Undescribable (47 page)

I wake up and can barely move. My body is so sore. Geez, he was on a mission last night; a mission to break me in half.

And I think he succeeded.

I crawl out of bed while I moan in agony. Am I going to be able to walk today? I sure hope so. I need a hot shower which will wake me up and help my muscles. I accomplished what I wanted to, though. I wanted to get my mind off of things.

I’m trying to stay happy, but it’s so hard. My birthday is coming up and I get so depressed, so I’m going to continue having the hot and crazy sex with him. It makes me feel like a different person. Awake. Plus, he has lit me on fire. I can’t get enough of him. The sex is amazing. He makes me feel sexy and wanted. If I had the choice, I would never get out of bed with him. I would spend every waking moment naked underneath him, letting him have his way with me.

It takes me longer than usual to get ready.
My entire body is sore!
But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

As I’m drying my hair, I realize I’m just going to have to work through it. I was hoping the hot shower would have helped, but no. My body is stiff and sore as hell.

I turn the hair dryer off, thinking I heard something. I listen quietly as I hear it again. Someone is knocking on the front door, so I run to answer it.

“Hey, Holly. What are you up to today?”

She walks in with a big smile on her face.
Great! She’s up to something.

“We are going shopping.”

I nod my head. That actually sounds good. “Okay. Let me finish getting ready. I’m almost done.”

She follows me to the bathroom, so I can finish getting ready.

“So…” Holly trails off as I put the finishing touches on my makeup.

I turn to face her. “I know there is something going on, so whatever it is, you better tell me.”

“You can’t say anything, okay? This is important to Slade.” I just give her a dirty look.
This cannot be good.

“He wants to surprise you with a birthday dinner at his parents’ house, then we are all going out.” She takes in a deep breath. “Okay. That was partly a lie. He asked me what I thought, and that was the idea I came up with.”

I feel like the air has been sucked out of me. A surprise birthday dinner? Going out with everyone? I haven’t celebrated my birthday in four years; waking up first thing in the morning to call your estranged mother who never answers, and sending her money kind of puts a damper on things. Why would he want to throw me a birthday surprise?

My head snaps to hers and she squirms. “How does he know Friday is my birthday, Holly?” I ask evenly.

She looks to the floor. “I told him.”

I throw my hands up in the air. “Why would you do that, Holls?”

She shrugs. “He would have found out eventually, and then he’d be pissed you never told him.”

She has a point.

I nod my head in agreement. “Is that why we are going shopping? So I can buy a birthday outfit?”

“You know me all too well,” she sighs, looking down at the floor.

I walk out of the bathroom and into the closet to grab my heels. I sit on the bed and look at her, but she is still looking down at the floor.

“What else is there, Holls?”

“Well...” she looks up at me. “Slade gave me money to take you shopping. He wants to buy you your birthday outfit.”

“What?” I bark as she flinches. Why in the hell would he want to buy my birthday outfit? I don’t need him buying me anything.

“He just wants to buy you your outfit,” she defends him.

“I got that. Keep the money and give it back to him. I don’t want him buying me an outfit.” I go to put my heels on.

“Sam,” she says harshly making me look back to her. “He just wants to do something nice. I could tell on the phone that his feelings were hurt that you hadn’t told him Friday was your birthday. Don’t make me give the money back to him. Take it, and buy you something with it.” She looks at me, daring me to argue.

I sigh. I do feel bad for not telling him. I just wanted to avoid that conversation if at all possible. “Come on. I want something extra sexy.”

She starts clapping her hands. “That was easier than I thought it would be.”

“What are you talking about?” I question.

“Nothing.”

“I plan on drinking Friday night. A lot!” I put on my heels and grab my purse. I plan on knocking his socks off with one hell of an outfit.

“Of course! You’re
supposed
to get drunk on your birthday,” she laughs as I lock up the front door.

“How are you two getting along?” she questions as soon as we get in her car.

“Good.” I want to keep this conversation short.

“That’s good. No more fights?”

“Nope.” I shake my head. “We get along really well when he’s not trying to tell me what I can and can’t do.”
Which is the truth.

“Are you going to tell me why you stayed away from him for two days and called in sick to work?”

I can tell she’s mad that I haven’t already filled her in. I just didn’t think I should tell her anything. How can I confess something to her that I’m trying to deny to myself?

I take a deep breath. “Holly, I didn’t want to tell you. He scared me was all.”

“Like you were afraid he was going to hurt you?” she asks, shocked. “Slade would
never
lay a hand on you, no matter how mad he gets.”

“That’s not it, Holls.” I’m getting frustrated. “He told me he loved me!”

“What?” she gasps. “He actually said he loved you?”

“Well not exactly in those words, but yes.” I clarify.

“That is so sweet.”

I watch her smile as she gives a little laugh.

“Wait. Why would that make you scared of him?”

“I couldn’t say it back,” I say, looking down at my hands. A silence settles in the car, making me wish I could delete this entire conversation.

“I know you love him,” she speaks softly, finally breaking the silence while pulling into the mall.

I look over at her somewhat nervous as she parks the car.

“I know it, Sam.” She shuts off the engine and turns to face me. “You do love him.” She grabs her purse and exit’s the car, so I grab mine and follow after her. “Do you have an idea what kind of dress you want to get?” she asks as she opens the door for me to enter the mall.

I smile, thanking God that conversation is over.

Holly and I spend three hours at the mall. I’m pretty sure we tried on every dress! Eventually we both found a dress, a purse to match and, of course, a new pair of high heels.

My cell phone rings as we are getting back into her car

“Hello, baby.”

“Hey, Angel. Are you busy right now?” He sounds stressed.

“No, why?”

“Well I just got a phone call and the truck is ready. I’m afraid I have to work late tonight, and by the time I get off they will be closed. Can you see if Holly can come get you at the house and take you to go get it? I’ve already paid for it. Just needs to be picked up.”

“Yeah, I’m actually with her right now. We went shopping, but are just leaving the mall. I will have her swing me by there.” I look over to Holly as she nods her head in agreement.

“Oh, you’re out shopping.” He sounds happy. He
will
be happy after he sees the dress he bought me.

“Yep. I bought a new dress, purse and heels.” I smile to myself.

“That’s great, Angel. I can’t wait to see them.”
I bet you can’t.

“What time will you get home tonight?”

“It will be late, probably after ten. I was given a new case today, and he already has a court date scheduled for next week. He just fired his lawyer yesterday which means I have a shit ton of stuff to do so that I’m ready by next week.” I can almost hear him running is hands through his hair. “What I don’t finish, I will have to bring back home and work on because I don’t plan on staying here all fucking night.”

“Should I stay at my place tonight so I won’t be in the way?”

“No! Are you fucking serious? Why the fuck would I want you to go home?”

I sigh. I didn’t mean to mean to make him mad. “I’m sorry,” I say sympathetically. He must be having a terrible day. “It was just a suggestion. I thought maybe you needed some time alone to get some work done. You don’t have to jump me about it.” I try to whisper so Holly can’t hear me, but I know she can.

“Look, I’m sorry Angel. Its….it has just been a long day, okay? I’ll see you when I get home.” He hangs up, leaving me holding the phone to my ear, wishing I could make his day better.

I turn to face Holly “Dobbs Tires on Chippewa street.”

She nods as she continues to look at the road. She is not going to ask any questions which I am very thankful for. My brain is going ninety miles an hour trying to come up with what I can do to cheer him up tonight. Maybe I will just go to bed early so he can get his work done. He needs some space to get stuff done, so I’ll just have to give him space without leaving the house.

An hour later, I pull up to the Slade’s house. After I picked up Nadia, I ran to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I got more stuff to make him lemon bars again, and I also purchased everything to make a lasagna. I turn on music and got busy making him dinner.

Once I finish in the kitchen, I write him a letter.

Baby,

I made you more lemon bars and there is also a lasagna in the fridge along with mashed potatoes and garlic bread. Hope your evening is better than your afternoon was. xoxo Angel

I turn the lights off and head to the bedroom.

I lay down in his bed, naked and relaxed.

I had cooked him dinner, then took a long hot bubble bath until my entire body resembled a prune.

I plug my phone in to charge.10:30 PM He’s still not home. I roll over and pull his pillow up under my arm. I love holding his pillow; it smells like him which makes me happy and helps me fall asleep. I doze off, hoping that his day got better.

“Good night, Angel.” I hear Slade say, but I can’t open my eyes. They are too heavy.

“What time is it?” I ask, barely above a whisper.

“It’s a little past three.” I feel him pull my body close to his. I place my arm around him and cuddle up to his warm body.

“Thanks for dinner. It was amazing,” he whispers to my hair.

“You’re welcome. Good night, baby” I say to his chest as I feel him kiss my head.