Undraland (17 page)

Charles Mace stared at me without blinking as he waited in the line. The nearer he got to me, the more nervous I became. His gaze was so intense, I wanted to hide from it. He seemed an outsider to the others. Most treated the space he took up as uninhabited, but it didn’t seem to bother him. I was his only concern, and every now and then his fingers twitched as if he meant to reach out toward me. For what? I don’t know. I addressed every other possible person until Mace was standing directly in front of me, daring me to look away from his silver irises.

I visibly backed up, my stranger danger alert beeping ominously. His lips pursed as if holding back an onslaught of questions.

Jens postured and moved closer to me, sizing up the threat Mace presented. I turned and glared at my guardian gnome until he backed away.

Mace did not notice anything in the room, except for me. His was not a romantic gaze, but a calculating stare. “I have questions for you.”

Uncle Rick answered for me. “You’ll have plenty of time for that over dinner tonight. Right now, we have guests, so keep it light, son.”

Mace nodded, still not looking away from me. “Will you be living here with Alrik?”

“I have no idea,” I responded, my voice growing mousy in his intimidating presence. “I just woke up here.”

Uncle Rick answered for me again. “Lucy will stay here with me as long as she likes.”

Mace’s angular jaw tightened. “Good.” He looked like he was struggling with himself. His volume dropped to a whisper. “We’ll have much to talk about over dinner, then. I’m one-quarter human, but I’ve only known Elvage. I would love to know more about where I came from.”

“Oh, sure. I’ll tell you all about it.” I was glad to know the source of his intensity. It made him give off less of a serial killer vibe in my mind.

When Mace seemed satisfied that I would not bolt if he took his eyes off me, he excused himself and exited the observatory. Jens followed him to the door and watched him disappear down the hall.

Twenty

Fighting with Jens

My stomach was in knots the entire afternoon, so I started the long process of settling in. I wanted to get Henry Mancini back from Foss and Nik, but that would involve going outside where more elves waited to bombard me with questions. Jamie took me back to my bedroom, where I shut myself inside and flopped on the bed. The beauty of the floating gold was not so enthralling anymore, now that my spirits were sufficiently down. The bed still felt like a cloud, so I stretched out on my stomach, digging my toes into the down of the mattress.

My door opened, announcing Jens’s entrance. “Get out,” I ordered.

“You know I can’t do that. You may not understand it yet, but you haven’t done much in the past five years that I wasn’t right there for.”

“New regime. Get out.”

“What are you thinking, ganking keys from an Elvage guard? What was that even for? Are you just bored, so you’re trying to cause trouble? Do you know how harsh penalties are around here?” Then he did a high-pitched imitation of my voice, his hands splayed near his face in a feminine manner. “Oh, Kristoffer, let me stroke your giant man muscles. Oh, Kristoffer, you’re so charming and funny. What is this? A cookie? I know so little about your mysterious land. Tell me more.” He snarled at me. “Pathetic.”

I kept Uncle Rick’s secret and dodged that line of questioning. “Please just go.”

He huffed. “Don’t be like this. I didn’t make the rules. I’m just doing my job.”

I tried to maintain some semblance of a calm demeanor, so he wouldn’t know how much he was getting to me. “It’s been a long day, and it’s barely halfway over. May I please, please have a little space? That’s all I’m asking.” I buried my face in my pillow. I was hungry, and my empty stomach was coercing more irritability into me than I would normally express.

“Look, I know I pissed you off, but you have to know we can’t be together. If you had more experience with men, you’d understand how bad we would be for each other.” He touched his throat and then rubbed the nape of his neck, trying not to tell me I had hit a nerve. “And that stunt you pulled kissing my neck like that? Never again.”

I rolled over on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “I don’t think I could want to punch you more right now. I get it. Loud and clear. Crystal. I’m over it. It was a moment of insanity. Now do us both a favor and find a new address.”

“Shut up. You’re just mad because I turned you down. You’re acting like a baby about it.” He held out his hand. “Give me the key.”

“What key?” I asked, meeting his fuming glare with an indifferent one.

“Kristoffer’s key. I’ll drop it back in his pocket, and he won’t be any the wiser. Hand it over.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He ran his tongue along the outside of his teeth before he spoke. “Give it. You have no idea what you’re playing at.”

I displayed my hands with a smile, proving they were empty. “I don’t have any key.”

He was steaming, his mouth opening and closing several times before he landed on what he wanted to say. He pointed to my breasts and shouted, “Don’t think I won’t go in there and get it myself!”

I met his fury with a hearty laugh. “You’ll do no such thing. Run along, little garden gnome. Try that story out on someone else.” I dropped my pitch to imitate his gruff cadence and said, “Lucy’s stealing keys from trained military men and hiding them in her bra!” I laughed again, laying back down on the bed and examining my nails. “Classic. When you tell it, make sure you mention to my uncle that you tried to threaten me with getting to second base. I’m sure he’ll love that.”

Jens was almost purple with rage. “That’s not what I…” He clenched his fists and let out a noise of frustration. “You’re punishing me for turning you down.”

“No, I’m punishing you for hanging around after leading me on and
then
turning me down. You know, in my non-experience, when a guy flakes on you, he usually has the decency to leave you alone with your embarrassment afterwards. I’ll say it again. Get out.”

Jens pulled at his hair, as if I was the one being the problem. “Fine. I’ll go check up on that Mace character. I knew Alrik had a kid, but I never met Charles. I don’t make many trips to Elvage. Most of my dealings with Alrik were on the Other Side.” He shook his head. “I don’t like the look of him, though. Something’s off, so stay away from him for now.”

“Just for that, I think I’ll make him my new best friend. Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Are you really going to be this difficult? This is who you are now?”

“Who I am?” I shouted, so angry I nearly forsook my non-violent ways. “You don’t know the first thing about me!”

He turned and yelled back. “I know everything about you!”

And you don’t want me. You’ve watched me for years, but you feel nothing for me.
I’ve always been and always will be asexual. It has nothing to do with moving around. Even if I’d stayed in one place, I would still repel men like the plague. Fine. Message received.

“Get out and don’t come back!” I commanded, pointing my shaking finger to the door.

Jens gave me a look that showed me how little he actually understood me before exiting. When he left, a gust of tension flew out of the room with him, to my great relief.

I dug the key out of my bra and examined it, and then tucked it back in its hiding place. I lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling for hours, content with my solitude. I focused on deep breathing and clearing my mind as best I could. It wouldn’t do to spend my time here with fury just underneath the surface. I mentally unwound each tightly knit bit of tension from my brain, breathing a little easier the longer I rested. Eventually I was able to be dazzled by the gold dust in the air again, and the sight gave me peace.

I’m thinking it was a few hours later when Britta came to see me. “Are you well, Miss Lucy?”

I let her in and shut the door behind her when I saw Jens in the hallway. “I’m fine. You can just call me Lucy, you know. We climbed around a mountain together. I think we’re past formalities.”

Britta smiled. “As you wish. Alrik sent me to fetch you for dinner.”

Thank goodness. The last meal I’d eaten was the apple from the red sack a day or more ago. “Thanks. Anything I should know before I go down? Do you eat with chopsticks or have separate tables for men and women or something?”

“No. Just forks and knives. And men and women eat together, but usually there’s a separate table for the higher society folk. Alrik believes in having one table, so I don’t think that will apply today.” She worried the hem of her sleeve. “I’m afraid I don’t know everything about your culture, so I’m not sure what all’s different. Jens never talked much when he came home to visit.”

“Huh. How often did he come home?”

“First Sun’s day of every month. Gone by the morning.”

“Jeez! Were we that in danger that he only had one day off a month?”

“I can’t speak to that. Jens never fit in very well at home, except with Jamie and me. After the troll incident, he was too famous too fast. The king hates him because the people adore him. Jens is a private person, so he took a job where he could be invisible.”

“I think I prefer him that way,” I groused, straightening my hair as I reached for the door.

Britta eyed me. “No, you don’t.”

I raised an eyebrow at her sudden gall. “I like you,” I declared.

Britta laughed. “Glad to hear it. I very much like you, as well. Shall we?”

As we walked past Jens and down the hallway, Britta drifted behind me. “Um, I don’t exactly know where we’re going. You don’t have to walk behind me, you know. Is that a thing here?”

“Your station is closer to Jamie’s, so yes. I walk behind you in proper society.”

I sighed and stopped, glaring at Jens to back far away. He obeyed and took several steps back. I turned to Britta. “No offense to your awesome society, but I don’t need a lady’s maid or whatever it is. I have no friends here. Could you just be my friend? Is that ridiculous to ask?” I felt so awkward begging her to be my friend, but pride be darned, I needed someone who would be nice to me. Someone I could survive this with.

Britta’s smile was warm when she reached out and held my hand. We walked like that down the many hallways, and I felt like a little girl, out to braid flowers in my hair with the neighbor girl for the afternoon. Britta was a nice addition to my empty life.

Henry Mancini scampered to greet me with a wagging tail and a silly, winded expression that told me Foss and Tor were giving him a good workout. “Hi, baby!” I got down on my knees and scooped my puppy to my chest. He squiggled and squirmed in my arms, trying to lick my face. My smile had gone unused in the past few hours, and it felt good to exercise it for him. “Did you miss me?”

Before I knew what was happening, Henry Mancini was ripped from my arms. “Hey!” I was on my feet, scowling at Jens. “He’s mine!”

“Jens!” Britta protested.

“He’s a wolf, Lucy! You can’t let a wolf that close to your face. He’s not a dog.”

“He’s mine! I found him, and he kept you alive by warming you up when you were almost dead! Give him back!” I was so near tears at him taking my dog away, I think it shocked Jens into handing him over.

“Fine! Jeez! Calm yourself down. Far be it from me to keep a wild animal from biting your face off.”

I hugged Henry Mancini, who could sense my tension. He licked my face to comfort me. “He was all alone when he found me! He has no one! I’m his mommy, Jens. You don’t just take someone away from their mother!”

Jens held his hands up and backed away, looking almost contrite that he’d confronted a crazy woman. “Okay. I get it. You can keep him for now, but if he starts nipping at you, I have to get rid of him.”

“No! You won’t burn him up, like you did my whole life. He’s a person, Jens! He has feelings!” I knew I was being irrational, but I didn’t care. In fact, given the amount of crazy I’d been subjected to in the new world, Jens was lucky this was the extent of my outburst.

Jens used his eyebrows to tell me how stupid I sounded. “I won’t kill him. I’ll just put him back in the wild.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” I snapped, turning on him and stomping in the direction of the scent of food with Henry Mancini scampering after me.

Twenty-One

Charles Mace

Foss, Nik, Tor, Uncle Rick, Jamie, Britta, and Charles Mace sat at the long dinner table that was laden with two large roasts, potatoes, a wide array of vegetables and brown pretzel rolls. The gold and crystal chandelier hung low to illuminate the gold walls that matched the rest of the house. The room was long, but narrow enough to feel cozy and accommodate the large table that seemed perfectly suited for our sizeable party.

I walked past my uncle, placed one hand on his shoulder in a hug, and reached out to hold his hand with my free one. Once our grips locke
d
, I pressed the key into his palm. I took a seat next to Uncle Rick, who was at the head of the table, and frowned when Jens squeezed in on my other side. Henry Mancini kept my feet warm.

“Pass the morötter,” Nik requested with a finger raised to gain Tor’s attention. Tor was ladling something that looked like a Brussels sprout soup over his mashed potatoes. The dwarf passed Nik the gnarled-looking purple carrots.

We all dug into the delicious pot roast, and I could not remember anything tasting so good. I cooked well enough, but I had nothing on my mom. She could work her way through any cookbook without breaking a sweat. There was no replacing her. As hard as I tried to be an adult and take care of everything myself, I was still only twenty and couldn’t make a decent lasagna to save my life. I could do chicken, so those were the dinners I had. A roast? A roast is a beautiful thing. I fed Henry Mancini scraps from my plate, and I could feel his love for me growing. That’s the thing about a good roast.

I was knee-deep in my second plate of food, ignoring the conversation around me when I noticed Mace staring. He sat across from me on Uncle Rick’s other side, taking slow bites as he watched me debase myself in my gluttony. I wiped my mouth on the cloth napkin and kept my eyes on my plate. Everyone else was regaling Uncle Rick and Jamie with their adventures on the mountain. I had little to add to that.

Jens scooted his chair closer to mine, as if he didn’t take up enough space. I continued to chew some vegetable that looked like a cross between asparagus and a tomato, and tasted something like both. I didn’t ask questions. I was just grateful someone was feeding me. The flavors were amazing, exploding on my tongue and livening my senses, and by proxy, my mood.

Mace’s fork was poised as if he meant to eat the food on it, but his hand forgot its mission. I could feel his eyes on me still, studying my every move.

Now Jens was fighting me for elbow room. I jabbed him off with my elbow, but he did not seem to notice my affront at his proximity. “Get lost,” I grumbled, clutching Henry Mancini closer between my ankles.

He responded by leaning his torso into my personal space, as if he was shielding me from something.

I released my fork with a clatter and crossed my arms. “Dude! Back off.”

Jens paid me no mind. “Rick, you want to tell your man to keep his eyes to himself?” He glared at Mace, motioning to me with his fork. “There’s nothing for you here.”

I wanted to snap at Jens for being rude, but the truth is that Mace was giving me a mild dose of the creeps. I kept my mouth shut, but kicked him under the table.

He didn’t even flinch, which made me feel pathetic that I couldn’t move him with my force. I instantly regretted my action. Martin Luther King, Jr. never would have kicked someone for being a jerk. I silently begged his forgiveness and vowed to use peaceful resistance next time.

Uncle Rick held up his hand to calm Jens. “Charles is of no threat to Lucy. In fact, if dinner is over, I would like a word with them both.”

I shoved three more bites in my mouth before anyone could take my plate away and gave Henry Mancini a chunk of meat. I ganked another roll from the basket before Uncle Rick’s housekeeper cleared the table. The housekeeper was graying, and kept from looking directly at the guests at the table. “Thank you, Delling,” Uncle Rick said to her as the others excused themselves for the night.

“Let me take yer yap outside till yer done eatin’,” Tor suggested.

I could only guess that he meant Henry Mancini. I gave my puppy one more snuggle before sending him off with Tor.

When Jens did not get up, I motioned for him to get lost. He responded by wrapping his legs around his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

I counted to four before speaking, making sure to keep my voice quiet. “Are you trying to be difficult? Uncle Rick didn’t mention you on the guest list to this conversation.”

Uncle Rick spoke up. “Actually, I prefer Jens stays. It’s his job to know about you, and this will affect you, for certain.”

Jens shot me a superior look with a raised eyebrow and a triumphant smirk I kind of wanted to smack.

I plastered on a stewardess smile, making sure I spoke quietly, so as not to lose my temper at Jens. “Then I’ll write it all down in a telegram and send it to him in Guam, where you can reassign him. You can even verify the note so he knows it’s not my wild imagination running away with me.” I waved my hands in the air as I spoke, and then brought them to cross over my chest, mirroring him.

Jens looked like he wanted to respond, but he swallowed down his retort, so as not to incriminate himself by admitting we almost kissed.

Uncle Rick leaned his elbows on the table and pressed his ebony hands together, resting his lips on his fingertips. “Are you both finished convincing me you’re unhappy?”

“Did it get him reassigned?” I asked petulantly.

“No. Jens is permanent.”

“Then, no. I’ve got a whole laundry list for you.”

“Save it for later, dear. This is more important.” Uncle Rick motioned to Mace. “Allow me to properly introduce you to Charles Mace. I was given the privilege of caring for him over two decades ago when he came to me as a boy. His mother was Huldra, and was banished when he was very young. His parents did not trust the Other Side, since it would be teeming with jilted and angry Huldras, so they entrusted him to me.”

Something dinged in the back of my brain, but I could not place what. Charles’s gaze had not left my face. He did not seem perturbed that his messy childhood was on the table for open discussion.

“The Huldra are a people with strict aesthetics. They look like taller humans, but with cow’s tails about two feet long stemming from the base of their spine.”

“Huh? Cow’s tails?” Another ding went off, but I still could not place the connections my brain was making without any help from me.

Charles Mace reached behind him and slid a real, live cow’s tail over the top of his pants to show me.

“Whoa! Cool!” I exclaimed. I couldn’t look away from the odd sight.

Uncle Rick continued, smiling. “His father and mother went over to the Other Side. She got her tail removed and put her Huldra ways behind her. They started a new life and had two children, raising them in the human world. The boy was born with a small tail, and the girl was… you, dear. Completely and perfectly human.”

I was very still, letting the floating gold cease motion around me. The dings in my head blared like sirens now. My mother had a scar at the base of her spine that she said she got falling down the stairs when she was a teenager.

My parents had another child. A whole other kid I’d never known existed. My heart began to pound so loud, it was the only sound I heard, though Uncle Rick was still speaking.

Linus. He was born with a vestigial tail that they’d amputated when we were newborns. We always said that we would get matching tattoos to cover up his scar when we turned twenty-one. He was always a little sensitive about his scar, though no one could see it. It was the one thing he wished he could change about himself, other than, you know, the crapbag of cancer.

Now that I knew the whole picture, it seemed to me that Linus hated his scar a little too much. My breath caught, forcing my words to choke out of me. “Did… did Linus know?”

When Uncle Rick looked at me with that cursed pity, the blood drained from my face. “I told Linus who he was on his seventeenth birthday when he was in the hospital and they didn’t think he would make it.”

I remembered that birthday. Linus hadn’t spoken to me for days. I blamed it on the chemo. It did funky things to your body and could crush even the brightest spirit. Spending your seventeenth birthday in the hospital is no one’s idea of fun. That was when he started treating me like his kid sister, instead of his equal.

I stood up from the table abruptly, but my knees were unprepared. They buckled under me, but I was yanked upright before I could plummet to the ground. Jens sat me in my chair, but my spine felt like a noodle. Echoes of my father telling me to sit up straight in my chair at dinner taunted me, but I couldn’t obey.

Uncle Rick and Jens were saying something. It must’ve been important with the way they were carrying on, but I couldn’t hear a word. Incoherent noise with no meaning reached me, burying me deeper in my fog.

Home.
This place wasn’t my home. I didn’t belong. I wasn’t related to Uncle Rick by blood. I tried to piece together that Charles Mace was my brother, but my sandcastle of sense crumbled every time I tried to put structure to it.

Suddenly my feet felt wrong here. I put all my brainpower into telling my legs to move, and finally they obeyed, pitying me as they went.

“Lucy, sit down,” Uncle Rick insisted.

Jens tried to lead me back to my chair, like I was a senile old woman caught roaming the streets on her own at night.

I pulled away and reached for the door. “Air. I need air.” Bull. I was going to run. As soon as my legs cooperated, I was going to bolt. I didn’t care where or how, but I knew I needed Henry Mancini to come with me, and he was outside.

Jens held onto my triceps, searching my face for signs of life. “No, Loos. Just take a breath.”

I felt cold all over, but somehow managed to struggle out of his grip. “I need air! I can’t breathe in here!” I turned the knob and flung open the door, stumbling back and falling on my rear at the burst of unnatural sunlight that temporarily blinded me. My eyes shut tight as I moved to my hands and knees on the wood floor. I smacked the ground when Jens reached for me. “Don’t you touch me! You knew! You knew all of it! Did Linus know about you?”

“It wasn’t my decision!” I could hear the plea for clemency in his tone.

I let out a single cry of despair, and then slapped the ground again, my eyes still shut. “No! I will not cry in front of you!”

Uncle Rick and Charles were talking at me, but I could not understand the mix of voices all colliding with each other in dissonance. It was Jamie’s voice that reached me above the din.

“Miss Lucy! Close the door, or you’ll hurt your eyes.” Jamie ran in and shut the door before me, taking in the men all shouting, and me shaking with heartbreak and rage on the floor. Instead of asking for explanations, he scooped me up off the floor like a child, lending me one arm for support for me to lean on and the other as a shield around my shoulders. “You should all be ashamed of yourselves! When you are ready to apologize for upsetting this woman so, she’ll be in her chambers.”

Jamie walked with me up to the bedroom, where I climbed under the covers and shut out the world.