Read Trying Not to Love You Online

Authors: Megan Smith

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Coming of Age, #Health; Fitness & Dieting, #Relationships, #Love & Romance, #Romance, #New Adult & College

Trying Not to Love You (21 page)

Dominic's mom looked up from the book she was reading; she took off her glasses and excused herself from the room.

"Good luck." Dominic's mom said to me on the way out.

Dominic looked out the window, turned to look at me and then turned his head back to the window. Maybe I shouldn't have come.

I walked to the other side of Dominic's bed and pulled up the chair that was by the wall. He looked completely defeated.

We sat there for a few minutes. He stared out the window and I stared at him. I really had no idea what to say to him. He must have just been thinking of what he wanted to say because he spoke up.

He looked from the window to me. "I'm sorry MacKenzie. I didn't mean for this to happen to us. I never wanted to hurt you. You were my everything."

"I know." I said, barely above a whisper.

"When I left home, I was so excited to be on my own and with you in the same building every day. As the first few weeks passed, things changed. I started drinking almost every day, and going to parties with the guys. I didn't really think about anything other than that. Being a football player, the girls just kind of flocked to me. They threw themselves at me and would do anything to be with me. I got careless. Brittany started flirting with me one night at one of the parties, and I let things get out of hand. The night I was supposed to come to your brothers' party was the day I woke up with Brittany in my bed. I didn't even realize what I had done until the next morning. That's what took me so long to show up; I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't let you down again by not showing up so I made the drive anyway. I beat myself up the whole way home for what I had done, and then I got to the shore house and we couldn't even be alone. That just made me even madder. Then, you were finally on campus and in my room. I thought everything was going to be fine. When Brittany showed up, I knew it wouldn't take you long to figure it out."

I nodded my head, agreeing with him because that was when everything started falling apart for us.

"I told her it couldn't happen again. She was pissed and said I was only using her. She's the one that left the panties in my room. She caught Tommy on the way out and he let her in. She knew you had my car because I had seen her earlier that day and she had asked me to give her a ride somewhere."

Sneaky bitch.

"I freaked out on her that day and I hadn't talked to her since. When you said you needed your space, I knew I had to give it to you or I would lose you. During our time apart, I realized what I had and I wanted you…forever. That is when I realized I wanted to marry you. I figured if I could get you to agree to marry me, then we could get over what I did."

How could he think that? Did he think I would just look the other way?

He reached over to tilt my head up to look at him. "When I showed up at that party and she told me she was pregnant, I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I didn't even care about my football career anymore; all I cared about was you. I knew I had hurt you and that was the last thing I had wanted. You were always there for me, cheering me on."

The tears started. As much as I had wanted to come in here and be strong, I couldn't help them anymore.

He grabbed my left hand and rubbed his thumb of my ring finger. "I still love you MacKenzie. I think I always will, but I know I need to let you go. I know you are in good hands. Just look what those hands did to me." He said with a chuckle.

I laughed; yeah, I was in good hands all right. I just hope they wanted me as much as I wanted them.

"I love you too Dominic. I hope everything works out for you." I stood up and placed a kiss on his forehead.

I walked to the waiting room and told mom I was ready to go. She looked up, smiled at me and said, "Let's go home."

When we got back to the house, Mason, Hailey and Hunter were there. We got his truck all packed up with our stuff and said goodbye to everyone. I was going to miss being here and miss Alex too; winter break was only few weeks away, so I would get to see everyone soon.

Arriving back at the dorms was gloomy; I didn't really want to be back here. It brought back too many memories.

Hailey sighed behind me; she must have been thinking the same thing. "Do we really have to stay here?"

Hunter looked at her through the rearview mirror and then back at me. "You guys can always stay with me. You know Bentley doesn't mind."

"You would be ok if we stayed the night?" I asked. I wanted to make sure this wasn't too much, too soon.

"Of course, or I wouldn't have offered." He leaned over and whispered, "I get you in my bed. I'd be a damn fool not to want you to stay with me."

Hailey groaned from the backseat, "Will you two please knock that shit off."

I laughed at her. She was just jealous that Mason wasn't here. "Ok, let's go to your house."

Later that night, Hunter got Hailey all set up in the spare room since no one was using it. I took a long hot bath. I had my iPad playing music, a candle Hunter had lit and a glass of wine next to me, just relaxing.

Hunter knocked on the door before coming in; he walked over to the tub and kneeled down beside it. He bent down and captured my lips. When our lips touched, the sparks were flying again.

I pulled back and he moaned. "Get in with me?" I should feel nervous since I was naked in front of him but I wasn't.

He didn't move at first. I was expecting him to fight me but then he stood up and started stripping out of his clothes. Hunter had no reason to be ashamed. His body was perfect, all the way from his perfectly messy hair, his defined chest, his abs to that v between his hips. He was watching me rake my eyes up and down his body. I felt the flush reaching my cheeks, but he was too sexy for his own damn good.

Smirking at me with those bright blue eyes of his he said, "See something you like?"

"What is there not to like Hunter? You are absolutely gorgeous."

When he stepped into the tub, I sat up slightly so that he could sit behind me. Oh God, maybe this was not such a good idea. Once Hunter settled in, he reached for me and pulled me back against his chest. I moaned at the contact of our skin.

We sat there for a while, maybe a little unsure of what the other wanted. Hunter took the lead by helping me sit up. He reached behind him to grab the body wash, poured some in his hands and started washing my back. He rubbed circles from my neck all the way down my back to my ass. I whimpered a little when he stopped, but then he pulled me back against his chest again and started the same process again on my front. He caressed my shoulders, and paid special attention to my breasts, lightly pinching my nipples. When he did that, I arched my back at the sensation. Sliding his fingers up and down my stomach, I shifted my hips and tried to get him to go down further to the spot I wanted him the most.

When my hips shifted, I heard him take a quick breathe. He grabbed my hips to keep me in place. "CC, don't move baby."

I whined, "Please Hunter, I need you to touch me. This is killing me."

He shook his head and said, "Not tonight babe. You're not ready."

Not ready, is he kidding? I was more than ready.

He kissed my shoulders and neck for a few minutes before he reached down, let the water out of the tub and then turned the shower on. He helped me rinse the soap from my body and helped wash my hair. As much as I wanted Hunter to touch my middle, he never did.

I grabbed the body wash and started massaging Hunter's body. He had me so worked up, that if I couldn't get him to touch me, than I planned to make sure he was just as worked up as me. I started at his broad shoulders, moved down his pecs and then traced his well-defined abs with my fingers before following the V between his hips. I stopped and looked up, meeting his hooded eyes.

He looked so intense that I knew he would not stop me so I took my chances. I wrapped my hand around his length. His head fell back, and a hiss escaped through his teeth. I stroked him a few times before I continued down his legs and then back up and I washed his hair.

We dried each other off and Hunter gave me one of his shirts to sleep in. We climbed in bed and fell fast asleep, cuddled in each other's arms.

I could only hope that whatever was going on between us lasted, but for now, I would take anything he would give me.

Three weeks have passed since Hunter kissed me in the rain on Thanksgiving and things have been blissful, perfect really. Hunter and I have practically been joined at the hip. Christmas was a little less than a week away and I was looking forward to going home. I wanted to spend time with my family, especially baby Alex. Chloe, Jackson and my mom were always texting me cute little pictures of him.

More importantly, I couldn't wait to get away from school and spend some alone time with Hunter. We only saw each other when we are on our lunch together during the week and on Sundays. He worked nights at the bar every night except Sunday and I worked Monday thru Thursday night at the library. Hailey still hung out with Zeke, so he kept us entertained when Hunter could not.

On the Friday before we headed home, Hailey and I decided we were going to go out. We asked a couple of girls that we were friends with if they wanted to come along too. Hunter and Zeke both had to work that night and they expected wall-to-wall college kids at the bar because winter break had officially started.

Hailey and I headed out to grab a cab to take us to the bar. As the cab pulled up to the curb, I noticed a couple fighting in the parking lot. I thought it looked like Brittany and Logan, but I pushed that thought from my head.

The line to get into the bar wrapped around the side of the building, so Hailey asked the cab driver to drop us off at the door instead of the side where the line ended. The girls and I got out and made our way to the door where I was sure Hunter or Zeke would be. Hunter spotted me the second I was in his view, and a shit-eating grin spread across his face.

He motioned me over with his head. I looked at the girls. They all started giggling except for Hailey, who just rolled her eyes.

Hunter stood up from the stool he was sitting on and half hugged me. I don't think he was even supposed to do that. "CC, what are you doing here?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "The girls and I wanted a night out, so what better place to come then here?"

He looked behind me and said, "Hey girls, give me your hand and I'll stamp you in."

Gracie, Hailey, Zoey and I had our hands stamped and we made our way into the bar. As I walked past Hunter, I heard him radio someone that we were here and to keep an eye on us.

After dancing for a little while, we went to the bar for a drink. Hailey and I planned to order a soda since we were not old enough to drink, but the bartender shook her head and looked towards the door. She didn't ask us what we wanted; she just made the drinks and set them down in front of us. I started pulling money out of my clutch and again, she just shook her head at me again and, looked at the door.

I heard Hailey clear her throat from beside me, and then she nudged me with her elbow and tilted her head to the right. There at the end of the bar were Brittany and Logan. What in the hell was she doing here?

"Hails, isn't that Logan? What's he doing with Brittany?" Gracie asked.

"Yeah, and I have no idea and I don't really care." Hailey responded back to her.

"I thought Britt was pregnant? Why in the hell would she be here?" Zoey asked.

I just shrugged my shoulders. I was not here to worry about Brittany and Logan. I grabbed Hailey's hand and started back towards the dance floor. While Hailey and I danced around the floor with Gracie and Zoey, Hunter came in to stand near the bar. Having reached maximum capacity, they weren't letting anyone else in the bar tonight.

Hunter stood there and watched my every move, so I decided to tease him a little and give him a show. I grabbed the guy that had tried to dance with me all night and started grinding on him, throwing my head back, and crawling up and down his body with my own, while I looked straight at Hunter.

He had to work, so there was nothing he could do to stop me. The guy I danced with must have noticed me staring at Hunter because he asked, "Is that your boyfriend? He's been eye fucking you all night."

"Nope." I told him as I turned him and circled around his body until I could get Hunter back in my view.

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