True Love (11 page)

“Can’t tonight,” she told him. All the way home, she pondered her situation. Julie had gotten a plum of a job without any effort. She was working with a good-looking college boy who was going to be around all summer. She was to be working with him all day, every day, for three solid months.

Grimly, Julie pulled into her driveway and hurried into her house. Her situation looked like a setup. And it had her mother’s fingerprints all over it.

She found her mother in the den, sorting through piles of papers. “How was your first day?” Patricia Ellis asked cheerfully.

“Did you know Mrs. Watson’s nephew is working at the library too?” Julie asked without preamble.

Her mother’s gaze avoided Julie’s. “I think she mentioned it to me. Is he nice?”

“I think he wants to date me,” Julie said boldly.

“Well, that might be fun. I’m sure he’d like to make friends—”

“Mother!” Julie interrupted. “How could you? Did you think I was going to fall into some other guy’s arms just because we were working together every day?”

Her mother looked startled. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You don’t let me drive to the mall without a third degree and yet when I told you some stranger you’ve never met wants to date me—which, incidentally, I made up—you say, ‘That might be fun.’ ”

Color stained her mother’s face. “Well, of course, I’d have expected you to bring the boy to meet your dad and me. What do you mean, you ‘made it up’?”

“I mean that I’m not interested in anybody
but Luke. No one is going to come along and make me forget him.”

“I never expected you to stop dating Luke, but I have noticed how things have cooled off between the two of you, and when Mrs. Watson told me about her nephew and about how he’s a journalism major at Ball State, I thought that maybe you’d like to get to know him. He can tell you a lot about college life, Julie. Ball State is a fine school, one you should apply to this summer.”

“I don’t believe this.” Julie felt furious. “I don’t believe you’re trying to sabotage my life.”

“Oh, really—”

“No, it’s true. Please hear me, Mother, once and for all. I don’t want to date anyone else but Luke. I
will
go to college and I
will
start applying in the fall. But this is summer vacation and Luke is sick and he needs me.”

“He certainly hasn’t acted much like it,” her mother fired back. “You sit home most of the time waiting for him to call.”

“Well, that’s about to change,” Julie said. She grabbed her purse from her mother’s desk and fished out her keys. “I’m going to Luke’s. Don’t wait supper for me.”

“Julie!” Her mother called.

But Julie wasn’t listening. She rushed out the door, jumped into her car, and sped across town to Luke’s house. She pounded on the door until he opened it. He looked shocked at seeing her. “What’s wrong?”

“That’s what
I’d
like to know, Luke.” Julie brushed past him and planted herself in the center of his living room floor. She crossed her arms and leveled her gaze at him.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he insisted.

“Guess again.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

She rolled her eyes in exasperation. “You sound like my mother.”

“What do you mean?”

“Never mind.” She glared at him. “You’ve been ignoring me for weeks, Luke.”

“No,” he said quickly. “I’ve just been giving you space.”

“Space for what?”

“
Space
. You know, breathing room.”

“Did I ask you for breathing room?”

He raked his fingers through his hair, which had grown to over an inch. “I don’t want to fight with you, Julie.”

“Good, because I don’t want to fight with you either.” She took a deep breath and held it. Finally, she said, “My new job is going to
work out fine. There’s a college guy working with me who’s really nice. He wants me to go out with him.”

“Are you?”

“I’m considering it.”

A flood of emotions crossed Luke’s face. “Please don’t.” His voice was scarcely a whisper.

“Why shouldn’t I? I mean, you’re giving me all this
space
. I can’t sit around doing nothing with it.”

He came to her in one long stride, threw his arms around her, and crushed her against his body. “Don’t, Julie,” he pleaded, sounding tortured. “Don’t leave me. I can’t make it without you.”

A
fter the way he’d been acting toward her during the past weeks, Julie was caught off guard by his impassioned plea. She said, “You
have
been avoiding me, Luke. And it hurts.” Tears welled in her eyes. Her anger was gone, but not her frustration.

Slowly, Luke released her. He took her hand and walked her to the sofa, where he sat her down and studied her face with his dark brown eyes, so intently that she thought she might drown in them. “Staying away from you hasn’t been easy for me.”

“Why would you do it in the first place? If you’re miserable and I’m miserable, why would you continue to ignore me?”

“That’s not what I was trying to do, Julie.” He sat next to her without releasing her hand.
“I—I really don’t know how to explain what I’ve been feeling.”

“Try.”

“It really bummed me out when the cancer flared up again and I had to start radiation. After I went through chemo, I thought it was finished. Instead, I discovered it had just begun. Dumb of me.”

“But this could be a fluke. Once you complete radiation, it’ll be gone for good. You’ve done it all—chemo and radiation. What’s left?”

“If this doesn’t do the trick,” he said quietly, “I’ll need a bone marrow transplant. If the cancer spreads to my bone marrow, there’s no other treatment.”

A chill frosted her heart and made her stomach tighten. She’d read enough and seen enough on TV to know that bone marrow donors were scarce, mostly because it was so difficult to find a compatible match. “You aren’t there yet,” she said emphatically. “And I don’t think you ever will be. Chemo and radiation will do the trick. You’ll see.”

“A lot will depend on how the tests turn out in Chicago. The scans and bone marrow aspiration will tell the story.”

“I know.” She squeezed his hand. “And
speaking of the hospital, why won’t you let me come with you? Why are you shutting me out?”

“Maybe because I’m worried the scans won’t be all right.”

“Don’t you want me with you if the news is bad?”

He looked vulnerable and terrified. “Yes. More than anything.”

“Then let me come.”

“I want you to have a regular life, Julie. You shouldn’t have to sit around hospitals and doctors’ offices waiting for me. Waiting to see if my life’s going down the toilet or not.”

“Luke, tell me, what’s a ‘regular life’? Dating someone else?”

He answered her question with one of his own. “Do you like this guy from the library? Do you really want to date him?”

“No way. But
you’re
not dating me either.”

“It’s because I hate tying you down.” He glanced at the floor, looking ashamed. “If I love you, I should want what’s best for you, and you didn’t sign up for having a sick boyfriend. You’re beautiful, Julie, and you should have more than I’m giving you. You should be going to parties and doing stuff that’s fun.”

Her heart went out to him as the reason for
his actions became clearer to her. “So you thought by avoiding me, I’d get interested in somebody else.”

“Yes.”

“But when I told you I might date somebody else—”

“I couldn’t stand it,” he blurted. “I love you so much it hurts. So you see, I’m not only sick, I’m a coward too.”

She eased off the couch, knelt on the floor in front of him, rested her palms on his thighs, and gazed into his face. “I hate what’s happening to you, Luke. I think it’s gross and unfair and horrible. But it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I still love you, and the feeling isn’t going away.”

The look he gave her reminded her of a drowning man miraculously thrown a lifeline. He caressed her cheek gently and she turned her head and kissed the inside of his palm. “I’m sorry, Julie. Sorry if I hurt you in any way. I only want what’s best for you, and sitting around waiting for me to get well doesn’t seem like something you should have to do.”

“But it’s what I
want
to do. And this time next year, when this is all over, being with you is still where I’ll want to be. This time next
year, you’ll have a college all picked out, and wherever you go, I’ll go.”

“But your mother—”

“Will live with it. I figure you’ll only take a scholarship to a great college, so she’ll be happy when I choose the same great college. No matter how you look at it, everybody wins.”

“
If
I get offered a scholarship.” Luke’s face clouded. “Who’ll want me, Julie? What college coach is going to take a chance on a quarterback who has cancer?”

“You’ll be well by then. And remember, my father’s on your side. He won’t allow anybody to reject you because of possible health problems.”

“You have more faith than I do.”

She patted his hand and rose. “One of us has to.”

He stood and took her by the shoulders. “When I go for my testing in two weeks, will you come with me?”

“Absolutely,” she said with satisfaction.

“And this guy at the library who wants to date you?”

“Is history.”

A slow smile spread over Luke’s face, making Julie’s knees go weak and her pulse flutter.
“Let’s go to a movie, and afterward get ice cream to celebrate,” he said.

“I’d love to. I missed dinner tonight.”

“Then I owe you,” he said. “I owe you big time.” Luke swept her into his arms and buried her mouth in a kiss.

Julie, Luke, and his mother made the trip to Chicago one warm morning during the last week of June. Julie held Luke’s hand while he stared pensively out the train window. She knew he was worried. The last time they’d made the trip they’d expected everything to be fine, but things hadn’t been fine. And now, after weeks of radiation, Luke had no assurances that he was rid of his cancer.

At the hospital, Julie and Nancy followed Luke from department to department throughout the long day of testing. They sat in cubicles and lounges, flipped through magazines, watched dull afternoon TV. The three of them ate lunch in the hospital cafeteria amid the clank and clatter of trays and silverware. No one ate much.

In the late afternoon, Dr. Kessler ushered them into his office. Julie’s palms were sweating and she felt sick to her stomach, remembering the last time he’d spoken to them and
dropped the bomb about the tumor. But today, he was all smiles.

“You’re looking good, Luke.”

“Really?”

“Thank God,” Nancy whispered, her voice trembling.

The CT and bone scan films were spread across the light board hanging on the wall behind his desk. “We won’t have the results of the bone marrow aspiration for a few days, but I don’t expect any surprises.”

Luke rubbed his hip, which was still sore from where the needle had been inserted to extract marrow for the test. “So I’m cured?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Julie’s elation did a stutter-step. “But if there aren’t any bad cells?…” she began.

“I prefer to think of your disease as in remission,” Dr. Kessler explained. “No two cases of cancer are alike, but the longer you remain in remission, the higher the probability that you’ll recover completely.”

A grin split Luke’s face. “I don’t care what you call it, I just want to be rid of it.”

“What do we do now?” his mother asked.

“Go home and have a great summer. I’ll see you in three months.”

Luke fairly sprang out of his chair. “Let’s
get out of here,” he said to Julie and his mother.

After good-byes to the doctor and staff and the scheduling of another testing day in September, they headed for the train station. This time, the ride back passed in a state of euphoria. This time, even though dusk was falling, the world zipping by the window looked bright and beautiful.

Once home, they decided against a party. But Julie’s father insisted on celebrating and took all of them out to dinner at a fancy restaurant on the outskirts of Chicago.

The dinner was perfect and her father couldn’t stop grinning and slapping Luke on the back and toasting him with pitchers of iced tea. Julie’s mother seemed equally happy over the news and Luke’s mother couldn’t take her eyes off her son.

“I knew you’d lick this thing,” Coach Ellis kept saying. “Can’t keep a good man down for long.”

Under the table, Luke slipped his hand into Julie’s, and when they returned to Waterton that night, he gave her six long-stemmed red roses—one for every week he’d isolated himself from her. She put them in a vase and fingered the petals tenderly. “You always can
get to me with flowers, Luke Muldenhower. They’re beautiful.”

“So are you.”

“I’m going to miss you when you go off to Los Angeles,” she confessed.

“I want to talk to you about that.”

She noticed that his eyes were glowing and realized he’d been guarding a secret. “What about it?”

“I called my uncle and told him that as much as I appreciated his offer, I couldn’t come.”

“No, Luke—”