gonna lie to me and tell me he doesn’t
want you?” he asked quiet and deep. His tone dared me to lie.
I answered by shaking my head again. As much
as Adam joked around and flirted with me, I knew that if I gave him
a chance to get in my pants, he’d take it.
“Why do you care, Tony? You’re not mine
either,” I informed him, again still whispering, but with a little
more confidence this time. At that, Tony’s hands dropped from my
face and he backed up while he spoke. “You’re right, I’m not yours,
but you’re not his either and you can forget about calling him.” He
paused before ordering, “Get back in the truck, Trish.”
It took me a minute to compose myself.
“You’re an asshole. Adam is my friend and
I’ll call him if want, so stop trying to tell me what I can and
can’t do,” I snapped with attitude. His eyes narrowed to slits.
“Get used to it. You want us to get along…
don’t mention Adam again.”
I glared at him and muttered, “I hate you,”
but knew damn well I still loved him.
“Yeah? Well, not as much as I hate you. Now
get back in the truck.”
“Say please!” I shouted.
“Please get back in the fuckin’ truck before
I carry you back,” he ground out between his teeth. I rolled my
eyes at his poor attempt at being polite and muttered, “You’re an
asshole.” I turned and headed back to the truck. After I climbed
in, I watched Tony round the hood, open the driver’s side door and
groan deep and loud as he climbed in. He sat quietly for a long
moment as he held his side. It wasn’t until he took a few deep
breaths that I realized I’d forgotten he was hurt.
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry.” I leaned over the
center console, reached over and moved his flannel shirt out of the
way. I lifted the hem of his t-shirt, wiggled my hand underneath
and pressed lightly on his hurt side. He hissed from the
pressure.
“Tony, we need to go to the hospital.”
“I’m fine. They’re just sore,” he mumbled.
When I glanced up, he already stared down at me. I couldn’t tell if
it was pain or longing behind his dreamy eyes, but it sure as hell
wasn’t hate.
“I’m sorry,” I said again, this time very,
very quietly as I backed away.
“Just put on your seat belt and don’t even
think about jumping out of the truck again,” he growled and paused
a moment before he finished with a grumbled, “Please.”
He started the truck and another silent
twenty minutes into the drive passed before I spoke again.
“I’m sorry about your dad. I know I only met
him a few times, but I thought he was a sweetheart.”
“Thanks,” he said softly without taking his
eyes off the road.
“Have you seen your mother’s family since
you’ve been back?” I probably shouldn’t have asked, but I was too
curious not to.
Tony was only four years old when his mom,
Roxanne, passed away in a car accident. He’d been too young to
remember much about her, but from what he told me, her family sort
of took over and helped him and his father keep it together. I used
to love hearing Tony speak Spanglish to his aunts, uncles and
cousins on phone.
I never got the chance to meet that side of
his family, but the stories he told about his childhood all
included them and they sounded amazing.
I’m talking traditional, all-day Sunday
gatherings with the whole familia. The aunts that lived in the
kitchen and made a ton of food; things like posolé, menudo,
frijoles a la charra, homemade tamales and perfectly rounded
tortillas.
I mean, who in the heck makes perfectly
rounded tortillas? I make them, I get a stack of all fifty-two
states and half of Europe.
I sighed.
He and his cousins played every sport
imaginable and he broke bones in his hands, fingers and collar bone
on both sides, all on more than one occasion. But the way he
described it, it almost sounded worth it. He was also the trouble
maker of the group, and let’s just say… he never forgot his cleats
before a fight.
His girl cousins had Quienceañeras, and when
he was old enough,
yeah right,
he would get drunk with his
uncles, pick up chicks and dance.
He said he actually danced!
I could
only imagine how bad that was, but regardless, it all sounded
wonderful and so much damn fun. I couldn’t complain though, I had a
pretty good childhood myself… at least after my mother left.
“I haven’t seen them as much I’d like to.
I’ve been too busy working,” was all he said and he didn’t sound
happy about it. I didn’t push it.
Five minutes later he spoke. “Your Dad and
Gayle still livin’ up in New York?”
I missed my parents and tears stung my nose
at the mention of my dad and stepmom. Talking to them on the phone
a few times a week wasn’t enough. Shortly after I started college,
dad and Gayle moved to New York for business. With dad position,
Senior VP at Brammal Oil and Gas, they didn’t have much of a
choice.
Even though Dad and I had a rough time when
we left my birth mother, he made it work and never took the
difficulties of life out on me the way my mother had. He never let
the hard times of that first year show. Luckily, he didn’t have to
wait too long to find Gayle, who was the epitome of everything a
real mother should be.
Her inability to have children might have
played a role in why she became mother of the year, but I didn’t
care. She was amazing… homemade dinners, cookies, cakes and even
homemade ice cream growing up as a kid. She cuddled me when I was
sick, talked to me about boys, taught me how to wear makeup without
looking like a street walker... but more than anything, she helped
me get over the things my mother did to me; I never forgot, but she
made dealing with the past so much easier.