Unchained Memories (27 page)

Charlotte swallowed the bile rising in her throat and fought down the instinct to cry. Knowing she’d be unsuccessful, she grabbed her purse and left the office.

She walked home in a haze of confusion over her gruesome choice. She would never again experience the dizzying heights she reached while in Clay’s arms, kissing him, making love with him, adoring him. She would never love again.

****

Without remembering the steps that had brought him back to the hospital, Clay walked into the ER.

“Vic, I’m back. Any activity?”

Vic looked up from behind the admitting desk. “It’s a pretty quiet afternoon. Nothing major for the past hour.”

“Sorry I disappeared without telling you. I had an emergency.” At least it had seemed like it at the time. Now it was a
fait accompli
and he wished he hadn’t confronted Charlotte. Because now he knew the truth. And it was eating him up inside.

“No sweat. Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” he lied. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.

Vic frowned at him, but let it go, even though they rarely did office work while on duty.

He couldn’t act as if everything was okay. He needed some breathing room, some time to make peace with himself over this and move on. He scrubbed his face with his hands, a heavy sigh escaping. Yet, how could he brush all this aside and move on as if his world hadn’t just come crashing down around him? He had fallen in love with Charley. Unfortunately for him, she didn’t feel the same way.

She had fooled him. Images of their time together on Sunday flashed across his brain, as if on replay. The way she’d looked at him with those beautiful blue eyes, the way she’d clung to him when making love, the way she’d teased and sparred with him after. Could she be that great an actress? Had she missed her calling?

He sat at his desk and massaged his temple. Although, nothing short of morphine was going to make him feel better.

A knock on his door tore him from his black thoughts.

“Can I come in?” Becky asked, poking her head around the door.

She had her lab coat on with her nametag affixed to her right pocket and a stethoscope around her neck. Their uniform.

Clay nodded. He needed a break from himself anyway. “What’s up?” He tried to inject a casualness into his voice he didn’t feel.

“If you want to take off for the rest of the day, I’ll finish your shift. I just ended mine and I don’t mind a few more hours.”

“Why would I want to do that?” he practically growled.

He didn’t need sympathy, and he wasn’t enthralled about Matt sharing his ranting breakdown.

She ignored his foul mood and nasty tone and slid into a chair. “You don’t have to be Superman. Nor do you have to be an ass.” She gave him a lopsided grin, letting him know she was teasing. Her grin faded when he didn’t respond. “I ran into Matt before, and he told me you almost decked him when he told you about the lawsuit Charlotte filed against you and the hospital. So, I guess you and she are still together?”

“We’re not together,” he bit out, clenching his jaw.

She regarded him for a while before speaking again. “Are you in love with her?”

“Hell, no.” He hoped the strength of his denial assured her of the veracity of his statement. He added a derisive chuckle. “We went out a few times, that’s all. And now, that’s all it will ever be.”

“You seem disappointed.”

Disappointment didn’t come close to the emotions crashing through him. “Stop psychoanalyzing me. I’m angry because she lied to me and to Collins. She told us she wouldn’t be involved in another case against the hospital. I stupidly believed her. And I sure as hell never expected her to sue me. I’m mad at myself for being so naïve. I’m angry with her for betraying us. That’s it.”

Becky seemed to be chewing on his explanation, but not quite buying it. “You wouldn’t be so angry if you didn’t have strong feelings for her.”

Clay shot up from his chair. He had heard enough. “I have to get back to work.” He threw open the door and left her sitting there. Who was she to call him on his feelings? Just because they’d been friends for the past ten years didn’t give her the right to rub her quasi-professional conclusions in his face.

He glanced over his shoulder and she was following him with barely hidden concern on her face. In an instant he decided to take her up on her offer. “On second thought, it would be good if you took over the rest of my shift. I need some air.”

She nodded and raised her eyebrow as if his words somehow confirmed her theory. Little did she know he was immune to the drama of relationships. He didn’t need one, didn’t want one. His life revolved around saving lives. He’d made that commitment when he chose emergency room medicine and he’d kept that commitment since he’d begun. No woman was ever going to change that, no matter how bright or how beautiful.

Even if she had gotten under his skin.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Art deco ceiling lamps gave the dining area of the restaurant just the right amount of light, and the geometric patterns adorning the upholstered chairs decorated the room with a sleek modern look. For a Thursday evening, the place was packed, thanks to a recent rave review in The New York Times.

“A reservation for four under Carlton.” Brad spoke to the maître d’ in the same superior tone he used on everyone else.

Charlotte followed Annie, Brad, and Dr. Sheldon, the expert hired by their firm on one of Annie’s cases. Their table was off to the side of the dining room, giving them a little more privacy.

She usually didn’t mind business dinners, but she’d had the week from hell, and she had no unrealistic expectation things would get better soon.

Seven calls to Clay at the hospital had produced no response. Six messages on his home machine and a similar amount to his cell had the same result. She’d even stopped by the hospital to try to catch him at work, but the receptionist said he wasn’t available.

She briefly talked to Richard Collins, who had taken the high road and let her know he didn’t hold any animosity toward her for doing her job. He’d warned her, however, Clay did not and would never feel the same given his direct involvement in the suit.

She’d agonized over the impact of what had been done to the man she cared about deeply, and it played havoc on her. It made no difference she hadn’t personally added him as a defendant. The fact was, he was a defendant, and she was involved in the case.

“So, Charlotte, what do you think?” asked Brad, turning an amused look toward her, plainly knowing her mind had been elsewhere.

In no mood for games, Charlotte answered honestly. “I’m sorry, I was thinking about one of my cases. What was the question?”

Dr. Sheldon repeated his statement without rancor, and Charlotte made a concerted effort to pay closer attention to the conversation, vowing to save her depressing musings for the privacy of her own home.

Just before dessert, Charlotte excused herself to go to the ladies room. As she passed through the bar, a female voice stopped her.

“Hello, Charlotte.”

She looked at the familiar woman and smiled. Until she saw Clay sitting next to her.

“B—Becky,” Charlotte stammered, so startled, she didn’t even extend her hand. Instead she looked from her to Clay and back again, surely gaping like a fool.

Clay’s eyes shot daggers at her, but he said nothing.

“I haven’t seen you since the Montgomery’s picnic,” Becky said, heroically trying to disburse the tenseness in the air. “They’re always so much fun.”

Becky’s eyes slid to Clay and an intimate message passed between them. Charlotte’s breath caught in her throat at the personal connection they conveyed with that one tiny movement, and all at once Charlotte felt like an interloper. She glanced at Clay, hoping to see some warmth, some shred of friendly camaraderie since a week had gone by, but his face was set in stone, except for a tightening in his jaw.

“I was just heading to the ladies’ room,” she said, needing to get away for too many reasons. “It’s nice to see you again.”

She glanced at Becky when she said it, but her eyes sought Clay’s. He was no longer looking at her, but at some unknown object on the bar, ignoring her. Her gut wrenched at his pointed slight, but she knew the cause. Yet, all she wanted to do was reach over and touch his face, soften the lines etched in his forehead, the tightness in his jaw.

But she dared not, for she knew any action from her, no matter how loving, would be ignored, or even worse, rejected. The tightness in her chest threatened to suffocate her and tears stung the back of her eyes.

In a gesture that might have been unnoticeable to most, Charlotte saw Becky put her hand on Clay’s thigh. Jealousy tore through her and she stepped back. The tiny seed that had been planted at their silent communication grew into a redwood. They couldn’t be here on a date. They were colleagues at the hospital. Friends. Clay wouldn’t have taken Charlotte to bed if he had been seeing Becky. Would he? She wiped her wet palms against her skirt.

The lead in her gut grew as she remembered how Becky had fit in with the Montgomery clan. They all loved her, and she openly loved them. When Becky had first arrived at their picnic, Charlotte had felt pangs of insecurity, maybe even envy over her and Clay’s bond. But Clay had seamlessly brushed away her uncertainty with public displays of affection, not only in front of Becky but in front of his entire family.

Any niggling thoughts Charlotte may have entertained—that Clay and Becky had something going on—had been dispelled by Clay’s clear affection for Charlotte. But that was then. Had Charlotte unwittingly pushed the two of them together because of the lawsuit?

The air thickened with tension, and silence, and Charlotte knew she had to move. She could barely see her way to the ladies’ room as an aching pain blurred her eyes.

She would have to try to get Clay alone. To explain why she was involved in the case. To make him understand.

And to make him want her again.

****

Clay’s gaze followed Charlotte back to her table. She’d intentionally avoided passing him and Becky on her way back. The coward.

“Well, it didn’t take her long to find a replacement.” He felt a nerve jump in his jaw.

Becky’s eyes followed his. She laughed. “You can’t be serious. You don’t think Charlotte would be dating one of those preppy nerds, do you?”

“Why not? They’re probably in the same slimy business as her.” He couldn’t stop the anger from punctuating his words.

Becky’s eyes bore into his, as if delving into the inner workings of his brain. “I’m not one to try to analyze anyone’s state of mind. That’s not my expertise. But when Charlotte first saw you before, a spark of hope flashed across her face. I know she was talking to me, but her eyes kept seeking you out. When you wouldn’t look at her, her whole expression changed. You hurt her.”

“Give me a break, Becky. You did not see all that in the few uncomfortable minutes Charley was here.”

“Yes. I did. Maybe it’s because I’m a woman and know what it feels like to be dumped.”

Was she kidding? “I did not dump her. She’s suing me. That’s a loud and clear message she’s chosen her career over me. She pulled the plug on our relationship. And she didn’t even have the decency to tell me about it before she filed suit.” Blood pulsed in his head as the initial anger he’d experienced the other day came rushing back.

“Have you tried to talk to her about it?”

“You mean other than the day I burst into her office? No,” he bit out. “What’s the point? I know her position on malpractice cases. I don’t need to hear it again.”

“She must have a good reason for doing this. I can’t believe she would take this case against you if she didn’t. She unmistakably cares about you.”

“I know her reason for taking the case. I don’t need to hear it from her. Dr. Hauser performed the surgery on John Lincoln. He’s the same doctor who operated on her mother.”

“And her mother died,” Becky stated, as if he didn’t know that fact. “So Charlotte has a personal stake in this lawsuit. Now, it all makes sense.” She nodded. “Is any other doctor named in the suit?”

“Just me.”

Clay didn’t miss her grimace. Yet, she still tried to reason with him. “So you happen to be one of the doctors in the chain, who came into contact with Mr. Lincoln that day, right? She would never sue you if she didn’t have to.”

“And, that makes it okay? Is that what you’re saying? I’m sure if you were named as a defendant, you would not be rationalizing Charlotte’s behavior. And it’s much worse where I’m concerned. We were involved in a romantic relationship. So give me a little leeway here if I’m not as reasonable as you claim you would be.”

He spun his glass on the bar, watching the foam rise up the sides before continuing. “I understand there’s an obligation to their client to include all the doctors who were involved with Mr. Lincoln prior to his death. What I don’t understand is why Charlotte agreed to be involved in the case. She’s not the only medical malpractice associate at that firm.”

Clay grabbed his beer and took a long swallow. Hell, maybe the alcohol would soften his tone with Becky. Taking his frustrations out on her was not his intent. She was just trying to be a friend. “I really appreciate your concern over this whole thing. I’m sorry if I’m snapping at you. But I’ve come to the realization that a relationship with Charley would never work anyway. I’m too busy at work. I’m in the midst of pulling together tons of statistics for a proposal for more ER docs. Besides, I don’t want to lessen the time I’m at the community clinic. I started that clinic and I won’t let it die.” He rolled his shoulders, trying to eliminate the tension seizing his neck. “It’s all for the best.”

“Don’t give me that same old tired excuse. Yeah, it works on the women you don’t really care about. Too busy to give them what they want. Your time and maybe a ring to go with it. But I’m not buying it with Charlotte. You’ve been spending far more time with her over the last few months than you have with anyone in your past. You plainly found a connection with her. That’s hard to find. Don’t blow it, Clay.” She took his hand in hers, punctuating the seriousness of her advice. “I saw the way you looked at her when she walked away. And I can hear the pain in your voice, covered up with anger. She’s under your skin and she should be. She’s bright, beautiful, and she doesn’t roll over for you. Something drives her you may not like, but you understand it and you respect her. She’s as determined as you are in her quest to help people. Why don’t you open your eyes and stop being so stubborn?”