Trying Not to Love You (2 page)

"You ready to go?" Hailey walked into my room without even knocking, disturbing me from my pity party.

"Yeah, just have to do my makeup." I grabbed the bag of make-up off my vanity that Mom and I had just bought yesterday.

"You are not wearing makeup Kenzie. You don't need that shit." Cooper said as he stood in the doorway of my room.

"Get out." I stalked over to the door and tried to shut it, but he blocked it with his foot.

"Dude, what are you doing?" I had heard Hunter's voice before I had even seen him.

I opened the door and crossed my arms. "I'm trying to shut my door, but jackass here won't move."

Cooper glared at me. "Give me the makeup Kenz and I'll leave."

"No." I yelled. "Get out."

"What the hell is all the yelling about?" Mason asked, standing behind Cooper and Hunter.

"She thinks she's going out with Hailey dressed like that, and wearing that shit on her face." Cooper answered Mason's question.

I threw my hands up in the air, walked over to my closet and grabbed my sandals. I didn't dressed any differently than I was any other day. I had on a tight fitting tank top and skinny jeans, my normal every day clothes.

Hunter put his hand on Cooper's shoulder, "Just leave her alone. Come on. Let's go down to the baseball field." Hunter was once again on my side, trying to deflect the problem.

"Nah, not until she gives me that shit."

"Oh my God, would you guys knock it off? We're only going to the movies. What's the freaking deal?" Hailey asked them.

Mason eyed Hailey, then me and said, "Fine, but we are going with you." Then he walked away and Cooper followed him.

Hunter looked at the bag of makeup and then eyed me. "You don't need that shit. You're beautiful just the way you are."

My breath caught; I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. Hunter tipped his head and followed Cooper and Mason. He had never called me that before. I didn't think I was beautiful, average, sure. I was shorter than most of the kids in my school, and even at fifteen, I was curvier than most of the girls. I had long, dark chocolate hair that cascaded down my back, eyes the color of the blue sky and pale skin dotted with freckles due to my Irish blood.

"Not on his radar, my ass." Hailey said, laughing at me. I am sure I was bright red.

At the end of that summer, Hunter was leaving for Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia. The day Hunter left was awful; all I did was cry all day long. Hunter stopped over and said goodbye to me before he left, which only made me cry more. I was going to miss seeing him every day, and secretly, I think he was going to miss me too.

When Hunter came back from school that year, I realized how smitten of him I had become. The day he came home for summer break, I was standing in the kitchen at my parents shore house, making a sandwich. Hunter walked through the door, and I nearly cut my fingers off when I caught sight of him. He was...so sexy. He seemed to have grown taller, and obviously, he worked out more. His shirt stretched tight across his broad shoulders, his sleeves pulled tight around his biceps. His hair was slightly longer than normal, and it had that sexy just rolled out of bed look.

He walked in and reached over my head, grabbing a glass out of the cabinet. I glanced over just as his shirt rode up slightly, revealing some kind of script tattoo. There was a star on his right elbow and skulls with flames covered his left arm.

After he grabbed the glass and filled it with water from the fridge, he came over and kissed the side of my head. "Hey CC."

"Those tats look good on you." I said, trying to keep my voice mild and even.

He grabbed a few chips from the bag I had left open on the counter. "I have more." He put the chips in his mouth then pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the counter. I almost fainted. His tan, muscular abs begged me to reach out and touch them. On his left side, starting under his arm, down his ribs and ending on his hip, in script read
Live Today As If You'll Die Tomorrow
. On his lower stomach, stretching from hip to hip, in the same script read
No Regrets
. I lifted my eyebrows and smirked at him; he smiled, shrugged his shoulders and turned around to show me a Celtic cross that took up most of his back.

"A friend of mine is working as an apprentice at a tattoo shop down by my house at school." Hunter explained.

"I like them." I padded over and grabbed my towel that was on the back of the kitchen chair. "I'll talk to you later; I'm going down to the beach." It was getting hot in here; I needed to stay away from him before I started pawing him.

Later that night, everyone was getting ready to go out to eat, but I did not want to go. I wanted to spend some alone time with Hunter. After talking to Hailey for a while, I decided I was finally going to tell him how I felt; I had to see if he had any feelings for me. I could not keep torturing myself like this.

I told my mom that I was going to stay home because I had an upset stomach. Hunter, always so quick to look out for me, told her he would stay home and would make sure I was okay. He did exactly as I thought he would do.

After everyone had left, I went upstairs into my room. I was lying on my bed when Hunter walked in, carrying a glass of ginger ale and some crackers.

"You should try to eat and drink this." He walked around my bed and put the stuff on the nightstand next to my bed.

"There's nothing wrong with me. I just didn't feel like going." I patted the bed next to me for him to come and sit. He didn't come over at first. He just stared at me, contemplating what he should do.

"It's probably not a good idea that I'm in here with you." Hunter said this as he sat down.

"Probably not, but no one is here." I sat up so my body was facing him, my knee touching his hip. He had a peevish look on his face. I reached over and slightly pushed his shoulder back to angle his body towards mine. I drifted closer to him, like a moth drawn to light and planted my lips on his.

When our lips melted together, I swear fireworks were going off somewhere in the distance. Hunter reached up with his left hand, and put it behind my neck, bringing me a little closer to him. He moved his right hand to my hip and started to lay me back on the bed. He hovered over the top half of my body. Then suddenly, it was as if someone pulled him off me. He was up pacing the room and raking his hand threw his hair.

Shocked by the sudden change, I asked, "What's the matter?"

He stopped pacing and had a sorrowful look on his face. He started pacing again, and then he finally said, "That shouldn't have happened."

"Hunter, you've known I've had feelings for you all these years. Why is it such a big deal?"

"You're brothers would freak the fuck out. Don't you remember how they acted the last time we kissed?" He made it sound as if that should answer all my questions.

I got up off the bed, straightened my shirt and walked in front of him, causing him to look at me. "Well, they'll just have to get over it." I took a deep breath--here goes nothing. "I want you Hunter."

His eyes went wide, "What! Fuck!" He was shaking his head back and forth. "No, this isn't happening. You can't. You fucking can't. You deserve someone better than me."

Well this was not going exactly as I had planned.

"I have to go." He announced and then, he was gone. When he walked away from me that day, a piece of my heart went with him. At least now, I had my answer even if it crushed me.

After that night in my room, Hunter acted as if it never happened. He was back to flirting with me but made sure we were never alone together. I was still hurt with the way things went down, but I guess I had to take what I could get from him.

When Hailey, Jaylinn and I went back to school that year, I started dating Dominic, whom I have known since kindergarten. Dominic was the exact opposite of Hunter; he was exactly what I needed, a distraction. He was shorter than Hunter, with a thin frame, shaggy blonde hair and honey brown eyes. He was always sweet, caring, and lovable, everything I wanted in a boyfriend. Dominic was the quarterback on our football team at school. All the girls wanted him, but he only had eyes for me.

When my brothers and Hunter came home for Thanksgiving weekend, they met Dominic since I had invited him for dinner. Dominic stood up to my brothers when they threatened him about dating me. Dominic never backed down from their threats though, as most guys would have.

Hunter hated Dominic. Anytime he saw us together, he would glare at Dominic and leave the room. When Dominic was not around, Hunter would flirt like crazy with me. I loved those times, but all Hunter would give me was just flirting. That is why I chose to stay with Dominic.

Summer was ending, and I would be heading off to college next weekend. This weekend, my best friend Hailey, Hunter's sister Jaylinn, and I were throwing a surprise 21st birthday party for my twin brothers. We were only a few days away from the party, and they knew we were up to something. My brothers were extremely protective of me since I was the baby of the family, and of course, the only girl. Dad instilled it in their heads at a young age that they were always to protect me. That made trying to plan something without them knowing near impossible, since they did not let me go anywhere without one of them or Hunter.

"Kenzie!" Mason yelled.

I jumped, dropped the shirt I was holding and my right hand flew to my heart. "Jesus, Mase you scared the shit out of me." I bent down and picked up the shirt I was trying to fold.

"What are you up to this weekend?" Mason leaned his shoulder against the laundry room door.