Authors: Toni Aleo
Fallon raised an eyebrow because she was confused. If he had only been sober four years, what happened to the other one? As if he knew what she was thinking he said, “I don’t count that year I was in rehab, I had to be sober to be in there.”
Fallon shook her head, it was just so unreal. “I never wanted to hurt you Fallon. I loved you, so much, but it was bound to happen. I was bound to fuck up, I was too far gone.”
Fallon shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know what to say.”
“There really isn’t anything you can say. I just wanted you to know what happened, why I did it. I don’t remember anything from that night. I only remember a little of our fight afterwards.”
Fallon tried to process what he had said. Then she looked up, her lips wobbling as she asked, “Could I have helped?”
Lucas shook his head. “No baby. I was too far gone.”
Tears sprang to Fallon’s eyes. She had spent the last seven years thinking she had done something wrong — that she had made him cheat — when really he was messed up. He was sick and she should have known. There had to have been signs or something telling her that he was suffering. Did she not ask? Was she that blind?
“Talk to me baby, tell me what you are thinking,” Lucas said, taking her hand in his. She looked down at their hands before looking up at his face.
“I feel like I failed you in a way. I should have known.”
Lucas started shaking her head before she even got the sentence out. “I hid it. No one knew. I was 18 years old with vodka in my Gatorade bottle on the bench; no one suspected anything from me. They babied me because of my dad dying. You can’t feel like you failed me. You didn’t baby, I failed you.”
Fallon felt like she couldn’t breathe and she fumbled with the words she wanted to say. She still wasn’t processing what he was saying, it all seemed so unreal. “I was so blind.”
Lucas scrunched his face up. “I don’t think so.”
“No, I was. If I was actually paying attention, I would have seen your pain. I was too busy having fun, drinking along with you,” Fallon said right as the tears started to fall. “I didn’t do anything but make it worse.”
Lucas shook his head before pulling her into his lap and cupping her face to bring it up so he could look into her eyes. “No. No. I don’t even understand how you think this is your fault.”
“I don’t think it’s my fault, I just feel like I should have helped you.”
“Why? I hid it from you, how could you help me when you didn’t even know?”
“I thought I knew you from your inside out, and I didn’t. I still don’t even know how your dad died. It’s like I didn’t know anything.”
“You knew the real me, the other me didn’t come out until I was away from you. I didn’t talk about my dad then because it hurt too badly. I’ve had help; I can openly talk about him and not feel like everything is ripping apart inside me. I was myself when I was with you. You made me a better person Fallon, you have to understand that.”
Fallon shook her head, letting it fall into her hands as the tears fell. She cried for him and she cried for herself. It was as if their whole relationship was going on as a movie in her head. As she replayed it, she tried to point out when she could have helped him, but he was right. He hid it well. Lucas sat beside her, running his hand up and down her back as she cried. For the billionth time, she replayed the night she found him with Allison. He was disorientated and he did slur a little but she was so mad. There was no way she was would have listened to him, but if she had, would they be where they are today?
Lucas shook his head again. “Not then, but now there is.” Lucas moved his hands along her face, leaning his head against hers. “I’m telling you all this not to make you feel bad or wish that you would have given me a chance before, because really, you leaving helped me more than anyone will ever know. That is why I’m not mad at you for taking Aiden from me, because honestly would I have been the man and father that you and Aiden deserved then?”
Fallon’s tears ran over his hands onto their laps as she shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Well I do, and I don’t think I could have been. I needed the wakeup call of you leaving, I needed the rehab, and I needed the years without you, because now that I have you I don’t want to ever let you go. I am not that person Fallon anymore, I don’t get mad the way I did before — well on ice I do, but not off it,” he said with a grin. “Fal, I will never hurt you again, and if you give me a chance, I’ll prove it to you.”
Fallon looked out at the ocean since she couldn’t take the look in his eyes. They were so bright, so full of hope and Fallon couldn’t handle it. She wanted to wrap him in her arms, tell him that she loved him. That she believed him. She was so scared though. But didn’t she owe it to him? He was sick and she didn’t do anything, but she didn’t know.
Fallon nodded. “Let’s just get through today and we’ll discuss what will happen later. I just want to enjoy what we have right now.”
He smiled against her cheek. “I do too, but I want more.”
“I know. I just don’t know if I can give it to you.”
Lucas’ eyes closed as he took in a deep breath. How he wished he could change the past so Fallon would trust him. He would give anything probably because at that moment, he had never felt so complete in his life. It was him and his girl, on the beach they had basically lived on before. All they needed was Aiden, running through the waves and maybe Audrey, laughing about something. Everything would be perfect then.
He didn’t understand what else he had to do to get Fallon to trust him. He had told her everything. He had shown his heart to her, and basically begged for another chance. She had agreed to the weekend, so maybe he needed to keep on. Maybe it was about baby steps with her.
“Oh hush, come on,” he said, taking her hand in his. She smiled over at him and they walked the short distance to the house in silence. He felt better telling her everything about his past issues, but he thought it would end differently than it did. He thought she would want him back, that she would forgive him but nope. Maybe he didn’t deserve it. Maybe he was supposed to live in the state of torture of wanting someone and something that he didn’t deserve. Maybe Fallon would always be at arm’s length and until he proved that she was the only one, he would only be able to want her.
Lucas and Fallon spent the afternoon in bed watching old movies and not keeping their hands to themselves. He had forgotten how hot Fallon could be, and how with one look she could have him begging for her kisses and touches. With every simple touch between them, he fell more in love with her and it was amazing to do it all over again. He thought he loved her before, but now, he couldn’t fathom ever loving anyone more.
Fallon was his person.
As Lucas stood tying his tie, he couldn’t wipe off the stupid grin that sat on his face. It had been so long since he had felt completely free. Fallon knew everything and she was still sticking around for the rest of weekend. That had to mean something. Lucas finished tying his tie before looking himself over. He should have shaved but Fallon liked the scruffy look. His hair was a little of a mess but again, Fallon liked it like that. What didn’t look messy was the expensive Italian suit he wore. It was an impeccable black, fitted suit and he looked like a million bucks in it. He paired it with a shiny gray tie, hoping that it brought out his eyes since they were Fallon’s favorite thing about him.
Lucas nodded his head at his appearance just as he heard the bathroom door open. He turned at the sound of Fallon’s heels and was stunned when his eyes settled on her. She looked gorgeous in her bright white tube top dress. Her legs went for days and ended at a very naughty pair of zebra print platform heels. Her hair was down in curls and her makeup was done up to the nines.
She was mouthwatering.
“Jeez, Fal, I’m supposed to go out with you looking like that?” he asked, coming towards her. He couldn’t help himself; he had to have her in his arms. She smiled brightly as he gathered her in his arms, kissing her glossed up mouth.
“I could very well say the same about you, Mr. Brooks.”
Lucas gave her his sexiest grin before kissing her again. “We have to leave huh?” he asked, his hands running slowly over her ass and up the back of the dress.
“Yes!” she gasped, smacking his hands away. “I was promised food and dancing, darn it!”
Lucas chuckled as he reached for her again, pressing her into his growing erection. “I’m pretty sure I can find something for you to eat here. I just want to eat you.”
Fallon giggled breathlessly as he nibbled up her throat. “How about we go eat some real food, then our dancing can be our foreplay and we’ll come home where dessert will be served.”
“In the form of you, right?” he asked, his dick getting harder with just the thought.
“But of course,” she said breathlessly. “I need you to stop, or we’ll never leave.”
Fallon pushed herself away from him as she laughed. He watched as she went across the room to her bag, digging in it for something. He smiled when she glanced up at him before saying, “That was my plan though. To never leave.”
Fallon gave him a sexy little smirk before saying, “I know.”
Oh, yeah. They weren’t going to be out long.
Twisted Eats was the best restaurant in Palo Alto and one of Lucas’ favorites. The ambiance and the food were to die for but most of all, Lucas loved the privacy. Each table sat in a pod, and no one could really see in it in unless they walked up to the table and looked in. It was very futuristic and Lucas couldn’t have been more pleased, since he needed privacy when it came to sitting with Fallon. He couldn’t keep his hands off her, and he didn’t really want to share her with anyone. She looked stunning and Lucas didn’t feel like beating anyone’s face in that night. He wanted the perfect evening with Fallon. He wanted to give her the night of her life. He wanted to show her that it could be like this for them all the time.
If she gave him the chance he needed.
Fallon was snuggled up close to him as they looked out at the large dance floor. His hand rested on her upper thigh as they watched people dance to the amazing club music.
“This place is sick,” Fallon gushed as she looked over at him. “It’s so loud outside of the pod-thingy, but inside it, it’s just me and you.”
She pressed her lips against the side of his mouth before sliding out the booth. “Baby you look good all the time,” he said before she reached the end of the booth.
She giggled before saying, “You’re biased.”
Fallon gave him once last smile before getting out the booth and walking away. As he watched her ass sway from side to side, he couldn’t help but agree with her. He may be biased, but he had damn good reason for it.
Fallon was smoking hot.
Fallon was feeling pretty amazing.
Not only was she looking spectacular in the dress Audrey sent with her, but Lucas was making her feel like a princess. She hadn’t thought about the past or the future for the last hour and she loved it. Not having the constant doubt or the never-ending fear in her mind was refreshing and plus, she loved spending time with Lucas. It was easy to get caught up in the moment with him. Especially with no worry about what he would do when they were apart. It was just him and her. No one else in the world could take either of them from each other. It was her fantasy and she was going to enjoy it before having to go back to reality tomorrow.
After doing her business she walked out of the stall and went to the marble vanity to wash her hands. Once she was done, she opened her purse to take out her powder and lipstick. A small smile stayed on her face as she reapplied and made sure she was perfect. Lucas had done nothing but make her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in the world. With his constant need to touch her and his feather-like kisses, the least she could do was make sure she looked good for him.
Fallon looked down, washing her hands again as another stall opened and a person came towards the sink. Out the corner of Fallon’s eye she noticed that the woman was very pregnant, and a smiled came across her face. She looked up to ask the woman how much longer she had, but the words became lodged in her throat.