Authors: Katrina Penaflor
“
Yes, I do.
”
And in this
moment I know that I want Ren to kiss me. I want him to lean his face forward
and touch his lips to mine. Inside I’m screaming at myself to move forward.
Ren’s staring
back at me, and I wonder if he’s thinking the same thing. If he wants to kiss
me as badly as I want him to.
Just try it.
What’s the worst that can happen?
He could not
kiss me back.
He could be
put off by my action.
Things could
completely change between us. And not in a good way.
No. I want
none of those things to happen…
and I don
’t want to give them a chance to.
“I have to
pee,”
I say to break the silence. It was a stupid line, but the only
thing I could think of to give me an excuse to leave the room.
Ren moves off
my body and lays back on the bed. I get up quickly, feeling slightly
lightheaded as I do so, and leave my room.
I walk into
the bathroom and splash some water on my face. I want more than anything to go
to the motel pool right now, but I can’t.
I splash more
water on myself and grip the edge of the sink. I look at my reflection in the
mirror.
Don’t do anything to lose Ren.
Chapter Sixteen
Ren
My thoughts as to whether or not I should
make a move on Emmy were basically just answered.
I was only
trying to be playful, liven up her mood since she’s been sick. But just as I
think she might be thinking the same thing as me, she pushes away.
Yeah, I get
it, she says she doesn’t date. It doesn’t work for her. I was the same way
after I got cheated on, but I’m over it now. I could see something happening
between Emmy and me, but I’m too afraid that I might push her away if I make a
move. If I just knew what the hell she was thinking, I could figure it out. But
I swear once anything remotely emotional or personal is brought up around this
girl, she diverts the conversation or goes silent.
I’ve tried to
respect her boundaries, let the conversations she doesn’t want slide, but I
don’t think I can do that much longer.
After what
happened with Danny, and how she completely broke down in front of me for
simply caring about her, I’m determined to get to the bottom of what has gone
on with her.
I know it has
something to do with her dad, or her life back in Nevada, but what exactly
happened is to be determined.
I’ll need to
be careful, part of Emmy is broken in some way, but I will get to the bottom of
the secrets she’s keeping from me.
Emmy finally
comes back into the room after running out. Her hair is back in a braid now and
she looks calmer than before she left.
I catch her
taking another look at my body before she climbs onto the bed. I didn’t bother
to get back under the comforter. I like it when Emmy looks at me.
Even though
she’s turned her attention away from now, now looking at the ceiling, I can’t
help but stare at her.
Please give
me any clue as to what you’re thinking
.
“I can’t
stand to be sick any longer. If my fever
doesn
’
t break soon I
’
ll lose my mind.
”
Diversion.
“I can take
you to the doctor tomorrow.”
She shakes
her head. “
I don
’t have insurance. And I’m not sick to the point of needing to get
checked out. It
’s
just a fever.”
No insurance.
What’s she supposed to do if she gets really sick, or worse, hurt?
“What about
the clinic at school? That’s free since you’re a student.”
“If I’m not
feeling well by the end of the week, I’ll go there.”
She flicks off the lamp next to her. “But for now I think I just
need rest. Sleep it all off.”
I can tell by
the sound of her voice that she wants to drop the conversation, just like
always. I’ll let her drop it, but I swear after she’
s feeling better I
’m going to get her to talk.
“Yeah,
sleeping it off should help.”
* *
Emmy’s still sleeping when I wake up. She
looks relaxed and peaceful. Her lips are slightly parted and her cheeks are
flushed. Hopefully her fever will go down today.
I need to
grab a shower and head off to class.
I leave Emmy
a note.
Off to class, be back
after.
P.S. I
’
m
using your shower
I’m not
joking about using her shower either. My class starts in about thirty minutes
and I don’t have enough time to go home, shower there, then get to campus.
Emmy’s
bathroom is tiny and severely outdated. But I love that it’s obvious Emmy has
tried to style it up as best as she can.
The mat near
the shower is a deep purple color, matching the soap dispenser and candle near
the sink, and the towels are all white.
She also has
a large watercolor painting of an orchid on the wall opposite the sink. I can
catch the reflection of it in the mirror.
I step into
the shower. There’s no bath, and the shower is about half the size of the one
at the duplex I rent with Mason.
I turn the
water on hot and step inside. I need to bend down a little for the faucet to
hit my head, but the warm temperature of the water feels amazing. I use Emmy’s
shampoo then body wash. Its scent is papaya and now I have my answer for why
she always smells so sweet.
I rinse and
quickly shut off the water in the shower before I let my thoughts of Emmy and
the scent of her body go any further.
I dry off
with one of the towels that are hanging in the bathroom and change back into my
clothes.
After getting
my stuff, I leave Emmy’s place. I flip the lock on the door handle before
heading to class.
* *
“Hey, Ren!”
I hear called
out to me from across the quad on campus. I’m just getting out of my business
lecture when I spot Mason heading in my direction.
He has his
backpack slung over his right shoulder and he’s carrying an energy drink. I
swear this guy lives off those things.
“Mase, what’
s up?
”
“My fucking
strategic marketing class is kicking my ass, but what else is new. You headed
home? I was thinking of going to the gym if you want to join me. Adam’s looking
to play some basketball.”
“I was going
to head back to Emmy’s house to check up on her, she’s pretty sick.”
“You know
that’s funny you say that,” he fake coughs. “I think I’ve been coming down with
something myself. Probably got it from your girl.”
Mason raises his eyebrows at me, and even though I know he’s
joking, I can’t stop myself from punching his arm. “Ouch, I bruise like a fucking
peach, man. You know that.”
Of course I
know that, but that’s not going to stop me.
“Anyway, I’ll
see you back at the house later, after I see Emmy. I’ve got a lot of photos to
edit, so I can’t stay gone too long.”
“Alright,
I’ll catch you at the house. And hey, when you see Emmy tell her I want my hat
back. I need that thing man,
shit’s
lucky.”
“I’ll ask
her, but I got a feeling she won’t give it back.”
“Well fuck.
Try and sneak it out of her apartment for me.”
“I’ll try.”
Although I have a feeling I won’t be able to slip it past her.
Just as I’m
about to walk away Mason adds, “She’s okay though, right? I know you said she
was really upset after. I just want to make sure she’
s good.
”
“She’s okay.
I still need to talk to her about a few things, but she’s fine. And
thanks…again for what you did. She really appreciated it.”
I don
’t need to elaborate,
Mason knows what I’m talking about. “I was happy to do it. God, I just couldn’t
stop myself when I gave him his keys back. The guys a fucking prick. I’m probably
not the first guy to lay one on him.”
He shakes his head back
and forth as if he’s trying to forget about it. “I’ll see you later tonight.”
“See
ya
, Mase.”
I say, walking to my truck.
I start up my
car and decide to make a quick stop before going to Emmy’s. I pull up to a
tiny, drive through coffee shop to order something for Emmy.
“Welcome to
Roasted, what can I get you?”
The woman at the window asks
me. And just as she does, I realize I have no freaking clue what to order.
“
Uhh
…
I don
’t actually know. I don’t drink coffee. Could you just make
something sweet? I’m not sure what my friend normally orders. I just know she
likes coffee.”
“Well does
she drink it hot, blended, or iced?”
“Hot,”
I say, but remember she’s got a fever so she probably won’t want
that. “No wait, blended. Make it blended.”
“Blended, got
it. I’ll go with something simple but sweet. A blended white chocolate mocha.
It’s a favorite of most people who come here. You almost can’t go wrong with
it.”
“That sounds
good to me.”
The barista
quickly fixes up the drink and I pay. I thank her and drive to Emmy’s
apartment.
When I get
there I climb up the small wrought iron staircase and knock on her door.
Surprisingly
it’s not Emmy who opens the door, but a shorter, dark haired Asian girl. I
recognize her from the other night, but I never got a chance to introduce
myself.
She smiles
before saying, “Ren.”
“
Noel,
”
I say, and it’s not a question.
She wraps her
arms around me in a tight hug. “Oh my god, you have no idea how excited I am to
see you. We barely got a chance to talk the other night, but now I can finally
see you and judge you in person.”
Oh shit,
let’s see if I can pass Noel’s test. Whatever that might entail.
Emmy is
sitting on the couch in her living room. Her hair is wet from a recent shower;
she’s got some color in her cheeks, and she’s already looking much better.
“Good to see
you out of bed,”
I say before joining her on the couch. “
Feeling better?
”
“I am. I was
finally able to get up and shower today, which I think helped.”
She spots the coffee drink in my hand. “Please tell me that’
s for me.
”
I nod my
head. “Thought you could use this.”
She actually
squeals with excitement. “Thank you, thank you! This is exactly what I need
right now.”
She leans forward, giving me a hug and taking her drink. She has a
long sip before saying, “God, this is absolutely perfect. I should get sick
more often if it means you’re going to bring me coffee.”
It was such a
small gesture and she’s so grateful for it. I’ll bring her coffee every goddamned
day if it means she’ll be smiling and looking at me the way she is right now.
“How about
you try and keep yourself from getting sick again and I’ll continue to bring
you coffee.”
“Deal.”
“So Ren,”
I turn to Noel who’s talking and sitting on the arm of the couch
next to Emmy. “It was really nice of you to come by and check on Emilie. Sweet
thing you did, even brought her cough drops.”
She’s staring
at me in a way that I think she’s trying to look right through me
—
find out if I have some sort of ulterior motive for Emmy. I don’t,
and if she sticks around us long enough she’ll realize it.
“It was no
problem. I wanted to check on her after I found out she wasn’
t feeling well.
”
Noel
continues to look at me, but this time her look is a little less harsh. Maybe
I’m passing her test, but hopefully the staring will end soon. It’s kind of
creeping me the fuck out.
Emmy I think
is starting to catch on because she’s now looking back and forth between the
two of us.
“I guess the
two of you haven’t really gotten a chance to meet before. You saw her the other
night, Ren, but I don’t think you did much talking.”
“No,”
I say. “She left before I even realized who she was.”
That and I was kind of distracted by what Emmy had been wearing.
The thought of her in that tight, white outfit, had me forgetting everything
else around me.
“Well now I
get to size him up. See who has been keeping you from me, and see what all the
fuss has been about.”
The fuss. Now
I’m curious what Emmy’s been saying about me to Noel. Good fuss I hope—
bad fuss
…well nobody
wants to be bad fuss. Maybe Mason does, but not me.
Emmy finishes
off her drink and excuses herself to go use the bathroom. This is my chance to
talk to Noel.
She speaks
before I do. “Spill the beans, kid. What’s up with you and
Em
?
I know her side, and I want to know yours. And hurry up, she pees fast.”
Fuck, maybe I
should just tell her. Maybe she’ll promise not to say anything to Emmy before I
do.
“I want to be
with her.”
Holy fuck I can’t believe I said that out loud. “
But I don
’t know if
she feels the same way.”
There’s that
damn grin on her face again. I swear this girl smiles more than any person I
know, and at the oddest times too.
She looks
like she’s about to talk just as Emmy comes out of the bathroom.
“Make a
move,”
she says quietly, almost too low for me to hear.
She has to be
saying this because she believes something could work out between the Emmy and
me. There can’t be another reason.
“Ren, Noel
was just about to put a movie in, you want to stick around and join us?”
Emmy asks me.