Unbroken (7 page)

"Are you worried about me, or yourself?" she asked.

He frowned at her.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're Mr. Fight Club," she said, borrowing Simon's nickname.  "You can take a punch or get your head slammed into a brick wall and shrug everything off.  But when it comes time to stick your neck out emotionally, you run away scared.  Every fucking time."

"That's bullshit.  I just don't want to feel responsible when this whole relationship comes crashing down.  Because it will.  That's what always happens."

"Blah, blah.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Joel," she said.  She put a hand on her hip and was leaning forward but he noticed her other hand holding onto the couch to keep her steady.  "You've had a hard life.  I get it.  Your parents were assholes, I get it.  But when are you going to stop using that as an excuse to keep from getting on with your life?  Stop living under the shadow of your past!"

"You don't know anything about me," he spat. 

"I know!" she said, her voice rising an octave as she practically shook.  "Because you won't fucking tell me anything!  So yes, I had to go look it up for myself.  Forgive me for giving a shit about my boyfriend and wanting to know more about him!" 

Boyfriend?  That wasn't something they had discussed, and he could see in her eyes as she said it that it was a slip of the tongue.  But she didn't pause for long.

"I'm just saying, when two people are together they share things about their lives, Joel.  You know way more about me than I know about you.  Like the fact that I dream of being a nurse, but probably never will because I'll never be able to afford it working at a shitty bar job.  Hell, I can't even afford a stethoscope.  But at least I've told you my dreams.  I've told you things about me that I've never told anyone.  What have you told me, Joel?  That your parents died a long time ago?  I thought that was something. Turns out that was just a lie so that you wouldn't have to open up about them.

"So go ahead," she turned her body, moving herself out from between him and the door.  "There's the door.  Run away like you always do.  Just don't expect that I'm going to be here every time to take you back.  I'm getting tired of this shit.  I want a commitment, Joel.  I want some stability.  And I think that would help you, too."

His eyes met hers and the two of them stared in silence at each other.  "Fine," he said.  Breaking their visual standoff, he walked past her without another glance and left.

She doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about anyway. 

Amber

The sun streaming in from between the
blinds sliced through Amber's eyelids and drilled into her brain, making it feel like it was splitting in half.  With one heavy arm, she pulled her bed sheet over her head in an effort to shield herself, but the pain lessened only slightly.

What the fuck?

It took her longer than it should have to remember that she was hung over and not, in fact, in the middle of a brain aneurysm.   Slowly, as she lay hidden in the humidity under the thin layer of cotton, the events of the night before began to seep back into her mind like a slow IV drip.  Thoughts of Simon and drinking came first.  Something about Karaoke.  Waking up in a cab. 

Joel
.

The pounding of her chest grew as the details of their fight flooded back, the drip now becoming a torrent.  He had come back to apologize and somehow she had let her little covert op with Simon slip out.  And then she'd called him her boyfriend.  She winced at that, but not half as much as when she remembered trying to bluff him into staying.  She'd never been a very good poker player, and Joel had called her, walking out into the night once again. 

She went over the events in her head again, more of the details filling in as the fogginess of the night was pushed away by adrenaline.  She'd said things to Joel that she should have kept to herself.  Things she'd been thinking lately, but never would have uttered if it hadn't been for the
Jägermeister
truth serum running through her veins.

Now who knows what would happen.  Would he
ever come back again?  Should she go out looking for him and apologize?  He was probably at the Rock House, or would head to a shelter near there for the night.  He wanted privacy though.  Wasn't that what the whole fight had been about?  No, if he was going to come back it needed to be on his own.  And she would just have to wait and see if he did.

She flipped the covers back over her head, releasing the trapped and stale air as cooler air from the apartment washed over her.  The contrast was almost enough to let her imagine her air conditioner was working again, at least for the few seconds until she adjusted to the new temperature and started to feel hot again.

She rolled out of bed and pulled off her sweaty clothes as she headed for a shower.  If she was going to accuse Joel of feeling sorry for himself, she should make sure she wasn't also guilty of it.  She needed to take her mind off him and their issues for a little while, at least until it was time to go back to the bar.  The fast paced and noisy environment there would definitely keep her from obsessing. 

  She veered off course and into the living room, picking up her phone and quickly dialing.

"Room 114 please," she said to the woman who answered.  She waited patiently to be connected until she heard a familiar voice on the other end.

"Hi Nana," she said, raising her voice in case the older woman wasn't wearing her hearing aid.  She tended not to wear it when she wasn't expecting company.

"Hello?  Who is this?"

"It's Amber, Nana."

"Who?"

"Amber.  Judith's daughter."

"Judy?  Is that you?"

"No, it's Amber," she sighed.  "Can I come for a visit today?"

"Of course, Judy dear.  I'd love to see you.  Is your brother coming as well?"

"No, just me," she said.  "I'll be there in an hour."

"Okay dear."

She hung up the phone, a heaviness in her chest as she walked back to the bathroom and turned on the water.  Her maternal grandmother had lived with her and her parents from the time Amber was 12, helping to raise her just as puberty was starting to confuse her world.  Nana had always been a more calming and balanced presence than her own mother, her easy-going attitude a sharp contrast to her mother's exacting expectations.  Her father had largely stayed out of most things, siding with her mother whenever he was put on the spot.

But then Alzheimer's had started when Amber was 15.  At first, they didn't really notice it.  Nana was in her seventies so it was normal that she would forget things.  But then it got worse, and she started to mix people up or to find them completely unfamiliar - often forgetting Amber entirely or confusing her with her mother Judith.  Soon she was disoriented and confused more often than not.  

When Amber was 16, her grandmother fell down the stairs, breaking her hip.  She never fully recovered from that, and needed a wheelchair from then on.  It fell to Amber to take care of her at nights while her parents worked, having shifted their jobs around so that they were more available during the day while she was at school.  She would help feed and bath her, show her pictures of the family and try to help her remember.  Mostly she just spent time with her.  It was during that time that she realized how much she enjoyed helping people, and considered becoming a nurse. 

But after high school, her family didn't have much money since they had spent a lot of it on medical bills.  Her father died of a heart attack when she was 18, and her mother ended up losing her job at around the same time.  She was able to find another one pretty quickly, but it wasn't as flexible with the hours, even though it paid more.  That meant that she wouldn't be around during the day, so Amber gave up on the idea of college altogether and got a job at the bar so she would be available for Nana until her mother came home.

Within a year, though, Nana had deteriorated too far, and was beyond her ability to care for properly.  They'd had to move her into a home.  When she left, so did Amber.

It had been too long since she'd been for a visit.  It would be the perfect thing to get her mind off of Joel.

Joel

Joel got to R
ock House just before 9 A.M. full of energy.  He was glad he had slept for hours before Amber had come home, or he'd probably be a zombie today.

After their fight, he had headed over to Neutron's, the bar that Randy, the underground fight club organizer, usually frequented.  When he had been fighting and winning, most of their nights would end at Neutron's where they would party until the wee hours of the morning.  The only reason he came along was because Randy would always be buying, flush with the night's take from all of the bets.  Joel could score some food and a couple of beers without having to dip into his own savings, and even when he had to fight the next day it was never until after dark, giving him plenty of time to rest.

Things hadn't changed, and Randy had been there celebrating with a few young fighters who Joel didn't recognize.  Randy was happy to see Joel, and even happier when he told him he wanted to fight again.  News about Joel's tournament at Golden Dragon had reached the promoter and he thought it would help spur some gambling on the man who had come so close to fighting Carlos Alvarez.  Apparently Carlos had become a big deal around town as well, as he was slated to fight in a televised event for Titan, which was rumored to often be used as a farm league for some of the bigger players like the UFC, Strikeforce or PrideFC.

Randy told Joel that he could set up a fight for that very night, and Joel had jumped at the chance to earn some money again.  He was also excited about being able to release some of his temper.  Rock House would help with that as well, but it was far more satisfying to feel his bare knuckles slam into flesh than the bounce of the rubber gloves he had to wear during practice.  He left soon after speaking with Randy and was able to get in almost three more hours of sleep, meaning he was rested and ready to go for training.

The other guys were already there and had started their warm-up by the time Joel met them at their corner of the mat.

"Got somewhere more important to be, Slater?" Blake asked as soon as the new fighter joined them.

"I thought we started at nine," he replied.

"We don't just do the bare minimum here, Slater.  That might be what you're used to, but it doesn't fly at Rock House."

"Hey, why don't you go fuck yourself?" Joel shot back.  He was in no mood for dealing with Blake being an asshole again.

Blake stopped what he was doing and walked forward, pressing his chest up against Joel.  "You want to repeat that, you freeloading rookie?"

"Sure, why don't-"

"Guys, guys, come on," Chris said, wedging his hands between the two men and pushing them apart.  "You know how Shawn feels about getting into personal fights.  You want to get kicked out?"

Blake sneered at Joel and lifted his chin before turning on his heel.  "Keep your mouth in line, Slater.  Your training gear only protects your vitals."

Joel snorted at the veiled threat, opening his mouth to reply, but a warning glare from Chris made him swallow his retort.  He was right.  Blake wasn't worth getting kicked out.  They could settle their differences when they were sparring. 

Despite the fact that he had more distracting him today than he had yesterday, Joel was able to focus his anger and emotions into his session.  Even still, when it came time to spar, he made sure to step up to Blake immediately to show the bigger man that he wasn't intimidated.

He could feel the eyes of the other fighters on them as they faced off, only half paying attention to their own matches.

As soon as they started, Blake lunged forward, just as he had last time.  Joel hadn't forgotten that opener or the man's surprising speed, though, so he was ready.  He moved quickly out of the way, throwing his elbow and catching Blake on the back as he passed.  The big man turned back around to face him before Joel could do any other damage.