Unchained Memories (33 page)

“Yes, I would mind.”

She jerked her head up. “What’s with you? Why are you here?”

He strode over to her and pulled her up from her kneeling position. “Charley, you’re running away again, but there’s no reason to this time. Ten years ago, at least you had a plan. You were going to college. But now, you’ve quit your job and are leaving the people who care about you. To do what?”

She shrugged away from him, a flash of anger in her eyes. “My life is in California. I came back here to help my sister. I never intended to stay. It’s time to go back to my life, my friends. I’m sure I can get my old job back. If I want it.”

“If you’re going to continue doing med mal, do it here. You don’t have to go all the way to California to do it.” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. If agreeing to be sued by her meant she’d stay, then so be it.

“I can’t do it here. You’re here. Dr. Collins is here. I didn’t realize when I took the job at Cooper, Smith I’d be destroying the great relationships and wonderful memories of my past. In taking the job at my parents’ firm, I convinced myself I’d be keeping a piece of them alive. I could take the path they’d taken, work hard, become a well-respected attorney at the same place where they had made their mark. Maybe that would somehow fill the hole in my heart.

“Of course I knew I’d be doing medical malpractice, but I didn’t dwell on the possibility of being involved in a suit against Nassau General. And never in my wildest dreams did I contemplate being involved in a case against you.” Her voice was raw, her emotions at the surface.

Clay grimaced. “If I were a psychologist, I’d venture to say you got involved in that case to assure we’d break up. You are so damn fearful of relationships, I believe you sabotaged ours just to make sure you wouldn’t be around long enough to get hurt. You’re so intent on keeping the people who care about you at arm’s length that you’re willing to go through life without love, without connections, so you can avoid the pain of loss.”

Her silence at least acknowledged she heard him, even if she wasn’t yet willing to admit her faults.

So he pushed further. “Without trying to sound egotistical, I believe you were falling in love with me and you panicked. Working on that case assured you could walk away before you became too involved. Your fear over losing me, either by our relationship running its course, or perhaps in your mind, through an untimely death, had you searching for a way out.” He shook his head, amazed he was able to verbalize her psychological issues without her shouting a vehement denial. “You’re doing the same with Renee and the kids. You don’t want to get too close to them either, so you’re planning to fly back to California, where you don’t have a job, a home, or a family, just to keep your heart intact. Your irrational fears are driving you to make irrational decisions.”

“I am not irrational.” Anger punctuated her words, but a huge tear slid down her cheek. “My fear is based on my life and my parents’ death. I experienced the pain of losing two people who I loved unconditionally. And I don’t want to experience that again. Ever. Is that irrational?”

He moved closer to her and brushed his thumb over her cheek before tilting her chin up to look at him. “I don’t want you to experience that again either. But we’re all human. We live. We die. And we’re meant to experience love and hate and joy and sadness. We’re not meant to go through life without feeling.”

“What about you? You think you’re close to your family because you’ve paid for your brothers’ and sisters’ education. Sure, you give your money. But you don’t give your time. You’re too busy with work. You are not a shining example of how to live life.”

Touché. She’d flung the arrows right back at him.

After a few minutes, she grabbed another box and started packing again.

Clay was losing this battle. “So what’s your plan?”

“I don’t know. I’ve reached out to my old firm. But I’m not certain that’s what I want to do. After you told me about the suit against Vic by that little boy’s mother, I’ve been questioning my career choice. I may look into other areas. I just don’t know.” Her last statement came out in a whisper and she half-heartedly tossed some books into the empty box.

He ventured to touch her again, desperately wanting to fold her into his arms and hug her, but sensed she needed space. “Why don’t you take some time and think about what you want before you move three thousand miles away? There may be something that interests you here.” He held his breath, waiting for the reasonableness of his suggestion to take hold and sway her.

When she didn’t respond, he added, “I’m sure your sister would love if you’d consider it as well.”

Her shoulders slumped. “She’s been really sad that I’m leaving.”

“Jake and Eva must be, too.” He unfairly pulled them into the mix, knowing how she felt about her niece and nephew.

“I didn’t tell them yet.” The words caught in her throat.

He’d been right. If no one else could get at her emotions, they unmistakably could.

She moved away from him and absently picked up a box from the floor and put it on the dining room table.

A flashback of her face not long after her parents had died, superimposed itself on her features now. He saw the pain as it shot through her eyes, and the weight of her circumstances seemed to push all light and energy from her being.

“I have something to tell you.” He’d been struggling about whether to share his newfound knowledge with Charlotte, but now seemed the right time to divulge it. “You may have been right about your mother’s cause of death.”

Her brow furrowed and her eyes crinkled, but no words followed.

“Do you think it would help if you knew? Would it allow you to move on?” Unfortunately, it might push her to move on in the wrong direction, but it had to be her choice.

“What do you know?”

“I went to the warehouse where old records are kept. It took me a few hours to locate them, but I found your mother’s file.”

Her face paled and she backed away. Seconds went by before she found her voice. “What did you find?”

“Your mother must have hit her head in the accident. But no one did a CT scan. The records said she was alert, oriented. Although they kept her in the hospital because she had some broken bones, no one suspected a life-threatening injury. Until she went into a coma. She had a subdural hematoma, which caused her brain to herniate. She bled into her brain and died.”

“So if someone had performed a CT scan, they would have been able to save her?”

“It’s hard to know for sure. But possibly.”

“So it wasn’t Dr. Hauser’s fault that she died while he was operating?”

“No. It was too late. She had already gone into an irreversible coma. She was brain dead by the time he performed the surgery.”

Charlotte pulled out a dining room chair and sat. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“I wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do. I’m still not sure. Are you okay?”

She nodded, resignation etched on her face. “I’m fine.” After a few seconds, she looked at Clay. “Is that what happened to John Lincoln?”

“He had the same injury, but in his case, we did perform a CT scan. When the results came in, we sent him for emergency surgery. Nothing more could have been done faster or better. But it was too late.”

“So, Dr. Hauser wasn’t responsible for his death either?”

“No.”

She shook her head and gave him a wobbly smile before sinking into silence. Moments passed while Charlotte stared into a half-filled box. “I feel so empty...fragile.”

Clay went over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I just hit you with a lot of information. Once it settles in, you’ll rebound. You’re a strong woman, Charley. Even as a teen, you had the confidence and determination to leave your hometown behind and begin college in a new place. You found your career path and became an incredibly bright attorney.” He smiled at the irony in his statement. “Maybe one of the most impressive feats was helping your sister and her kids get through the most difficult time of their lives. Through it all, you never gave up or caved in. Maybe you’re feeling fragile because you’ve come to appreciate the other people in your life and you’re afraid your decisions may affect them. Maybe you shouldn’t be making decisions alone, without support, without consensus.”

A flash of anger stained her cheeks. Good. He touched a nerve. He much preferred the fired-up Charley to the sedate Charley.

“I might be doing this alone, but that’s how it’s been for me for the past ten years.” Her voice gained strength as she threw some more books into a box. “I’m going back to California as I’d always planned.”

Not good.

He turned her to face him then took her hands in his. They were cold, so he warmed them. “I know your plan to stay here was temporary, but things have changed.” He sought her eyes, bringing her into his cocoon. “Your family’s here. They love you, and you love them. You’ve found what’s been missing in your life. It’s real, and it comes from the squeals you get from Eva and Jake. It comes from the bond you’ve developed with Renee. And it comes from your past.”

Her brow furrowed over her moody blue eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Ten years ago I met a beautiful, young lady who had been through a very traumatic experience. She was not only physically but emotionally injured. I watched that young woman heal and mature and do what she had to do to reach her goals. And I watched her fly away.” He drew her hand up to his lips and kissed her fingers. “I was lucky enough to meet that woman again. This time, I can’t bear to watch you fly away.”

A knot in his throat threatened to silence him, but he wasn’t done. “Stay. Stay here in Princeton. Stay with me. I love you, Charley.”

Her beautiful blue eyes widened in shock. Then a slow, smile moved over her lips. “You love me?”

He couldn’t help smiling back. “Even though you sued me.”

Her eyes grew serious as she sought proof in his. Her intense stare pulled at his soul and he automatically lowered his mouth to capture her lips, to taste her essence, to feel her warmth and to prove his love. Her lips moved under his as she came into his space, into his world. He deepened the kiss, trying to fill the void she’d left. Her breath mingled with his and their tongues mated and danced. He moved his hands over her arms, her back, pulling her closer, pressing her into him, allowing her to feel his need, his desire.

“I love you, too,” she whispered against his lips.

The words penetrated his brain and seduced his mind. She had struck down her self-imposed directive, the directive that wouldn’t allow her to love.

Her hands traveled up his chest, scattering erotic electrons through his fevered blood. Flaming desire rushed through him. It had been too long since he’d held Charley in his arms, too long since he’d made love to her.

He broke away from her seductive mouth, trailing his lips over her cheeks and down to her neck, remembering the spot that drove her crazy. She leaned her head back, arching like a cat begging to be stroked, and he obliged, eliciting a moan that did not help in his quest to slow down.

“Where’s your bedroom?” His voice was hoarse, sex-driven.

“Down the hall,” she purred as she opened her blue eyes, heavy with desire. “I’ll take you there.”

She raised his hand to her mouth and kissed it while her eyes delved deep into his, rooting him to his place. Then she turned his hand over and kissed his palm, a simple gesture that endangered his barely-there control. The sweet agony of sensual torture rippled through every muscle, every pore, and he could only manage to speak a few words, which came out as a growl. “Take me now.”

Amusement flicked through her smoky eyes at the double meaning. “A man on a mission. I like it.”

She pulled him after her down the hallway and into a frilly, all-female bedroom. A half dozen pastel, lacy, pillows decorated the queen-sized bed, covered in white eyelet and ruffles. They had to go. Reading his mind, she pushed them onto the floor in one fell swoop, doing the same with the comforter. He grabbed her arm as she passed by him and turned her to face him. He dragged his fingers over the silky skin of her long, elegant neck before moving down to the buttons on her sweater.

“I’ve wanted to do this since you opened the front door.” He eased the top button out of its hole, then moved to the next...and the next.

Her breath quickened as he slipped his hand inside the material to cup her breast—also covered in lace—but this lace sent his blood to simmering. Her nipple hardened under his teasing fingers, and peaked through the thin fabric. So enticingly sexy.

She sought his mouth with hers, demanding and urgent as her fingers deftly untied his tie and unleashed the buttons on his dress shirt, pushing it over his shoulders and down his arms. Next, she went for his belt, and the flit of her fingers against his abdomen had his muscles tightening as if to ward off the stimulating invasion. But he didn’t want to ward it off. He wanted more, so much more.

Disposing of her sweater in the same heap as his shirt, Clay unfastened the snap on her jeans and tugged on the zipper, before easing the denim down long, gorgeous legs and over her bare feet. His breath hitched when he looked up to see the same lace as her bra on very tiny bikini panties. He swallowed, then rose and yanked off the rest of his clothes. Not very smooth, but necessary.

Charley’s hands roamed freely, almost desperately over his chest and torso, working her way down. She closed her palm around his pulsing penis, stroking it until he thought he would burst. He grabbed her wrist and moved her hand away, before picking her up and depositing her on the bed.

“I wanted to take this slow,” he said, unhooking the front of her bra and molding her breasts to fit his hands as he brushed his thumbs over their sensitive peaks, making her squirm under his caress. “But I don’t think I can manage that right now.” He hooked his fingers on either side of her hips and dragged the tiny lace patch down and off.

Sliding next to her, he slipped his hand between her legs and triumphed at her wet, welcoming sex. He moved over her and positioned himself at her opening.