Uncovering You: The Complete Series (Mega Box Set) (181 page)

I’m on the couch. I only stopped to close my eyes for a few seconds after packing last night…

“James.” I squint to make him out better. “You’re not supposed to be here until tomorrow.”

“THAT’S WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY?” he shouts.

I shy back.

“I leave for a weekend and you decide it’s the perfect time to pack up and leave without a care, is that right? Where did you think you’d go, Celeste? Huh? Back to live with Summer? Last I checked, the two of you weren’t on speaking terms. And don’t think
I
haven’t seen her. She’s one of my TAs! I’ve noticed the way you two won’t look at each other in lecture. She’s like a cat brought to water with you, and you’re the same with her!”

“Please, don’t be mad,” I say softly. My head hurts and my throat is sore from throwing up all of yesterday. “Please, don’t be angry.”

“Mad? Angry? No, Celeste. I’m neither of those. I’m furious!” He stalks toward me.

I stand in alarm.

“Sit down,” he growls. He grabs my wrist and yanks me back to where I was. “You and I are going to have a good long talk, Celeste.
The
talk. The one you’ve been avoiding this whole time.”

“We made a deal,” I protest. “James, you’re overreacting. We had fun, didn’t we? We had a great time.
I
had a great time. We lived together. We laughed, we fucked, we didn’t fight. We had that—all of that—for a good solid month. But I’m starting to feel like a squatter. It’s time for me to move on.”

“Move on?” he scoffs. “Move on to what, Celeste? You’re right, we did have a deal. I kept up my end of the bargain the whole way through. I watched as you got sicker and sicker. I didn’t ask. I saw you getting thinner, frailer, weaker. I didn’t ask. But now, I come home, and I find this?” He gestures at my packed belongings in disgust. “And what do you expect me to do? Let you go without a word? No. And no, I’m not blind, Celeste. You put up a strong front, but I know you’re hurting inside. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, because, for some inane reason, you refuse to say.”

“I have my reason—”

“No,” he barks. He gestures at the boxes again. “All this shit is
you
breaking the rules, Celeste. I’m not going to hold my tongue any more. So tell me. Straight up, once and for all. What. Are you. Trying. To hide?”

He stops talking and looks at me. Such intensity, such passion, such fury rages in his eyes. It’s almost enough to make me cave. Almost, almost…

I can feel the words coming to my tongue, feel them building inside me, desperate to come out. I can feel the admission rising to the surface,
begging
to be let free. Hasn’t James proven that I don’t have to be alone? Hasn’t he shown me that he cares?

Dear God, I so want to tell him.

I open my mouth… and a lie tumbles out.

“Nothing,” I say. “I’m not hiding anything. And it’s none of your goddamn business anyway!”

I surge up—and instantly feel dizzy.

Shit, I think. Bad move.

The blood has drained from my head. I blink through the white stars—and fall back down, hard.

James scooches closer. His face is… it’s almost pitiful.

“Celeste,” he says. He touches my cheek. “Tell me.”

Tears sting my eyes.

“No.”

I look away.

I feel so helpless, so dumb, so fucking weak. I hate the indecision tearing through me. I hate that I have to fight the urge to look at James and tell him everything.

Really
everything: about my past, about my health, about my mom, about Brad, about everything that happened in college and changed who I am.

I want to tell him about my childhood spent in the hospital beds. I want to tell him my dreams of becoming a writer. I want to tell him how much I look up to him.

I want to tell him that I…

That I love him.

“Goddammit,” I mutter. I wipe at my eyes, confused and angry. “Motherfucking goddammit.”

“Tell me,” James coaxes. He eases an arm around my shoulders. “Tell me what’s wrong with you, baby. I won’t run. I won’t let you go. I’ll only try to help.”

I sniffle and turn to look at him through watery eyes.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
I think.

He watches me intently. He waits.

“It’s really that obvious, huh?” I whisper.

He gives a short smile and a gentle nod. “I’ve respected your boundaries, Celeste, just like you asked. But I’m worried about you. I know you’re used to being alone.” He takes my hand. “You don’t have to be, anymore.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” I mumble. I lean forward, toward him. “You don’t know who I am.”

“Only because you haven’t let me know the person inside,” he says. He puts his forehead to mine. “Please, let me be the one you share with, Celeste.”

I close my eyes. A tear leaks down my cheek.

James wipes it away with his thumb. “Tell me.”

I swallow once. His hand moves to the back of my head. He cradles, then me pulls me toward him, gently.

Our lips touch. He kisses me so softly, so sweetly, that I’m a goner. My defenses crumble.

I melt in his arms.

My eyes flutter open. I look at him. I touch his cheek, trace his jawline. I stare into those beautiful green eyes that seduced me at the end of summer.

“I think,” I whisper, “that I’m falling for you.”

I tense up as soon as the words leave my lips.

Feelings
: They’ve been my greatest enemy since Brad. I’ve done everything I could to avoid them… But, it’s impossible with James.

“Oh, sweetie,” he whispers. “That’s what you’re afraid of?”

I give a feeble nod.

“Well, let me tell you a secret.” He holds me by the shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes. “I fell for you a long, long time ago.”

I stare at him. “When?”

He gives a crooked smile. “The moment I heard you laugh.”

“Wait, wait, James, you still don’t know me—”

“I
do
,” he insists. “Have you seen me with another woman? I’ve just been cautious of saying anything for fear of pushing you away.”

I can barely believe my ears. Here is
James
, the most spectacular, wonderful, handsome, sweet and caring and amazing man admitting he has feeling for little old
me
?

“You were afraid of that?” I whisper. I sniffle again, feeling this overwhelming bloom of happiness swell up inside. It’s tinged by darkness that tells me, deep down, that we can never have an
ever-after.

But for now, I choose to ignore it.

“I knew you’d try to run,” he admits. “I knew it would happen eventually. You said as much when we began. You made me swear I wouldn’t follow you. But damn, Celeste, if I can ever make good on that.

“And then I came home and saw you packed, and I freaked the fuck out. I couldn’t stand to lose you over nothing. You matter to me, Celeste. You’re more important than all the awards and any of the accolades I’ve gotten.

“You know, it’s a little bit astounding. It shouldn’t be this way. I mean, you haven’t told me a thing about you. Your entire past is shrouded in blackness. But it doesn’t matter, Celeste. Do you see?”

I exhale. “I feel the same way about you,” I say softly.

He holds me tight. “So let’s change that. Let’s dive in, head first, together. Whatever happens, wherever we go? Let’s have life take us there.”

“That’s awfully romantic.”

“Fuck it, woman, you bring it out in me.”

I giggle, then smile. “Yeah?”

“Yes. For the past month, haven’t we just proved how damn compatible we are?”

“Yeah,” I say. I smile even wider. “I guess we have.”

“Even if I don’t know about your past, it doesn’t matter. I know
you
. You’re fun and spunky and full of life. You have the greatest attitude about you. I don’t think you realize just how special you are.”

My heart melts. “You’re making me blush.”

“It’s all true, Celeste,” he insists. “I don’t know who your men have been before who didn’t show you the proper appreciation. But damn if I’m going to be like that. I’ve held back my natural instincts with you. I’ve restrained all the impulses that you arouse.”

I quirk an eyebrow at him and look down at the seam of his pants. “
All
the impulses?”

He laughs. “Well, maybe not quite. But a good majority of them, yes. Fuck what I promised you before, though. That was a lie. If you fucking run… I
will
chase you. I’ll hunt you down and make you mine, no matter where you go. You’ve cast your spell, and now? There’s no getting out.”

I just shake my head in disbelief. “Who are you, and how is it possible you’re real?”

“You know,” he says, “I ask myself that exact question about you every single day.”

And then he kisses me and leads me upstairs.

3.

Many hours later, I’m lying in James Landon’s massive bed, my head resting on his wonderful firm chest. He strokes my hair and hums to himself.

I feel… spectacular.

For that last two hours, James made me feel cherished. We didn’t just fuck. We did something special.

He touched me in all the ways I love, but they were made more meaningful by the significance of every kiss, every lick, and every nibble.

James has blown past all my guards. He says he fell under my spell. That idea makes me laugh.
I
fell under his spell, and he reeled me in like a carp on a line.

It can’t last. I’m still sick. Falling in love won’t fix that.

In fact, love is the reason I really need to get away. I can’t stand the thought of hurting him.

“So are you going to tell me now, Celeste?” he asks.

“Hmm?” I turn my head toward him. “Tell you what?”

“What happened the night you fainted on me. What they told you at the hospital.” His arms come around my chest. “What you’re dealing with.”

A nauseous feeling comes over me. Those have been my personal secrets for so long. But with James… I feel an intimacy I never thought possible.

I take a deep breath.

“I have a shit heart,” I tell him.
Start with the smallest issue first.
“I found out in college. I had surgery… but it’s still bad.”

“Hmm,” James intones. He touches the spot beside my left breast. “This is from the operation?”

“Yes,” I say. There’s no point lying anymore.

“So when you fainted,” he asks, “it had to do with this?”

“Yes.”

“What did the doctor tell you when he kicked me and Summer out?”

“That I need to come in for regular check-ups,” I lie.

“Anything else?”

“No.”

I hate how easy lying comes to me, but… but I’m not ready to tell James I have cancer. Not now, not ever.

“Okay,” he says. “Have you been going for checkups?”

“Yes.”

“Is that where you are when you say you’re at the library?”

I look at him. “You know?”

He shrugs. “I tried to find you the first week. You weren’t there. Same thing last week. I didn’t say anything because of our…” his mouth twists a little smile, “agreement.”

“Hmm.”

“Yes,” he agrees. “Hmm indeed.”

***

In the middle of the next week, James makes a surprise announcement.

“There’s a ceremonial faculty dinner tomorrow night,” he says. “I’d like you to come with me.”

“What?” I say. “Isn’t everyone going to be there? I thought we were keeping our relationship private?”

He clicks his tongue. “Celeste, I told you before. The rules don’t apply to us. I’m getting tenure at the end of the term, remember? Nobody’s going to care.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes,” he says. “Very.”

“Do you
swear
you won’t get in trouble?” I give him a firm look. “Don’t lie to me now, James.”

“I promise on everything I hold dear,” he says. A smile plays on his lips. “In fact,” he stands a little taller, “I’m due to be giving a speech.”

“About what, how to be the most desirable man on campus?” I quip.

“Why Celeste,” he strides up to me. “I did not know you had such a high opinion of me. Because of that…” his voice turns low and breathy, “I think you’re overdue for some
very
…“ he kisses my neck, “…preferential…” my jawline, “…treatment…” my lips, “…at the hands of your professor.”

I giggle as his hands come around my back and grasp my waist. He pulls my hips to his. I feel his cock, hard and ready.

“Professor Landon,” I say, my voice sultry and suggestive. “I believe you are taking advantage of me and my precarious situation.”

He looks into my eyes. “And what precarious situation would that be?”

“The need for a passing grade,” I toss my head back. “I can’t fail your class, you know. And I’ve been such a bad, bad girl.” I pout. “Missing all my assignments. Skipping all the tests. Ignoring my weekly readings.”

I run a finger along his hard chest. “Do you still think there’s a way… a compromise… an
agreement
we can reach, perhaps, to help me pass?”

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll think of something,” he growls. He smacks my ass. I jump, then give him a sultry smile.

“Naughty, naughty boy,” I warn. “
Bad
professor.”

He rubs his hips against me, dry humping me through the layers of clothing separating our bodies. “I can be worse,” he promises.

“Show me.”

I gasp as he swings me off my feet. I wrap my legs around his waist. My ankles cross. He kisses me hard then pins me against the wall.

His kiss turns passionate and needy. My hands claw at his back. They grip his hair. I need more of him, more of James, more of
this
.

In a savage move, he tears my shirt down. His teeth come into play, and he scrapes my sensitive skin.

I drop my head back and moan. He guides my legs toward the floor. My feet touch. I arch my back and stand on my toes to give him better access.

He sucks and kisses, then drops to his knees. He slides my shirt farther down, exposing my soft belly flesh. His hot breath gives me goosebumps. His tongue darts, out and he licks around my belly button.

Then his hands catch my jeans. He tugs them down. I wiggle my hips to help.

He gasps in reverent awe when he sees my panties. They are floral and pink. I know it’s his favorite color.