chapter 21
Saoirse was bored. Ever since she had broken up with Morgandy her life just wasn't as interesting. There were no more secret dates, no more rendezvous in the middle of the day, no more chances to test herself, to find out just how far she was willing to let herself go when the two of them were alone in her dorm room. All of that was gone; all of that was ruined because Morgandy wasn't just a secret boyfriend, he was also a lying boyfriend. On top of all that he had also been her brother's boyfriend. Like Saoirse said, it was “goppin' disgusting.”
It didn't matter that Morgandy couldn't remember anything about Ronan, that he didn't have a trace of memory of the time they had spent together as a couple, as soul mates. He was still a liar. Morgandy might not remember the facts about that time of his life, all the little details and events that made up his daily existence, but there was no way that Saoirse was going to believe that he could forget his feelings, the ones that told him he was gay or that he was duplicitous enough to betray someone he professed to love. That's who Morgandy was, and that's why Saoirse couldn't forgive him no matter how desperately she wanted to.
Before his memories were taken from him and scattered to points that were just out of his grasp, Morgandy had made choices. Some were natural, like choosing to honor his true self and spend the rest of his life with Ronan, another guy. Others were unnatural, like choosing to betray Ronan's love and destroy The Well and the entire race of water vampires along with it. Why'd he have to be such a jerk?! Sure it would have been weird to continue to date him knowing that he had previously romanced her brother, but Saoirse was willing to accept the fact that Morgandy had fallen in love with her despite her gender. But how to get past his quest for, what was the technical word? Oh yeah,
genocide.
When she had first learned of his outrageous plot, of course, she flipped out. Her brother, her mother, so many of the people she had known as a little girl were water vampires. She wasn't one hundred percent sure, no one really was, but if The Well were ever destroyed, the chances were pretty darn good that they would be destroyed too. And destroyed as in killed, gone forever. The surprising thing, though, was how personally she was affected. She had been surrounded by water vampires her entire life, but never considered herself part of their race. Until now.
Sitting in St. Albert's lab, she had a wicked revelation: maybe she was just like Morgandy. Not that she craved super mass destruction, but maybe facts didn't matter; only intangibles were important. Maybe the truth about her unlikely entry into this world, about why she was physically one of a kind, would never be uncovered by gathering scientific data or conducting experiments just like she may never know why Morgandy was this wannabe mass murderer. All she really needed to know about herself was that despite being human, she was an honorary member of an inhuman race. Made sense to her.
“Ciaran,” Saoirse said, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. “Don't hit me with a test tube, but I think I'm done with all this experimentation stuff.”
Looking into his microscope at a swirling mass of red and yellow gunk that seemed to pulsate and change shape every few seconds, Ciaran wasn't surprised by Saoirse's comment. He knew she was growing impatient. She was just like David, just like most everyone else. No one shared Ciaran's love for research; they were only interested in results. What they didn't understand was that results took time, perseverance, and sometimes, in some cases, results never came. Research sometimes produced even more questions that needed to be examined further. In some instances, however, all that hard work and patience paid off. “Well, if that's what you really want.”
Now just hold on for a second!
Something about the way Ciaran sounded, something about his too-casual tone didn't sound right. Could he have found something out? Something important? “Well, it's not what I really want,” she protested. “But you know this whole affair, well non-affair with Morgandy, has kind of got me permanently narked, and I am a girl, if you haven't noticed, and I want to have some fun.”
The red and yellow gunk shifted in shape again, becoming a slender oval. “Don't know what you expected from a guy whose nickname is Morgue.”
“I didn't expect him to be one of Them,” Saoirse replied, flicking some whipped cream at Ciaran that fell short of hitting its target and fell to the floor. “And I didn't expect you to
not
be able to find out why I'm a human born to two vampires. Honestly, I thought you would've come up with something by now.” She waited for Ciaran to look at her, but evidently his specimen was more interesting than his sister. “I mean I really do want to know why I'm this misfit, so if you found something in your tests, tell me.”
Scribbling in his notebook, Ciaran didn't even look up when he spoke. His voice the same flat monotone as before, he said, “You're special.”
“Zzzzz, yesterday's news,” Saoirse said, licking a chunk of whipped cream off of her finger that she had scooped out from the top of her drink. “But blimey, maybe I'm just supposed to be this mystery that, you know, can't be figured out.”
Almost under his breath, Ciaran muttered, “Well, I have figured
something
out.”
Saoirse almost snorted whipped cream through her nose. “You did?!” she exclaimed. “When were you going to tell me, ya dumbarse?”
Now that he had his sister's full attention and interest, Ciaran finally raised his head from his work and faced Saoirse. “I wanted to make sure I completely understood my findings before I said anything.”
“I don't care if you don't completely understand it!” Saoirse shouted. “Tell me what you found!”
Ignoring her outburst, Ciaran continued speaking as if he were a lecturer who had unexpectedly found himself with a captive audience. “Before making any sort of announcement, a good scientist always repeats his experiments several times to make sure he comes up with the same result,” he replied. “The most disappointing thing in the world is to find out that you have a false positive.”
“No, Ciar, the most disappointing thing in the world is to find out your boyfriend is an amnesiac who shagged your brother,” she declared. “Now tell me what you know or I swear to God I'll start breaking things!”
If Ciaran hadn't believed his sister would follow through on her threat, he would've laughed. Instead he disclosed his scientific findings. “I've isolated an unknown gene that I found in your blood.”
“Unknown?”
“Yes, unknown.”
Saoirse took another sip of hot chocolate. She wasn't thirsty; she was merely trying to collect her thoughts, take a moment to see if this news was as incredible as she thought it might be. “So what you're saying is that it's something that can't be found in any of those really big books you read all the time?”
“Correctomundo!” Ciaran loved when his work sparked curiosity in someone else, when his findings piqued another person's interest and for a moment they shared a common bond. It was nice not to be alone in his own fascination even if that other person was only fascinated by her own celebrity.
“So that means I'm the only person in the world to have this unknown gene?” Saoirse reasoned. The way she posed the question it was clear that any response other than “yes” would greatly disappoint her. Unfortunately, Ciaran had to do just that.
“No.”
Outraged, Saoirse felt as if Ciaran had slapped her in the face just as Morgandy had. Why was nothing turning out the way she wanted it to? Boys totally sucked. All they did was play games. “What do you mean âno'?!”
“The gene is unknown to the scientific world,” Ciaran explained. “But you're not the only person who has it.”
“Which doesn't make any sense!” Saoirse cried, slamming her mug onto the countertop.
So much for trying to create an air of intrigue. If Saoirse just wanted the bottom line, well, then that's what Ciaran would give her. “I found the same gene in Michael's blood.”
Disregarding the complex ramifications of this discovery or the physiological randomness that she and Michael could both possess the same scientific anomaly, all Saoirse could think about was how cool it was that she and Michael were somehow linked. She really liked her brother's boyfriend and was thrilled that they had grown close this past year and that Michael had become more like her sibling than just her friend. How wild that they might be even closer than anyone had ever imagined! Maybe science wasn't all boring, complicated experiments after all. “So tell me more about this unknown gene.”
It worked. Ciaran had hoped Saoirse's interest would skyrocket when he mentioned Michael's name. He had done what every smart scientist did who wanted to create excitement about his discovery; he had made his findings personal. He hoped to make them irresistible as well. “It's water-based, so I call it Atlantium.”
“Oooh Atlantium,” she cooed. “That's brill!”
Now that it was clear that Saoirse was as excited as he was, Ciaran didn't have to hide his true emotions. “It gets even more brilliant.” He pulled out a small metal box from the cabinet drawer and placed it on the countertop. Unlocking it, Ciaran turned it around so Saoirse could see what was inside. “These are all the samples of your blood that I've taken.”
Resting on her elbows, Saoirse peered into the box as if she were fawning over a particularly fine piece of jewelry. “And all of that contains the mysterious Atlantium?”
“No.”
“What do you mean no?” she snapped. “Ciaran, you're really starting to tick me off! You just said ...”
“I said that I found the gene in a sample,” Ciaran interrupted. “I didn't say that I found it in every sample.”
Saoirse scrutinized her brother to see if he was testing her. She would never become a scientist, but even she knew his statement sounded wrong. “Doesn't that like defy the laws of nature?”
“Completely,” Ciaran said, a bit surprised that Saoirse had gotten it so quickly. “It makes absolutely no sense at all. It goes against the human physical composition,” he said, unable to control his enthusiasm. “Every sample of a person's blood should be the same; it should all carry the same DNA and genetic breakdown.” He pushed the box closer to Saoirse and waved his hand over it like he was conducting a magic act. “Yours doesn't.”
Ciaran might be smiling, but how could this possibly be good news? Yes, Saoirse had always known she was different, a freak, but all the people around herâthe vampires, water vamps, efemerasâthey were all a little freaky too, so what did it matter? In the grand scheme of things she was a lot more normal than they were, and she had always found comfort in knowing that she was human. Now her brother had uncovered confirmation, proof, that she might not be that human after all. She wasn't just an honorary member of an inhuman race; she might very well be their missing link. “So what does all this mean?” she asked, not certain she wanted to know the answer.
Ciaran hated being vague, but he had no other choice. “I don't know yet.”
“You have to know!” Saoirse screamed, slamming her mug onto the table once more. “You're a lab rat. This is what you do!”
Quickly, Ciaran closed the metal box and returned it to its storage, worried that it would be doused in Saoirse's drink if she got any more excited. “What do you think I've
been
doing?! Running tests, retesting, comparing your blood to that of other species.”
“And what did you find?!”
“There's no evidence of Atlantium in my blood or even in Ronan's, but I found traces of it in all of the samples of Michael's blood that I've been able to examine. Every one of them is the same.”
“Unlike mine,” Saoirse said.
“Yes, unlike yours,” Ciaran confirmed. “But don't you see how bloody amazing that is?!”
He just didn't get it. “No, Ciar, I don't,” Saoirse replied. “And amazing is not exactly the word I'd use to describe what's going on inside of me.”
She just didn't get it. “Saoirse, it's like your blood, your physiological makeup, is constantly changing!” Ciaran beamed. “Almost like it's vibrating on a level no other human being has ever reached, vibrating like I've heard Ronan say The Well vibrates. So I don't care what you think, but that's bloody amazing!”
If Saoirse had wanted to be special, if she had wanted to be some sort of abnormal legend, she would have been happy to hear what Ciaran was telling her; she would have embraced it. She would revel in the fact that she was like Phaedra and her mother and all the others and wear her badge of inhumanity with pride. But it wasn't what she wanted. Ever since she had come to St. Anne's and especially since she had started dating Morgandy, all she wanted to be was normal. She wanted to be average. She wanted to go to school without worrying that people were staring at her or wondering if they could turn her into their kind of vampire or use her as a living specimen to uncover the unknown. Unfortunately, she also knew from experience that you could not escape who you are or what you were supposed to be.