Unbearable (the TORQUED trilogy Book 2) (13 page)

Why is it that I can’t forget him?

Probably because he’s Tyler Hemming and the bastard won’t let me. Or, it’s because I keep going back for more.

As if I needed a reminder of this morning, he sends me a text after my 11:00 a.m. class.

Tyler: My wang is lonely without his muff. I should have taken you up on the offer.

I hate how that one text sends my heart into a rapid beat and my cheeks flush remembering the wrench this morning.

Me: Last class is at 1. Be there tonight. Think you’ll be done on time tonight?

Tyler: We’re slow today. Makes it worse because suddenly I’m staring at my tools…

I laugh out loud at that one and then put my phone away. Right after my classes are done, I head back to Lebanon, pick up take out and show up at Tyler’s apartment to make it up to Wang.

We ignore the food completely.

“Today was torture,” he tells me, his palms cradling my face, his mouth crashing against mine as soon as I’m through the door.

A sense of familiarity seeps into my pores.

This
is why I keep coming back.

This
is why I can’t let go.

Maybe that’s why Sophie can’t either. Familiarity with someone intimately can be everything.

Picking me up, he sets me back on the same table he had me laid on this morning. He unbuckles his belt and then his jeans, pushing them down just enough to free himself, gliding his hand from base to tip twice.

So fucking sexy!

“Did you think of me in class today?” With his question, I begin ripping my shirt over my head and working on my jeans. I’m just a little eager.

I nod. “Yes. I couldn’t even pick up my pen today without being reminded of a wrench.”

He seems satisfied with my answer and helps me out of my jeans. “Good. At least I wasn’t the only one losing focus.”

Caught up in him, I watch the movements in his chest, his stomach, the look on his face, always searching.

Holding me captive with his kiss, he enters me. He kisses me deeply, sliding in and out of me as he attempts to keep himself steady holding me against the table with his movements.

He only lasts a minute, maybe two. “You have no fucking idea how sexy you are.” He breathes, slumping against me. His hands and arms shake as he tries to control his breathing.

When he does, he gently picks me up and carries me over to his room where he lies down and pulls me against him. “I don’t think you’re getting any sleep tonight.”

And I don’t. I definitely don’t.

MAYBE IT’S ME trying to fit in, I’m not really sure, but on Thursday, I have the bright idea going to a frat party would be a great way for me to experience college life. I think it’s more my obsessively going over the conversation I had with Sophie the other day that has me wondering if I’m hanging onto something that’s never going to be. Like Tyler actually having feelings for me outside of sex.

With that thinking, I attempt to socialize and go to a party. I hate frat parties. That much is clear when I’m at one and the guy wearing sunglasses next to me can’t stop talking. Why he’s wearing sunglasses is both surprising, and not. He’s a tool so it makes sense.

Surrounded by a thick cloud of smoke, I ask myself what the fuck I’m doing here. It’s mostly because I don’t have friends in college. I mean, I know people and talk to them but I don’t go out of my way to be friendly. Maybe it’s the small town girl in me or maybe it’s just me.

I should have known better to think I could come to a party like this surrounded by idiots and not run into the biggest douche of all.

“Thirsty?” Holden asks, staring down at me and the guy in sunglasses.

I hate that he’s looking at me as if he knows me. He doesn’t know me at all anymore.

I raise the beer in my hand. “Clearly… I’m drinking, aren’t I?”

With a chuckle, he shrugs, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a drink. He gives a nod to the kitchen. “Come with me. I’ll get you something stronger.”

I do, only because he’s probably better company.

Holden gives me a rum and Coke. Or so I thought, but apparently more rum than Coke. The drink is the extent of our interactions that night because mostly, I don’t want anything to do with Holden and if he thought his plan was to get me drunk and hope for something to happen, it’s a shitty plan.

After four drinks and three hours, I sit by myself on the wet grass and stare at my phone in silence. Not complete silence. I’m crying too. I’m not even sure why I’m crying, maybe because I’m alone outside the party and missing Tyler.

And thinking of that conversation the day before I left for college.

“It’s not that I can’t fall in love, it’s that I don’t want to. Yeah, another time, another place, maybe things could’ve been different and believe me, hands down, Raven, it would have been you, but it’s just not who I am. What we have right now, this is all I can give. I’m sorry if that’s not enough”

I’m such a fucking idiot.

Though I don’t want to, the longer I stare at my cell phone and the last text message of him sending me a picture of a wrench, I cave. It might be a mistake, but I make the call anyway.

He answers on the first ring, probably thinking it’s me looking for a booty call. “Hello?”

“I deserve better,” I tell him immediately.

“What?”

“I deserve better!” I yell. “Damn it. Why won’t you love me?” I fully admit to sounding like a whining brat but I blame the liquid in my cup and me wanting an answer.

“Raven?” He sounds confused, his breathing speeding up. “Are you okay?”

“I just
want
to know. Why won’t you love me?”

He sighs, heavily. The last thing he
wants
to do is admit to me why he won’t love me. It’s like he’s keeping his heart on lock down. “Are you drunk?”

“Yeah.” I laugh. “I wouldn’t say
this
sober.”

“
Where
are you?” He sounds upset now, his tone demanding like if I don’t answer, he might scold me like a child.

Or spank me.

Don’t answer him. See if he spanks you later.

I do answer him though, because I want some answers. Drunk me is persistent and demanding. “What do you care?”

He sighs heavily. “Raven…. You know I care.”

“No.” I shake my head adamantly, though he can’t see it. “No, I don’t. You told me you
didn’t
love me.”

“I never said I didn’t care,” he says immediately.

“Whatever.” I throw my hand up in the air. “It doesn’t matter. Just answer my question. Why won’t you love me?”

“I won’t until you tell me where you are. I mean it, Raven. Where the fuck are you?”

“I don’t know.” I flip my hand around and lay back in the wet grass that’s seeping through my jeans. “I came to a frat party and Holden was there and I got drunk… and I don’t know now. I wandered.”

“What frat house?”

“I’m not in a house. I’m on the grass. It’s wet.”

“Talk to me.” I hear doors slamming around and what sounds like his truck starting. “I’m coming to get you.”

I shake my head back and forth, the smell of dirt all around me. “If you don’t love me, why are you coming to get me?”

“No matter what, I’m your friend and I care about you. I want you to be safe. Tell me where you are? What fraternity?”

“I don’t even know. It’s a brown house though. Does that help?”

“Don’t move, don’t talk to anyone and don’t drink anything.”

“Why would you come get me, Tyler?” I don’t wait for him to answer before I say, “I don’t need to be rescued.”

And then I hang up on him and rest my phone on my stomach, staring up at the spinning sky and ignore the ringing when he immediately calls back.

Why do I keep falling for the wrong guy? Maybe it’s not even that I’m falling for the wrong guy. Maybe I’m the wrong girl. I clearly wasn’t meant for Holden and now Tyler, he’s adamant I’m not the right girl for him to love.

IT’S NOT HARD to know when Tyler arrives. I hear his truck roaring from a mile away and then squealing to a stop in the street. I’m actually impressed he found me.

He slams the door to his truck and stalks toward me. “Where’s Holden?”

I shrug and roll over onto my stomach and tuck my arms under my head. “I don’t know.” Bringing my knees up, I try to stand but it’s a moot effort and he has to help me up. “Let’s go.”

Either from standing up so quickly, or the fact that I’ve drank my body weight in alcohol, I puke. On Tyler.

He groans, tossing his head back and helping me to the truck. “I’m gonna fucking kill Holden.”

Stripping off his shirt, he tosses it in the bed and then opens the door, nodding for me to get in. But I’m covered in puke so I strip. Right then and there, pants and shirt gone completely.

Seems fine to me but there’s people rolling by on the street, whistling at me.

“Jesus, get in the truck.” Tyler’s eyes are frantic, and knowing he drove an hour for me, makes me feel way too good, despite the fact I just threw up on him.

When I’m standing there, staring at him, he waits several seconds, like he’s waiting for me to tell him what happened, but I don’t. I wait to see what he’s going to do with me now standing before him in my bra and underwear and not doing what he told me to do, which was to get in the truck.

His jaw flexes, the muscles in his face twitching. But his touch, it’s tender as his thumb brushes lightly over my cheek. “Raven, you’re in your bra and underwear. Get in the truck.”

My stomach burns, the acid in my throat causing my words to come out rough. “Okay.”

I THINK I PASS out after that. I’m not positive, but I wake up on my bed in my dorm room with Tyler between my legs. I can’t tell if he’s taking clothes off, or putting them on.

“What are you doing?” I ask, trying to pry one eye open. It’s hard, an effort I don’t have. I really do want to sleep but I also want him to love me.

“You’re naked. I’m trying to get your panties on.” He taps my knee. “Help me out. Lift up.”

I do and smile when he struggles. My head falls back against the bed, my legs dangling over the edge. I have no idea how my panties came off in the first place, but it’s then I notice I’m not wearing a bra either, just an old tank top of mine.