She stared at his chest. Specifically at the ornate compass tattoo inked over his heart. She didn't believe for a minute that Kai let his heart act as his compass. “I should go. It's late and your mom is going to want quiet.”
“It's nine o'clock.”
It felt so much later. She didn't have another argument.
“Regrets?”
She tipped her face up to meet his. “Not one.” She looked him in the eye to make sure he knew that was real.
“Then stay.” His hand touched her jaw, his thumb caressing the corner of her mouth. Quietly, he added, “I have art for you to see.”
“My dragonfly?”
He nodded. Then he kissed her jaw and her ear. His breath sent a shiver through her.
“Are you holding my dragonfly hostage to make me stay?”
“If it works.”
She stepped back and pulled the towel off her hair. “Fine.”
That he wanted her to stay should've thrilled her. He could've easily had sex and then expected her to leave, but he wanted her here. She liked to think he enjoyed having her in his bed, waking next to her. But as usual, she was afraid of seeing what wasn't there.
* * *
Kai waited in the bathroom while Norah got dressed. He didn't trust himself not to want more. He didn't know what had gotten into him. He was fine spending the night with a woman he'd had sex with, but he'd never craved it like he did with Norah. She continued to pull things from him that he never trusted.
He wanted to take care of her.
And that was all kinds of fucked up. He barely managed to take care of himself.
When he got to the bedroom, Norah had a pair of stretchy pants and a baggy T-shirt on. It was as if she was trying to hide her body. She combed her hair, sending a fine spray of water over the shirt.
He dropped the towel and stepped into a pair of sweatpants. Then he reached for her comb and ran it quickly through his hair and handed it back. “I'm starving. You hungry?”
She bit her lower lip. “I shouldn't be.”
“I'd say we both should be. That was a workout and a half.”
“I'm good.”
“I'm ordering pizza. What kind do you want?”
She sighed. “Get whatever you want to eat. Don't worry about me.”
He sat on the edge of the bed. “Is that because you're leaving or because you don't want to eat?”
“I don't know.”
“Well, figure it out. Pizza will be here in thirty.” He picked up his phone and called in his order. He shouldn't pressure her into anything. Doing so would give her the idea that their arrangement might be more than it was supposed to be. It didn't matter he wanted it to be more. She'd be moving on as soon as his mom did.
The doorbell rang announcing Jaleesa and his mom. Norah looked up with wide eyes.
With a smile he said, “Might as well stay now. There's no sneaking out without her knowing.”
She stood and crossed her arms. “Shows what you know. I could go out the back and no one would know.”
“Except your car is in front. My sister probably parked behind you and already noticed.” He put an arm around her shoulder and led her from the room. “We're both adults, remember? Adults fuck. And they sleep in the same bed.”
“Easy for you to say. You're not the one she'll be grilling tomorrow.” In the living room, she separated from him and sat on the couch. Before he got to the door, she turned the volume up on whatever TV show she'd decided on.
As soon as he opened the door, his mom said, “It's about time.”
“Sorry. I was changing.”
She shuffled past him leaning on her cane more than she had been. “Saw Norah's car.”
Jaleesa followed her in and closed the door behind her. At their mom's remark, she looked at him. As they made their way into the living room, she touched his arm. “Can we talk in the kitchen?”
She didn't wait for an answer. She just kept moving. Walking by, she said, “Hi, Norah. Good to see you.”
Norah didn't say anything. There was no reason to since she'd be saying it to Jaleesa's back. She stared at him in wide-eyed panic. He gave a slight shake of his head. His mom sat on the chair instead of her usual spot on the couch.
In the kitchen, Jaleesa stood leaning against the counter. “How could you?”
“What?”
“You're sleeping with our mother's caregiver? Really, Kai?”
“What's the big deal?”
“I like Norah. More importantly, Mom likes Norah.”
“I like her too. Your point?”
“She's a sweet girl. She doesn't strike me as one of your”âshe waved her hand aroundâ“playthings. She's been through a lot. She doesn't need someone toying with her.”
“You know nothing about it.”
She shook her head. “Is that why you sent Mom to my house?”
“That was Mom's idea. Whatever happens between me and Norah is no one else's business.”
“Don't fuck this up, Kai. Mom is healing, but she has
weeks
more before she'll be ready to move back in with me.”
“So you're saying you don't think I can handle a relationship for even a few weeks.”
“Is that what this is? A relationship?”
He crossed his arms instead of answering.
“That's what I thought. For all the changes you've made in your life, you're still not ready to let someone in.” With another shake of her head, she left.
He heard her say good-bye to Norah and their mom. He thought about what Jaleesa said. She was right. He didn't want to let someone like Norah in. He shouldn't have let Norah push things to where they were, but there was no turning back now. He wanted her too much, so he'd get all he could from her until she realized she was better off without him.
He went back to the living room. “I ordered pizza if you're hungry, Mom.”
She waved him off. “I ate at Jaleesa's.”
“Did you have a good day?” Norah asked.
“The movie with my friends was good. We walked around the mall a bit before Jaleesa came to get me. I think that's where I made the mistake. By the time dinner ended and the kids wanted to read and watch TV, I was done for.” She heaved off the chair. “In fact, I'm going to bed now.”
Kai went to her side. “Need some help?”
She shook her head. “Keep it down and let me sleep in.”
Norah clicked the volume lower on the TV.
His mom winked at Norah. “I wasn't talking about the TV.”
Norah's eyes went wide and her skin flushed pink. He laughed.
“Good night,” his mom said.
He sat on the couch next to Norah and laughed. She slapped his thigh.
“Not funny.”
“Sure it is. My mom isn't stupid. I told you she knew everything.”
“Can I ask what Jaleesa wanted?”
“Nothing important.” He slipped an arm behind her head and curled it over her shoulder. He didn't have too much experience with relationships because they tended to escalate and get complicated. Norah started out complicated and he'd handled it. He liked having her here. More than he should for a temporary arrangement.
Suddenly the thought of coming home to an empty house didn't hold the same appeal it once had.
Yeah, Norah had definitely complicated his life.
The complications felt worth it as she snuggled against him on the couch eating pizza. Thoughts of making this more than temporary swamped him.
When they were done eating, she bounced with a burst of energy. “Let me see my tattoo.”
“What's your hurry?” He moved in for a kiss.
She slapped a hand on his chest and leaned away. “Uh-uh. You want a kiss, I want art.”
He sighed to cover his excitement. He'd wanted to wait until the right time to show her. “It's in my car.”
“Why would you leave it there?”
He traced a finger across her collarbone. “If I brought it in with me, you would've wanted to see it. I had other plans involving your body.”
She shivered but gave him another shove. “Go get it.”
He ran out barefoot and bare-chested, immediately regretting the move. The concrete and grass froze his feet. By the time he got back to the living room, his toes were numb.
Norah continued to bounce excitedly on the couch. Her anticipation rattled his nerves in no way a client ever did.
He slid the art on the table and stepped back to wait for her response.
She picked up the paper and studied it but said nothing. She was uncharacteristically quiet for so long, he assumed she was trying to figure out how to tell him she hated it.
“I can change whatever you don't like. This is just a draft,” he lied. He'd spent hours drawing and erasing and choosing the right colors.
She looked up with teary eyes and a gorgeous smile. “I love it.”
He released a long breath and joined her on the couch. He watched as she traced the cursive letters of her daughter's name.
Brushing her hair over her shoulder, he wrapped a hand on the back of her neck. “Give it some time before you decide not to make changes. This is forever.”
“I know. You delivered everything I wanted. Her name is pretty. I've never known a guy with such perfect penmanship.” She paused and narrowed her eyes. “Too perfect. You did the letters on the computer.”
“Normally, I do, but I wrote this.” To prove it, he grabbed a napkin and wrote the name again. “I told you it'd be custom.”
Her gaze returned to the art.
“What about the colors?”
“Kai, stop worrying. It's perfect.” She leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his lips.
With every move, every interaction, she drew him deeper. He was no longer sure he'd be able to let go.
Chapter Sixteen
Kai was nervous. He hadn't been nervous about a tattoo since his first one. Then again, he'd never done work on someone he cared about before. A simple business transaction didn't matter. But putting his mark on Norah was a different story. He'd had sex with women who later came to him for a tattoo, but he'd had another artist do the work. No one even knew the connection. Norah was different. He couldn't explain why she was different, this tattoo was different, but it was.
He'd waited at the studio all night. The artists and clients were gone for the day and he'd locked the shop. Norah had stayed at home until his mom was settled in bed and then came to the studio. He wanted complete privacy for this work. He definitely didn't want to get in the middle of Norah and Tommy.
While he readied his station in the back room, Norah wandered around the front, looking at the art on the walls. “Did you draw all of these?” she yelled.
He came to the door and leaned against the frame. “Most of them. Puck has some up there and so does Tommy.”
“Does that mean you'll take a picture of mine and put me on your wall of fame?” She walked back toward him.
“No.” He didn't want her to know how personal this was for him. He pointed behind him. “I'm ready.”
She took a deep breath. “I hope I am.” She slid past him, her body brushing his. “Does it hurt a lot?”
“At the beginning it will, but then your body gets used to it.”
She plopped on the chair. “Sure.”
“I can't imagine it hurts any more than having a baby.”
She smirked. “But I had some good drugs to get me through that.”
He grinned. “Do I need to get the pussyball?” He remembered her joking about the tennis ball on one of her first visits to the studio.
She grunted. “Now I am offended. As if those of us who actually have pussies can't handle a little pain.” She lifted her hips and shimmied out of her jeans. Then she added, “I'd like to see a man give birth.”
As he watched the jeans peel from her body, he tried to focus. She wore the bright blue panties again. The ones she'd worn the first time they'd had sex. Images of her bucking beneath him had his dick twitching.
This was probably why it wasn't a good idea for him to do work on someone he was involved with. She slid the panties off next and rolled to her side. “Like this?” she asked.
“Yeah.” He got the thermal image she'd already squealed and gushed over and applied it to her skin. He started the machine. “Ready?”
“I think so.”
With his hand on her thigh, he pushed away thoughts of all the ways he'd touched her over the last month. Right now, she needed to be nothing more than a canvas. She hissed with the first touch of the gun, but she didn't flinch.
He worked in silence for a few minutes and paused. “You okay?”
“Yeah. It's like you said, you kind of get used to it.”
He resumed work, but she still said nothing.
“I never figured you to be a cadaver.”
She turned her head to look at him. “Excuse me?”
“Someone who doesn't talk while getting a tattoo. It's like working on a corpse.”
“I was trying not to distract you.”
His gaze traveled from her naked thigh to her hip. “Trust me. Conversation is the right kind of distraction.”
“Why do you hang out with Rooster?”
“What do you mean?” Not quite the conversation he'd hoped for, but better than silence.
“I feel like you don't really like him.”
“We're friends.”
“But he's a friend you only see when you have a poker game at your house. A friendship shouldn't have parameters like that.”
He knew what she was getting at, but he didn't know if he could explain. “Rooster and I have history. You know that. I can't live in his world anymore. I can't get caught up again. But I can't tell him to fuck off either.”
“Do you want to?”
“What?”
“Tell him to fuck off.”
“Sometimes. He showed me the ropes in jail. Kept me safe. I owe him.”
“From almost ten years ago? If he's not doing anything to change his life and you don't want what he's doing, maybe it's time to cut him loose.”
Her thigh tensed and he took a moment to rub it to relax. “Still okay?”
She licked her lips. “Yeah.”
“When I told you to talk, I didn't mean discuss my life. Most people talk about themselves.”
“I lead a boring life. I don't have any friends.”
“What about school?”
She released a soft sigh. “I have one. I'm applying for a loan to pay for it. I'll be starting again in January.”
It was another reminder that she had a life far removed from him. They dropped back into silence and he worked quickly and efficiently.
As he finished up filling in the dragonfly, she looked over her shoulder at him. “Is it wrong that I'm getting really turned on by this?”
Christ. He'd thought her silence was bad. Could she make this any more difficult? He paused in his work and glanced up at her. “What part is turning you on?”
“All of it. Sitting here half naked, you running your hands on me, marking me permanently.” She wiggled a little and he wondered if she was getting wet.
“Hold still and let me finish.” His voice was more gruff than usual, mostly because she could turn him on with a look. And that look was bearing down on him right now.
A little while later, satisfied with the color, he said, “Done.”
She jumped up on her knees and twisted and bent to get a good look at the tattoo. He smiled and handed her a mirror.
“The skin is irritated, but that'll clear up.” He waited for a reaction.
She swallowed hard and looked down at him with tears in her eyes. “It's amazing. Even better than I thought it would be.”
Leaning over, she kissed him, long and deep. “Have you ever had sex in here?”
The thought had never occurred to him. “No.”
“Good. I like to do new things.” She climbed off the chair and pulled him to stand. She quickly undid his pants and pushed them to his knees. He was already semihard from watching her. “Sit down.”
He took her spot on the chair. She leaned over and took him in her mouth, making him go from half-hard to let's-fuck in thirty seconds. She fished into her pants pocket for a condom and rolled it on.
Without another word, she climbed on him and took his cock in one motion. She pulled her shirt over her head. He tugged the cup of her bra down and rose to take a nipple in his mouth. Her sigh was nearly a moan. Careful of her tattoo, he gripped her sides and forced her up and back down. Where she seemed content to wiggle and slide, he wanted to thrust. She gripped his hair and tugged as she rode him.
“I'm close,” he growled into her ear.
Her hand slipped between them. “Not yet. I want it together.”
Kai held on to the last bit of control he could as Norah stroked herself, her fingers colliding with the base of his cock. Her muscles started pulsing and when she went rigid in his arms, he fell with her.
He held her close as they both came back. She surrounded every inch of his being. In that moment, Kai knew that when she walked away, he'd be the one left in the ashes.
* * *
Norah felt happier than she had in a really long time. The routine of going to work and spending time with Kai gave her purpose. She was looking forward to going back to school in a few months, and the experience of caring for Lani gave her the idea to work as a home healthcare worker while she earned her degree.
For the first time in forever, her life was on track. She flew down the steps to get ready for work and came to a sudden halt when she saw Jimmy sitting in the kitchen. It was ten in the morning. “Shouldn't you be at work?”
“Going in late. Wanted to talk to you.”
“Okay.” Anytime Jimmy wanted to talk, it wasn't good. She eased into a chair at the table.
“What's going on with you and this guy Kai?”
Tommy and his big mouth. “We're seeing each other.”
“But he's your boss.”
“Technically.”
“There's no âtechnically.' Is he paying you?”
Damn, that made it sound like she was a hooker. “He pays me to take care of his mom. When I'm off the clock, we hang out. We enjoy each other's company.” She tried to lighten the tone. “This isn't a case of sexual harassment. Just two people who are attracted to each other.”
It was almost weird talking to Jimmy like this. She was comfortable in a way she never thought she would be. Like they were equals.
Jimmy ran a hand over the top of his head. “He's not a good guy, Norah. He's a felon.”
“You ran a background check on him?”
“Don't look at me like I've done something wrong. I find out you're involved with someoneâand not from you, I might addâI want to know who he is.”
Norah took a long, slow breath to control the snap of anger she wanted to release. “I get that you feel protective of me, Jimmy. But I'm an adult. Kai told me about his past. And it is his
past
. We all make mistakes. It doesn't have to define who we are.”
“It's nice to think, but in some ways, our past does define us. Something like being a felon follows him everywhere. It limits his prospects.”
“He seems to be doing fine running a successful tattoo studio in spite of those limitations.” She pushed away from the table and threw her arms around her big brother. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
“I guess that means you're still going to date him.”
“Yeah. We like each other and while it started out as an escape from life, I think we have a chance at something more.”
“Isn't this a little soon after Ella and what's-his-name?”
Norah had no doubt Jimmy remembered Avery's name. “What's soon? I haven't had a boyfriend since Avery, which was months ago. Kai and I are taking it slow.” Kind of. Maybe.
Jimmy sighed the way she imagined a worried father would. “Be careful.”
Norah smiled. “I try.”
“This whole letting-you-be-an-adult thing sucks.”
She laughed. “Just thinkâit'll be worse when you have your own kids. And if there is a God, those kids will be just like Moira.”
“Better watch what you wish for. Karma's a bitch.”
She liked this new relationship with Jimmy. She was finally feeling like she belonged here as an O'Malley; she was one of them.
Norah drove to Kai's feeling light. This was a feeling she could get used to. When she unlocked the door to Kai's house, she was met with a surprise. Lani stood in the middle of the living room alone, with no cane.
“The therapist told me to go without.”
Norah rushed forward. “Oh my gosh. Congratulations!” She hugged Lani, which might not have been exactly professional, but the woman was more a friend than a patient.
Lani returned the hug and said, “Still not ready for dancing, but she wants me to try our walk without the cane.”
“Wow.”
“I should be ready to move back to Jaleesa's soon.”
As much as she liked seeing Lani make progress, it was a sad reminder Norah wouldn't be needed much longer. She'd soon be out of a job. And she didn't know what that meant for her and Kai. They'd originally agreed that when Lani was better, they were over, but things were different between them. At least they were for her.
Kai came from the kitchen and kissed his mom on the head. “She's pretty proud of herself.”
“She should be.”
“I have to get to the studio. Should be home by ten.” Then he bent and planted a quick kiss on Norah's lips.
The movement startled her. For everything they'd done together and for all his talk about his mom knowing everything, he'd yet to do anything in front of Lani. “Have a good day,” he murmured against her lips.
A smile broke across her face. This day got better and better.
Norah and Lani went for a walk, which was shorter and a little slower than their usual walks but Lani succeeded without the cane. The improvement was amazing. It was hard to believe that barely two months ago she'd gotten out of the hospital with her knee replacement.
That meant Norah and Kai had been a couple for much less time, but it felt longer. She kept reminding herself not to build things up in her head, but then Kai did things like kiss her good-bye in front of Lani and she began to think she wasn't alone. Her afternoon was quiet and while Lani napped, Norah started a new job search.
Regardless of what happened between her and Kai, once Lani moved back in with Jaleesa, she'd have to find a new job. Her goal was to bank as much money as she could before school started so she would need less in loans. Great in theory, not so easy in reality.
After dinner, Norah helped Lani plan another book club meeting. She insisted Norah join them this time. Norah agreed and immediately downloaded the book onto her phone. Lani was amazed and wanted Norah to teach her how e-books worked. Norah made a mental note to tell Kai that an e-reader would make a great Christmas gift for his mom.
By the time Lani went to bed, Norah was exhausted. She curled up on the couch and relaxed with some old
Friends
reruns. She couldn't help but be jealous of the friendships those fictional characters had. She'd make friends once school started. Or if she got a job in an office or something, she'd have coworkers. She'd been isolated for so long.