Her father, on the other hand, provided for her, but never offered anything else. She lived with him for the first twelve years of her life, but she had few memories of him being in her life. Her childhood had been filled by her brothers, and her dad was a fleeting image. She wouldn't listen to him berate her now.
She took a long shower and tried to relax. Although she'd slept well, Kai's couch wasn't quite as comfortable as a bed. The hot water eased her tense muscles. The baby seemed to enjoy the water and quiet, so Norah stood there until the hot water seeped away. After she got dressed in fresh clothes, she sat on her bed. She would have to walk past her dad again in order to leave. There was no getting around it.
She rubbed her belly to soothe the baby. No matter what, everything she did now was about the baby. She had to make things right for the baby. If that meant she had to avoid her dad, that's what she would do. She'd have to enlist Jimmy's help, though. She had a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Since she was so far along, she would have weekly appointments. The realization made everything seem too real, final, inescapable. As long as the baby was inside her, she had choices.
Digging through her purse, she found the business card for the adoption counselor she spoke with. Teagan had said Norah could call at any time to talk, but Norah didn't want to talk. She texted Teagan and asked if they could meet at a coffee shop after her appointment tomorrow morning. She'd tell Kai she couldn't be there until the afternoon.
Teagan quickly responded that she would be there. She wanted to move forward, which meant she needed to make a plan, a decision. Keeping the baby would mean bringing it into this semi-toxic situation with her dad. Her job with Kai wouldn't last forever and she had nothing else. She couldn't expect Jimmy to support her indefinitely. And she really wanted to finish college.
Taking money out of the equation, would she choose to keep the baby? A little fistâor was it an elbow?âstretched her skin. “I love you,” she said aloud. She wanted the baby to hear it from her first. Even in this messed-up situation, she felt such an unfathomable love for this little being inside her. And knowing that, she knew she couldn't be a mom. She hadn't lived enough of her own life yet to give it up. She never wanted to resent her helpless baby. More than anything, she wanted this child to be happy and she didn't think she could provide that.
Before she lost her nerve, she called Jimmy.
“Hey, everything okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. I've been thinking. A lot. I'm going to give the baby up for adoption.”
“Are you sure? You want to talk about this?”
“Actually, I'm calling to ask if you'll come with me to talk to the adoption counselor after my doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.”
“Of course. Anything. You want me to drive you?”
“No. I'll need my car because I'll have to go to work right after.”
“Work?”
Jimmy didn't know something? Either he was falling down on his usual nosy role or the family blab system was crumbling. She could only hope. “Kai, Tommy's boss, hired me to help with his mom. She had knee surgery and needs help with errands, and someone to keep her company.”
“You don't need to work weeks before having a baby. I can give you money.”
“I don't want you to give me money. I want to make my own. Plus, being with Dad all day won't be good for me right now.”
“Fuck. What did he do?”
“Don't worry about it. We'll talk tomorrow. I'll text you the information.”
“Okay.”
She paused, and he didn't say anything for a moment. As much as she loved Jimmy, she wished she had a mom to help her with this. “Hey, Jimmy?”
“Huh?”
“Do you think Moira would come too?” Moira wasn't exactly a mother figure, but she'd definitely pass for a big sister.
“I'm sure she will if there's any way she can. Want me to ask her or do you want to?”
“Can you? I don't want her to feel pressure from me. I'm sure she won't have a problem telling you no if she can't.”
“Yeah, she has no problem telling me no. But I know Moira and you can count on her to be there.”
That's what Norah hoped. If she surrounded herself with people who were willing to support her in a positive manner, she'd be able to block out the crap.
Chapter Five
Kai sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee and trying to forget the feel of Norah's skin under his fingers. He shouldn't have touched her this morning. He'd known it was a mistake even as his hand reached out and stroked a silky lock of hair. He couldn't start anything with her. Especially when she was having someone else's kid. He was a crappy uncle to Jaleesa's kids. And if growing up with his mom taught him nothing else, it was that it was unfair to come into a kid's life and then disappear.
However, Norah was going to be in his life, in his house, caring for his mom every day. He could only avoid her so much. He didn't want her to think he disliked her because then she might quit.
“Kai.”
The sound of his mom's voice caused a spear of dread to shoot through him. He loved her, but he wasn't a caregiver and she was pretty needy right now. He didn't like seeing her like that. He went to the bedroom to help her out of bed and to the bathroom.
Even though this was only their second day together, he knew this was the hardest part of the day for her, both physically and mentally. He walked behind her en route to the bathroom and waited outside the door. “You want a shower today?”
Please say no, please say no
. Jaleesa or the PT could help with that tomorrow.
“I'll just wash up. Jaleesa said she'd be here tomorrow morning.”
Thank God. He heard the water running, so he got comfortable leaning against the wall across from the door.
“You have coffee made?”
“Yeah.” He'd already drunk two cups thinking about Norah.
“Is Norah coming back?”
He took note of the fact she'd used Norah's name. Biting back a smile, he said, “She should be here around lunchtime.” He left out the part about her sleeping on the couch.
His mom opened the bathroom door. “If she's smart, she'll eat before coming here. You have no food. It's depressing.” She shook a finger at him. “You'd think you didn't know how to eat. I taught you better than that.”
“I'm not home all that much. Tell Norah what you want and she'll get it from the store today.”
“Can she cook?”
How the fuck should he know? He swallowed the words to avoid the slap they'd earn from her. Instead he shrugged. He led her back to the bedroom so she could change and he went to get her a cup of coffee. When he returned, Lani was dressed. Kai set the coffee on the nightstand. “Let's get the first round of exercises done before I go to work.”
She grumbled a bit but allowed him to help her get back in bed and start the exercises. They were still slow-going and his mom appeared exhausted afterward, but she pushed up and reached for his hand to get out of bed.
“I'm not going to lie in bed all day like an invalid. I have programs to watch.” She moved toward the door. “Bring my coffee.”
By the time she was settled on the couch with her coffee, the remote, and her book, Kai needed to expend some energy. He needed to work off some of his frustration, so he went to the basement to lift weights. With each repetition, his muscles burned in a way that said he was building something. He pushed hard to rid himself of all of his selfish thoughts.
* * *
Norah knocked on the door but used the key to let herself into Kai's house. He was probably already at work, and Ms. Ellis couldn't answer the door. Well, she probably could, eventually, but Norah wasn't about to sit there to find out how long it would take.
As soon as she had the door open, she called out so Ms. Ellis would know it was her. “Hello, it's me.”
“Hope you fed that baby before coming here. Still no food.”
“I did buy food yesterday. Everything you asked for, Ms. Ellis. But I can go back to the store today.” She tossed her purse on the chair and sat on the edge. “What kind of food do you want me to buy?”
“Can you cook?”
“A little. I'm no gourmet or anything. Mostly easy meals for college students.”
“Well then, you already have my grown son beat. Get some fixings for sandwiches and whatever you can cook for dinner.”
Norah began to think about possibilities.
“And get to the bookstore. I'm almost done with this one.”
Norah stared at her. The woman must've been some kind of speed reader. “We were barely at the halfway point last night.”
“I like my stories. Characters keep me company.”
She had a point. It was a hell of an escape to live for a while in other people's lives to avoid your own problems and situation. “I'll see what I can find.”
Norah stood.
“Before you leave, can you start a load of laundry for me? I don't think Kai would feel comfortable touching my unmentionables. There's a small basket in my bedroom.”
Norah narrowed her eyes. Although she hadn't gotten a grand tour of the house, she hadn't remembered seeing a washer and dryer either. “Where are the machines?”
“In the basement.”
“Okay. I'll start that and then go to the store.” Leaving her purse on the chair, she gathered the dirty laundry and found the door leading to the basement. She picked her way down the wooden steps carefully. A bare bulb dangled at the bottom lighting her way. A
clink
caught her attention. This was like a scene out of a bad horror movie.
She pushed on. At the bottom of the stairs, she saw the source of the noise: Kai lying on a bench lifting weights. He was shirtless. His bronze skin glistened with the effort of his workout. He continued to lift the bar and his arms bulged and flexed. A tidal wave of testosterone crashed through the room and into her.
She swallowed hard and moved another step before he caught her staring. Then she saw he had earbuds in, so he couldn't hear her. She moved as silently as she could to the washer. A loud
clunk
made her jump and she dropped the basket. Turning, she saw Kai sitting up.
He yanked the earbuds from his ears. “What are you doing?”
Her heart thundered. “Your mom asked me to do a load of laundry.” She pointed at the basket at her feet as if he didn't know what dirty clothes looked like.
He stood and walked toward her. A patch of dark hair rode across his pecs. She stared at his body as he moved. Tattoos decorated his skin. Across his ribs, on his upper arm, his shoulder. Without looking, she knew she'd find more on his back.
Standing in front of her, he was close enough that she could trace a bead of sweat that trailed down into the waistband on his shorts. His breathing was slightly faster than normal. At least he had the excuse of lifting weights. All she'd done was walk down the stairs and ogle him. He bent and she shivered as his body lowered.
He grabbed the basket and held it to the side. She tilted her face up. He stared into her eyes, but then his gaze traveled over her whole face, landing on her mouth. The look was so intense that she could almost feel the phantom pressure on her lips.
He jerked back. “You shouldn't be carrying this. You're pregnant. It's not part of your job.”
God damn she hated hormones. She'd almost had herself convinced he was going to kiss her. All he really wanted to do was yell at her. Typical.
She inhaled deeply. Then she snatched the basket from his hands before speaking. “You hired me to take care of your mom. She asked me to do a load of wash. This basket weighs less than the groceries I carried in yesterday. I'm fine.”
Turning her back to him, she walked to the washer and started dumping clothes in. She couldn't wait to have this baby so she could have her body back. She'd never had a problem controlling her hormones around guys. If she was attracted to a guy, it was usually mutual. There were
signals
, for crap's sake. This whole pregnancy thing threw everything out of whack.
Even now, as she messed with the dials on the washing machine, she felt like he was staring at her. When she turned, he was.
“I'm not trying to be an asshole. I don't want you to hurt yourself or the baby doing stuff around here.”
“I'm fine. I don't overdo it, which should be evidenced by the fact that I fell asleep on your couch last night.”
“Okay. You know what you're capable of. Don't do too much on account of us.”
His words did all sorts of new things in her. To have a man trust that she was smart enough to take care of herself meant something. He didn't view her as a weak, inferior being as she often felt her brothers did. She smiled. “I'm going to the store. You want me to get you anything?”
“Nah. I'm good.” He returned her smile and the tension between them dissipated.
“I'll be a while since I have to go get books for your mom too. Do you know what kind of books she reads?” She didn't know why she said it, but her mouth got away from her.
He shook his head.
“She reads romance. And not the longing looks from across a ballroom and maybe some hand-holding kind either.” Norah leaned a little closer and lowered her voice. “She made me read a sex scene to her last night.”
The look on Kai's face was priceless. Even under the golden hue of his cheeks, a blush rose. “Christ, I'm sorry.”
Norah bent over on a peal of laughter. “If you could see your face . . .” Those were the only words she could handle because laughter stole her breath. She laughed until tears streaked down her cheeks. Her stomach grew tight and a little uncomfortable, so she straightened. Rubbing both hands on her belly, she took slow, deep breaths. “Sorry. I just had this image of her asking you to read to her before bed.”
In truth, the deep, rumbly sound of his voice would be enough of a turn-on regardless of the words he read. Suddenly, she wanted the audiobook of that.
“Sorry,” she said again and they both knew it was an empty apology.
“It looks good on you.”
“Huh?”
“The uncontrolled laughter. It looks good. Even if I'm the butt of your joke. And for the record, I will not be reading porn to my mom.”
A giggle bubbled up in Norah's throat, so she swallowed. She couldn't afford to think of him and porn in the same sentence. “Okay, then. I'm going to the store.”
He grabbed his earbuds and held them near his ears. Before putting them in, he said, “Be careful.”
As if she needed a warning from him. Careful was one thing she sucked at but it was necessary now more than ever.
* * *
No matter how loud he turned up the music, the only sound blaring through Kai's head was Norah's laughter. Although he didn't want to consider the topic that made her laughâhis mom and sexâhe enjoyed the sound more than a man should. He added more weight and lifted until his muscles burned.
He finished his workout and went upstairs to shower and get ready for work. To his surprise, his mom was on the couch actually using the motion machine she'd sworn she wouldn't. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he pointed to the machine. “I thought you hated that thing. Told Tanya you wouldn't use it.”
“Norah nags. She locked me into it. Reminded me that the faster I get moving, the faster I get back to my friends and my grandbabies.”
Looked like his mom was as anxious to get back to their real lives as he was. “I'm going to take a shower and then to work. You need anything?”
“I'm fine.” She picked up the book in her lap and all Kai could think about was Norah's comments about sex.
He clenched his jaw and left the room. He yanked on the rubber band holding his hair back and turned on the water. Once under the spray, he considered his options for getting laid. With his mom living with him, bringing someone here was out of the question. He had a few women he could call, but as he tried to bring their faces to his mind, all that popped up was Norah's bright blue eyes, smiling with laughter.
Fuck. He needed to get those images gone. He wrapped his hand around his dick and stroked himself hard. He gripped and stroked, thinking of sinking into warm, wet pussy, the shower not quite doing him justice. Since he couldn't imagine Norah not pregnant, he envisioned her on her knees taking him in her mouth. Lips tight around his cock as a glint of laughter sparked in her eyes. She'd like to watch him while she sucked him off. Fuck, yeah.
It didn't take long for his balls to tighten and his already-strained muscles to tense with his release. As he leaned against the wall recovering, he told himself it was better to fantasize about taking Norah than to actually make a move. She'd never know what happened in his mind when he was alone. As he washed, he refocused his brain around his workday.
He stepped from the shower and used a towel to wipe the steam from the mirror. He studied the beard he had growing before trimming it. With a towel wrapped around his hips, he stepped from the room. Normally, he'd walk out naked, but he didn't want to risk running into his mom.
Running into Norah was almost worse. As he turned the corner to get to his bedroom, she yelped. Instinctively, he grabbed the knot of the towel.
“You need to wear a bell or something.”
“Me?” she asked with her hand over her heart. “You're the one springing out at me when I thought you left for work.”
“I'm heading out now. I shouldn't be too late, so after my mom goes to bed, feel free to leave.” He didn't want to find her sleeping on his couch again.
“I have an appointment tomorrow morning, so I won't be able to be here until the afternoon. Will that be okay?”
Kai nodded. “The physical therapist comes tomorrow and Mom will need a nap after, so whenever you get here is fine.”
“Is it safe to venture back into the basement? I don't want to interrupt you again.”