Unconditionally (Brown County #4) (5 page)

“Oh, Toby, I know you wouldn’t. But I was too ashamed and scared to tell anyone. But that was then and this is now. And for now I think this is getting a little too heavy, especially for all of Franklin Street to be witnessing. How about we move this back into the store while I get you that slice of pie.”

“Girl, you’d better make that two. First decorating and then getting all riled up, I can literally feel myself withering away to nothing. You need to build back up my strength and stamina by giving me pie!”

I tried retreating into the store so I could claim my pie when Emmy stopped me short by tugging on my arm. She placed herself in front of me and with empathy swimming in the depths of her eyes she raised her hand to caress my cheek.

“Toby, I think I know why you were so dejected yesterday and I just wanted to let you know that it is absolutely without a doubt their loss. Connie and Martin Morgan don’t know what an extraordinary and pure person they are missing out on. I’m so overly proud of you and your accomplishments, and not letting anyone’s harsh words or actions get you down. You my friend will persevere and excel in everything you do because that is just who you are. One day you will find your special someone who will devote their time and love to you wholeheartedly just as you will to them.”

Toby

Bzzzzz…

Bzzzzz…

My phone vibrated across my coffee table and I didn’t even make a move from my position on my couch to see who it was.

I already knew.

Gio’s personal ringtone was that of the vibration sound. It became too much hearing my phone ring sometimes several times a day with his personal ringtone so I just switched his to vibrate.

His signature tone used to be “Home” by Daughtry and it would kill me if I still had to listen to that today.

I really wondered when and if the phone calls would ever quit. Why couldn’t he just view things from my perspective? Because from my perspective, the calls were getting a little too stalkerish.

Things were great between us behind closed doors and had been since we’d hit it off. But that was the extent of it,
behind closed doors
. I understood that he was still “in the closet” but the way he would act out in public if I had brushed up against him, was absolutely repulsive. Seeing some of the same movements and facial expressions come from him as they did my parents wasn’t good for my self-esteem or my heart.

In the back of my mind, I wanted so badly for him to admit it to himself and to the world who he was so we could be wholly together, but there was always that little devil that sat upon my shoulder, feeding me lines telling me otherwise. And eventually that little devil won. How that little part of my subconscious would know that Gio would never commit himself to me, I would never fully understand. But damn if it wasn’t right.

It was all my fault that I wanted to simply hold his hand in the darkened movie theater which led to the explosive argument that had me verbally expressing my love to him. I yelled it in his face that I loved him, which even though it was the God’s honest truth, I knew now that it wasn’t the right way to go about it. But he wasn’t hearing me so I had to do something quickly to get him to listen.

He listened alright. He immediately froze once those words left my lips and it was then I knew that we were over. Gio couldn’t return the words, he in fact had two very different words from mine. “I’m done.”

It was then he walked out of my house and out of my life only to be seen by me the next night playing an intense version of tonsil hockey with half of the drag queens at Big Pete’s.

That was the day I showed my weakness to the entire world. Well, not the entire world, just the entire bar. I didn’t know what caused me to call Maggie, but I just knew that she would understand. And in the back of my mind it was to make her mad at Gio as well, childish of me I know but my world had just been torn in two.

Since then, Gio has come out to his parents and brother and that was about the time the phone calls from him started back up saying he wanted a second chance. Why couldn’t he just try to make amends and then move on with his life instead of just further torturing mine? I was still in love with the bastard but I just couldn’t bring my heart to let him in a second time only to end up possibly being obliterated again later.

I needed a night out and some fun with my girlfriends. As my fingers flew across the screen of my phone, one text to Tessa about getting the Brown County Babes together, a lovely little name I came up with for our group, and the rest of the night was history.

After freshly showering and styling my hair again to perfection, I took a long look in the mirror at the stubble that was steadily growing on the lower portion of my face. I had never not once gone an entire day without shaving and it was now closing in on a day and a half. Inspecting it closely, I came to the conclusion that it didn’t actually look half bad. I would conduct an experiment and see what it would look like after a couple of days. If it became itchy and irritating then it would be a no-brainer that it would have to go. But for now it was something different and new, and possibly just what I needed at the time. I wasn’t going to get all wild and change my entire wardrobe or heaven forbid get a dog, I didn’t need that drastic of a change, but this could just possibly be the ticket.

I put on my pants one leg at a time because that is what everyone did. See I was just like everyone else, I even put on my clothes the same way. I may not dress to everyone’s liking or be attracted to members of the opposite sex, but I was still just like everyone else.

On my wardrobe selection, I was worse than a girl with the amount of time I took to make a decision on what to wear. And in the end it would normally be the very first outfit I selected from my closet.

Finally settling on a pair of distressed skinny jeans, a button down oxford shirt, a vest—because they looked amazing on me—and I rounded out the look with my newest pair of Cole Haan loafers. I knew how to splurge on different pieces to accentuate my wardrobe, and could seriously shop with the best of them.

Arriving at Emmy Lou’s just a few minutes late, I liked to make a grand entrance and normally arrived fashionably late, it wasn’t hard to spot the table that the girls had occupied.

Tessa promptly stood waving her hands in the air trying to get my attention. It was customary for me to make a sweep of the entire establishment so I could see who all was occupying the bar. So far no one was standing out to me so I made my way towards the ladies and took a seat in the empty spot next to Sheridan.

The ladies looked absolutely beautiful in their selective attires. Being mothers now, they didn’t often get the opportunity to dress up so they would take any chance to do so that they could get.

Maggie and Sheridan both had on some kind of dress/skirt ensemble while Tessa and Emmalynne were rocking some jeans and cute blouses. They have learned from the best and I couldn’t be more proud of their selections.

“Hiya, dolls,” I said to each one of them. I liked using that chosen term of endearment for the girls, I’ve learned that it makes them feel special which each and every one of them are and each in their own way.

“Toby, late as usual. I’ve taken the liberty of ordering you a Cosmo, I hope that’s alright.”

“That actually sounds a bit perfect, Tessa.”

I took a sip from the Martini glass and the cool liquid slid down my throat warming me up in all the right places. There wasn’t a live band playing this evening so the music began blaring throughout the bar infusing the beats into everyone’s pores.

It was then that Britney Spears’s hushed voice came through the speakers beginning the words to “Boys.”

An open palm slammed down on the table and I unceremoniously knew the next five words that were going to come out of a certain insane blonde’s mouth. Cue my eye roll now.

“This song is my jam!” Tessa screeched while scooting the legs to the chair away from the table allowing her to unleash the dance diva.

“Oh dear God,” I muttered under my breath while darting my eyes to the other three girls who remained seated. Most, if not all of them, knew about Tessa’s crazy dance moves and even quirkier sayings. It was just part of the fabulousness that was Tessa Monroe. I sure did give her husband Brock some mad props, because she gave a new meaning to the term hot mess.

We all had to quickly make our way to the makeshift dance floor to help cover Tessa and make sure that she didn’t knock anyone over with her jerky dance movements. Somehow in her mind, she thought she was God’s gift as the ultimate dancer. I couldn’t tell you where or when she got that idea engrained into her brain, we just tried to embrace her
uniqueness.

Grady was working tonight which meant that Em’s kids were either with her dad, Sam, or with Brock’s parents, as I’m sure that was where Tessa’s son Blake was. So you knew that Grady’s main focus tonight was keeping dibs on Emmalynne as he manned the bar.

Most people in town knew who we were and who the girls’ significant others were, so normally they didn’t have anything to worry about while showing off their dance moves on the floor. But there was sometimes always that outsider who didn’t hesitate in trying to get up on one of the ladies, that was where I came in. Most of the time if the girls danced with and around me no one bothered us and the way things were looking tonight it would be pretty calm.

Several different songs had passed and “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé came on, which was MY jam, but I didn’t have to express that every single song.

“Damn, this one is my—”

“NO! We definitely know by now, Tessa!” Maggie yelled immediately cutting her off mid-sentence. Maggie raising her voice shocked the hell out of me but I was thankful for her announcing her displeasure. She was one of the most reserved women that I knew and it took her a good while to break out of her shell towards us. She was a shy and delicate bud when we first met and she’s bloomed into a vibrant and loving flower. Everyone needed a Maggie in their lives and I couldn’t be more thankful for Charlie bringing her into ours.

“Fine… Sheesh. Leave it to you to be outspoken now!”

Simultaneous laughs and giggles erupted between the five of us as we carried on dancing to an amazing tune!

Now you would think that someone with my extensive characteristic credentials would be able to pull off some pretty spectacular dance moves. You would be dead wrong, my dancing was in fact subpar at best. Although while on the stage I have mastered a few repetitive movements, most of the time it was as simple as doing the two-step. I supposed that I couldn’t excel in
everything
as depressing as that was. But it didn’t matter, my friends didn’t care if I couldn’t conquer the Dougie and tripped over my own two feet at doing the Wobble, they loved me for me.

Someone came up next to me and shoulder checked me as they pushed in between the crowd that I was amongst. Seeing the bleach blonde mangled tresses from the back I didn’t need any confirmation from her face as to who they belonged to.

“Well, well, well… If this isn’t a picturesque bunch. But don’t you think this song is just a wee bit inappropriate since none of you are single?” Tracy the town whore for lack of a better term turned towards me, “And those who are single, aren’t a lady…” She puckered up her lips which just further enhanced the ugly shade of lipstick that she obviously didn’t know how to apply since it was inhabiting more of her teeth and face than it was her lips. Did she actually think she was hurting my feelings?

Quickly turning her attention to Sheridan, “What would Mike think of you out here flaunting your ass while he is at home taking care of
your
illegitimate child, Sheridan?”

There it was, her reason for exposing her teeth out towards us tonight. Jealousy was a hideous green bitch and it just reared its ugly head. Tracy tried to sink her claws into Mike some time ago only to end in failure. Extreme failure.

Sheridan’s eyes went wide as she let out a loud gasp. I didn’t know what was going to take place here, but I wasn’t going to allow one of my girls to stoop down to her level.