Twelve Days in December: A Christmas Novella (11 page)

William spoke up from across the breakfast table. “We must continue to pray for them both, that they will find each other and be as happy as we are.” He exchanged a look with Charlotte, as if to remind her of the barriers they had crossed last night. He had not kissed her, as he had said that he wanted to, but she knew it was only a matter of time before he did.

Before I truly betray Matthew.
When dancing with William last night her path had seemed so clear. They were married, and she cared for him. What was wrong with allowing their feelings to progress? But with the rising of the sun and the snuggly little boy who more and more resembled his father, Charlotte had felt herself sinking into the despair of turmoil once more. How was she ever to be faithful to both Matthew and William?

Lady Cosgrove remained mostly silent during this exchange and the duration of breakfast, but shortly afterward, she visited Charlotte in her room.

“You do realize what you have been given, don’t you?” Lady Cosgrove marched past Charlotte, still standing in the doorway, and sat in one of the chairs before the fire.

“Yes.” Charlotte closed the door. “I do recognize that I am most fortunate to be here— to be married to William, to have my child and myself provided for. To attend balls and dinners, to dress in fine clothes and live in a grand house. I have lived without all of that, so I do understand its worth.”

Lady Cosgrove clucked her tongue. “I was not speaking of those things. They are all well and good, and believe me, I enjoy them. But I was speaking of your husband— of Mr. Vancer and the way he cares for you. To love and be loved is the greatest blessing.”

“Coming from one who tried to deprive two people of that very blessing, I find your sentiment somewhat unbelievable.” Charlotte still could not forget the hurt done to Marsali; neither had she forgotten the way Lady Cosgrove had offered Charlotte herself up as a bride, without even consulting her first.

“Bah.” Lady Cosgrove waved a hand in front of her face. “I did not believe Marsali and Mr. Thatcher were truly
in
love. They had known each other such a short time.”

Not that short.
Charlotte set about picking up Alec’s blocks. He would return from breakfast soon, and then the blocks would be scattered about the room once more; but until then, they provided her with something to do.

“Mr. Vancer has fallen in love with you,” Lady Cosgrove said. “And it is plain to see that you love him as well.”

“I don’t,” Charlotte refuted swiftly. Then more softly, “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Lady Cosgrove demanded.

Charlotte changed topics. “Did you know William had been betrothed to someone before Lydia?

“You mean that woman in England?” Lady Cosgrove did not seem the least concerned.

England?
“No. She is here,” Charlotte said. “Last night I overheard her bragging about eloping with another man the day she was to marry William.”

“Astonishing,” Lady Cosgrove murmured. “I had no idea. I knew that he had been betrothed some years ago, when he was still living in England. They planned to marry and immigrate to America.” She turned in her chair to better see Charlotte. “I don’t know how much William has told you about his family, but he is the fifth son of a baron— and as such stood to inherit very little and had limited choices for employment. He was not content with this lot and so had saved up to pay for both his passage and his fiancée’s. Then came the day they were to marry and sail to America, and she changed her mind. He went alone.”

Charlotte placed the last of the blocks in the crate where they belonged, then sat on the bed and leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands. “Then that means that four times he has lost a fiancée— for one reason or another.”
No wonder he acted as if he expected me to change my mind about marrying him.

“I am glad you were not the fifth.” Lady Cosgrove stood abruptly. “I am fond of William. Our families go back a long time. He is a good man, and I should like to see him happy.”

“I am doing my best,” Charlotte said.

Lady Cosgrove crossed to the door but did not open it. “You are not doing any such thing but are holding yourself back from him.”

“Of necessity,” Charlotte insisted. “I
do
care for him.”

“Then show it,” Lady Cosgrove snapped. “Let your dead husband rest in peace, and honor his name and memory by loving again.”

Charlotte lifted her head. “It is not so simple.”

“I know it isn’t.” Lady Cosgrove’s tone softened. “But easier for you than Mr. Vancer. He is the one who has been continuously rejected. You, on the other hand, were blessed with a loving relationship.”

“Precisely what makes this so hard,” Charlotte insisted.

“Not so.” Lady Cosgrove shook a finger at her. “Think of how you loved your first husband. Had something happened to you, would you want him to be alone— to raise your son alone— the rest of his life?”

“Of course not.” It would have been impossible for Matthew to care for Alec and work every day at the mill. And who would have cooked for them, washed their laundry
…
cared for and loved them?
Charlotte swallowed uncomfortably.

“Mmm. Hmm.” Lady Cosgrove nodded her head, as if following Charlotte’s thoughts. “Can you honestly believe that
he
would want you to be alone? Or would he wish you to be cared for, happy— loved?”

“I don’t know,” Charlotte lied. She knew Matthew better than that, knew how selfless he’d been and that, no matter what, he would want the best for them, for she and Alec.

“It’s a hard thing asked of us. I’ve been where you are, and I remember,” Lady Cosgrove said kindly. “But I also know that having loved before, you can again. Look to the future, Charlotte and the gift that has been given you.”

December 31

Their magical twelve days were over. It was time for William to return to work, to refocus his efforts on expanding Vancer Furs, to get back into his normal routine.

Three things he had no interest in or intention of doing— at least not as they had been done before.

“Checkmate.” Instead of sounding smug that she had beaten him for the third time in as many days, Charlotte somehow managed to sound humble. “Thank you for the game. You are improving quite rapidly.”

“Having someone to play with makes quite a difference in that.” William stood, then walked around the table to assist Charlotte. But instead of pulling her chair out right away, he placed his hands on her shoulders and began rubbing gently. After a few minutes he felt her body relax. “That’s better,” he murmured.

He pulled the chair out and helped her up but did not release her hand, leading her with him over to the picture window. Snow was falling again, huge white flakes twinkling in the lamplight outside.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

He found the lowered volume of her voice telling and put his arms around her, while encouraging her to lean into him as she had once before. This time she did not hesitate, but complied at once, sighing as she did.

“What was that for?” he asked. Not a sigh of frustration or resignation or despair, he hoped.

“It was a sigh of contentment,” Charlotte said. “I am perfectly happy and content with my life.”

Also not what he wanted to hear.
“Don’t you ever want— more?” he asked boldly.

“Only since the night we danced.”

It took him a second to register her response and what appeared to be a confession. He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around, so he might look into her eyes.

“Charlotte—”

“You have been so patient, William.”

“I have not,” he said.

“All right, you have not.” They laughed together.

“How were we to know?” he asked her, continuing their dance of words around the

unspoken topic of their deepening feelings for one another.
Our love
.

“We weren’t.” Charlotte placed her hands on the front of his shirt. “Miracles are like that, I suppose.”

He prayed he was reading her right. “I don’t want to take anything away from your past.”
But I want you to be my future.

“You won’t.” She smiled, and he recognized the look of serenity that he had glimpsed in her the morning they were married. “I know that now. Matthew first taught me how to love, but you have reminded me where to find it.” Her hand slid to cover his heart.

“I have found myself in you, my purpose.” William bent his head closer to hers as she raised up on her tiptoes.

“We both have.” Those were the last of her whispered words before his lips covered hers in a meeting of sweetest caring and newly awakened passion. A minute later, when he pulled back to look at her, he was dismayed to find tears hovering in the corners of her eyes.

“Please don’t cry. I’ll stop,” he promised, though he felt it might kill him to do so, to leave her and go off to his bed alone.

“Oh no you won’t.” She scrunched her fingers around the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer again. “Just as I promise to never leave and to never stop loving you.”

William’s heart raced. He had told her once— just days earlier— not to speak of such emotion unless she meant it. The tender look in her eyes was not one of gratitude, but finally of something deeper, of commitment yes, but more than that he read desire and longing and joy in their depths, and it filled his soul with hope.

Behind them the clock struck midnight, ushering in the New Year. William saw to it that they kissed for the duration of the chimes.

Charlotte’s cheeks were pink and her lips plump when he finally drew back. “Happy New Year, Mrs. Vancer. My love. ”

“For it to be as happy as possible—” Charlotte paused, a mischievous smile curving her lips. “I believe you should take some time off from work. What would you say to fifteen days— in January?”

A final note,

Thank you for reading
Twelve Days in December,
a companion novella in the Hearthfire Historical Romance series. The next novel in this line is set in Scotland during the late 1700s and revolves around the lives of twin brothers who are facing the difficulties of the Highland Clearances following the failed Jacobite uprising of 1745. Watch for previews and teasers on my
website
in coming months.

New this month, also from Mirror Press, is the
Timeless Regency Collection: A Midwinter Ball
.
This volume features three novellas by three authors— Annette Lyon, Heidi Ashworth, and myself— all centered around a midwinter ball.

I am equally excited to be one of the twelve authors involved in the
Matchmaker series
. Watch for the prequel novella this November and the twelve full-length romance novels to follow, one each month in 2016.

So many wonderful things to look forward to! Thank you for being a part of those. I continue to appreciate those who take the time to read my stories and those who post reviews as well. You make it possible for me to continue doing what I love.

If you would like more information about my other books and future releases, please visit
www.michelepaigeholmes.com
. You can also follow me on Twitter at
@MichelePHolmes
.

Happy reading!

Michele