She held her hand up as she slipped her feet into gold flip-flops. “Please don’t explain. You’re a wealthy, handsome, single man. You can sleep with anyone you want. I don’t own you.”
But you do.
“In fact, I’m glad you told me about this,” she said, looking for her purse. “It helps put things into perspective for me.”
I jumped up, wrapping the throw around my waist and securing it. “What are you talking about?” I grabbed her shoulders, trying to force her to look at me. “This doesn’t change anything between us. It’s one stupid party. I only told you so you wouldn’t hear about it somewhere else. It’s bound to make the rags and—”
“So you wouldn’t have told me unless you had to?” When I didn’t respond right away, she shook her head. “I have to go.” She tried to pull free of my grip.
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this? Lana means nothing to me.”
“You
slept
with her.”
“So?”
She crossed her arms, looking torn between frustration and fury. “How many times?”
“What?” I swallowed, thinking there was no easy way to tell her I’d lost track.
“You heard me. Was it once, twice, twenty times?”
“We’ve been seeing each other on and off for a long time. It was a lot of times, I guess.”
She stumbled back, her anger replaced by hurt. “You’ve been seeing her a long time? How long? Months? Years?”
“It wasn’t like that.” I combed a hand through my hair, trying to find words that wouldn’t come. If the tables were turned and she was telling me she was going out with a man she’d been sleeping with for years, I’d feel the same way. “We both saw other people. There was no expectation of monogamy. We like each other. We have fun together. That’s all—”
“Well, I hope you have
fun
at her party.”
“Jesus, Maura.” I reached for her arm, feeling desperate to hold on. “Don’t leave like this.” I knew I couldn’t keep her there against her will. “Let’s talk about this.”
She reached into her purse and pulled out her keys. “Go enjoy your party. Just don’t expect your fuck-buddy to be here waiting for you when you get back.”
“If you don’t want me to go, I won’t.” I should have led with that offer, but Malcolm was a good friend, and I didn’t want to disappoint him. Now that seemed like a small price to pay.
“I don’t care what you do, Blaise.”
Chapter Six
I’d tried to see Maura before I left town, but she wouldn’t answer her apartment door and her receptionist said she’d gone out of town overnight to see a client. Maura ignored my text and voice mail messages, and I was at a loss as to how to get through to her. With every hour of silence that passed, my dread and fear grew until it was all-consuming.
Malcolm must have sensed it because he came up to me at Lana’s party and slapped me on the back. “You look like you just lost your best friend, boy. What’s that all about?”
“I’m having a bit of a personal problem. Nothing for you to worry about.”
He chuckled while swirling the ice cubes in his glass. “If your morose mood ruins my little girl’s birthday party, I’ll have to insist you tell me what’s going on with you.”
“It’s a woman.”
“I figured as much.” He glanced at his daughter, who was in the middle of the dance floor with a group of girlfriends. “I’m not going to lie—I’m disappointed. I thought you and Lana might eventually figure things out.”
“You know I think Lana’s great, but—”
“She’s not the girl of your dreams.” Malcolm sighed. “It’s okay, Blaise. As much as I hoped you would one day be my son-in-law, I know you can’t force these things. So tell me about this young lady who’s captured your heart.”
How could I describe Maura? “She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman and more.” I heard her laughter almost as though she was standing right beside me, and it made me smile. “She challenges me. She listens to me. She
gets
me.” I knew that was the basis of our connection. She understood the man beneath the mask. Her heart was aligned with mine. Our souls connected in a way that made me fear a life without her.
“I knew this day would come eventually,” Malcolm said, bringing the glass to his lips. “As long as I’ve known you, you’ve been looking for the other half to make you whole. You thought money would fill the void. I knew it wouldn’t, but I let you think it would.”
“Why?”
“Because you had to figure it out for yourself.”
“I have, but she won’t give me a chance to prove it.” I watched the people around me drinking, laughing, having a good time. My heart felt empty. The loneliness was suffocating. I didn’t want to be there without Maura. I didn’t want to spend another day without her.
“You’re not the type to sit back and whine about injustice, Walsh. Make things happen.”
“I can’t make her love me.” That realization settled over me like a boulder, crushing me. I was powerless, and I hated it.
Just as Malcolm was about to speak, my phone rang.
Maura.
I barely mumbled an “excuse me” to Malcom before I rushed to find a quiet spot. “Maura?”
“Hi, Blaise. I know this is a bad time, but—”
“No, it’s not,” I said quickly, praying she wouldn’t hang up. “I’m really glad you called. Is everything okay?”
“No.”
I heard the tremor in her voice, and it scared me. “What is it, angel? Tell me.”
“I saw the pictures.”
“What pictures?” My mind raced, trying to figure out what she was talking about.
“The pictures of you and Lana at the party.” Her voice broke. “You kissed her.”
I closed my eyes, sinking against the wall in the foyer of the grand ballroom. I wasn’t surprised someone had posted the pictures online already. The party was the social event of the season, and most of New York’s elite were in attendance, including dozens of reporters and photographers. “It was a perfunctory kiss, sweetheart. She’d just blown out the candles on her birthday cake.”
“I saw the way she looked at you in some of those pictures. She wants you.”
I couldn’t deny that. Lana had had a crush on me long before we hooked up, which was why I’d felt it necessary to continue reminding her that our relationship revolved around casual sex and would never evolve into more. I’d encouraged her to see other men and seek out her soul mate.
“Blaise?”
“Yes?”
“You’re not denying it.”
“No.”
“Are you going to…” She drew a shaky breath. “Sleep with her tonight?”
“Why are you asking?” I needed her to say she didn’t want me to. I needed to know she was as vulnerable as I was.
“This is so hard for me.”
Her voice was thick with emotion, and I was almost tempted to tell her she didn’t have to go any further. I understood what she was trying to tell me, but I needed to hear it. “What is?”
“Letting my guard down, especially with someone like you.”
My hand trembled as I gripped the phone. Fear. Anxiety. Dread. Jealousy. They were all emotions I’d suppressed years ago. I’d told myself there was no place for weakness in my life, no place for people who made me feel weak, but Maura was the exception. She was the air I needed.
“You scare me,” she said. “The way I feel for you scares me. I want to let you in, to let you be a part of my world, but I’m afraid if I do, you’ll become the center of it. Everything else will simply revolve around you.”
I understood her fears because now that I’d let her in, there was room for little else. My business took a backseat. Making money seemed pointless. Even clearing my name seemed less important than her. “I would never hurt you.” The lie tasted bitter. I had the power to shatter her life beyond repair with a few simple words.
Blaise Walsh is a lie. I’m really Matt Cooper… a fugitive.
“I want to believe that. More than you know.”
“I need to see you. Let me get them to fuel up my jet. I can be there in—”
“You don’t have to go to all that trouble.”
“Damn it, Maura,” I said, pushing off the wall. “I need to see you.”
“Just look up.”
My head snapped up, my eyes fixing on the image fantasies were made of. Her long blond hair was curlier than usual, falling in soft ringlets down her back. She was dressed in flats, faded jeans, and a black low-cut tank top, yet she still put every other woman in the place to shame.
I watched every man in the vicinity turn to stare at her as conversation ceased around us. A few stepped toward her, obviously intent on getting to know her better, but I was sweeping her off her feet before they could utter a word. I stole her breath with a kiss, killing their fantasies of taking
my
woman home.
“God, it’s so good to see you,” I whispered, burying my face in her neck.
She laughed, gripping my shoulder as I bent her back. “I’m glad you feel that way, but I think we’re making a spectacle of ourselves.”
“Honey, you were drawing attention long before I came along.” I kissed her again, a long, deep kiss that would have ended with shedding our clothes if we’d been alone. “I’m just making my point.”
She raised an eyebrow, looking amused when I fastened my hands on her hips, trapping her with the evidence of my arousal. “And your point is?”
“You’re mine.” I looked up to see a few men still watching us with mild interest. The others had taken my not-so-subtle hint. “But for those who are still hanging back, hoping to get you alone, let’s state that message a little clearer, shall we?” I scooped her up, cradling her against my chest as I walked to the elevator.
“Blaise, what are you doing?” she asked, gripping the lapels of my tuxedo. “Where are you taking me?”
“I have a room upstairs. Punch the button would you, angel? I’ve kind of got my hands full.”
She rolled her eyes as she pressed the up arrow, trying to avoid the curious stares of hotel patrons and party guests. “You can put me down now.”
“And risk you getting away again? Not a chance.” We stepped on the elevator, and I smiled at an elderly couple huddled in the corner. “Good evening.” I acted as though walking around with a beautiful woman in my arms was a common practice.
“Hello,” the lady said in a timid voice. Her brows drawn tight together, she tapped her husband’s arm. “Remember when you used to carry me like that, Harold?”
The old man chuckled, his brown eyes shining with amusement. “That was before my bad back. I haven’t been able to do that in years.” He winked at me. “Enjoy it while you can, sonny.”
I laughed, loving having Maura in my arms. I didn’t care what people said or thought. The only thing that mattered was that she was there because she’d decided she wasn’t ready to let me go. “I intend to, sir.” Stepping off the elevator on my floor, I said to them, “Have a good night.”
The man laughed, shaking his head. “I’d say the same to you, but I have a feeling you will.”
Maura covered her face with her hand as I walked us toward my room. “I can’t believe you did that. I’m so embarrassed.”
“Why?”
“Because… Oh, who am I kidding? Your caveman act is sexier than hell.” She whispered in my ear, “You got me all hot… and wet.”
“Reach in my pocket and get the key before I fuck you right here.”
She fanned her face with one hand while she slipped the other into my pocket. “Promises, promises.”
I watched her slip the card through the slot and turn the doorknob before I kicked it open. It slammed shut behind us before she slid to her feet.
I pinned her against the wall with my body. “I’m so pissed at you.”
She didn’t look concerned. She pushed my blazer off, letting it fall to the floor. “Why?”
“You made me crazy, lady.” I pulled her tank top over her head and tossed it toward the bed before cupping her lace-clad breasts. “I tried to see you, called, texted. You ignored me. I was going crazy wondering if you were ever gonna see me again.”
“I’m here now,” she said, unfastening my tie. “How about we stop talking and make the most of it?” She let my tie dangle from one finger as she whispered, “Hmmm, this reminds me of your creative uses for these things.”
“You want me to tie you up?” My voice was raw and rough, hinting at how close I was to losing control. “With. Fucking. Pleasure.” I unhooked her bra before throwing it over my shoulder. “I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’ll never think about doing this to me again.” I cursed when the zipper on her jeans stuck.
“What did I do to you?” she asked, her tongue tickling my ear.
“You know exactly what you did.” I pushed her jeans over her hips, the rough fabric abrading her soft skin. I might have felt bad if I wasn’t so desperate to be inside her. I ripped her thong apart at the seams and brought it close enough to our faces for both of us to smell her musky arousal. “You fucked me up.”
She looked at the shredded fabric. “How did I do that?”
“You made me believe you didn’t want anything more to do with me.” I grabbed her hands and fastened them behind her back with my tie. I stood back to look at her, naked and bound, her breasts quivering with every shallow breath. “I woke up thinking about you. I fell asleep thinking about you.” I traced a fingertip down her cheek. “Food tasted like sandpaper.”
“You weren’t the only one.”
I was gratified to hear it hadn’t been one-sided, but it would take a lot more convincing to prove she’d endured the same hell I had. “I want you on the bed.”
Without questioning me, she moved deeper into the room. She sat down, about to crawl back.
I stopped her, grabbing her ankle. “No. Stay right there. Don’t move.” I undid my buttons, thankful for the curtains that barely let a sliver of light in. Her eyes tracked my movements as I reached for my belt. “You want me, baby?”
Her tongue glided over her lush bottom lip as she nodded. “Oh yeah.”
“Hmmm…” The thought of her wrapping her lips around my cock was enough to do me in, but I was determined to make this night last forever. I wanted her awake all night, taking my cock in every imaginable position. “I’m not gonna let you sleep tonight. You know that, don’t you?” I rolled her nipple between my thumb and forefinger, smiling when she bit her lip. “I’m going to punish you for the way you tortured me, threatening to keep from me the one thing I can’t live without.”