Unbroken (Unarmed Trilogy #2) (28 page)

"There was no failure, my love," Will soothed as he pressed his lips against her forehead. "I love you and I love that you want to protect me, but what will the men think at my wife protecting me, especially when you are so close to the birthing bed?" The sound of her soft laugh warmed him as he cuddled her to his side. "You have not failed anyone. The men around you have failed you instead."

"You knew about Garrett and Seraphina? Even when Kendall was alive?" Tamzin asked.

"I did," Will responded as he gently led them over to the bed. "It would have done nothing to tell you, especially after Kendall's death and in your condition. You deserved to know, but I wanted you to know after you had given birth. You had been through enough."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have told Kendall and she wouldn't have married Garrett. She didn't deserve any of that. What if she had lived? She would have known her husband got a child on someone else. Do you have any idea the pain that would have caused her?" Tamzin said as she tried to pull away from his embrace, but Will kept her locked inside. "Why would you hide this?"

"Because I didn't want you to feel pain!" Will exclaimed as he placed his hand on her belly. "What Garrett did was disgusting and wrong, but other than you, he is all I have. I can't choose. You can't ask me to choose."

"You think I would do that? You believe I would be that cruel?" Tamzin said as she felt his arm sink down to wrap around her waist. "We keep secrets from each other because we don't want to hurt each other. It's noble, but it doesn't help us."

"We shouldn't keep secrets anymore," Will said as he kissed her hair. "But this needs to end. Your thoughts about Seraphina and your conspiracies. Your words are driving a wedge between myself and Garrett and if the men knew what you were saying..."

"I never meant any harm, really. I just wanted to help you. I know I don't know everything, but I never thought Garrett had been lying with Seraphina while Kendall was still alive," Tamzin said as the bitterness seeped into her voice again. "I will apologize to Seraphina and Garrett, if you think it would help, but now, I just want to rest."

"Then rest, sweetness," Will said as he unlocked his arms from around her and gently laid her against the pillows.

"Are we okay?" Tamzin asked as she felt his fingers dance up and down the smoothness of her legs. He inspected her feet, which were nearly two sizes larger than normal. This worried him, as did the swelling in her ankles, but Will merely smiled.

"We are fine, my love. Go to sleep and relax. It looks like you need it. I have to do some more research on the territory and some planning, but I will retrieve you for dinner. If you need me, I will be in the library," Will said as he gently pressed his lips against hers. She was warm against him and smelt like flowers and tea. He felt her arm come around his neck and he let himself be pulled towards the bed and her body. "You wish for me to stay?"

"You look far more tired than me," Tamzin said as her fingers traced the circles under his eyes. She smoothed his brow and touched his pale skin. "If you do not take some time to relax, you can become ill. Your cheeks are barely pink anymore."

"Do not worry yourself, sweetness," Will said as he rested his head against hers and gently ran his fingers over her stomach. "I heard you verbally attacked my mother."

"Is that another thing you will be angry about?" Tamzin asked.

"The Bradfords say we are welcome regardless, but I don't want to take any risks. These risks include chastising my mother. I appreciate your gesture, but we can't take any chances," Will explained and Tamzin nodded. "What did you say to her?"

"I told her I was angry that she only talked about what she has endured. I told her I felt that she didn't care what you had to deal with while growing up," Tamzin said as she stared at her vanity from the bed. "I refuse to apologize to her."

"I won't ask you to," Will said as he gently massaged her lower back. "After our son is born and you are able to travel again, we will return North. I am never going to travel to the South again."

"I'm sorry this hasn't worked out, Will," Tamzin said as she kissed his chest. "In a few weeks, you will have your family again. A family that will love you."

"I hope you're right," he whispered as he stared up at the ceiling. He felt his eyes slide shut and everything became calm again.

~~~

Hours later, Will and Tamzin sat in the library. Tamzin was sewing an outfit for their son, which she said would be warm enough when they moved back North. Will stood in front of the battle strategy table, with various books open and strewn about the table. The sound of Tamzin knitting was soothing, but it couldn't stop Will from clenching his teeth. He had been moving the pieces on the board when he heard the door open. Nicola came in with a grim look on her face.

"I was wondering if we could talk?" Nicola asked Will, though she also appeared to include Tamzin in that question.

"About what?" Will asked, though he didn't pay her much mind as he began to place the pieces back into place.

"About why I left. Your wife has told me that I am selfish for not trying to see what my leaving has done to you, so I want to try and atone for my actions," Nicola said as she stood tall and broad. It was then that Will decided to look his mother in the eye before he placed his hands on the table for support.

"I'm sure that will be a fascinating story, but I have more pressing matters."

"No, you don't," Nicola answered back defiantly. "I understand that you are angry with me, but you need to hear my side of the story. I'm not some heartless woman who abandoned her infant at birth."

"I prefer myself to be referred to as a newborn in the stories. It makes you sound more evil in my opinion," Will spat and Tamzin winced lightly from their argument.

"You were nearly a year old when I left," Nicola continued and Will stopped what he was doing. "Being a wife and mother at fifteen was difficult but you were such a beautiful baby. To this day, you have the bluest eyes I have ever seen and your hair was so dark, even at birth. I fell in love the second I saw you. You were bloody and screaming, but I had never seen a more breathtaking creature. You are just as handsome as I thought you would be."

Will released the clench of his jaw as he turned to look at Tamzin. She had put her knitting needle down and was watching Will intently. She looked sad for a moment, but tried to brighten when she saw him looking at her.

"For almost an entire year, you were my world. I refused a nurse after you were born, even though I was weak. You were my baby and I was your mother; I was going to feed you myself and no one would stop me. Your father liked to corral around with endless women and rarely visited you as a baby. Until you started to look like him, he refused to believe you were his son. He thought I must have slept with Willem before I left home because you began to grow in my womb so quickly after my wedding to your father. I kept your bassinet in my chambers, right next to my bed. When your father hit me or degraded me, I would look at you in your bassinet and all my sadness would melt away."

"He hit you?" Will asked as he looked up from the table. "He was always so against ill-treatment of women."

"He's done worst than hit me," Nicola said as she pulled on the upper neck of her dress to reveal a long scar from her collarbone and dipped beneath her dress. "You were crying because you were a baby and they cry, but your father came into my chambers for "his rights" and he was drunk. You wanted to be fed and I told Gregory I would submit to him, but only after I fed you. He pulled a knife on me and sliced my neck after I stopped him from going after you. Gregory is a monster. He named you after Willem to mock me, to make me feel more pain. He can fool anyone. I'm sure he fooled you, Princess." Nicola looked to Tamzin, who couldn't face her.

"What happened when you left?" Will asked, his voice uneven and his throat felt constricted. He stared at the map, stared at Thurston written in large letters in thick ink.

"As you grew bigger, no one could deny the resemblance between you and your father. You have his eyes and his build and coloring, but my hair, both in color and in curls. When Gregory began to notice, he began to pay a bit more attention to you but became angry when you wouldn't go to him. You didn't know him and you wanted to be with me instead, which was normal. You were just learning to walk when Gregory came into my chambers with a wet nurse and he told me that my services were no longer needed," Nicola said with evident pain in her voice and the tears began to flood her eyes. "I was confused and he told me that no son of his needed a woman in his life. I yelled, I screamed, I scooped you up and you wouldn't stop crying. Gregory punched me and I fell and while I was on the floor, he took you in his arms. He pressed a blade to your throat and told me that if I didn't leave, he would kill you right then. He said he could make one of his bastard children his heir..."

"I have more siblings?" Will interrupted as he turned his body away from the strategy table.

"Your father said many things to me, but I don't know if any of them are true. I certainly never saw him interact with any children or show affection to anyone," Nicola said as she adjusted her dress to recover her scar. "He told me if I left in that moment, then he would never harm you. He said if I ever came back for you, he would kill you. I tried to beg but he pressed the blade into your chest and it cut you through your clothes. I can see the scar from here," Nicola said as she approached Will and gently touched the scar on Will's chest, which could be seen in the opening of his tunic.

“I kissed your forehead and allowed his men to drag me to the stable where I was put onto a horse and rode south to home. I begged my father to send troops, to do something, but we couldn't. The Johanssons were constantly trying to invade and the Thurston soldiers stationed here were the only thing that kept us alive. I stole a sword from the armory and tried to ride North. I was going to kill Gregory and take you home with me. I was your mother. You belonged with me!" Nicola cried out.

"Willem stopped me. He said Gregory would kill me and that you needed me alive. I never healed, not completely, even after I married Willem and birthed your brother and sister. But Willem told me one day you would come home and that he would accept you. I heard stories about you over the years. You were so victorious on the battlefield, but that's all anyone ever said about you. Then you married her," Nicola nodded to Tamzin. "And then you fell in love with her and she made you so happy. And then she was poisoned and then you left for battle. Everyone heard about Thurston invasion and her killing Junior Johansson. And now here you are."

"Why didn't you say something when I first arrived?" Will asked as he leaned against the table. He didn't hear Tamzin stand up or approach him, but he felt her hands on his shoulders. "Why did you let me treat you the way I did?"

"Because I deserved it. I have racked my brains over the years and wondered what I could have done differently. I should have come back. I should have actually died trying to get to you. Willem and my father said I should try to make headway with Tamzin; she would convince you to approach me without so much anger, but she is loyal. She was right; I was more interested in conveying my own pain without acknowledging what you endured. From the scars I saw on your chest, it must have been a lot."

"He has mistreated me my whole life, but it made me into the soldier I am today. It's also allowed me to know and accept love when I really feel it," Will said as he gently took Tamzin's hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. "I thought Willem would hate me. My father severely abused you and I am of his seed. I look just like him."

"And that's where it ends, Will," Nicola said as she gently cupped his cheek. "You want to help people. You are not selfish or cruel and I have seen more love in your eyes for her than most people experience in a lifetime. You look just like Gregory, but you are nothing like him."

"What if I become like him?" Will asked as he felt his lips tremble and looked away from his mother's face.

"You won't. Men like Gregory are born the way they are. He called himself a God and that no one would ever top him, but you have," Nicola said as she smiled gently. "The day you were born, the first thing you father said was that you had a clean slate; a new version of himself was born and you didn't have the mistakes he made hanging over him. Your father is the King but the men follow you. You're bigger than your father, you are smarter than him, and one day, your reign will outlast his. I say this, not only as your mother, but as a Bradford noble, I follow you. After my father dies, you are the only King I will submit to."

"I'm not meant to be a king," Will replied despondently as he continued to stare at the map.

"No, but I knew from the second you were born, I knew you would be
the
King. You are the son of a Northerner and a Southerner, just as your son will be. You can unite the North and South again," Nicola pressed, but backed off as she saw Will's shoulders tense. "As your mother, I promise I will never leave you again. I won't allow some man to force me away from my first born child again."

"Please leave me," Will asked softly as the crushing pressure came down like a hammer on his shoulders. Tamzin's fingers gently worked his shoulders as Nicola frowned and pulled away from him.

"I know you don't believe me, but I want to be here now for you, as well as your child. I want to make up for what I have done wrong," Nicola pleaded lightly, but the look on Tamzin's face told her she was no longer welcome. Though she had told her story to Will, Tamzin still kept the woman at a distance. Her story would not make up for everything. "But until you forgive me, I will keep my distance."

She didn't say another word as she left the library and Will continued to stand at the table in complete silence.

"Do you wish for me to leave?" Tamzin asked softly as she combed her fingers through his hair. He imagined his mother would have done the same thing if she had been there when he was a child. Will could see her stomach out of the corner of his eye and he felt the overwhelming relief that Tamzin was who she was and he was not like his father; his son would never know the agony Will endured as a child that extended into adulthood. Will turned and embraced her tightly. He buried his face in her neck and with nimble fingers, he pulled on the laces of her dress.