"Hand-held PCs. They can use them for addresses, notes, calculating-- they can even get on the Web with them. They're the best out there."
"But
I
didn't really buy them."
"What's the difference who buys them? They still come from you to them and that's all that matters," he assured me.
I
signed the cards. but I didn't feel attached to anything or any real emotional involvement. We shared a father, but to me Adrian and Cade were almost alien creatures. Unless Daddy brought me there, they never spoke to me, called me on the phone, or ever thought to visit me. One of my girlfriends at school. Natalie Alexander, knew them because her father was friends with Daddy. She just loved being the first to tell me news about them, underscoring how little contact
I
had with my awn brothers,
"Oh, didn't you blow that?" she would sing, stinging me with her sweetness.
Daddy's butler greeted us at the door and took the gifts he and I had supposedly bought and brought them into one of the three sitting rooms. The moment she had heard us arrive. Danielle came down the stairs quickly to greet me. She looked so young, far too young to be the mother of the twins.
I
thought. I knew she liked to read. but I always wondered how she occupied her time. Daddy's house had far more servants than ours. Mommy wanted only Lila and Mrs. Haber, who did most of our cooking. Lila did it on Mrs. Haber's day off.
Daddy had three full-time maids, a cook, and a butler. Danielle had no house duties whatsoever. She had no career as such, unless you considered being Daddy's wife and the twins' mother
a
career. Mommy categorized it as being more like a prison sentence. A good deal of her time was taken up with what Mommy sarcastically called her beautification. When I once made the mistake of saying Danielle was very pretty. Mommy turned on me with fiery green eyes of jealousy,
"Thatcher wouldn't tolerate it any other way. She has to look young and beautiful all day and all night." she said.
Truthfully. I never saw Danielle caught by surprise, looking untidy. Her hair was always perfect, as was her makeup, and she was always well put together, everything from her earrings dawn to her shoes well coordinated, just as they were tonight.
I
was sure all that did take a lot of time and effort. Maybe Danielle believed she was constantly on a stage, but surely it was the life she wanted.
I
thought.
"Hannah," she called as she descended.
"
Bon soir, cherie
."
"Hi, Danielle."
"Isn't she looking like a femme fatale. Danielle?" Daddy asked.
"
Mais oui
. Every time you came, you are more beautiful than you were the time before," she said.
She said it with such sincerity, she brought a blush to my face. Then she kissed me on both cheeks. French style, and took my hand.
"Come and see how we have decorated the room for the twins' birthday dinner," she said.
"Go on." Daddy said. "I'll be right along."
He headed for his home office. and I followed Danielle, who chatted with such happy energy.
I
couldn't help but leave my doldrums at the door. Her bright, melodic, and youthful voice was truly a welcome relief. Maybe being Daddy's wife wasn't as miserable a situation as Mommy made it out to be.
We stopped in the doorway of the dining room, and I looked at the crepe paper decorations, the balloon displays, and gold and silver cutouts. It was obvious they had hired a professional party decorator.
"Wait until you see the cake. It's three feet high with two dolls made by
an
artist who duplicated their faces."
All this just for a family dinner,
I
thought. What
will they do for a big party..?
"There's just the five of us?"
"
Mais oui.
Tomorrow, they will have their friends over for a barbeque. Thatcher wanted so much to have a quiet, private dinner first.
Naturellement.
your brothers complained. They hate getting dressed up in their tuxedos. Your father, he is baffling with them every day not to look like homeless people," she said. laughing. "Boys. We should have had two girls. eh? Then you would see what spoiled is.'
"
-
Why don't you try to have
a
little girl?" I asked.
She laughed. "Thatcher says he would drive himself into the ocean if had to bring another child into this mad, crazy world.'' She sighed. "But
I
wish he would want it."
She took my hands and stepped back to look at me closer,
"But
I
will borrow you to be my daughter. yes? I love your dress." she said. "I have a pair of earrings you will adore. They are perfect for this. Come. We have time to indulge ourselves," she added, pulling me back to the stairway.
We went up to her and Daddy's bedroom, which was nearly twice the size of Mommy and Miguel's. It had an entirely separate living room area and a large, long vanity table and mirror for Danielle. Her closet was as big as my bedroom.
It
had a wall mirror, a dressing table, and a television set sa she could watch her soap operas or whatever while she considered what she would wear.
Her jewelry chest had more than a dozen drawers. She rifled through the third drawer until she found the earrings she wanted me to wear.
I
couldn't imagine how she remembered what she did and didn't have. There was so much.
"So," she said and gave them to me.
I
put them an, and then she turned me to the mirror. "voila! I was right, no?"
"They're very pretty. Danielle."
"Good, They are yours," she said.
"But--"
"No but. They look wonderful on you. I insist." she said. smiling. "Do you know in some places, when it's your birthday, you give your guests gifts. The best gift is one that fits you, and these beautiful earrings fit you perfectly. They belong on you. Hannah," she insisted, turning me so
I
would look at myself again.
It
felt so good to have someone focus fully on me and see me for a change. Maybe I should move in with Daddy until little Claude was a year or so old.
I
thought. The idea actually didn't seem so outrageous.
"So" Danielle said as we headed back to the dining room. "Tell me news. You have a beau. maybe?"
"Maybe." I said, smiling, and she laughed conspiratorially, as if she were my friend and not my stepmother.
Daddy was already in the dining room waiting.
"Where were you two?" he asked.
"I had to give Hannah these earrings," Danielle explained. Daddy nodded and looked at his watch.
"Where are those idiots? They can't even be on time for their own birthday dinner."
He started to rise when we heard a door slam and laughter in the hallway, but it was coming from the rear of the house and not the stairway. Daddy's eyebrows lifted with curiosity, and we all turned to the doorway.
Adrian and Cade appeared. They were both in bathing suits, towels around their necks, both their sleek, muscular bodies gleaming. Why did the two of them have to be so perfect? I moaned to myself.
"What the hell... why aren't you guys dressed?" Daddy demanded.
"We just saw what time it was." Cade said nonchalantly. I always though he had a shrewder, more conniving glint in his blue eyes. Usually, his gaze lingered on someone a bit longer than Adrian's.
I
could almost feel him plotting some prank or mean thing,
"This is the way you treat your birthday dinner!" Daddy shouted, Adrian glanced at me and looked dawn, at least pretending some shame. Cade, on the other hand, held his defiant gaze.
"We'll be ready in a few minutes. Dad. Don't worry," he said confidently.
"You're supposed to be here now!" Daddy shot back. You have a guest."
"It's only Hannah!" Cade cried.
Daddy took a threatening step toward them.
"All right. We'll be right down." Cade assured him and nudged Adrian.
They started away. As Daddy turned back to the table, his face red with fury, we heard Cade's laugh and then a challenge to beat Adrian up the stairs.
Danielle looked at Daddy.
"Sometimes," he muttered, "I think God punishes us through our children."
He collapsed in his chair and stared dawn the long table, glittering with beautiful dinnerware and crystal glasses.
"Not Hannah," Danielle said, smiling and trying to resurrect the happy moments we had just shared.
Daddy raised his eyes toward me and shook his head. "No," he said. not Hannah."
I know that should have made me feel very good about myself, but it didn't. Instead, it sent a small flutter of panic through my body. He had given me the compliment with such definiteness, such assuredness, it seemed as if he had just nudged the lid on another secret, buried and shut away, patiently waiting to be reborn.
From Joya Del Mar to here, the darkness followed me, slithered like a snake, and coiled up in the shadows, listening with gleaming eager eyes for its opportunity to strike.
7
A Not-So-Happy Birthday
.
"You see how much easier men have it than
women when it comes to preparing for an evening," Danielle said to me when Adrian and Cade returned in less than fifteen minutes, each with his light brown hair brushed neatly and each in his tuxedo. As mannequins modeling the newest in black-tie styles, they were flawless, both already close to his mature height at five feet eleven inches tall. Their
competitiveness had them bodybuilding when they were only twelve, and I couldn't remember a visit when one of the twins wasn't demonstrating how much bigger his biceps were than the other's.
Daddy minted, reluctantly complimenting them on how good they looked and how fast they had dressed.
Adrian and Cade both looked pleased with themselves and took their seats like perfect little gentlemen, flipping their napkins and placing them in their laps before they assumed proper posture. My daddy's mother. Bunny, had paid for them to have private charm school lessons when they were barely five years old. To me they were the perfect example of why proper etiquette had nothing to do with the quality of a person. The moment the adults turned their backs to them, one or the other did something disgusting.
"Well, it couldn't have taken Hannah very long to dress," Cade said after a moment. "Look what she's wearing, a metallic sock."
"What a terrible thing to say. Cade. She is wearing a lovely dress. and I'm sure it took her much longer to fix her hair than it took both of you to fix yours," Daddy said, defending me.
"Is hers fixed? It looks like it's still broken to me," Adrian teased, and they both laughed.
"A year older and a year less mature," Daddy said, shaking his head.
"And happy birthday to you both," I told them dryly. "Thank you. Hannah Banana." Cade said.
Adrian laughed and added a thank-you.
The maids began to serve our dinner. About halfway through the meal, Cade, who had been teasing his brother about a girl he claimed Adrian liked, paused and turned to me to say, "I hear you have quite a boyfriend. Hannah."
Daddy paused in cutting his London broil and looked up with interest.
"Oh?" he said. 'Hannah has a boyfriend?"
"Yeah, he's a guitar player and a songwriter, right?" Cade pursued.
"Yes." I said,
a
little surprised at how much he knew.
"Is this who you went out with the other night?" Daddy asked. smiling.
"Yes," I admitted,
"Well, that's okay. Someday these two might find girls who
can
stand being with them." Daddy joked.
"We can find them. Dad. We're just very particular about whom we date. a lot more particular than Hannah apparently."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Daddy asked sharply.
"Her boyfriend's half black. right. Hannah?" Cade asked. smiling.
Daddy turned to me. "What?"
'His mother happens to be Haitian."
I
said.
"Black is black," Cade insisted,
"'Haitian?" Daddy asked. "A Haitian boy is going to your magnet school?"
"Yes, Daddy. He's a talented musician. He plays guitar and he writes songs. His father is a jazz musician who is presently working in New Orleans."
I
said. One thing
I
didn't want to do was describe his broken family situation.
"We heard he goes to school on some rusty old moped. What a sight that must be," Cade said.
"He wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth like some people," I snapped. "It's all he can afford."
"What's your mother have to say about all this?" Daddy asked as he patted his lips with his napkin.
She hasn't said much about anything that concerns me these days," I replied, almost under my breath.
Cade's smile spread from ear to ear. It suddenly came to me where he had gone to drink at the pool of gossip.
"If you're hearing things from Natalie Alexander. Cade, you can be sure they are full of exaggerations and lies and whatever," I said with fire in my eyes. "She's jealous of everyone because she is such a loser."
He shrugged and looked at Daddy. "You're always saying where there's smoke, there's fire, Dad. right?"
Daddy looked at him and then at me.
"How long have you been seeing this person, Hannah?" he asked.
"Not long at all. We're rehearsing an act," I added.
"An act? That's a new name for it," Cade said. and Adrian laughed hard.
"Cade," Danielle snapped. "That is rude, and especially in front of your mother."
"I'm not the one in rehearsal," he said, without a sign of remorse. I couldn't recall when
I
had ever seen either of them intimidated or even respectful of Danielle.
"What
I
meant is we're singing together." I told Daddy and Danielle.
"I bet," Cade said.
I
threw him the most furious look I could, but he only widened his smile.
"You want to be careful about your friends and other people with whom you associate. Hannah." Daddy warned. "Unfortunately, too often we get labeled by the company we keep."
I
looked down, "Heyden Reynolds is a very nice young man. Daddy. I am not ashamed of being with him and"--
I
continued shooting darts of rage at my twin brothers-- The has never done anything at our school for which he had to be reprimanded. His father didn't have to plead with the principal to keep his son from being expelled. Unlike some people at this table." I added. Both of my half brothers had been suspended twice from their private school, and one time Daddy had to donate money toward the new gymnasium to keep them in attendance.
"Yes. Well, that's fine," Daddy said.
"I
think you are a sensible and responsible young lady. and
I
have full confidence in you doing the right things. Unfortunately. I can't say that yet for our guests of honor." he added, looking hard at Cade and Adrian.
They both took on the look of the wounded. Then Cade raised his eyes to me, his face fall of bloodred anger because he and his brother were getting the reprimand and not me. Adrian was a mirror image. It did amaze me how they not only shared looks and physical characteristics, but very often feelings and emotions as well,
"So tell us about the new baby," Danielle said, breaking the heavy silence that followed,
"He's very small, so he has to be watched carefully. They are afraid of SIDS," I added.
"Who's Sid?" Cade quipped.
It happens to be a very serious, often fatal illness that affects babies," I told him.
"What happens to them?" Adrian asked.
"They stop breathing and die."
"So they commit suicide." Cade said.
"They hardly know what's happening to them. Cade."
"How can you not know you've stopped breathing?" Adrian asked.
"Something happens to their nervous systems." Daddy said. "If you were better students, you wouldn't say so many stupid things." He turned to me with concern. "Miguel didn't mention it to me when
I
met him earlier. Is that why Willow is shut up in her room like that?"
"Yes"
''How sad," Danielle said.
"Yes hard, very hard," Daddy said.
"Is it because his father is Cuban?" Cade asked, unintimidated by Daddy's reprimand.
"No." I said sharply and quickly. "SIDS affects people of all races, religions, and even income levels. It occurs during sleep and strikes without warning. And you can't tell from looking at the baby, either. Seemingly healthy children can suffer from it."
"Still sounds like suicide to me," he muttered. The maids began to clear off our dishes.
"I knew someone in France whose baby suffered SIDS. It's hard an everyone in the home." Danielle said. "Always tension in the air. Everyone nervous. worried." She thought a moment and turned to me. "Why don't you say here for the weekend?"
"Stay over?"
"You can be here for the barbeque. Your mother won't have to worry about you while she is worrying about the new baby."
"Oh, no. I don't think--"
She wants to 'rehearse' tomorrow,
I
bet," Cade said. "Right, Hannah Banana?"
"Stop calling me that. Cade." I blushed because I knew why they were always calling me that. He had once done a very nasty thing with a banana in front of me and from that day on, tagged on the nickname. Daddy was under the misapprehension it was a term of brotherly endearment. I wasn't about to explain
why that wasn't so. "Rehearsal," he muttered.
"As a matter of fact we do have a session planned for tomorrow."
Cade broke into laughter. "A session?"
Adrian smiled at me.
"You're more than welcome to stay. Hannah," Daddy said. "I'm sure the boys would like it, too." he added, sounding more like he was threatening them.
"Sure. Maybe she could sing for us, too," Cade said. "I can't stay, but thank you. Daddy. Danielle."
"All right," Daddy said, folding his napkin. "Let's adjourn to the den where we'll have some birthday cake and watch these two juvenile
delinquents unwrap some undeserved gifts."
"Did Grandmother Eaton send us something yet?"
"Of course," Daddy told them.
I had never so much as received a card, much less an actual gift from our grandmother.
"She usually spends a bundle. Last year they bought us the water jets," Adrian told me, even though he knew I knew, They so enjoyed rubbing in my grandparents' rejection of my very existence.
We rose and walked dawn the long hallway to the sitting roam Daddy referred to as a den. It had more informal furnishings, a long circular leather sofa with recliner chairs on both ends which faced an inthe-wall wide-screen television set. There was a long, rectangular glass table in front of the sofa and piled on it at the moment were the twin's gifts.
"These are all from the family," Daddy explained. "My parents happen to be in Cape Ferrat on the French Riviera at the moment. Your aunt Whitney and uncle Hans are in Switzerland," he told the twins, but neither seemed very interested. They were eyeing the impressive pile like ravenous wolves. "Your cousins have all sent you gifts. boys. I want you to be sure to send out thank-you cards this year, hear me?"
"Just have Mrs. Gouter do it, Dad. She does it better than we can," Adrian said.
"That's not the point. It should come from you."
"It will. We'll sign a dozen and have them available ahead of time like you do. Dad." Cade followed,
Daddy blanched, but his lips whitened. He looked at Danielle, who quickly dropped her eyes.
"They're impossible," he told me. "Should we start?" Adrian asked.
"Start," Daddy said and turned to one of the maids hovering at the door, "You can bring in their cake. Claire." he told her.
The boys lunged at their gifts, tearing away the wrapping and the cards without even taking care to see who gave them what. Danielle had to check each card for them. Their gifts included very expensive imported silk shirts. Rolex watches, digital cameras, the hand-held PCs Daddy bought in my name, binoculars, and what they considered their piece de resistance: the keys to their own speedboat. It was going to be delivered tomorrow. There was a picture of it along with the keys.
She got it for us! She got it!" Cade cried. "I told Bunny what we dreamed of having, and she got it."
"
Mon Dieu
. Thatcher, Should they have such a gift?" Danielle asked.
"No," Daddy said. They both looked up at him with disappointment on the verge of rage. "But it doesn't surprise me that my mother would do such a thing. She loves providing dreams for people. You're not to take the boat out without first having me give you a full course of instruction." Daddy warned them.
"Sure," Cade said.
"I mean it. Cade. If I hear that you have. I'll have it towed off and sold. understand?"
"We understand, we understand. Don't we. Adrian?"
Adrian looked at him and then turned to Daddy and nodded. but I had no doubt in my mind that they would disobey him first chance they had.
Just then the maid brought in the cake, moving slowly so the candles would stay lit.
"Oh, my, my!" Danielle cried, clapping her hands.
It was an impressive cake, and the two dolls did resemble my half brothers, both with a small arrogant smirk on their lips.
I
thought,
The maid placed the cake on the cleared table, and the twins leaned over and started to blow out the candles, racing with each other to see who would blow out the most. When they were finished, the other servants gathered obediently at the door, and we sang happy birthday to Cade and Adrian. They both stood back, glowing as if they were finally getting what was always rightfully theirs. Two mare ungrateful, spoiled people did not exist anywhere,
I
thought.
"Happy birthday," I told Cade and kissed him on the cheek. I did the same for Adrian.
As Claire began cutting the cake and putting the pieces on plates for us. Daddy's butler stepped in to tell him he had a phone call. He left and the four of us sat eating cake and reviewing their presents.
"I've got to run out," Daddy announced when he returned. "Something has come up."
"Now?" Danielle asked. "but--"
"I'll be back in an hour. I promise," he said. "You two behave yourselves." he warned the twins.
Danielle rose. "I can't imagine what it could be," she said sadly, and then she followed him to the front door,
"So," Cade said turning to Adrian, "not a bad haul this year, huh, brother of mine?"
"Not bad," Adrian agreed, turning his new Rolex watch over and over.
"Too bad your mother dumped dear old dad for Fidel Castro." Cade said to me. Or you would be enjoying birthdays like this with piles of expensive gifts."
"There are a lot more important things in life than accumulating more possessions. Cade."
"Like what? Making music?" he said with ridicule.
"Yes, I think so." He started to laugh again. "At least
I
am doing something that pleases other people, too, and feeling good about myself. I don't have to have something new every week to keep me from being bored to death. either."
"Really," he replied, lowering the corners of his lips.
"Yes. Cade. really. The two of you think you have loads of friends when all you have is a bunch of people who use you and wouldn't care about you if you didn't have all this to offer. They don't like either of you for who or what you are, only for what you can give them, and that to me is not having friends at all."
Both of my half brothers stared at me, my words seeping in to their reluctant brains.
"I bet you think you're better off with your Cuban stepfather," Cade finally retorted.
"He has never been nasty to me or not cared about my feelings, and his family have always welcomed me with open arms."
"Of course they would. They're honored you give them the time of day," Adrian said. "You have the Eaton name."
"That's not true. It's just the opposite. I wouldn't trade them for a pile of gifts five times as high as this." I said, pointing to their small mountain of gift wrap and boxes,
"Sure."
"Yes. sure." I said.
They both glared at me.
'Having fun?" Danielle said. returning.
"Loads." Cade said dryly.
"Your father has a client who was just arrested for drunken driving. He had to go down to the police station. He'll be back very soon," she explained. "I'll be right back," she added. "I have to see about some things I have scheduled for tomorrow."
I
was sorry to see her go, too. I always felt uncomfortable when
I
was alone with my half brothers too long. It wasn't getting any better as they grew older, either.
"Our father and his clients," Adrian said, shaking his head.
"His clients are very important to him, and they should be to you." I said. "How do you think he provides all this for you?"
"If he died tomorrow, we wouldn't be a penny poorer, Hannah," Cade said. "Our grandparents have created a trust fund for us. We'll be millionaires for the rest of our lives. We're millionaires now!"
"Good for you."
"If you were really part of this family, you would have had a trust created for you as well. Bunny and Asher are very, very wealthy people."
'Whether they like it or not, they are my grandparents, too. It's not my fault I'm not recognized as part of this family," I said and folded my arms under my breasts.