Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader (63 page)

As we said earlier, Stradivari was largely responsible for establishing the standard design for modern violins. Later violin makers followed his standard…and communicated as much by labeling their violins “Stradivarius” too. This was not intended to defraud, it was just a maker's way of stating that the violin's design was inspired by Stradivari and not by Amati or some other master craftsman. Over time, the true intent of these labels was forgotten…and as a result, hundreds if not thousands of unintentionally “fake” Stradivarius violins are still in circulation.

Even the experts have been fooled: In 1999 the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford, England, had to admit that it “might” have a fake in its collection after a violin nicknamed The Messiah, previously described as “a flawless Stradivarius jewel,” was found to be made from a spruce chopped down after Stradivari's death.

“I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivari was a terrible painter.”

—Tommy Cooper, comedian

Ever wonder where words come from? Here are some more interesting stories
.

Meaning:
Something that arises or occurs after one's death
Origin:
“
Posthumous
comes from the Latin
postumu
s, ‘last' or ‘last-born,' which, strictly speaking, could be applied to the last child born of a particular mother and father, without reference to death. The
h
crept into
postumus
by association with
humus
(earth or ground) and perhaps with some help from
humare
(to bury). The modern spelling and meaning were fixed by Posthumus Leonatus, hero of Shakespeare's
Cymbeline
, who received this name, as the audience is informed at the start of the play, because he was born after his father died.” (From
Devious Derivations
, by Hugh Rawson)

Meaning:
A nickname for Americans or New Englanders

Origin:
“The exact origin is uncertain, but the idea that enjoys the largest following is that it came from Dutch
Jan Kees
—a variant of
John Kaas
, which literally meant ‘John Cheese,' an ethnic insult for a Hollander. Other ideas abound. According to James Fenimore Cooper, Indians sounded the word ‘English' as
Yengees
; whence
Yankees
. Or the word may be derived from the Scottish
yankie
, ‘dishonest person.'” (From
The Story Behind the Word
, by Morton S. Freeman)

Meaning:
A wealthy and powerful business person

Origin:
“A trumped-up Japanese title,
taikun
was a word used to magnify the role of the shogun or military commander of the country, especially when he was addressing foreigners, the point being to suggest that he was more potent and important than the emperor himself. The word meant ‘emperor' or ‘great prince,' borrowed from the Chinese
t'ai kiuen
(‘great prince').” (From
The Secret Lives of Words
, by Paul West)

Meaning:
To deliberately destroy or obstruct

Origin:
“
Sabots
are great, clumsy wooden shoes, worn by French peasants at the time of the Revolution. But
sabotage
was not invented until about 1910, during the great French railway strikes, and meant, figuratively, to throw a wooden shoe in the gears; deliberate destruction of plant and machinery by dissatisfied workers.” (From
More About Words
, by Margaret S. Ernst)

Meaning:
Evil or ominous

Origin:
“In Latin, the word had two meanings: ‘on the left side,' and ‘unfavorable.' According to Greek tradition people faced north while prophesying, so west—the left side—became the unlucky one. By the early 15th century the interpretation was ‘dishonest'; later in the 15th century it became ‘evil.' The sense ‘threatening' or ‘ominous' does not arise until the 18th century.” (From
Jesse's Word of the Day
, by Jesse Sheidlower)

Meaning:
Barely warm

Origin:
“
Luke
was a Middle English word, now obsolete, meaning ‘warm,' which was based on
lew
, another word for ‘warm.'
Lew
, in turn, was derived from the Old English word
hleow
, meaning (guess what?) ‘warm.' You have probably realized by now that lukewarm actually amounts to saying ‘warm-warm,' but this sort of redundancy is common when obsolete words are carried over into modern usage.” (From
The Word Detective
, by Evan Morris)

Meaning:
A hanging bed of cloth tied between two supports

Origin:
“The airiness and cleanliness of Taino (Native American) houses impressed the Europeans. The people slept in
hamacas
, hanging beds which Columbus described as ‘nets of cotton.' By the 17th century, these practical beds were being used by sailors onboard ship. The spelling
hammock
did not prevail until the 19th century.” (From
The Chronology of Words and Phrases'
by Linda and Roger Flavell)

More tales of outrageous blunders
.

“A Ghanaian man was shot dead by a fellow villager while testing a magic spell designed to make him bulletproof, the official Ghana News Agency reported. Aleobiga Aberima, 23, and 15 other men from Lambu village had asked a witch doctor to make them invincible to bullets.

“After smearing his body with a concoction of herbs every day for two weeks, Aberima volunteered to be shot to check if the spell had worked. It didn't. Villagers then beat the witch doctor.”

—
Fate
magazine

“In Coventry, England, nine police officers got onto an elevator on their way to a drug bust on the ninth floor of an apartment building. Unfortunately, the elevator was designed for eight people. The extra weight caused it to stop—trapping the officers between floors. For the next 45 minutes they screamed for help. Finally a neighbor heard them and announced, ‘I'll call the police.' The officers screamed back, ‘We are the police! Get the fire department!'”

—Pantograph

“A surgeon at Rhode Island Hospital operated on the wrong side of a man's brain after a CT scan was placed backward on an X-ray viewing box. The patient was fine, but the error occurred one year after a surgeon at the same hospital removed the tonsils and adenoids of a girl who was supposed to get eye surgery.”

—
Associated Press

“A Rockettes performance in New York Ciy ended abruptly when a dancer's prosthetic appendage flew into the audience. Gina Chalmers, who lost her foot in a 1999 auto accident, had been fired but was rehired after threatening a lawsuit.”

—Maxim

Toward the end of the 19th century, America was in the middle of an Industrial Age. Factories everywhere were mass-producing products using Eli Whitney's revolutionary “American System.” (See page 239.) It was only a matter of time before somebody would apply it to bicycles. (Part II is on page 286.)

Why import a product when you can build it yourself? That was the thinking of Colonel Albert Pope, a wealthy Civil War veteran. He saw the obvious demand for the penny-farthing bicycle from England and decided that he would be the one to supply it.

First he studied the mechanics of an entire fleet of European bicycles, and then hired engineers to copy their style and design. Pope's first bicycle, which he named the “Columbia,” was a durable, lightweight penny-farthing with wire spokes and rubber tires. In 1878 he rented a sewing-machine factory and started production.

The true genius behind Pope's Columbia was his use of “interchangeable parts” technology. The bicycles that were produced in Europe were handmade and welded by individual mechanics—a costly, time-consuming process that produced a slightly different bike every time. Pope standardized bicycle parts so they could be used interchangeably, making bikes easy to build and easy to repair. Soon thousands of mass-produced bicycles started rolling off Pope's assembly line. Now all he had to do was sell them.

Pope began spending money to promote the bicycle—a lot of money. He started a publication called
The Wheelman
and paid well-known journalists to write encouraging articles about the bicycle; he paid doctors to write about the health benefits associated with riding; and he helped start riding clubs. He hired Charles Pratt, a lawyer and popular author, to write a set of guidelines for the clubs. Pratt referred to bicycling as “manly” and composed
a set of rules that included proper dress, position, and responsibilities. He also established a national organization called the League of American Wheelmen.

It worked. By the 1880s, the bicycle industry was flourishing. But in creating a demand for bikes, Pope's success sparked competition—and Pope didn't like competition. So he and Pratt purchased as many bicycle patents as they could. The patents ranged from Lallement's original design for the veloce (Lallement was then back in America working as a mechanic at one of Pope's factories) to various patent improvements on wheels, spokes, and pedals. Then Pope sent Pratt across the country charging retailers licensing fees for selling Pope's products and threatening lawsuits if they refused to pay. Since most small-time shop owners couldn't afford to go to court against a big-time baron like Pope, they paid up.

But while Pope and Pratt were busy fighting to keep their newly acquired patents alive, a British engineer named James Starley was developing a breakthrough that would make Pope's high-wheeled bicycles obsolete.

In 1884 Starley developed a special chain that could connect the pedals to the axle of the bicycle's rear wheel. This development, known as “gearing,” allowed manufacturers to shift the pedals of the bicycle from the front wheel to the middle of the crossbar, eliminating the need for a high front wheel. In fact, now both wheels could be the same size—about three feet in diameter—lowering the risks to the rider. Starley dubbed his new machine the “Rover,” but the public called it the “safety bike.”

This innovation would soon combine with another: In 1888 Scottish veterinarian John Dunlop invented rubber pneumatic (air-filled) tires, making bicycles ride much smoother than ever before. The entire industry was changed overnight, and the modern bicycle was born.

The 1890s were known as the “Golden Age of Bikes.” On both sides of the Atlantic, the “miracle machine” provided people freedom they'd never before known. And the world hasn't been the same since.

• Now that the crossbar was lower, women were able to ride (the bike had been primarily designed by men…for men). But now, women had a means of escaping the house. The bike would soon become an excuse for women everywhere to shed their more restrictive clothing—such as corsets and dresses—in the pursuit of more comfortable riding. These seemingly small social changes would soon help pave the way for women's suffrage.