I put my hand along the side of her neck and pull her to me, so I can look in her eyes.
“I want your body, Doc. I want it so fucking bad, I’m having fucking wet dreams about it. But regardless of what you think, I don’t have to buy a woman’s interest. What I’m feeling for you woman, is special. Today has been one of the best days I can ever remember having.”
“It has been for me too, Bull.”
“That has to mean something, right?”
“Can, we take it day-by-day?”
“That sounds good to me.”
“You’re wrong you know,” she says, licking her lips and I swear it’s all I can do not to attack her right there. How much is a man supposed to stand?
“What do you mean?” I ask, mentally apologizing to my balls.
“I’m starting to have a very good impression of you,” she whispers, leaning further into me.
Her tongue darts out and caresses against my bottom one. I suck it in briefly, then let it go.
“Are you trying to seduce me, Doc?”
“I think I might be,” she answers, and I let my thumb pet the pounding pulse point along the side of her neck.
“I’m not sure that’s a smart thing to do,” I warn her, because if she lets me in, I’m not letting her go.
“C’mon, Bull. Live dangerously,” she taunts and that seals her fate. The last thought I have before I take over the kiss, is this is when it
really
happens.
I’m not falling. I’ve fell completely. I’m gone over this woman.
AW
I got off
work to watch Skye today. I knew she would want me close. It was there in the look she gave me yesterday when we talked. She hides so much from the world, but I see it. I see it in her eyes. She needs me. I wasn’t prepared for
him
. He’s been panting after her for way too long. She won’t let him touch her. She’s too pure for someone like him.
I know it. It’s the one thing that drew me to her from the beginning. I just needed to make sure the time was right to make my move. You can’t rush connections like ours.
I go cold, as she bends over to hug her child. I don’t like that she has him. I almost decided to walk away when I found out. The more I was around her though, I came to realize that even she could make mistakes. I certainly did with my last choice. Skye is different. She will be forever. I will have to disperse of the child. That’s regrettable. He might be a good kid, but he can’t come between our love, Skye and I need time together. No one else around. Just the two of us learning the path to pleasure. I will need all of her attention for her training.
Mr. Kane will have to go and soon. He is distracting her. I know who he is. It wouldn’t be wise to alert his friends to me. But if he doesn’t back away, I may have to speed my plans up. I may have to take Skye away from all of the distractions and begin her training early.
My heartbeat thunders in my ears, and anger funnels through me, when he kisses her. That shouldn’t have happened. Skye should have known better. Now she will have to be punished before her training begins. I will have to break her.
I didn’t want it to be this way.
She left me with no choice
.
Skye
I
pull the
door until it’s just cracked after getting Matty settled, then walk back into the living room. Bull is sitting on my couch and he’s so big, he makes my streamlined couch look small. He also looks really good on it. Dang.
“Did you get him settled?”
“Yeah, he was completely worn out,” I tell him, standing in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do. It’s been such a good day, and I’ve really let my guard down with Bull, but now,
I’m nervous
.
“Come sit down, Doc,” Bull says, patting the couch beside him.
I take a breath and sit down. I worry about what to do when I get there. Do I sit on the edge and give us plenty of room, do I sit next to him? In the end, I didn’t need to worry. The minute I sit down Bull takes over. He pulls me so I’m lying against his side and we’re curled up. He has the television on and the volume turned down low, to an old black and white movie.
“You like old movies?” I ask him, watching the screen, but enjoying the way the heat from his body seeps into me.
“They’re okay. You don’t?”
“Honestly? Unless it’s Matty’s cartoons the television never comes on.”
“No television?”
“Nah. I like reading, or napping. Napping is always good.”
He flips the TV off and pulls me so I’m lying completely over top of him. His hand plays with my hair, relaxing me.
“I tell you what, Doc. You can nap on me anytime,” he says softly. I think if I let myself, I could drown in the dark pools of his eyes.
“Generous of you.”
“I thought so,” he laughs.
“I had a good time today, Bull.”
“I did too, Doc.”
“You’re different than I thought you would be.”
“Well given my track record you can’t have a good impression of me.”
“Umm…”
He smiles and gives me a squeeze.
“It’s okay, Doc. I didn’t exactly leave a good impression with you. I would like to explain, if you want.”
“The pills?”
“That’s what worries you the most?”
“Yeah. I mean, I know addiction is something you can overcome, but you can also go back to it, and I have Matty…I don’t want you to get mad at me Bull. But…” she starts, and then has to take a breath—I should have prepared myself, “I’d be lying if I said I’m comfortable about it.”
I’m afraid I’m hurting him and I don’t want to. But somewhere over the last few times I’ve spent with Bull, I’ve decided to take a chance…or at least try. If I do, then there are things I need to be open and honest with him about.
“We’ve talked about the attack and the headaches. I was having trouble dealing with the pain and tremors, I had just lost a woman I…cared about and I let her down…let my brothers down. Then, I lost someone I was in the service with. He wanted me to help him and I couldn’t, I chose my club because they needed me too. Hell, Doc the list just goes on…it was stupid. It all sounds like an excuse for someone who was weak. I don’t even know how or why it started.
It just did
. I can only promise you, I’m not that man now.”
“I’m sorry you went through all of that, Bull,” I whisper, letting my fingers brush along the side of his face. I can’t stop myself from placing a kiss on his chest, above his heart. He gives me another squeeze. Does he know that when he gets this look in his eyes it makes me want to hold him close, and make the sadness go away? “What was her name?”
“Carrie,” he says and it’s wrong—all kinds of wrong, but I find myself jealous over the woman who he lost. How old was she? She must have died young. I have a hundred questions about her, but they’re all selfish, and I don’t want him to talk about her. I selfishly don’t even want him missing her, so I concentrate on the other things he said.
“You said you chose your club? I don’t guess I really understand that much about your club, other than you seem close to them. Growing up my Dad was part of the Shriners, is it kind of like that? A place where men meet, let off steam, and do work for charity?”
His face gets the strangest look on it. He looks as if he is in shock. His body tenses up under me.
“Shit,” he mutters.
“Bull?”
“Skye you said you like to read. Haven’t you ever read anything about motorcycle clubs in your reading or something?
Anything?
”
“As a student and even now in my residency, textbooks and charts are about all I have time to read, why?”
Again that look comes across his face. I’m starting to worry. What exactly is this club? I mean, I’ve heard of big motorcycle gangs, criminals really, but it’s been glamourized for television, I’m sure. He can’t be part of that kind of group. Fear grips my heart. I have Matty to think of. Hell, I have myself to think about here. He can’t be part of a gang.
Can he?
Bull
F
uck! I didn’t
see this becoming a problem. I just assumed she knew about the Savage Brothers. I figured she knew what it meant. I already have two strikes against me with this woman. Will this be the fucking third? I’m scrambling, racking my brain, trying to figure out how to approach this.
“I live in a different world than you, Skye,” I start vague, because I’m not diving into what we do exactly.
I can’t
. Hell, no member tells his old lady the specifics in the first place, and in the second, as much as it kills me, I can’t trust Skye with information about the brothers right now.
“I’m starting to see that,” she says, and I nearly groan at this latest road block I have with Skye.
“I know you don’t have experience with the club world, but still you
must
have heard
something
about the Savage Brothers since moving here. Or hell, at least heard about motorcycle clubs enough to know the basics.”
“Not really. It’s never been a life I’ve had a lot of interest in. Though, something Melissa mentioned does stick in my mind. She said that I didn’t know how to satisfy you, that as club members her and the other girls…”
“That bitch is not a member of the club, Skye. She’s definitely not one of the girls the club keeps.”
“Keeps?” she asks, and I’m not sure what to make of her tone.
Again, I don’t really want to get into any of it. I could kill Melissa. Hell, Dragon might. Right now I need to worry about Skye. I don’t need to give her any other reasons to say no to me. I decide to tackle the thing that worries her the most right now.
“You’re worried about how many women I’ve had sex with, but it’s not exactly that many. It’s just…”
“You’re a man-whore?” she adds helpfully.
“The club keeps women, we take care of them—they take care of us. Mutual benefits I guess.”
She tenses up and fuck me, I wish I could take the words back.
“Take care? You mean you keep women just for sex? Like those BDSM clubs?”
I shake my head. Jesus. This shouldn’t be so hard. Did Dragon or Crusher have these problems? Hell, I don’t think Dance has clued Carrie into everything.
Maybe I should have followed his lead
?
“No, I mean they like our lifestyle. They work at the club, they entertain the men, keep us happy. Don’t get that look, Doc. The women want this life. They enjoy it. We live a hard life and hell, Skye…
It’s just the way it is
.”
Why does that sound so lame to my ears? I’m making a fucking mess of this.
“So you keep prostitutes?”
“They’re not prostitutes, Skye.”
“They give you sex in exchange for a home, food and money?”
“If you want to think of it like that, I guess you could. But that’s not what it’s about.”
“Whatever. So, you have club prostitutes and you go around and have unprotected sex with them anytime you want. Got it,” she says, and starts to pull away.
I hold onto her with a sigh. I can’t let her go.
“It’s not the way you’re making it sound, not really. And there are members of the club that have old ladies. Dragon is married now.”
“Old ladies?”
“Girlfriends—wives.”
“And how do these women feel about the club prostitutes?”
“They’re called Twinkies.”
“Excuse me?”
“Twinkies, that’s what we call them.”
“
Delightful
. So you name your prostitutes after snack cakes.”
“Skye.”
Fuck. I’m an idiot. Why did I decide to talk about this again?
“I think I’m about talked out, Bull. Maybe we could pick this up some other night,” she says, and I let her go this time, because maybe she’s right.
“Okay, Doc. When? I could come over tomorrow and…”
“How about half past never?” she says, getting up and walking towards the door.
I rub the back of my neck, because I’ve had pain there all day, but the thought of leaving here and letting Skye get away, not only increases my tension, it ramps up the headache. Listening to her describe my lifestyle causes a war inside of me. On one hand, I’m pissed off that she can’t appreciate the family I have, and on the other, I’m ashamed of the way she makes it sound. It’s not that way…
not really
…I just don’t know how to make her understand.
“Doc, I’m not explaining this really well. How about I take you to the club tomorrow evening when you get off work? You can meet Dragon, Nicole and some of the other members. If, after you see how they are with each other, you don’t like my lifestyle? I’ll walk away. I won’t push you.”
It hurts to say that, but it’s true. I want Skye, but I can’t give up my family. I need her to see what I do when I look at the club. Good people. Caring people.
A family
.
She stops and sighs, then asks me a question that I had somehow forgot we were discussing.
“Even if I do like your lifestyle, and let me warn you Bull, that’s like a huge ‘
what if
.’ But even if I do, that still doesn’t help us figure out where we go from here. You’re a recovering…”
I don’t want to hear her call me an addict. I can’t. I can’t hear those words from her lips. So I kiss her before the words can escape. Before she can deny me further, I take two large steps, and I’m there. Then, my lips are on hers, my tongue is in her mouth, her taste is inside me, my arms are full of her, and her hands are holding me. That’s all I want to concentrate on. My hands latch onto her sweet round ass, kneading it, and pulling her into me. She’s stiff, but still I take over her mouth, my tongue savors her, and I am lost in her. She softens, her hands go around me, and her nails bite into my back.
It’s a good kiss.
A fucking good kiss
. And when she moves restlessly against me, I break away to let my lungs take in air. Her face is flushed, and her lips are swollen. I didn’t shave this morning, and the stubble from my face has scratched her and I like it.
A hell of a lot
.
“If you like my club woman, all bets are off.”
“Bull, everything I know about addiction says you shouldn’t even think of starting a relationship for at least a year. Especially while you are in recovery.”