“I wish I could too, honey.” A
but
seemed to hang in the air. What more did he want to say? This was killing Lacey.
“Mom and I put a care package together for you.” Jenna was already heading to the kitchen, speaking over her shoulder. “I’ll put it in your car so you won’t forget it.”
“This has been the greatest weekend I’ve had in a long time.” Alex tucked a piece of hair behind Lacey’s ear. “And that reminds me, I want you to keep an eye on my pig. I’ve decided that, since he cost me a good pair of shoes, I’m claiming him for my own. From now on, his name is Harry, for Harry Houdini.”
“You’re welcome to visit him anytime you like.” Lacey forced a smile. “I have to warn you, though, one day you may be eating him for supper.”
Alex placed his hands at her waist. “Kiss me goodbye, you heartless woman.”
Why fight it? She wanted that kiss. As she sank into his warm gentle arms, Lacey knew she wasn’t heartless. Right then, her heart was aching for a lot more than a mere kiss, even more than mere sex. She wanted his heart.
She smiled and waved from the front porch as his car turned onto the road. A moment later, Jerrod came up behind her. He was only wearing a pair of shorts and his hair was still wet from his shower.
“What did you and Alex find to talk about all afternoon?” she asked.
“We talked about a lot of stuff. You know, guy stuff. Stuff you can’t really talk about with your mom.” Jerrod shrugged. “Anyway, Alex was pretty cool. He let me be the boss and everything. I’m going to go up to my room and get some reading done. I’ve still got a few books on my summer reading list, and the one I’m on now isn’t horrible.”
After he went back inside, Lacey realized he hadn’t asked for anything to eat. He hadn’t mentioned food at all. Something was definitely wrong.
****
Alex had only driven five miles from the Double J when he pulled onto a path toward the water. It was more overgrown then it had been thirteen years ago. He knew there was a risk of scratching the paint on his BMW, but he didn’t give a damn. He reached a small clearing that was surrounded by oaks so big and thick that they canopied the whole area and only let in a few rays of sunlight. Approximately three yards on the other side of the trees was the lake, but this spot was well hidden from view.
He wondered when Lacey had last been here. Did she ever think about this place?
The first time he’d come was the evening he followed Lacey, after her parents’ funerals. It was so dark he’d had to build a small fire. She’d been crying because of the things Mrs. Dell said to her, and of course because her parents weren’t there to support her and make everything okay again.
He’d held her for a long time, and then he made love to her for the first time. He’d been too young to realize how vulnerable she was at that moment. All he knew was that he wanted her. He had for a long time.
They’d fumbled through the act, her being a virgin and him feeling like one. But it had been beautiful. Afterward, they met there nearly every day for a month. They made love, and then lay in the grass naked, wrapped in each other’s arms and talking until they fell asleep.
They sat under the tree where their names were carved when he told her his plan to postpone college and join the Navy. She’d cried then too. He’d felt terrible, but he’d thought he was doing the responsible, grown-up thing. She promised to write as often as she could. He promised to come back for her. Then it was over. Neither promise had been kept.
Now fate had just fed him a big shit sandwich. It had teased him with a glimpse of the woman she’d become and of all he’d missed. But there was no way to turn back the clock. There was no way to remove the scars on his body or his soul. And, no way to erase her love for another man. He’d lost…again.
Why had he pushed his way back into her life? Why had he allowed himself to fall in love with her a second time? Yeah, he had to admit he loved her. He supposed he’d never really stopped. But it was harder now. There were a lot more complications.
Everything that could have gone wrong had, and still, he’d had the time of his life. He’d let his guard down.
While one of her kids worshipped him and fed his ego, the other tore him down and put him in his place, which was no place in their lives. Now, he would have to walk away again.
He should have stayed away from her. He shouldn’t have come back to Florida. He sure as hell shouldn’t have bought property in Indian Lakes. What had he been thinking?
When Alex looked down to put his shifter in Reverse, he noticed the box in the passenger seat. On the lid was a smiley face with its tongue sticking out on one side and one curlicue on the top of its head—Jenna’s artwork, no doubt.
Alex couldn’t resist opening the box to see what kind of care package they’d made for him. On the top were two thick ledger books. Their covers were marked in bold print with Lacey’s brand, overlapping J’s that sat at an angle. The first showed the previous year and the other, the year before that. He’d forgotten he’d asked to look them over.
Under the books were plastic containers of cold fried chicken, potato salad, green beans, homemade rolls, and a generous slice of pie. A lump formed in Alex’s throat. Leaving all three of them was going to hurt like hell. Yes, despite Jerrod’s surly disposition, he’d miss him too. How had they all gotten under his skin so quickly?
Chapter Twelve
The kids hadn’t been this quiet at the supper table since the last time they were in trouble. Lacey couldn’t think of a reason for it today. The last four days had gone by without incident. Everyone had done their chores and gotten along. It had almost been
too
perfect.
Jenna seemed her usual self most of the time. She’d probably just run out of things to say about Alex. He’d been her main topic of conversation since he’d left on Sunday evening.
“You seem awfully quiet tonight, Jenna. Is something on your mind?”
“Well, yes.” Jenna set her fork down and knit her brow. “Granddad came by this morning with two flats of strawberries. He wants us to make some jam. You were in the corral exercising Ms. Begley’s mare so I put them in the outside cooler. I figure I’ll get started on them in the morning.”
“We make jam for him every summer. It shouldn’t be a problem.” Jenna still looked concerned about something. Lacey knew there’d been more to her grandfather’s visit. “Did he have anything else to say?”
Jenna took a deep breath before she replied. “Jerrod and I have always ridden in the Heritage Day Parade with granddad. He says he’s tired of driving that old Model-T for the bank. He says it looks like the bank is showing off both their old relics. He thinks the new bank president should take it over.”
Lacey put effort into keeping a straight face. It was a good thing Jenna had taken that deep breath, otherwise, she might have passed out from the long tirade. “Now, if that’s the way Granddad feels about it, I think we should respect his wishes.”
“Oh, I do,” Jenna interrupted. “That’s not what I was thinking about.”
“Well, if it isn’t the strawberry jam or the Model-T, what is eating at you?” Jenna could wear a person out before she got to the point.
“I’m thinking about riding Buttercup in the parade.” Her face lit up. “Maybe Jerrod could ride Drifter. We could put their blue ribbons on their harnesses or saddles so everyone could see that they’re champions. It might even bring in more business.”
How could she tell Jenna that they may not have a business by then? Without the farm, Buttercup and Drifter would have to be sold along with her own horse, Stardust. Jenna was so excited about the idea; the reality would be like a slap in the face.
“Let me think about it.”
“What do you think, Jerrod?” Jenna was looking for reinforcements.
“Huh?” Jerrod looked up with a blank stare. “What are y’all talking about?”
If Lacey hadn’t known better she’d think Jerrod had just woken up. Was he sick? Had he been outside in the heat for too long? Something had been eating at her boy all week and it was starting to take a toll on him.
“Jenna, would you finish up outside. Jerrod can help me with the dishes.”
“Okay, Mom.” Jenna bounded out the door, energized by her new plans.
Jerrod began stacking the plates on the table. His meal was only half-eaten, but he prepared to add the remainder to the slop bucket. He hadn’t had a good appetite all week. For a boy his age, this was serious.
“Are you feeling okay, son? You’ve hardly been eating lately.”
“It’s just been hot is all. I’m okay.”
Lacey took him by the shoulders and turned him around. There were blue shadows under his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping well, either. Considering the amount of work he’d been catching up, this was also serious. A body that worked so hard could get awfully run down if it wasn’t properly taken care of.
“What’s going on with you? You haven’t been yourself for days. If something is bothering you, I want to know. There isn’t anything we can’t work out if you’re honest with me.”
“Jeez, Mom, you make it sound like I’m on drugs or something.” Jerrod scowled. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”
A chill ran down Lacey’s spine at the mention of drugs. Other parents she knew were battling that problem. She hoped she’d never see that day. “You haven’t been yourself since Alex Benson came to visit. Did something happen when the two of you went out to mend the fence? Did he say or do something to upset you?”
“No, Mom,” Jerrod turned his eyes away. “Everything is fine.”
“I have Alex’s phone number. Maybe I should ask him.” Lacey let go of Jerrod’s shoulders. “I want this straightened out before he comes back.”
“Oh that would be really great. Make him think I’m some kind of a baby. He’s the only one around here who doesn’t already.” Jerrod flopped back into his chair at the table.
“Is this about something I’ve done?” Lacey asked. “I know you’re growing up, and sometimes I don’t know how to handle it.”
“You don’t seem to have so much trouble handling it with Jenna.” Jerrod folded his arms and looked away.
“Jenna’s a girl,” Lacey reminded him. “Believe it or not, I was a girl at one time. I know how she thinks and what she’s feeling. It’s altogether different with a boy. I’ve never been around boys all that much. I thought it would be good for you to have a man to talk to. Jerrod, you have to help me understand what’s going on.”
“Well,” Jerrod began. “It was good talking to Alex. He’s an okay guy. We talked about serious man stuff, you know? It got me thinking about the future a little. Mom, do you ever think about the future and what it’ll be like when Jenna and me are all grown up?”
Lacey smiled. He was finally opening up a little. Now wasn’t the time to start correcting his grammar. “I think about it all the time. I’ve been putting away money for college since the two of you were born. You’re both so smart I want you to have the opportunity to be whatever you’d like. Then, I hope you’ll find love and settle down. Mostly, I want you to be happy.”
“What about you?” Jerrod asked. “What will you do then?”
“I’ll be fine.” Lacey reached across the table and took his hand. His hands were so much bigger than they used to be. They were calloused and scarred by hard work. He was becoming a man, not someday, but soon. “Maybe you guys will live close by so that I can visit you often.”
“What about love, Mom? Don’t you ever think about having someone to love?”
“I’ll always have you and Jenna. Someday I hope to have a few grandchildren too. That’s more love than any woman could hope for.”
Jerrod gave her a stern look. “You know that’s not what I meant. Stop treating me like a little kid.”
This time, Lacey was the one to turn away. “Exactly what are you getting at?”
“I want to know if you still love my father as much as you used to.”
The abrupt question almost made Lacey gasp. She tried to hedge around the subject. “I know this conversation is way overdue. And, I do want to answer all your questions. I promise I will soon, but I need a little more time.”
“I just need a yes or no, Mom.” Jerrod’s voice was lower than she’d ever heard it. “That’s all I need to know right now.”
“The answer is yes,” Lacey whispered. “I still love him just as much.”
Jerrod squeezed her hand. “Thanks. I didn’t mean to give you a hard time. You know how much I love you. I don’t even mind doing these dishes by myself if you’d like to soak in the tub for a while tonight.”
Lacey gave her son a big hug before she went to her room. She sat on her big empty bed and wished she had someone to cuddle up to, someone she could share her thoughts with. She wished that person could be Alex.
The chances of that happening got slimmer with every day that passed without a phone call. She hadn’t heard a word from him since he’d left on Sunday.
Would he be back this weekend, or had he walked away again? There was only one way to find out.
Lacey took the business card out of her nightstand and looked at it. A. J. Benson, he didn’t even use his given name anymore, at least not in his world. Everything had changed about him except the way he made her feel. He made her feel alive again, full of promise and passion.
She picked up the phone next to her bed and dialed his cell phone number. She didn’t know where he might be at this time of the evening. A recording came through the receiver. “All circuits are busy at this time. Please try your call again later.”
She hung up. It wasn’t unusual for the lines to be busy at the end of the workday. Then she remembered what Alex had said before. He didn’t leave work until after dark. She dialed his office number.
“Thank you for calling East Coast Land Development,” his assistant’s voice said on a recorded message. “Our Orlando headquarters is closed, due to relocation. All current clients will be contacted within the coming week. If your call is urgent, please contact the satellite office nearest you. As always, East Coast Land Development is glad to assist in your future growth.”
Lacey’s hand felt numb as she placed the receiver back into the cradle. What did that mean? Alex hadn’t said a word about relocating. Was his office moving to another building in Orlando, another city, another state? Why hadn’t he said anything? Why hadn’t he called? Was this the reason for his odd behavior Sunday?