Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader (56 page)

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Authors: Bathroom Readers' Institute

The average American kid aged 5-17 has three cavities—down from 11 during the 1940s.

REVLON / Charles, Joseph & Martin Revson

Background:
According to
Everybody’s Business
, “The cosmetics giant was founded in 1932 by Charles Revson, his older brother Joseph, and Charles Lachman. A younger brother, Martin, joined the firm later. But it was Charles who led the company’s drive to the top.”

Rivalry:
“Joseph left the company in 1955 because he didn’t agree with Charles that Revlon should go public. He sold all his stock to the company for $2.5 million. (If he’d waited four years, the stock would have been worth $35 million.) Martin left in 1959 after bitter fights with his older brother. He sued the company, charging that his brother Charles ‘engaged in a practice of mistreating executives and abusing them personally.’ The brothers didn’t speak to each other for 13 years. ‘What brother?’ Charles once said. ‘I don’t have a brother.’”

KELLOGG’S / John & William Kellogg

Background:
In 1876, 25-year-old Dr. John Harvey Kellogg became head of the Battle Creek Sanitarium. His first official act was to hire his younger brother, William, as “chief clerk.” To make the institution’s vegetarian food more palatable, the brothers invented a number of foods—including Corn Flakes. Then they set up a company on the side, manufacturing and distributing their cereal around the country.

Rivalry:
John, a world-famous doctor by 1900, insisted that Kellogg’s cereals be “health foods.” So he forbade the use of white sugar. William just wanted something that would sell...and when he added sugar to the flakes while John was out of the country, the partnership fell apart. “Will set out on his own...in 1906,” writes William Poundstone in
Bigger Secrets
. “By 1909 the brothers weren’t on speaking terms. Both spent much of the next decade suing each other. These legal actions resulted in the ruling that only Will’s company could market cereal under the Kellogg’s name, and in lifelong mutual enmity for the two brothers.” When John Harvey died in 1942, the two hadn’t spoken in 33 years.

Quickie:
Robert, James, and Edward Mead Johnson started
Johnson & Johnson
in an old wallpaper factory. Edward left and started Mead Johnson, which now competes with Johnson & Johnson.

We love our freedom: Americans buy 12 million cordless phones every year.

Q & A:
ASK THE EXPERTS

More random questions and answers from America’s trivia experts
.

C
RACKING THE CODE

Q:
How did phone companies assign area codes?

A:
It seems strange that 212 is for New York City, and 213 is for Los Angeles, across the country. But in 1948, assigning area codes had nothing to do with geography; it had to do with how fast people could dial them (not punch them on a touchtone phone, but
dial
them on a rotary phone). The faster numbers—1, 2, and 3—were called “low dial-pull” numbers. They were given to large cities for one simple reason: it saved the phone company money.

“Millions of people called those cities every day. The faster each caller was able to dial his number, the less time the phone company’s switching machines would be tied up making the connection...[and] the fewer machines the phone company had to buy.

“Today, the only concern when assigning new area codes is to make them as different as possible from neighboring codes, so people won’t confuse the numbers.” (From
Know It All!
, by Ed Zotti)

BUG OFF!

Q:
How do flies walk upside down?

A:
A fly has six legs. On each leg there are two little claws that look sort of like a lobster’s claws. “Underneath the claws [are] a pair of small weblike fuzzy pads called
pulvilli
. These are functional suction pads which the fly presses to the surface to squeeze out the air and create enough suction to hold itself up. Thus, with its claws and suction pads, the little pest can walk majestically upside down.” (From
How Do Flies Walk Upside Down?
, by Martin M. Goldwyn)

STUMPED

Q:
Can you tell a tree’s age by counting the rings on a stump?

A:
Not necessarily. “In temperate climates, a single ring of light
and dark wood is usually added each year—but sometimes more than one ring is produced in a growing season, or sometimes no ring at all. If a tree loses most of its leaves from a severe insect attack or drought, it begins producing dense wood and thus completes a ring. Then if a new crop of leaves grows again that same season, another ring will be formed. In a very dry year the tree might not grow at all, and no ring would be added that year.” (From
Do Elephants Swim?
, compiled by Robert M. Jones)

Not yet, Mom: 23% of men between 35 and 39 live with their parents.

LOVE MATCH

Q:
Why is zero called
Love
in tennis?

A:
It has nothing to do with affairs of the heart. “Love is really a distortion of the French word
oeuf
, which means egg, as in goose egg.” (From
The Book of Totally Useless Information
, by Don Voorhees)

ILLOGICAL

Q:
Where did the people who created “Star Trek” come up with the name of Spock’s home planet, Vulcan?

A:
Believe it or not, astronomers were sure there actually
was
a planet called Vulcan somewhere between the planet Mercury and the sun. “Its existence—first proposed by French astronomer Urbain Jean Joseph Leverrier in 1845—was hypothesized to explain a discrepancy in Mercury’s orbit. Vulcan was even reported to have been observed once, but the observation was never confirmed. Einstein’s general theory of relativity explained Mercury’s odd orbit, and the existence of Vulcan was discredited.” (From
The Book of Answers
, by Barbara Berliner)

DARK SECRETS

Q:
What is espresso?

A:
“Espresso is Italian for ‘quick,’ and it refers to a particular way of brewing coffee. Various espresso machines have been devised, but the basic idea always is to heat water under pressure above the boiling point and then force it rapidly through the ground coffee. The hotter the water, the more flavor is extracted from the coffee. The shorter the brewing time, the less bitter the coffee.” Espresso also refers to dark-roasted types of coffee that make the best espresso brew. (From
Why Do Men Have Nipples
, by Katherine Dunn)

Crowd control: Purse-snatching is punishable by death in Haiti.

AUNT LENNA’S
PUZZLES

More conversations with my puzzle-loving auntie. Answers are on
page 663
.

M
y Aunt Lenna is quite talkative. One day she took a cab and chattered on at the driver incessantly. Finally, the man apologetically explained that his hearing aid was off, and without it he wasn’t able to make out a word she said. She stopped talking for the rest of the trip, but when she got to her destination, she realized she’d been tricked.

How did she realize this?

Aunt Lenna was chuckling.

“What’s so funny?” I asked her.

“Just a silly little puzzle,” she said.

“Tell me.”

“Okay. See if you can write the number
one hundred
using six 9’s.”

“You mean, 9-9-9-9-9-9?”

“That’s not how you do it, but those are the numbers.”

How can I do it?

“Such a pity,” said Aunt Lenna.

“What?” I asked.

“Oh, my friend’s wife passed away. It was quite sudden. He kissed her before he left for work, shut the apartment door, walked to the elevator and pressed the ground-floor button. He immediately knew his wife had died. Very sad.”

“Wait a minute,” I stopped her. “How did he know she was dead? Is he psychic?”

Aunt Lenna shook her head.

“Well, then what happened?”

What did happen?

Forest Fact: A beaver can chop down as many as 216 trees per year.

Physics isn’t my strong suit, so I was stumped when Aunt Lenna asked me this question: “Suppose there are three men on one side of a river, and someone fires a gun on the other side. One man sees the smoke from the gun; another hears the gunfire; and the third sees the bullet hit the water by his feet. Which of them knows the gun was fired first?”

Do you know the answer?

Aunt Lenna went for a walk by the water, and came back quite upset.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“Oh, it was terrible! There was a woman standing on the pier.

There were tears in her eyes. She was very angry, and she seemed indignant over some injury that had been inflicted upon her.

“I heard her cry, ‘You monster of cruelty! I’ve stayed with you too long. You’ve hurt the very foundations of my being! I’ve endured your tortures day after day. The first time we met, your ease and polish attracted me to you... and when you became my own, my friends were quite envious. But now...take a look at what I’ve suffered for your sake! You keep me from advancing myself! My standing in society has been ruined by you! If we’d never met, I might have walked in peace...but now...now we part forever!’

“And I declare, nephew, she threw something in the water. I rushed over and ...”

“Aunt Lenna! Did you call the police?!”

“Don’t be silly.”

“But I don’t understand. Who...or what did she throw off the pier?”

Do you know?

“I went to a family reunion the other day,” Aunt Lenna told me. There were 2 grandfathers, 2 grandmothers, 3 mothers, 3 fathers, 3 daughters, 3 sons, 2 mothers-in-law, 2 fathers-in-law, 1 son-in-law, 1 daughter-in-law, 2 brothers, and 2 sisters. Can you guess how many people there were?”

I thought for a moment. “Mm-m-m...I’d say, 10.”

“That’s right!” Lenna said, amazed. “How did you know?”

How did I get that number?

Fleas jump 130 times their own height—the equivalent of a human jumping a 65-story building.

FAMILIAR PHRASES

More origins of common phrases
.

T
O UNDERMINE

Meaning:
To weaken, usually secretly and gradually.

Origin:
“The term dates from the 14th century, when it was common practice for besiegers to tunnel under the foundations of a castle, either to enter it or to weaken the walls.” The tunnels were called “mines,” and the damaged walls were considered “undermined.” By the 15th century, any underhanded method used to defeat an enemy had become known as “undermining.” (From
Fighting Words
, by Christine Ammer)

TO THROW SOMEONE TO THE WOLVES

Meaning:
Abandon someone; sacrifice someone to save yourself.

Origin:
The term comes from the Victorian age, when it was popular for printmakers to depict sleighs, drawn by horses at full gallop, being chased by packs of wolves. “Traditionally, if the wolves got too close, one of the passengers was thrown out to lighten the sleigh, in hopes that the rest of the company could escape while the animals were devouring the victim.” No one’s sure if this really happened, but it resulted in a “durable metaphor.” (From
Loose Cannons and Red Herrings
, by Robert Claiborne)

TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF

Meaning:
Get a fresh start; change your ways.

Origin:
Believe it or not, the expression has nothing to do with leaves from a plant; it refers to the “leaves” (pages) in a
book
—“the turning to a blank page in a [journal or] exercise book where one can start one’s work anew. Figuratively, such a fresh start gives the possibility of learning a new lesson in the book of life’s principles: a chance to begin again and mend one’s ways.” (From
Getting to the Roots
, by Martin Manser)

Pigs and humans are the only animals that get sunburned.

PRIMETIME PROVERBS

TV comments about everyday life. From
Primetime Proverbs,
by Jack Mingo and John Javna
.

ON RAISING KIDS:

Fred Sanford:
“Didn’t you learn anything being my son? Who do you think I’m doing this all for?”

Lamont Sanford:
“Yourself.”

Fred:
“Yeah, you learned something.”


“Sanford and Son”

Sophia:
“She’s always tellin’ me what to do!”

Rocco:
“Don’t worry. My daughter treats me the same way.”

Sophia:
“Kids. Once they’re over fifty, they think they know everything.”


“The Golden Girls”

ON PETS:

“He who lies down with dogs gets up with fleas.”

—Herman Munster,
“The Munsters”

Morticia Addams:
“Now Pugsley darling, who could be closer than a boy and his mother?”

Pugsley Addams:
“A boy and his octopus?”

Morticia
[smiling]: “Hmmm... Perhaps.”


“The Addams Family”

ON MAKEUP:

“City women is spoiled rotten. All they think about is smearin’ themselves with beauty grease. Fancy smellin’ renderin’s. Why, if you was to hug one of ’em, she’d squirt out of yore arms like a prune pit!”

—Granny,
“The Beverly Hillbillies”

“I haven’t worn makeup in years. It takes away that unnatural look that we girls like.”

—Lily Munster,
“The Munsters”

ON SCIENCE:

“The roots of physical aggression found in the male species are in the DNA molecule itself. In fact, the very letters, D-N-A, are an acronym for ‘Dames Are Not Agressors.’”

—Cliff Claven,
“Cheers”

Aesop, Jr.:
“There’s no fuel like an old fuel!”

Aesop, Sr.:
“Hmmm...I
gas
you’re right.”


“The Bullwinkle Show”

Trap 40 fireflies in a jar and they’ll generate enough light for you to read by.

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