Things were finally starting to look bright in my little world.
****
I closed up forty minutes later, headed out for my lunch break. After Amber left, I decided that if I had to I was going to offer Mr. Tanner a sizable deposit on the plane just to secure it and let him know that I was serious. Yeah, he said he had already turned a deposit down from the other person that was interested in it, but I figured it couldn’t hurt my chances.
It was a decision that had been made partly because my mood had shifted to something close to bliss. I couldn’t remember ever having been so excited and hopeful—at least not in the last three or four years, anyway. But I suppose it is better to make decisions based on the motivating factor of a
good
mood rather than a bad one.
I reached Tanner’s Fresh Fish and looked out to the water behind the store. The float plane still sat there, the propeller catching the light that bounced from the gently-sloshing water. Warmth radiated through my body, not too dissimilar from the way I had felt when Jack had prolonged the eye contact in the store earlier.
Jeez, Mac,
I thought to myself.
You sound like some crazy little love-struck teenage girl.
Good,
I countered.
I think I deserve it after all I’ve—
That last thought was cut short when I noticed something different about the plane.
The banner with FOR SALE was no longer strapped to the propellers.
I gasped as a heavy weight landed on my heart. It brought to mind old cartoons where a piano fell from some great height and crushed an unsuspecting bystander on the street below. I stood there for at least thirty seconds, starting at the place where the banner had been strung. Perhaps Mr. Tanner had taken it down because he knew how badly I wanted it and was saving it for me.
Right.
I knew that wasn’t true; it was just a naïve thought that was trying to spare me from disappointment.
Steeling up my courage, I walked into Tanner’s Fresh Fish. Mr. Tanner saw me right away as he was behind the counter, wiping down one of his electronic scales where I had watched him weight numerous fish in the past. He looked pained to see me, like a man guilty of something that he wasn’t quite certain of.
Crap.
“
Hey there, Mac,” he said. Even his voice betrayed him. He knew that I was going to be disappointed. It was a childish thing to think, but I sort of hoped that he
would
be uncomfortable and maybe even feel bad. That is, of course, if he had sold the plane in the first place.
“
The banner is gone,” I said simply. “Did you sell it to the other party?”
He looked away from me and nodded. “I did. I’m sorry. But I was trying to play a fair game, you know?”
“
Fair how?” I asked. I heard the poutiness in my voice but I did nothing to contain it.
“
Well now, when he came in with his money, I told him that I had someone else that was interested in the plane, too. He offered me another five thousand dollars if I’d seal the deal right there on the spot. I'm sorry, Mac.”
I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Just like that, in the blink of an eye, my hopeful day had morphed into one of hurt and disappointment. I wanted to lash out at Mr. Tanner but knew that I really didn’t have any right. Hell, I would have done the same thing. Five thousand dollars wasn’t anything to sneeze at, especially when you were a year or two away from retirement like Mr. Tanner.
Apparently, I stood there, silent and frowning for too long. Mr. Tanner fiddled nervously behind the counter, wringing his cleaning rag behind the freshly cleaned scale. “I really am sorry,” he said.
“
It’s okay,” I said. “I understand.”
Mr. Tanner shrugged. “You never know…if you reach out to him, maybe he’ll sell it to you. He seemed sort of like you—he had a plan for it that I don’t think he was one hundred percent sure about.”
It felt like a long shot, but I wasn’t about give up so easily. I approached the counter and said, “you don’t think they’d mind you giving me his number?”
“
I wouldn’t think so. And if so, they can take it up with me.”
I watched as Mr. Tanner grabbed a pen from behind his register and started jotting something down on a piece of scrap butcher’s paper. I knew he was going to this lengths because he simply didn’t want to send me away
totally
devastated. And quite honestly, in that moment, I was fine with that.
He finished up and handed the piece of paper to me. I barely looked at it before I pocketed.
“
He seemed like a nice enough fella,” Mr. Tanner said. “I feel certain that he’d at least entertain the notion. He’s new to town and has a cabin up on Moose Hill.”
I blinked a few times in rapid succession.
No way…
I thought. I reached into my pocket and took out the paper. As I read it, Mr. Tanner voiced what I feared.
“
His name is Jack. Not sure about the last name.”
Everything inside of me deflated and I thought I might actually scream right there and then in the middle of Tanner’s Fresh Fish.
“
Thank you,” I said absently, turning towards the door.
“
You okay?” Mr. Tanner asked as I walked away.
No.
“
Yes sir,” I said.
But by the time the door closed behind me, I was nearly in tears.
8—Devlin
Here’s the weird thing about being a movie star that quickly becomes accustomed to having a well-sculpted body: you start to
miss
the gym. I knew that there were two gyms it Sitka, but I wasn’t quite ready to “join” anything just yet. To join a gym and get a membership implied something solid and permanent. Still not certain as to where I might go next—or if I might end up staying in Sitka for the long term—I didn’t want to join a gym.
Instead, I made some substitutes. I installed a single metal bar on the cabin’s back porch wall for pull-ups and extended crunches. For weights, I had rocks and bricks I had collected from the edge of the property, stuffed into small pillowcases. But more than anything, I used the natural shapes and surfaces of the back porch and the ground. It got me into a
Rocky
sort of mindset, working out in a rather old school way. I spent about an hour each day on the back porch, running through a series of exercises that my trainer had showed me a while back.
These were exercises that could be done in motel rooms when my schedule didn’t allow for me to hit up the gym. It was mostly cardio stuff with some primitive sit-ups and push-ups thrown in. Doing it outside, with that wide open and beautiful Alaskan sky overhead, was a tremendous experience. No gym walls, no trainer eyeing me to make sure I was meeting the director’s specs, no other huffing and puffing gym members around me… it was
great!
I was apparently not putting in enough time… or maybe eating a bit more than I should. I had gained nine pounds since arriving in Sitka and it seemed like that weight just wasn’t going to come off. I thought about this as I ran through a series of crunches on the back porch and laughed. The guys back in the army would give me a ton of shit about me worrying about my weight. Apparently I was now one of
those
guys.
From time to time, I felt like I had betrayed everyone I served with by going Hollywood. This was especially true of the twelve men that died around me on the day I managed to survive and became an unexpected hero. It was something I had never truly dealt with—something that my Hollywood psychiatrist had liked to point out all of the time.
All of this was racing through my head as the burn from the crunched finally started to set in. I focused on these things and took in deep breaths of the crisp, clean air.
As I wrapped up the crunches, I heard the phone ringing from inside. Not many people knew my number out here in Sitka, so I figured it was either Mr. Tanner with some sort of information on the plane or maybe the bank, with more questions about the transfer I had made from my primary account to my secondary account yesterday.
Shirtless and with a nice sweat worked up, I walked into the cabin and grabbed the phone on the fourth ring. It felt weird to be answering an actual phone…one that was plugged into the wall.
“
Hello” I said.
“
Hi, Jack?”
It was a woman’s voice, but certainly not that of the older lady that had helped me at the bank.
“
Yes, this is Jack,” I said. I thought to myself, just for a moment,
Crap. I bet this is Aubrey…somehow, she found me.
“
Hello. This is Mac. From The Pine Way.”
No way!
A big grin broke out across my face and I couldn't help it. I had struggled with the urge to ask her to dinner while I had been in the store earlier. It hadn’t seemed quite right at the time. It would have felt rushed and awkward. But now, instead of forcing myself through that awkwardness,
she
was taken the initiative to call
me
.
How’d she get my number?
It was a good question for sure. “Oh. Hi. Um…how did you get my number?”
“
A friend gave it to me,” she said. “Listen, I have a weird question that I have to ask you.”
“
Okay,” I responded with a smile, ready to hear her ask what I couldn't earlier.
She remained quiet for a second. I stood by the kitchen table with the cordless phone, looking out into my sloping back yard, grinning like the cat that ate the canary. It was obvious that she was thinking long and hard about what she wanted to say, so I gave her the time she needed.
A beautiful but normal woman is about to ask me out.
“
I was wondering how dead set you are on
really
keeping Mr. Tanner’s plane,” she said finally.
Wait… what?
I was so taken aback that no words came instantly to mind. My mouth hung open, but no words came. Had I been
that
spoiled in Hollywood? Did I really think that any woman that bothered to speak to me was interested in becoming a play thing in my bed?
“
Uh,” I said, still blank. “How did you know about that?”
“
Because I had my eye on it, too. I really wanted that plane.” Gone was the sweetness to her voice that I loved earlier. She was also being rather short.
“
You sound upset,” I said, going to the kitchen and leaning up against the counter.
“
I am.”
Shit.
“
So, what are you asking me?”
“
I’m asking you if you would be interested in selling the plane to me,” she said. There was slight edge of anger to her voice and, quite frankly, it made me start feeling my own little pangs of hostility. Who was she to stick her nose in my business and try to make me feel bad about buying that plane?
“
Well, I just bought it,” I said. “It’s a bit early to sell.” I tried to make it sound funny, but it came out dry and flat.
“
And you wouldn’t be interested in selling it to me?”
“
For how much?” I asked.
“
For what Mr. Tanner was asking for.”
“
If you’ve spoke to him,” I said, “then you know I paid a bit more. I suppose you were the other party he told me about?”
“
Yes.”
“
Look,” I said. “I’m sorry, but I already wrote the check. I’m going to pick it up from him tomorrow and take it for a spin. I haven’t even used it yet. I can’t very well sell it.”
She sighed audibly over the phone. “
Do you
even
have a pilot’s license?” she asked rather gruffly.
“
I do, in fact. Do
you?”
Mac didn’t answer. I could feel her anger and disappointment radiating through the phone. I hated the fact that she was pissed off—especially since I had been very close to asking her out less than three hours before—but there was nothing to be done. As far as I was concerned, she was being not only rude, but a little unrealistic.
“
Fine,” she finally said. “I had some pretty big plans for it, so if you ever
do
decide you want to sell it—,”
She stopped there, her poor attitude clearly getting the better of her. I gave her kudos for stopping before she snapped.
“Mac
,” I said. “Look, this is no reason to get upset with me. I had no idea you were the other person interested.”
“
Would it have made a difference?” she asked.
“Well… n
o.”
“T
here you go.”
“Perhaps we should
get together and talk about it. Maybe over dinner or something.” My suggestion was out of my mouth before I could stop it and I cringed, squeezing my eyes shut.
God damn it, Devlin.
And there it was, floating in the silence between us like a ghost that was pointing at me and laughing.
When was the last time I asked a woman out?
I had no idea. And it really didn’t matter because as mad as she seemed to be at me, I didn’t see any sort of meeting between us resembling anything like a date.
Apparently, the proposal had shocked her. She remained silent for a moment—for such a long moment that I nearly took it back.
“Fine
,” she said with hostility still left in her voice. It was clear that she was taken aback, but she also didn’t want to hand control over the conversation to me, either. She was acting rather like a spoiled-ass brat. Her attitude was beginning to piss me off.
“
Tonight?”
“
Yes,” she said. “As soon as we can.”
I bit back the retort that was on the end of my tongue, one that wanted to say:
It doesn’t matter because I’m not going to be guilted into selling you the plane.
But I said nothing. Instead, Mac and I spent the next two minutes ironing out the details of where and when we would meet. She made sure to keep that angry edge to her voice as I did my absolute best not to snap back at her.
I hung up the phone, puzzled. I was angry, I was excited and, beyond all, I was confused. What the hell… had I entered some sort of time warp and became an antsy, moody teen again?
I thought about heading back out to finish my workout, but the energy just wasn’t there. Instead, I went directly to the shower and started getting ready for the first non-Hollywood date I’d had in more than four years.