Unconventional Scars (20 page)

“What is it, baby? You can tell me.”

“I, um . . . just thought you should know.
I have some . . .
uh, some
condoms in my dresser drawer. If you need them.”

“What the heck are you doing with condoms?” He seemed genuinely surprised.

“Uncle Phil bought them for me.”

“
What?
”

“The day after . . . you know . . . he walked in on us.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he saw this coming.” She could feel his body shake as he
laughed
.

“No pun intended, right?”

Anna tried to stifle a giggle. It
was
kind of funny, when you thought about it. “He said he just wanted me to be safe. In case, you know . . .”

“I know. That was very . . . um . . . commendable of him. Although I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look him in the eye again.”

“
Well, i
t’s not like he
’d ever know whether we were
using them, you know.”

“I have no intention of using them.” Alex
ran a finger
slowly across
her lips.
Anna tensed.

“Well, I’m not on the pill and I have no intention of winding up like Bailey. Just so you know.”

“You’re not going to get pregnant because we’re not going to have sex,” he told her gently.

“Oh.” Anna had never felt more foolish in her life. She also felt as though there was no way,
no way
, she was
ever
going to understand the male mind.
Never!
Wasn’t sex all a seventeen-year-old boy was supposed to think about? How could she have been so
stupid
?

“Anna.” Alex took her chin in his hand, urging her to look at him. “
Sweetheart.
Don’t misunderstand. I want you. I want you so much it hurts. But . . . it’s just not the right time for us yet. There are some things you need to know about me before we can take that step. We don’t have to rush things.”

She was even more confused than ever. “What . . . things?”

“Nothing we need to get into tonight. Just . . . know that
I love you.
Can that be enough for now?”

It was more than enough
. It was all she could ever want out of life.

“Alex . . . I love you too . . .”

“I can still make you feel good,” he murmured softly into her ear. “Would you like that?”

Oh God oh God oh God.
She had no way of knowing how to answer that
, what to say
.
Instead of replying, she snuggled closer to him.

His lips found hers again, kissing her more leisurely this time, sucking gently on her lower lip, eventually sliding his tongue deep into her mouth. His hand
left her waist, traveling upward to explor
e
delicately with his fingers.
She wondered
if he could feel the pounding of her heart. Surely he must.
It was amazing the reaction he could elicit from her so easily, just by the
touch of his smooth fingertips
.

He looked
into her glazed eyes.
“Do you want me to stop?”

“I . . . I don’t know,” she responded simply, honestly. She didn’t, of
course
she didn’t, but she was afraid.

His hand reached down to
lightly brush
her belly, causing her to jump nervously. He laughed softly. “I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do, love. You can relax. You’re safe with me.”

She
felt
safe.

And when she finally shed her inhibitions, when he finally touched her in a way that sent her over the edge, she didn’t care if the very
universe collapsed
so long as she was in his arms
forever
after
.

****

They lay there together afterwards, face to face, her fingers brushing the silky strands of his hair while they waited for their pulses to slow. Anna had never loved him more.

After some time, he spoke. “Maybe we should go downstairs. We’ll be here all night if you keep looking at me that way.”

“What way?”

“All sleepy and sexy and stuff.”

“
You’re
the sexy one. I’ve always thought so.”

“Is that right? You mean we could have been doing this all along?”

“I’m pleading the fifth on that one, you deviant man.”

“So I’m deviant now? You’re the one who’s lying there naked. Not me.”

She flushed pink and pulled the sheet closer around her. “Why don’t you go on down while I get dressed. Okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” With a sanguine grin, Alex hopped up and sauntered off downstairs
.

Later, they watched
A Nightmare on Elm Street
while eating licorice whips, and talked about everything under the sun, like how creepy dreams could be, and whether UFO’s really existed, and how horses could manage to sleep standing up. Nothing serious or important because who wanted to waste a glorious summer on anything other than triviality? The funeral had been enough of a melancholy interruption. Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was irresponsible, but so what? This was their time.

****

A
lex’s cell phone rang some hours later, waking him. They’d fallen asleep somewhere near the end of
Attack of the Mushroom People
. “Huh?” he mumbled groggily into the phone, looking down at Anna who was slumbering peacefully, her head resting on his thigh. Her hair had fallen over her face, and he brushed it back gently. She began to stir.

“Where the hell have you been? Do you know what time it is?” It was Creed, sounding cranky.

“Time?”

“It’s two o’clock in the morning! Mom will be home any minute. I’m surprised she isn’t already. Where are you?”

“Oh. Ah . . .”

“Never mind, I know where you are. You better get your ass home fast, because if she finds out you’ve been over there all night you know she’s gonna flip.”

“On my way.” He slid the phone back into his pants pocket.

“Who was that?” Anna sat up, rubbing her eyes. “What time is it?”

“It’s late,” he told her. “We fell asleep. That was Creed. I need to get home before my mom does.” He kissed her forehead. “Go on up to bed, sleepyhead. Call me when you wake up in the morning. Or afternoon.”

“M-kay.” She followed him to the front door, blinking drowsily.

“Be sure and lock it,” he reminded her, and with a last quick kiss, he headed home. Dark as it was, he didn’t notice the black car that blended into the night.

****

Two o’clock in the morning and some guy is just now leaving her house. Well, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it? It’ll just make it that much easier to remain detached.

Doesn’t appear her mother’s
gonna show up
, after all. Well, it was a long shot. I have a feeling the kid will know where to find her, though. I just have to get her alone. She might not want to talk, but I’m quite sure I can change her mind.

15

His brother glared at him when he walked through the door. Alex just grinned.

“Well, I can see someone had fun tonight.”

“Someone did.”

“Am I to assume, then, that she’s aware of the situation and is okay with it?”

Alex sighed. “Seriously, dude, you are starting to sound like a broken record. Would you get off my back? I’ll tell her when I tell her.”

“She still has no idea.”

“Nope.”

Creed shook his head helplessly. “I don’t even know who I’m looking at anymore.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, I can’t believe you’re stringing this girl along the way you are. It’s sick.”

This made Alex mad. “Who the hell are you to accuse me of stringing her along? What makes you so ethical all of a sudden? I don’t exactly see you treating Jennifer all that great!”

“At least Jennifer knows what she’s getting with me!”

“Well, isn’t she the lucky one!”

“You know what, that’s beside the point
!
Have you even stopped for one second to consider Mom? Don’t you think she’s already been through enough crap with you?”

“Mom doesn’t live in the past, unlike you!”

“That’s bullshit!”

“Is it?
You’re
the one who was so damn afraid people would find out about me!
You’re
the one who told me to keep this shit under wraps because you didn’t want to have to move again! God forbid my petty problems inconvenience your charmed life! And now you want to throw Mom in my face but you know what, she’s
over
it already, I think
you’re
the one with the problem and you always have been! So now, what, suddenly you have a change of heart and you think I should advertise my personal business? Maybe you should make up your fucking mind!”

“Maybe you should have just stayed away from that girl in the first place, like I told you to!”

“And maybe it’s none of your goddamned business!”

“You’re right, it’s not! I’m not in high school anymore - I don’t have to deal with it, you do! So go get yourself nearly killed again and see if I care.”

“You don’t even make sense! Could you at least
try
to be consistent? One minute you’re pissed at me for not telling her, the next you’re panicking because somebody might find out. I don’t know what you want from me, Creed. I don’t! But I can tell you one thing - I’m sick and tired of trying to protect you.”

Creed looked stunned. Quietly, he said, “I always thought I was protecting you.”

Alex slumped into a kitchen chair. He folded his hands together and stared at them without speaking.

His brother sat beside him. He was calmer now. “Surely you knew that, right? Please tell me you know I was never ashamed of you or anything like that. I just didn’t want to see you hurt again.”

“Yeah. Well . . . I guess getting hurt is probably inevitable, huh?”

“I don’t have all the answers.”

“I love her, man.”

“I know you do.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“The rules have changed now, Lex. There’s someone else who could get hurt by this, someone besides us, and she doesn’t deserve it. You know you have to stop putting this off. Make a decision. The longer you drag this out, the harder it’s going to be. For both of you.”

“She’s gonna hate me, Creed.”

“She’ll find out eventually. Don’t let her find out the hard way.”

****

When the doorbell rang early the next morning, Anna was annoyed. For some reason she assumed it was Bailey, only because she’d done this once before. Apparently waking people up at the crack of dawn on Sundays was going to be a new habit with the girl.

After the second ring, she realized Uncle Phil hadn’t made it home from Lisa’s yet, and even though she was still half
asleep, she stumbled downstairs and opened the door.

It wasn’t Bailey.

The middle-aged man in the three-piece suit smiled pleasantly at her. “Miss Moore?”

“Yes?”

“You are Anneliese Moore, then?”

Oh
,
no. What now?
“Yes sir, that’s me.”

The man flashed a badge quickly and said, “Miss, I’m special agent Luke Maxwell with the FBI. If you don’t mind, I have a few questions regarding your mother, Bianca Moore. Do you mind if I come in?”

“Oh.
Well
. . . nobody’s home right now. Is it okay if we talk out on the porch?”

“Certainly, that would be fine.”

Anna pulled the front door shut behind her and took a few steps out onto the porch in her bare feet and pajamas. “You’ll have to excuse the way I look. It’s kind of early.”

Agent Maxwell laughed. “It’s nearly ten.”

“It is? Oh. I didn’t realize it was that late.”

“Rough night?”

She smiled, recalling the reason she’d been up so late. Rough would
definitely
not be the word she’d have used to describe her evening. “Sort of.”

“I understand. This won’t take long.” He leaned against the porch railing casually and pulled a small notepad out of his pocket. “When was the last time you saw your mother?”

“It was . . . I’m not sure of the exact date . . . it was
end of February
. She was at home the night before . . . before I came home from school the next day and found her gone.”