Unbroken (Unarmed Trilogy #2) (32 page)

"Will, I'm going to need you to sit behind her and hold Tamzin up. She needs to stay in that position to push," Jacque asked as he watched Will gently lift Tamzin up and tucked himself in that space between her and the pillows. Tamzin sighed as she laid against him, happy he would be her strength during some of this.

"This is a position we haven't tried before," Tamzin said coyly as Jacque extended her legs before he and Nicola washed their hands again. "And we have never had this many people in our chambers in my state of undress."

"You uncouth girl," Will chided lightly before he pressed a kiss to her neck. Her pulse beat strongly against his lips and it gave Will hope. "Save your strength for the pushing." He felt Tamzin nod against him before she scooted up so her shoulder blades were level with his chest.

"I like being this close to you. It's been too long since we have been close like this," Tamzin said with her words slightly slurred. "I'm so hot, but I don't ever want to be far from you."

"Are you ready?" Jacque asked as Tamzin focused her attention on the healer in front of her. Her pain had been in a constant state and Will felt her press against him as she arched her legs and leaned forward. The sound of her grunting filled the chambers and Will felt his body temperature rise from the feeling of her against him. It was not from arousal, but from fear. His body was entering a fight or flight response; he wanted to flee from the potential of her dying right in his arms. He couldn't fight that if that was her fate.

Tamzin wasn't sure how it was possible, but pushing was not nearly as painful as the previous hour. She supposed it was because she was no longer waiting; what was there was now at the end of the road. It would either be a beautiful baby boy or her own mortality. All she felt was an awful burning sensation, stretching at its worst. She wished the sun was up, high in the sky, and she could stare at it from the bed. Instead, all she saw was looming blackness and it was no good omen for her.

She could feel the blood seeping out of her and she imagined the floor was slick with it below. It was a disgusting thought, but it weighed over her, like her own life slowly slipping away. Tamzin wanted to say that she was strong, but truth was that if Will was not holding her up, she would have fallen backwards. If this was exhaustion, it was a feeling she had never properly understood before.

She wanted to make some witty remark that Will would never be allowed between her legs again if this was the end result, but Tamzin felt her eyes become heavy. She felt Will push her forward and listened to Jacque's order to push, which she obeyed. Would this feeling last forever? Had she already died and this was her purgatory?

"The feet!" Jacque yelled as Will pushed her forward in his own quest to see what little of the baby could be seen. It was a very surreal sight, to see two tiny feet and some chubby legs sticking out of her body, covered in blood and mucus, but Tamzin took a deep breath and pushed the hardest she ever had. "Only a few more pushes, Tamzin."

A few more? Hadn't that push been enough? The fingers of exhaustions crept over her skin, loomed over her like a terrible nightmare as Will pressed a kiss to her sweaty hair.

"You're doing so well, love," he whispered in her ear as his hand encompassed her knee and gave her a slight squeeze. He tried to ignore how clammy her skin felt under his lips or that she was shaking. "A few more pushes and we will have our baby."

She had heard enough men describe death before it happened. Your body becomes warm and for a brief moment, nothing hurts anymore. Some spoke of a white light, others said that a feeling content spread over them like a comfortable blanket.

Tamzin felt her toes curl as she pushed again and the warmth of her blood coated her thighs. She felt Jacque grab the baby's legs and began to pull the baby from her body. The torso came next and once the shoulders were out, the baby let out a louder scream than even Tamzin could muster. She felt the relief of the pressure alleviation, but couldn't ignore the feeling the men had all described.

"It's a boy!" Nicola yelled as she handed the baby boy to Tamzin and rested him on her skin. Through her hazy sight, Tamzin looked down at her chest and her arm instantly wrapped her son in her embrace. She could tell his skin was pink, despite the blood and mucus, and on his head was a thick cap of hair.

"I told you," Tamzin said as she watched Will's large hand cover her son's head and she could see his face in her peripheral. "He is going to look just like you."

"A boy," Will croaked out as he ran his large hand up and down his son's back. The baby continued to wail, but the severity decreased when he was placed on Tamzin's bare skin. Will watched, in complete amazement, as his son clung to Tamzin and his mouth found her breast. "I'm a father."

"And I'm a mother," Tamzin cried as she watched her son feed from her, convinced that this sole moment made her a mother. She ignored the feeling of the blood still leaking out of her and the frantic way Nicola and Jacque moved around the chambers. Their son's umbilical cord had been clamped and she watched Will pull his knife from his pocket and cut the cord.

Her son sucked greedily from her and she watched Will clean him with the cloth and her son whined from the water. Tamzin found herself staring at her son's dark hair and praying harder that his hair curled like his father's more than for her own life. If this was her final moment, it was the best single moment she could hope so.

She wondered if her mother loved her this way before she died? No, she decided. There was no way anyone loved anyone else more than she loved her son now.

"Liam," she breathed, the nickname she had picked for her son in her mind. Coldness seeped through her veins and her blood felt like sludge as Tamzin felt herself lean against Will and her eyes shut. It was dark where she was.

Something Will had learned in his short life was that happiness was fleeting. One moment he was cradling his family to his chest and the next, Tamzin collapsed against him and her arms fell to her side, as Liam slid down her chest. Liam let out a loud scream as Will reached for him and stopped him from hitting Tamzin’s stomach. It happened in slow-mo; Will watched Nicola and Jacque rush towards Tamzin and Jacque pulled Will out of the bed and immediately took Liam into his arms.

“Tamzin?” Will began, his voice soft and short. It was almost a surreal sight in front of him. “Tamzin?” Will continued as he reached forward and began to shake her shoulder. She was as white as the sheet below her and he became frantic and began to violently shake her. “Wake up, love. Please wake up!” He yelled as he gripped her shoulders and jumped on top of her. He lightly slapped her cheeks, but her cheeks did not redden and she did not respond. “Tamzin!”

“Get him out of here!” Jacque yelled as he pulled Will off of Tamzin and shoved him onto the floor. Will’s eyes were blurred from his tears as he crawled back to the bed on his hands and knees. He took Tamzin’s hand in his own, cold and pale, and he pressed kisses to her wrist and her palm. He could hear the sounds of someone approaching him from behind, the clatters of the surgical utensils, and the deafening screams from Liam.

“Willem, take him out of here!” Nicola yelled as she pulled Tamzin’s body further down the bed.

“If you lay a hand on me, I will kill you,” Will growled, possessed. Will kept their hands locked together as he felt Willem took his shoulder and pulled him away. “Did you not hear my warning?” Will yelled as he elbowed Willem’s face and broke his nose. Will struggled against his stepfather, but Willem kept his arms locked around him and dragged him from the room. “Tamzin, please!”

Willem shoved Will to the ground and Will slammed his head against the wall. Crumpled on the floor, Will cradled his head in his hands and tried to block out the sounds of Liam screaming.

“Liam,” Will breathed as he tried to crawl back into the chambers, but was stopped by Garrett this time. “My son. He’s crying. I need to go to him.”

“You have a son?” Garrett asked with a smile. “He has a strong set of lungs.”

“She’s dead. I know she is,” Will nearly sobbed before he saw Willem return to his side and slid down the wall next to him. He had cloth stuffed up his nose. “Why did you make me leave?”

“Because Nicola knows what she is doing. She will save your wife,” Willem said as he reached forward and reset his nose. He grunted and more blood poured through the cloth, but he said nothing about it.

“She’s white. I don’t think she was breathing. If she is going to die, I didn’t want her to be alone,” Will said as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “I need to be with her.”

“You are a father now. Focus on that. Did you have a boy or a girl?” Willem asked.

“A boy. Tamzin said we had to name him after me, but she wants to call him Liam. It was the last thing she said before…” Will’s voice cracked and he covered his mouth and tried to hold back the vomit. He wanted to believe that something would turn around, that this was all some awful dream, but luck was not his friend. He was staring death in the face in more than one way.

“It’s a strong name, if I do say so myself,” Willem tried to tell a bad joke but nothing alleviated Will’s pain. He stared at the doorknob and thanked the stars that Liam’s cries had ended, at least temporarily. Was his son dead too? Will hadn’t been able to get the greatest look at his son and now he regretted it. Would he be burying mother and child together in the same tomb? His stomach rolled again and Will found himself emptying his stomach on the floor next to him.

“Your anxiety is getting the best of you,” Garrett said as he offered Will a handkerchief. “You have no idea what is going on on the other side of that door.”

“It is not anything good. That I know for a fact,” Will responded as he wiped the last bit of his bile from his lips. Willem handed him a bit of wine, which Will swished in his mouth, and spit out onto the floor next to the vomit. He was overworking himself, but he wasn’t stupid to do that. “I have no idea the state of my family and my people and soldiers have been slaughtered. My father is coming to kill me and ruin the Realm. It has not been a good day,” Will said as he ran his hand through his hair.

“Your plan is brilliant. I wouldn’t tell you that if it wasn’t true. And Tamzin is a strong girl. She killed Junior Johansson and walked miles in the snow while carrying your son. They are both strong,” Garrett tried to offer support to his friend, but Will waved him off.

Tears flooded Will’s eyes again as he continued to pine and ache for his impending loss. Was his mother just taking her time to find the right words to tell him that Tamzin was gone? His sweet, perfect, and loving wife had perished in the birthing bed. He could remarry and have twenty children and it would never fill the hole in his heart left by her.

Will stared at the door for hours but hadn’t realized he fell asleep until he felt someone shaking him awake. It was Jacque, his hands still covered in blood and his eyes tired. He was still cleaning his hands when he began to speak.

“Do you want the bad news first?” Jacque asked as he tucked the towel into his back pocket.

“The news is either bad or worst? I want the worst first,” Will said as he physically braced for the blow. He felt nothing. He was sure he would know if she died, like some cosmic realization would come over him. On top of that, he felt like a terrible father. He was consumed by how Tamzin was and found his son came second to that.

“She will need extra time to heal. If the birth had gone normally…” Jacque began before Will sprung to his feet. The action frightened Jacque and sent him jumping in the air.

“What? I’m sorry, I think I’m experiencing a mental breakdown…” Will said as he placed a hand on his forehead and willed his mind to clear. “What did you say?”

“Tamzin will need at least three months to heal. She needs bed rest for the next few days and then she can begin to return to normal, but rest is the most important. After three months, I suspect she will be her old self again. This happened because she was too young to have a child,” Jacque said as he reached behind him and opened the door. “The good news is that your son is very healthy. His lungs seem fully developed, he has good color, and he latched on quickly. He is a healthy weight, as well. A very good heir,” Jacque smiled. “Why do you look so surprised?”

“She was pale. She was cold. I thought she had died?” Will said as he could barely contain his smile. He felt like it was the first time he truly smiled in years and it hurt his cheeks.

“I made you a promise that I would not let her die, like I did her mother. I always keep my promises,” Jacque said grimly before he nodded towards the door. “She wants to see you.”

Will turned back to look at Willem and Garrett, who were still leaning against the wall.

“Just because bad things have happened to you before doesn’t mean they will always happen to you,” Willem said as he reached forward and placed his hand on Will’s shoulder. “I know we have just met and you have a severe distrust for male parental figures, but I want you to know I accept your child as my grandchild. He will know no different in the love I have for him that I will have for children from my own.”

“Thank you,” Will said as he reached and squeezed Willem’s hand that rested on his shoulder. “I’m sorry I broke your nose.”

“You have a son now. You cannot continue to lash out at people, physically or verbally. You are young and still growing, but it won’t serve you. That I know is true,” Willem said with a slight frown. “Everyone has their flaws, but you’re going to be someone great.”

No other words were spoken between them as Garrett reached forward and embraced Will.

“Don’t let your father ruin this for you, too. You don’t need to let the cycle continue with your own son. You deserved a real father, so let Liam have a real father. You don’t need to be like him,” Garrett whispered in his ear before he slapped his shoulder lightly. “Liam is a lucky kid. With hopefully more luck, he will look like Tamzin.”

Will laughed and shoved Garrett lightly and with good nature. Slowly, he entered the chambers and in his peripheral, he could see Tamzin on the bed. Nicola was folding sheets next to her and in Tamzin’s arms was a squirming bundle.