‘Alex … Alex?’ Tamsyn interrupted her. ‘I think you are slightly digressing.’
‘Am I? What was I talking about?’
‘The “how you know that you are in love” thing.’ Tamsyn reminded her, because she really wanted to know.
‘Right, well, when I thought I was in love with Marcus, I felt like you. I couldn’t understand why the person I thought I wanted made me feel so unhappy so much of the time. And then there was Ruan, and I loved him. And he loved me, and I didn’t have to wonder if he loved me because, because I felt it, I
knew
. It was such a relief. Life is complicated and difficult, but I wouldn’t walk away from him because of his life before me. It’s his life before me that has made him the man I love.’
Tamsyn nodded. ‘You are quite smart. And you know that just before you came in he was explaining to me exactly how much he loved you. You should marry him, and not just because I am going to make you the most beautiful dress you have ever seen, although that could be considered a good enough reason.’
‘So, do you have sketches?’
‘Not yet,’ Tamsyn said, carefully placing Mo in the baby chair that Cordelia had found for her. ‘I want to talk to you about what you want and like, and then we’ll take it from there. Sketches and patterns sorted by ten tonight, and then I start cutting and sewing. Make the most of this insight, because you won’t be seeing your dress before you put it on to wear it down the aisle. It’s going to be a surprise – my gift to you.’
Sue found her, with Mo asleep in the chair by her feet, as she was carefully drawing out the patterns for the new dresses on sheets of baking paper. It was almost midnight, and taking much longer than she thought, as she was having to tape sheets of paper together to make big enough pieces.
‘Anything I can do?’ Sue asked her.
‘Not yet,’ Tamsyn said. ‘First of all, I need to get the patterns sorted and the fabric cut, and then we can get the sewing army on the case, hopefully first thing in the morning. Normally I’d make a calico toile – a kind of mock-up dress – but we don’t have time for that, so we’re just going to have to hope that the Poldore sewing circle pulls it out of the bag.’
‘You are doing marvellous things,’ Sue said. ‘I’ll bring you some food in a little while. It seems wrong that we are having so much fun in the great hall while you are in here all alone. No chance that I can tempt you through for a quick sausage roll, and perhaps a turn at singing? We have the best Poldore band you can imagine, you know: Brian Rogers, our very own seventies rock legend on guitar, and your sister on backing vocals. And former boy-band heart-throb Riley Rivers keeps trying to do breakdancing, but his back has gone. Now there’s a man who doesn’t know how to age gracefully, bless him and his trousers that he persists on wearing hanging halfway down his behind.’
‘Has my mum done her burlesque-ercise thing yet?’ Tamsyn asked.
‘Not yet …’
‘Then I’ll stay here for now.’ Tamsyn smiled. ‘My sisters can bear witness to that particular marvel. Listen, Sue, I haven’t had a chance to thank you for supporting me with the social worker, and sorting out a room for me and Mo, not that we are going to see much of it tonight.’
‘I was glad to,’ Sue said. ‘I always thought you were a funny little girl, not as, erm, strong as the other Thornes. Always looked like a good breeze would blow you out to sea. And as for the tearaway you became as you got older, well, I’ve never had to expel anyone from Brownies except for you. I think you managed to offend everyone in the town before you were eighteen. When you left, I didn’t expect to see you again, and, if I’m honest, I didn’t really want to. And yet here you are, actually being quite extraordinary.’
‘Thank you, I
think
,’ Tamsyn said, her pencil hovering while she tried to work out exactly what it was Sue had just said. ‘You know that girl, Kirsten? She reminds me of me, the me I used to be, only she has a much better reason to be that way than I do. I was angry at a world that had never done anything that terrible to me.’
‘Ah yes, Kirsten,’ Sue looked thoughtful. ‘She does OK, living at the hostel. Very bright, just needs a bit of direction in life. Bit of a loner, though. You know how cruel girls can be.’
‘Have you seen her … I mean, she seems quite interested in Mo,’ Tamsyn said hesitantly, never sure what sort of whirlwind of activity she might be releasing in Sue. ‘I might just be imagining it.’
‘You think she might be the mother?’ Sue asked. ‘It’s possible. She always looks so lonely, and so sad. They just couldn’t find anyone to foster her, you know. She ran away from everywhere, hated everyone. Tried to run away with her little brother at one point. The hostel was the only place for her, but she seemed more settled there, more at peace, even if she didn’t have much of a social life.’
‘I get the impression there was something of a romance, and that it’s over now,’ Tamsyn said. ‘I might be wrong, but, well, will you help me keep an eye on her? Either way, she looks like she needs a friend.’
‘You are quite the caring, sharing person these days, aren’t you?’ Sue said, cocking her head as she watched Tamsyn work.
‘I’m really not,’ Tamsyn said. ‘I’m utterly heartless, in fact, famous for it.’
‘Well, I will keep an eye on Kirsten, but for now I’d better get back to the party. Rory’s been flirting with one of Cordelia’s friends. I’d better go and put a stop to it before he makes a fool of himself
again
.’
‘Sue.’ Tamsyn stopped her from leaving. ‘You and Rory, you’ve been married quite a while now, ten years or so?’
‘Or so,’ Sue said.
‘Do you love him as much as you did on your wedding day?’ Tamsyn asked her. ‘Look, don’t answer if you don’t want to. I’m just trying to get my head round some feelings of my own. I look at Alex and Ruan, and I think they will surely love each other for all of their lives, but I see you and Rory, and the way you were talking the other day in the kitchen, and it’s almost as if … Well, does the love part always turn into annoyance, bitterness and regret?’
The look on Sue’s face was quite unexpected, and Tamsyn realised she hadn’t thought of Sue’s feelings, but she was so used to her being as tough as the castle walls, she hadn’t thought her bluntness would affect her. The last person to upset a Montaigne had been beheaded, so Tamsyn was devastated to see Sue’s face crumple and her hands fly to her mouth to stifle a sob. She realised that she’d caused injury where none was intended.
‘Oh, Sue,’ she said, as her host crumpled onto a dining chair. ‘Oh God, I’m so sorry. I was being crass and rude. I’ve got no right to pry. I’m sure you and Rory love each other just as much as you always did. What would I possibly know about it?’
Sue shook her head, furiously blinking back tears as she took a moment to compose herself.
‘There’s a difference between the relationship that I have with Rory, and Alex and Ruan’s,’ she said, finally, composing herself. ‘I’m not what you would call a classic beauty. Even when I was young. Short, red curls, beaky nose. Bossy, loud, strident, opinionated. Not exactly the girl boys go for. I’d never had a boyfriend, not one who lasted more than a few weeks anyway, before I met Rory. I never thought that anyone would ever want to spend their life with me. When he said he did, well, I loved him just for saying it. I was grateful to him. We worked well together for a while, and we love each other still, from time to time, but … he has hurt me more than once, and I just treat him like a dogsbody most of the time, which makes him want to hurt me even more. We both know that we will never have the same sort of deep companionship that Alex and Ruan have, or that your mum and dad did, and that makes us angry with each other. And yet I would never leave him, and although he thinks he might leave me, he never will. He doesn’t have the strength. So we muddle on, and sometimes it’s even quite nice. And at least the children are happy. That is one thing that we do very well; we make happy children.’
Tamsyn nodded. ‘Well, I mean, that’s what life is like. Nothing is perfect, is it? No marriage is a fairy tale. I only have to look at Keira to see that. She barely ever sees her husband. He rarely comes to any family get-togethers; it’s almost like she made him up. Might as well have, considering the support he gives her, which is none, aside from money. The fairy tale, the thing they all con us into believing, that’s the problem, isn’t it? It’s because we all expect so much, but life just isn’t like that.’
‘You should talk to your mother about love,’ Sue smiled. ‘Your mum and dad were happy in the way that Ruan and Alex are. I don’t know if a love like that is possible for every single one of us; if you have to be somehow more lucky or more brave to find that kind of love, or if it’s just the luck of the draw. But it does happen. Sometimes. Just not to me.’
‘Anyway,’ she stood up abruptly, briskly wiping the heels of her hands across her eyes, ‘I’d better get back. Do come through in a little while, perhaps when Mo needs her next feed? Everyone is missing you.’
‘I will,’ Tamsyn nodded. ‘But only if Mum’s already done her nipple-tassel thing, even if she does put them on over a jumper. Mo isn’t ready to see that yet. And Sue … I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be,’ Sue straightened her shoulders. ‘Does one good to let it all out now and again. A constant stiff upper lip can be awfully tiring, you know.’
It was a little while later, when the first pattern was almost finished, that the thunder started rolling in over the town and the window frames began to rattle as the wind rose. Mo started to mewl as the lightning whipped ever closer, and Tamsyn had to admit that the sheer power of the storm that she could see marching towards her through the gallery window unnerved her. Scooping Mo into her arms, she went to visit the party, suddenly feeling like she could do with some company. How Sue had arranged such a raucous event in the space of a few hours, particularly when most of the shops in the town were closed for business, and at least half the guests here were temporarily homeless, she would never know, but it occurred to her that Sue Montaigne would make the most wonderful manager of a fashion house; it could actually be her calling. Sad, really, that there weren’t any Poldore-based designer labels.
Sue had set her brood, and all the teens, to decorating the hall all day, and they’d done a good job of it, too; there were even coloured lights, and Gloria’s disco ball to top off the party atmosphere. Brian Rogers and his pub band The Poldore All Stars, which featured Cordelia’s vocals, were in full swing on a little stage, currently backing Eddie Godolphin’s explosive rendition of ‘Bat Out of Hell’.
‘Kill me now,’ Lucy said, pushing through the dancers to get to Tamsyn’s side. ‘Just kill me.’
‘He’s pretty good,’ Tamsyn said as she watched Eddie wobble his stomach in time to the music. ‘I think he’s pretty hot.’
‘Oh my God!’ Lucy looked appalled. ‘If you weren’t holding a baby …’
‘Ear defenders!’ Sue appeared, gently positioning something that looked like massive purple headphones over Mo’s head, which she didn’t seem to mind even though they were far too big for her.
‘Hello, darling!’ Laura danced up to her in that embarrassing way that only mothers can, a sort of combined conga-come-seizure style. ‘How’s the dressmaking going?’
‘Well, I think,’ Tamsyn said. ‘How’s the alcohol consumption going?’
‘Getting there,’ Laura giggled, launching herself back into the fray and then shimmying against Mr Figg the chemist, who had to be nearly ninety if he was a day. Children ran in and out of the adults, screaming for no apparent reason; the teenage boys stood in one corner, huddled around mobile phones, as if they’d just discovered the secret of making fire; and the teenage girls lounged against whatever they could find to lounge against in another corner, eyeing the boys and giggling. Scanning the room, Tamsyn couldn’t see Kirsten anywhere, and she wasn’t surprised; this sort of party would have been her own idea of hell at the same age. If Kirsten was anything like Tamsyn, she had stolen some beer and was sitting outside now, hopefully not smoking. When she got a chance, Tamsyn would see if she could track her down; maybe all Kirsten needed was someone to trust.
Around her – those brave or drunk enough to take to the makeshift dance floor – stood a good cross section of the Poldore community, all of them making the most of a moment of levity amongst the serious consequences of the storm. Tamsyn silently hoped that they weren’t about to be given a repeat performance of the destruction it had wrought, for if the church suffered yet another drenching it would be impossible to get it ready for the wedding in time. Lightning flashed outside the window, followed at once by a deep roar of thunder that could even be heard over the music.
‘Another storm is bad news,’ Tamsyn said. ‘I’m not sure the town can take any more rain.’
‘Well, this one is supposed to be mainly thunder and lightning, something to do with thermals,’ Lucy said. ‘Not too much rain, so hopefully it will be OK, if quite scary. As long as nothing gets burnt to the ground – we couldn’t be that unlucky, could we?’
‘I really hope not,’ Tamsyn said.
‘And at least we are all together. It’s nice, isn’t it? I bet you don’t get such community spirit in Paris.’
‘I have certainly never been to a party like this.’ Tamsyn smiled as she watched the knitting circle get up on stage to perform a cancan.
‘Just before the ladies of the knitting circle start their turn …’ Sue grabbed the microphone from Cordelia.
‘Or have a turn,’ some bright spark at the back shouted.
‘I’ve asked Reverend Hayward to share a few words with us,’ Sue smiled and nodded, and Tamsyn realised she hadn’t really seen Jed today, not properly, not since she’d left his house feeling like she’d somehow upset him. They’d handed Mo to each other once or twice, smiled and nodded, exchanged a few words, but that was it. And it was curious, because given that she’d only met him yesterday, Tamsyn realised that she had actually missed him being around.
‘Friends,’ Jed said into the microphone, ‘it’s so good to see so many of you here, pulling together during this time of need. It what humans are best at doing, and it’s funny how we go along, day to day, grumbling about each other under our breath. Moaning because so-and-so’s parked in your space, or her next door’s left her wheelie bin in the road again. And then something like this happens. Homes are ruined, important mementos lost, months of discomfort and difficulty lie ahead. But instead of turning on each other, we turn
to
each other and offer a shoulder to lean on, even when our troubles are as great as our neighbours’. We remember we are part of a community, and that no man is an island – although we came pretty close to Poldore becoming one last night.’ Jed’s smile was shy, and there was a polite ripple of laughter. ‘I feel privileged to be part of this community, to know our people as friends, who would set aside their own troubles to get the church ready for Alex and Ruan’s wedding.’ The crowd cheered, and looking around, Tamsyn saw Alex, her arms around Ruan’s neck, her head on his shoulder. ‘And to help Tamsyn rescue the wedding outfits!’ There was a rowdy and very drunken cheer for the sewing circle, who seemed to be engaged in some sort of drink-off with the knitters that made Tamsyn fear for her hems. ‘And to Sue, who has not only housed and fed many of us, but has also thrown this party to lift our spirits.’ There was a round of applause that went on for several seconds. ‘Jesus told us to love our neighbour as ourselves, and I am proud of every single one of my neighbours tonight, who embody that commandment and make this town the very special place it is. Thanks be to …’ A huge crack of thunder crashed so loudly that it almost felt as if it was in the room, and Tamsyn was sure she felt the floor vibrate beneath her feet as the group of people screamed and laughed and held onto each other. Tamsyn and Tamsyn alone saw Jed flinch briefly, his eyes closed against the noise.