Un-Shattering Lucy (The Lucy & Harris Novella Series) (Volume 4) (13 page)

The voice of reason echoed through my head over and over again until she stepped into her room. From where I was standing I could see every inch of her. Every inch that was dressed in only an old T-shirt that fell to mid-thigh on her.

My T-shirt.

Holy fuck.

It had been so long since I’d seen that shirt, but I knew it was mine. I’d left it on the tour bus the summer Demon’s Wings and OtherWorld had toured together. Had she been sleeping in that shirt ever since? God, I hoped so.

Lucy moved toward the French doors of the balcony, turning off the lamp that was dimming the room as she went. I gripped the rail harder to keep myself from grabbing her the second she stepped outside.

This far up, the glow of the moon was the only light to see by with all the lights off in her room. It gave the entire moment a dreamlike feel to it as I watched her step outside. She didn’t move toward the rail immediately, but paused. She closed her eyes and breathed deep, as if she was letting herself relax for the first time that day. My cologne must have given me away, because she opened her eyes and looked right at me.

“Hi,” she murmured almost shyly.

“Are you wearing anything under that, Lu?” Fuck, why had I asked that? Now all I could do was picture what she was—or wasn’t—wearing under my old shirt.

She shrugged and crossed the distance to the rail, putting herself less than a foot from me. I saw the smallest ghost of a smile on her lips before she bit down into the plump bottom one. “What are you doing here, Harris?”

“Trying to keep my hands to myself, mostly.” She turned her head, meeting my gaze and I tried to remember what my plan had been for tonight. “You’re here, sweetness. That means I’m here too. I’ve wasted enough time, Lucy. Too much fucking time when we both could’ve been happy instead of slowly dying without each other.” Even in the moonlight I saw how she flinched. “I’m sorry, so goddamn sorry.”

“Is that how it felt for you too?” she whispered. “Like you were dying without me?”

“No,” I told her honestly. “No, it wasn’t like I was dying. I was dead, Lucy. I was dead without you.” Releasing the rail, I lifted a hand to push her damp curls back from her face and cupped her chin. “I woke up each morning, hating myself because I’d fucked up. I ate because Nat would yell if I didn’t. I went to work because there was nothing else to do but lie in bed hating the world. And I fell into bed at night, wishing I could go back in time and change everything. On the outside it might’ve looked like I was alive and breathing, but on the inside I was fighting for each breath I took and not giving a damn if I took it or not. My heart was shriveled up and just lying in my chest, completely dead because you weren’t there to make it beat again.”

I felt her shiver, saw the tears fill her eyes, and couldn’t have stopped myself from kissing her right then even if I had a gun pointed at my head. Wrapping my hands around her waist, I lifted her. She didn’t seem to be able to stop herself either, as her fingers dived into my hair, holding me right where she wanted me as she met my lips with a hunger that burned us both.

She tasted like heaven and hell mixed in one. So sweet, so enticing, and I couldn’t have what that taste was offering. I had to hold back, had to give her time to think, and for me to show her that what we had was forever. I loved this girl more than anyone else on the planet and I needed her to understand that before I let my dick get in the way.

My heart was trying to explode out of my chest and my hands where already exploring her curves. There was still a part of my brain that was trying to remain sane and I was fighting to hold on to that one tiny piece before I screwed this up. I wanted inside of her. Wanted to make up for all the lost time when we could have been together.

A loud cackling laugh from the balcony a few floors down had us pulling apart and I’d never been so happy to hear such an annoying sound in my life. Sucking in one lungful of air after another, I pressed my forehead to hers and prayed I didn’t nut off in my shorts. Right then the smallest breeze would have set me off.

“You should go to bed, Lu.” Even as I said it, my hands tightened on her ass.
Thank fuck she’s wearing panties.
That thought had barely whispered through my head when I realized her panties were drenched. I would’ve had to be a saint to hold back from the feel of her wetness coating my fingers right then. If she didn’t leave in the next ten seconds, I was going to devour her. “Please, go.”

She shook her head. “I can’t. I’m where I want to be.”

I buried my face in her neck, trying to calm my throbbing body down. “I’m not strong enough to keep my hands off you if you don’t go inside, Lucy.”

“But I want your hands on me,” she breathed at my ear, completely shattering the last of my control.

“Hell,” I groaned but didn’t try to fight it a second longer. Lifting her higher, I carried her into the bedroom and shut the French doors behind us.

The AC was blasting, causing us both to shiver after the humid heat from outside. I laid her down in the middle of the bed and followed her down as I pulled my shirt over my head. Before I got lost in another kiss, I had just enough sense to toss my wallet on the bed beside us. Reaching for it, she tossed it across the room where my shirt had landed.

“Don’t need that,” she assured me, already breathless. “I’m on the pill.”

“Thank fuck,” I growled. “I lost my head the other day and forgot all about protecting you. But I loved being inside of you bare, sweetness. That was pure bliss.” Her face pinched up and I knew exactly what she was thinking. “No, Lucy. I’ve never done that before. No one has ever made me lose control like that. I’ve always used protection. You’re the only one who has ever had the power to drive me that crazy.”

“I’ve been jealous of all your girlfriends since I was eleven,” she confessed in a slightly sulky voice and even though it was harder to see her now that we were inside, I could easily make out the little pout to her kiss-swollen lips.

I bent and kissed the pout away. “There was never a need to be, sweetness. Before you, I’d never had a girlfriend. All those girls in my past are just that. My past. They don’t matter. Never did. Only you, Lu. Ever. You are my present and my future.”

“Harris,” she breathed and I heard the tremble in her voice, knew that she was close to tears.

Those tears were enough to cool my throbbing body the few degrees it needed and let me grasp on to the control I so desperately needed. Fucking hell, her tears were a million times worse than Trinity’s. I would do anything to keep her from ever having to shed another one. Moving to lie beside her on the bed, I pulled her head down onto my chest and stroked her hair while she cried.

Her right arm was tucked between us, but she put her left across my chest, her hand right over my heart. I covered it with my own, my thumb stroking over the back of her hand until I connected with her leather bracelet. She’d been so hurt that she’d covered up the one thing that had brought me what little peace I’d had over the almost six months we had been away from each other.

“I love you,” she whispered on a shuddery breath.

Fuck. Tears burned my own eyes. After what had happened in my office on Monday, I hadn’t thought she would ever say those words again. She’d accused me of not loving her, and I knew she had only said it because she was pissed, but what she had said had cut me to the bone. I’d never kept from her how I felt. I understood why she would think it, though. After what had happened in January I could see exactly why she would think those poisonous things.

And I was going to make sure she never had a reason to think or believe that bullshit ever again.

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, continuing to stroke the back of her hand once again. “I love you, Lucy.”

I stayed there, holding her and soaking up the peace that having her so close brought me long after she had fallen asleep. I didn’t dare close my own eyes for fear that if I woke up in the morning this would have all been a dream. I wanted to memorize the sound of her breathing while she slept. Wanted to imprint the feel of her body against mine so that I would never forget it.

It was nearly three in the morning before I untangled us and quietly made my way back to my own room.

As I started to open the door, the one behind me opened and Layla stepped out of her sons’ room. Her eyes went straight to my bare chest. Fuck. I’d forgotten to get my shirt. Then her gaze went to the partially closed door to Lucy’s room. A frown wrinkled her forehead, and she lifted a brow as she turned back to me.

“We were just talking,” I was quick to assure her.

The wrinkle evened out and she nodded her head slowly. “You two need to do a lot of that, I think.”

“Yes, we do.” I rubbed a hand down my face. “Thank you for letting me stay. I know this is a family vacation and—”

Her hands lifted, cutting me off mid-sentence. “Stop. You’re family, Harris. You always have been. Somehow I always knew you would be a big part of Lucy’s life one way or another. I hope things work out for you two.” She took a step closer to me, her eyes turning cooler than I’d ever seen them on Layla Thornton. “But if you hurt her again, it’s not Jesse you have to worry about. It’ll be me.”

I believed her completely but knew I would never have to worry because I wasn’t ever going to let Lucy go again. “I won’t ever hurt her again, Layla. You have my word on that. I love Lucy. I want to marry her when she’s ready.”

The cold glare disappeared and her face split with a beaming smile. “Good. I hope it all works out, sweetie. Just remember, you still have to convince Jesse to
let
you marry her.” With a small laugh and a wink, she headed back toward her own room.

Shaking my head at her laughter, I pushed my bedroom door open. Dropping down in the middle of my bed, I pulled a pillow over my head and let out a long groan. This would require a lot of planning. Jesse Thornton wasn’t just going to simply let me marry his only daughter. He’d been cool with my friendship with her, and our relationship later, but marrying her was an entirely different story.

I wasn’t about to let that stop me, though. Having Lucy forever was worth fighting for. I’d take on the challenge of Jesse and any other Demon who stood in my way. She was everything and more.

I just had to prove it.

Chapter 15

Lucy

Day one was a long but fun day. Mom had woken us all up for a huge breakfast and then we’d gone down for a few hours of fun on the beach before the heat became too unbearable. The twins had buried Dad in the sand while Mom had soaked up some sun as she read a book, and Harris had chased me in the surf, threatening to tickle me.

After that we’d gone on the Sea Dragon, which was a pirate adventure for kids. The twins always loved the two-hour-long ride and I enjoyed looking for dolphins while Mom and Dad relaxed inside with cool drinks and snacked on the biggest pickles I’d ever seen. Harris stayed with me during the entire boat ride, except for when Luca and Lyric soaked him with the water guns the pirates provided. I couldn’t stop laughing as he chased them around the deck.

After the pirate adventure we went back to the condo and ordered enough pizza to feed three families, but turned out to barely feed all the guys. All the fun had worked up a huge appetite in us all. Luca and Lyric crashed in front of the TV in the living room and Mom and Dad decided to go for a walk on the beach after carrying the boys to bed. That left Harris and I alone for the first time all day.

I wasn’t sure why, but I felt a little shy as he took my hand and pulled me down the hall to my room. He didn’t stop at my bed, though, which left me disappointed. I wanted to finish what we’d started the night before, but that wasn’t his plan and he stepped out onto the balcony before half closing the door behind us.

Still holding my hand, he stretched out on one of the loungers and tugged me down beside him. My head went instantly to his chest and a happy little sound escaped me when I felt him kiss the top of my head. It was insane. A week before I had been so miserable I’d cried myself to sleep every night. Now, I felt like I could float I was so content. Just a few days with Harris Cutter and everything seemed to be falling into place where it belonged.

“How about tomorrow we spend the day at one of the sandbars? Just the two of us.”

A smile lifted my lips and I pressed them into his chest. “Mm, I like that plan.”

“Can we get you a once-piece swimsuit before we go, though?” he asked in a slightly strangled voice, and my head snapped up, frowning at him. “That damn bikini you were wearing today nearly drove me mad, sweetness.”

I smirked. “Too bad. I’ve got plenty of bikinis. I’m not buying another swimsuit. Daddy didn’t complain, so you shouldn’t either.”

He blew out a long breath through his nose. “I’m not complaining. Not even a little. I’m thinking about my sanity, Lu. My sanity and us not getting arrested for public indecency for having sex on the beach.”

“You’ve done a good job of keeping your hands to yourself so far,” I reminded him.

“Only because I’m trying not to screw this up again.” He turned so he was lying on his side, facing me, but still pillowing my head on his bicep. He was quickly becoming my favorite pillow. He brushed my hair back from my face when the breeze blew a few curls forward. “I’m trying hard here, Lucy.”

My stomach filled with the warm flutters of butterfly wings and I lifted my hand to trace my index finger along his scruffy jaw. He’d shaved his beard from earlier in the week, which had disappointed me a little. This new scruff, however, felt just as delicious against my finger as his beard had been on my thighs Monday morning.

“I’m not going to lie. I really like that you’re trying hard,” I confessed. “But from the moment I saw you in my bathroom yesterday, I was convinced you were serious and we should give this another shot.”

He’d left everything in California to come to Florida and be with me. He had left his club in the hands of other people to take care of so he could take this time to show me how much he cared. For me, that was all the proof I needed that I should at least try to see where we could go this time around. Maybe it was a mistake, but then again, maybe it wasn’t. I loved him too much not to give us a chance.