Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader (9 page)

We found a bunch of disgusting foods and put them in
Uncle John's Bathroom Reader For Kids Only.
Here are the leftovers.

Armour Star, the company that makes Armour hot dogs, also makes canned pork brains. The front of the label has a photo of pork brains prepared in milk gravy, and on the side of the can, Armour suggests a “delicious” recipe for eggs 'n' brains. However, once you discover that one can of brains contains 3500 mg of cholesterol—1,170% of the recommended daily value—you might want to skip the eggs (just a thought).

Tired of tuna fish? Try some Cajun Style Alligator. The Native Game Company offers a variety of meats that you won't find on the shelves of your local grocery store (available only through mail order). Pick up a can of Smoked Rattlesnake, Elk, or Buffalo
Au Jus
, for a wild all-natural taste. Some other meat to order: emu, turtle, and kangaroo.

Australia's Bronte Industries has been marketing lamb's tongues for more than three decades. The blue and gold can familiar to most Aussies reads “Bronte Tongues in Jelly.” Oddly, Bronte only advertises them in movie theaters.

People have been snacking on fresh bugs for centuries. But now, thanks to modern food technology, Sakon Nakhon Agricultural Research and Training Centre offers canned grasshoppers, locusts, water beetles, mole crickets, plain crickets, red ant eggs, and silk-worm pupae. The company explains, “Four of the products are made as crunchy snacks that go so well with a cold beer, while the ant eggs are perfect served on hot toast.” They're a good source of protein, too!

From our Dustbin of History files: Here's a true story of danger, seduction, betrayal, and a deadly escape.

Allegheny County Jail, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 1901

Jack and Ed were “the Biddle Boys,” leaders of a gang of small-time outlaws who relied more on brains than brawn to carry out their nefarious crimes. Sometimes they used chloroform to render their potential victims unconscious; sometimes they used beautiful women as distractions. They carried guns, too…just in case.

On April 12, 1901, the gang was robbing a house next to a small grocery store in Mt. Washington, Pennsylvania. A female accomplice kept the grocer occupied while the boys searched the adjoining house, looking for a pile of cash. The distraction didn't work, though—the grocer heard a noise and went to investigate. A struggle ensued, shots were fired, and the grocer ended up dead on his living-room floor. The Biddle brothers fled the scene and holed up in a safehouse, but the police soon caught up with them. After a violent shootout, the outlaws were arrested, but not before a policeman was killed. The trial was quick and the sentence severe: the Biddle Boys were to be hanged for their crimes on February 25, 1902.

Peter and Katherine Soffel were in the midst of a divorce when the Biddles arrived at the Allegheny County Jail. Katherine, who had previously spent time in an asylum, showed no interest in her husband. Instead, she spent most of her time visiting the prisoners, offering them spiritual advice and bringing them Bibles. For the
inmates, Katherine Soffel was a welcome sight. They called her “Queen of the Jail.”

She first went to see the Biddles out of curiosity; their exploits throughout the Midwest had made them somewhat notorious. Ed's charm and good looks soon won her over, though. She became infatuated and visited him more and more often, at least 25 times over the next few months, sneaking him food and books. The warden knew his wife had taken an interest in the outlaw but must not have realized just how keen an interest. He allowed her to keep visiting.

After a few months, Ed and Jack convinced Katherine that they were innocent and asked her to help them escape so they could live honest lives as coal miners in Canada. She agreed.

As luck would have it, Ed's cell could be seen from Katherine's bedroom window. The two designed a secret alphabet code with which Katherine could point to various body parts, representing different letters, and spell out messages about the warden's movements. This allowed the Biddles to devise a plan. Then they had Katherine—at great risk to herself—smuggle in two saws and a revolver.

On Wednesday night, January 29, 1902, the boys cut through their cell bars. They apprehended three guards and locked them in a cell. As they were leaving the prison, they were met by a waiting Katherine, which was
not
a part of the plan. She was supposed to lay low and meet them in Canada a month later. But Katherine, mad with love, took a page out of the Biddles' book and chloroformed her husband, then snuck away in the night. She didn't want to be away from Ed Biddle.

The warden awoke to a nasty headache and an empty house. When he was told the Biddle Boys had escaped, he knew Katherine was involved and immediately put out an all-points-bulletin on the three of them.

Meanwhile, Ed agreed to let Katherine come along, much to the dismay of Jack, who thought she'd slow them down. But Ed was the boss. They stole a horse and a sleigh from a nearby farm and made it to Cooperstown, 38 miles north of Pittsburgh. They
planned to have a quiet breakfast there and slip away unnoticed, but news of the breakout had beat them to the town. The Pennsylvania winter was harsh, and the three fugitives didn't have any warm clothes. They were easily identified and the police were now hot on their trail. They stopped for lunch in Mount Chestnut, 54 miles from Pittsburgh, and Ed and Katherine consummated their relationship. Time, however, was running out.

With their horse and sleigh, the Biddle Boys and Katherine Soffel left Mount Chestnut on the snowy afternoon of January 31, 1902. They had only traveled a few miles when a posse met them head-on at the crest of a hill. Ed stopped the sleigh, handed the reins to Katherine, and he and Jack jumped off, each with gun in hand. The sherriff told them to surrender. Ed told them to go to hell and opened fire. The lawmen responded with a hail of bullets.

When the shootout was over, Ed was shot twice, Jack 15 times, and Katherine—who had grabbed a gun and joined in the fray—was shot once by Ed after pleading for him to take her life. She didn't want to live without him.

The three were taken to nearby Butler Hospital. Katherine's wound was treatable; Ed and Jack were not so lucky. As they lay on their deathbeds, they told police varying accounts of what had happened. Ed claimed he'd never loved Katherine, that he just used her to help him escape. Katherine claimed that Ed was just saying that to protect her. Love letters he wrote her while still in prison backed her up, but only Ed knew for sure. He and Jack both died on the night of February 1, 1902.

The Biddle Boys' bodies were put on display at the Allegheny County Jail for two hours. More than 4,000 people came to see the famous bandits. Katherine served 20 months in prison and lived out the rest of her life in shame. She died a brokenhearted woman on August 30, 1909.

“We wouldn't have been captured if we hadn't stuck to the woman.”

—Jack Biddle

Proof that truth really is stranger than fiction.

“A man who becomes upset when he hears certain words was sentenced to six years in prison for shooting his girlfriend because he thought she was about to say ‘New Jersey.' Thomas Mitchell, 54, was convicted earlier this month of aggravated assault for shooting Barbara Jenkins in March 1999. Jenkins survived the attack. His relatives testified that Mitchell gets angry, curses and bangs on walls when he hears certain words or phrases, including ‘New Jersey,' ‘Snickers,' ‘Mars,' and ‘Wisconsin.'”

—Associated Press

“An Oregon man who was shot in the leg removed the bullet himself with an X-acto knife, and then sold it back to the shooter for $200 to hinder the prosecution's case against him.”

—The Bend
Bulletin

“More than 600 people were injured in this year's Stone-Throwing Festival in central India. The ritual, in which residents of two villages form groups on either side of the river Jaam and hurl stones at each other, is held every year. Last year, only 250 were injured.”

—Reuters

“Who said romance is dead? Twenty-five-year-old Paul Armstrong proposed to his girlfriend by having ‘Connie, Will You Marry Me?' tattooed on his butt, which she then discovered while giving him a massage. ‘How could I say no after that?' said Connie, a school-teacher. A week later, he discovered on her rear end the tattoo, ‘Yes!' And they were married.”

—
London Daily Telegraph

Everyone's got a question or two they'd like answered—basic stuff, like “Why is the sky blue?” Here are a few of those questions, with answers from some of the nation's top trivia experts.

Q:
Do ostriches bury their heads in the sand?

A:
“No, they do not. This ancient belief may have come about because baby ostriches often fall on the ground and stretch out their long necks when they are frightened. This largest of all birds cannot fly and therefore does need protection, but burying its head is not the answer. The ostrich's protection from danger lies in its very powerful legs and its ability to run at speeds of about 40 miles an hour.” (From
The Question and Answer Book of Nature
, by John R. Saunders)

Q:
What makes food sizzle?

A:
“There is water inside food. When you put it in a hot pan, the water comes out in tiny drops. As soon as they hit the hot pan, the drops dance around, exploding into little puffs of steam. Dancing and exploding, they make little waves in the air that travel to your ears as a sizzling sound.” (From
Why Does Popcorn Pop?
, by Catherine Ripley)