Unbreak My Heart (Childhood Sweethearts Reunited) (13 page)

"I was only two years older than you, Kat. I was a kid, as well. When I left the island I missed you, but getting away from the stress of living with my father and looking out for you was a revelation. I was free to do my own thing, enjoy myself and not have to worry about anyone else. Maybe I was selfish, but I needed that freedom for a while. I was too young to bear the responsibility for your well-being."

Kate's chest quivered with shock, and she could hardly draw breath. She stepped back and dropped onto a chair. It had never occurred to her that Andre thought of their friendship as a chore, viewed her as a burden. "I'm sorry if that's all I was to you."

Andre crouched in front of her. "Christ, Kate, don't make it sound as though I didn't care. I loved you. But you've got to know it was tough on me. Especially when my father was such a difficult SOB. Just because I went a little crazy for a while when I tasted freedom, don't treat me as if I'm never to be trusted again. I tried to do the right thing. I'm trying now."

Kate leaned forward and pressed her face against his neck. He smelled wonderful, a mix of sea air, forest, and Andre. The way he had always smelled. "I've missed you so much," she whispered.

"I missed you too. Every day." Andre's large comforting hand cradled the side of her face. "I want to be with you. I love you. I've always loved you, but you must take responsibility for yourself and help me out. I can't do it all."

"What do you mean?"

"Take care of yourself, Kate. Make sensible, informed decisions about your life and your career. I know you love your baby, but don't lose yourself in that. Remember who you are and keep hold of that as well. Keiko doesn't define you any more than I did. If you don't look after yourself, you won't be a good mother to Keiko and she needs you."

Kate pushed away from Andre in a flash of anger. "I take good care of her."

"I'm not saying you don't, Kate. But from what you've told me you didn't always make sensible decisions when you were pregnant."

Gritting her teeth, Kate bit back the angry retort on the tip of her tongue. A tiny voice inside her whispered that there was a grain of truth in Andre's comment.

"And I bet you haven't thought about your health much since the birth. Have you kept your postnatal appointments?"

"I was on the run from the press!"

Andre simply gave her one of his looks. Kate pressed a hand over her eyes. Had she really been as unreasonable as Andre made her sound or was this all a smokescreen to divert her from his shortcomings? Even as the thought passed through her mind, she knew she was looking for a way to turn this around on him again.

"Have you had your postnatal examinations, Kate?" Andre persisted.

"No." The word came out grudgingly.

"Tomorrow we go to the doctor's surgery and get you checked over."

Kate leaned forward and Andre gathered her into his arms. He did care about her, but he confused her. She breathed in the smell of Andre's skin and pressed her cheek to his warm shoulder. He had wanted to get away from her, been fed up with taking responsibility for her. But he said he loved her. Now she didn't know what to think.

Chapter Seven

As Andre parked the Jaguar in the small car park next to the health center, Kate stared distractedly at the gray storm clouds. She still couldn't get her head around what Andre had said last night. He loved her. He wanted her to trust him. But he also wanted her to take responsibility for her life. Irritation ticked in her throat at that last part. What did he think she'd been doing for the last few months? She had only resorted to living in the caravan because she had nowhere else to go.

Well, that wasn't quite true. When she split with Dan, she could have gone back to her mother's cap in hand and tried to persuade her stepfather to take her in, but she had never got on with him. He thought she was irresponsible and would no doubt have imposed unreasonable conditions on her living with them.

And even though Andre said he loved her, that didn't soften the blow of discovering he'd considered her a burden. Did that mean every time he protected her from the bullies at school or defied his father to be with her, he had felt resentful? She'd turned this over in her mind constantly since they'd spoken.

The only conclusion she'd come up with was that Andre didn't like the real her. He truly wanted her to become the sophisticated, confident woman he'd tried to create with her new sleek haircut and fashionable outfits. It wasn't just for show; he hoped to change her inside as well as out.

That conclusion brought her back to the fear Robert Le Court had planted in her mind: she wasn't good enough for Andre. And it broke her heart all over again to know Andre had believed this all along, even as a boy. While she had thought everything between them was perfect, he'd longed for her to change. A hopeless sigh escaped her as she despondently stared at the rain pouring down the windshield.

"Ready, Kat?" Andre said once he'd maneuvered the car close to the doctor's surgery entrance.

"I suppose so."

"Come on. Chin up. The consultation won't be that bad."

The visit to the doctor didn't bother her. Pregnant women quickly got used to being poked and prodded in private places.

She turned around to check Keiko and instantly forgot everything else. Love and joy fluttered in her heart. Her darling baby's sweet little face was a picture of concentration as her green eyes tracked the drips down the glass. Then Kate remembered Andre telling her not to lose herself in Keiko. What the hell did he know about how wonderful it was to be a parent? He didn't understand the magic of having this little person who depended on her completely and nobody else, hers to love and treasure. She wanted to devote her life to looking after Keiko and she didn't care what Andre said. Keiko was the only thing in the world that really mattered.

"Kat," Andre said in his efficient organizing voice. "They make rain covers for Keiko's stroller. You go inside, and I'll shoot over to the baby shop and buy one."

At his words her anger with him dissolved. How could she stay mad when he was thoughtful and kind, especially to Keiko. "I wondered how we were going to protect Keiko from the rain. You must be telepathic."

"I don't think its telepathy, Kat. We're two sensible adults experiencing the same circumstances. The probability of us both noticing a shared problem is high."

She smiled indulgently. She loved the way he found a logical, scientific explanation for everything. "Rationalize it away if you want. I still think it's telepathy."

Andre glanced at the car clock. "Time for your appointment. You run in with Keiko. I'll follow with the stroller. Then I'll go and buy the rain cover. It shouldn't take me more than twenty minutes."

Kate lifted Keiko from her car seat, shielded her under her coat from the wet, and ran to the entrance lobby.

The health center had a vaulted roof, light and airy with fresh spring-green paint. Kate stood in line behind an elderly woman who smelled of cats, then checked in.

The receptionist marked Kate off on her computer and asked her to fill out a temporary resident's form. Then she looked up. Her gaze slid away over Kate's shoulder, and a dreamy, faraway expression crept into her eyes.

Kate turned to see Andre approaching with the stroller, raindrops sparkling in his dark hair. She didn't blame the woman for staring. He looked good enough to eat. He stopped beside Kate, brushed his wet hair off his forehead and gave the receptionist a dazzling smile.

"It's getting cold out there," he said, leaning toward Kate to take Keiko. Wayward strands of damp hair flopped forward. Little tingles raced up her arm where his hands touched her skin. Her head might question her feelings for Andre, but her body knew exactly what it wanted, and it involved lots of naked skin pressed together.

Kate dragged her attention away from him back to the woman on the other side of the reception desk. "Can you tell me how long I'll have to wait? It looks pretty busy."

"We've had a few emergencies this morning. The doctor's running a little late."

Andre straightened from settling Keiko in the stroller. "How late?"

The woman glanced at her computer screen. "Just under an hour, but I'm sure she's trying to catch up."

"Thank you," Kate said, wearily. Keiko was good when they were alone but tended to get restless around people. They went to the far end of the waiting room where it was quietest. Kate took off her wet coat, hung it over a chair to dry and sat down.

Andre swept a hand over his damp hair. "We're having a new computer booking system installed at the Court Royal. I'd like to look in there for a few minutes, if you don't mind. I should be back before you come out." He reached down and cradled her jaw, gently angling her face up to him. "You've been very quiet this morning. Are you okay?"

Kate shrugged.

He smiled, but it was tight with small lines of tension around his mouth and eyes. "I said more than I intended last night. Don't take it to heart."

"You must think those things if you said them."

It was his turn to shrug. "We need to put the past behind us and start afresh as adults. Not hang on to what we shared as kids. People change. We've changed, or I have anyway."

"I know," she whispered. Until last night she had regretted the changes in him and hankered after the old Andre. Now she knew the feelings she'd had for the old Andre had been based on a lie. All the while she'd thought they were perfectly suited, he'd been putting up with her clingy ways, wishing he could be free of her. So why had he given her the tiger's eye ring? She gently pushed his hand away and lowered her gaze. She would never understand men.

Andre leaned down and gripped her shoulder, put his mouth to her ear. "Whatever you're worrying about, stop it and relax." She turned to look at him and he touched his lips to hers in a brief, sweet kiss. Her breath rushed in, bringing with it the scent of his fresh, rain-dampened skin.

"See you soon." He headed toward the door, pausing to grab a newspaper lying on a chair and stuff it in his coat pocket. He scanned the waiting room, glanced back at her with a brief, tight smile and went out the door.

Kate flipped though the magazines on the nearest table, but none of them interested her. She switched to people-watching. She sketched a little boy playing on the carpet nearby, then started talking to his mother and gave her the sketch.

After twenty minutes, Andre returned with the rain cover for Keiko's stroller. He gave Kate a quick smile, said "hi", then crouched to fit it. He worked quickly, the taut lines of his body radiating tension. Each minute of silence wound Kate tighter. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing. I was just concentrating." Andre stood, brushed the creases from his coat and checked his watch. "I'll be no longer than twenty minutes at the Court Royal."

"Andre," Kate said as he turned to go again. She had known him too long to miss his uneasiness. Something was definitely amiss.

"I have to go or I'll be late to pick you up." Kate watched him disappear out the door for a second time and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. A horrible sense of unease filled her.

The hairs on the back of her neck prickled. She glanced around, expecting to see one of the photographers who'd plagued her, but there were no familiar faces. She shrugged her shoulders to shake off the discomfort.

"Excuse me." A middle-aged man had come in and sat a few chairs away from her. He angled his newspaper toward the stroller. "That's Dan Crowther's baby, isn't it?"

Kate's breath jabbed painfully. How did this man know about Keiko? Unless he'd witnessed her chaotic arrival at Andre's hotel. "Do you work at the Caspian?"

"No." His face softened in an apologetic smile. "Sorry if I startled you,
luv
." He held up his newspaper. "I was reading about you and your baby." While Kate's horrified gaze fixed on the wet tabloid paper, the man rambled on amiably. "I don't watch his program, myself. Not my sort of thing. But my daughter loves it. She wants to be a model. She talked about writing to Dan to ask if he could help her. Any chance you might pass on the letter? I'm not sure about the idea of her modeling myself, but my wife, she keeps encouraging Laura—"

"I'm not with Dan anymore." Kate interrupted him. "Can I see the article?"

"Sure." He leaned across the empty chairs and, heart pounding, she grabbed the crumpled newspaper. "Your picture's on page six."

Kate's sketchbook slipped off her lap and thudded to the floor, but she ignored it. Throat so tight she could barely swallow, she stared at the photograph of Keiko in her baby sling on Kate's chest, one of the pictures taken when she arrived at the Caspian. How dare they invade her and Keiko's privacy like this? The newspaper trembled in her hands. She should have grabbed the cameras and smashed them on the ground.

Her gaze skittered between the other two smaller photographs, one of her and Dan arguing outside his flat and another of a stick-thin model. Reigning in her instinct to shred the newspaper and stamp it into the floor, she read the article. Dan's new model girlfriend was also pregnant according to the reporter. Perhaps that news would draw attention away from Keiko. A flow of relief eased her breathing slightly. By the time Kate neared the end of the piece her heart rate had nearly returned to normal. The article wasn't as bad as she'd feared and nobody would recognize Keiko from the photo.