UNDYING: A Bad Boy MMA Romance (Midwest Alphas) (Book 3) (12 page)

I step around her. “I’ll be back later.”

“Wait— why
Pike
?”

I pause with my hand on the doorknob. “Because… he’s helping me with something.”

“Like what?” she asks, her voice firm and suspicious.

“Don’t worry about it.” I twist the knob and pull the door open to find my way blocked by a familiar set of shoulders.

“Oh, thank
god—
” Amy moans. “Tobias, will you talk some sense into her, please?”

He looks down at me with rosy red cheeks. His hair is stiff, almost frozen by frost and cold. “Where are you going?” he asks me.

I move back from the door and he steps inside, tracking small drops of moisture on the bottom of his shoes. He stares at me, waiting for an answer that I don’t give him.

Amy grabs a bag of chips off the bed, along with her purse and coat. “I’ll be down the hall in Ryan’s room. I’d much rather tip-toe around him right now than deal with
this
.”

Tobias holds up his hand. “Wait, Amy— don’t leave. I’m not staying.”

I look up at him. “What?”

“Yeah, uh…” He pushes his hand back through his wet hair. “Ryan is letting me stay with him tonight. Amy, you’ll stay here with Claire—”

“Oh,
really
?” she asks.

“Tobias, what’s going on?” I ask.

“Can we talk a minute?” he asks me, gesturing out into the hall.

I look at Amy and she shrugs her shoulders before I follow him out. “Tobias, what is it?”

He closes the door and scans the empty hall. “I need you…” he pauses. “I need you to stay here tonight.”

“Yeah, I got that already,” I say. “What’s wrong? Is my mother—?”

“No, she’s fine—”

“No, she’s
not
,” I argue.

“Dad is heading there now and he’s hoping to have a new place set up for her by morning.”

“You can tell him not to bother,” I mutter. “Rick will find her anyway…”

“No, he won’t,” he says with a voice of comfort.

“I already spoke with him, Tobias. He has people following her. It won’t matter where she goes, he’ll know where she is.”

“You—” His voice drops and he heaves an angry sigh. “Claire, we’ll deal with that, I promise — but right now, I need to say something…”

I pause. “Tobias, what—”

“I love you, Claire,” he whispers, his eyes closing softly. “But…”

“But?”
I parrot back at him. “I’m sorry, Tobias, but that word isn’t necessarily something I need to hear right now following
I love you
.”

“Pike was right,” he says. “Now that you’re home, I want to fall back into you, but I can’t. Not now.”

“You’re actually listening to him?” I seethe. “After everything he has done to you, you’re siding with him instead of me?”

“I’m not taking sides, Claire. I’m doing what’s best for us—”

“And what is that exactly?”

“Taking a break.”

“A break?”
I repeat. “Tobias, I can’t take a break right now.”

“It’s only for a few days,” he whispers.

“We may only have a few days left!”

He inhales slowly. “Not if I keep my focus now.”

“Six months,” I point out. “That wasn’t a long enough break for you?”

“Claire—”

“I’ve been back less than
three days
!”

He closes his eyes. “I know.”

I stare at him, hoping that he’ll say something else, anything that’ll kill the darkness devouring my insides, but he stays quiet. “I don’t have a say in this at all, do I?”

“Please don’t make this harder than it already is, Claire,” he deflates. “I’m trying to get us what we want.”

“What
we
want? I leave town and I completely lose my mind, but it’s what
you
wanted.”

“I
never
wanted that—”

“I come home, which is what
I
wanted, but you push me away. If you ask me,
we
don’t want the same things
at all
anymore, Tobias…” I turn back to the door, intending to leave him behind in the hallway, but he pulls me back to him, cradling me with one, swift movement. I feel his lips on mine, cold and firm. They tremble with his kiss, begging for more, but he holds himself steady.

“Do you remember back then?” he whispers with closed eyes, his voice at the edge of a growl. “Before we were together, I said I wanted to take comfort in you, but
I couldn’t
. We had to wait. Do you remember that?” He opens his eyes and waits for me answer him.

“Yes.”

“This feels
worse…
” His lips brush against mine. “Now I know how you feel against me and what you taste like…”

My entire body shakes. “We’re stronger
together
, Tobias—”

“I think about you like that…
with him.
I think about the things you’ll be forced to do if I fail and I just…” He stares into my soul, his hands trembling against my face.

“You made me promise not to leave your side,” I whisper. “We don’t break our promises…”

“I know… but this is what I have to do, Claire.”

My heart breaks in two and tears form behind my eyes. “Then go,” I finally say, giving in to everything my love for him rejects. He claims my lips with one more kiss, hard and true, before letting me go and turning away. “I love you, too.”

He looks back at me for a brief moment, but he doesn’t let his eyes linger on me for long. “I’m going to fix this, Claire. I promise…”

I manage to hold it together until he rounds the corner and disappears from view. My body convulses with thick sobs and I fall back against the door. With my eyes shut tight, I imagine our perfect morning again. Waking up with him after months apart was a dream, a fucking cloud nine of emotional satisfaction. I don’t even want to the think about the possibility of it never happening again.

I turn around and push open the hotel room door. Amy’s voice breaks the silence as I step inside. She has her phone against her ear and she bites her lip in frustration.

“Uh huh…
uh huh
…” Her head jerks back and forth as anger fills her eyes. “This is crap, you know that, right?”

I sit down on the bed and wipe the tears off my eyes, but they spill over again.

“Ryan, I’m
sorry
, but I didn’t have a choice. Desperate times call for— No,
you’re
being immature! ... Fine.” She heaves a sigh and tosses the phone down onto the bed behind me. “Boys are so stupid!” she mutters through clenched teeth as she plops down beside me.

“Yeah?” I sniff. “What did yours do?”

“He’s still mad at me for quote
dragging him into this tournament
unquote,” she answers. “Doesn’t want to see me for a while. What did yours do?”

I wipe my cheek. “He loves me too much.”

She chuckles before tossing her arm around me. “What a
jerk
.”

Chapter 10

Out Of Practice

“Tobias!”

I don’t know how long I’ve been screaming. My throat burns with each new breath I take. I don’t remember the last time I felt my heart beat. I feel nothing but the cold darkness surrounding me. The abyss smells like freshly mixed tar. It covers my skin in black ash. I can’t seem to wipe the stickiness off my fingers.

“Tobias!”

His name travels back at me in soft echoes.

“Claire!”

I stand up off the ground. My heart finally springs back to life, pumping blood through my veins. I sprint quickly towards his voice, pushing against the shaking earth. Black hands grab at my limbs to hold me back, but I jerk myself free of them, refusing to falter.

“Tobias!”

I see him, standing with his back turned beneath a stunning red and orange spotlight. I fill my lungs with fresh air, hoping to expel the thick tar clinging against my lungs, but they fill with smoke instead.

“Tob—” I cough it out, choking between breaths as I stumble and fall to my knees in front of him.

He turns around slowly and I realize that it’s not Tobias at all.

I stare up into his green eyes and scream as he erupts into a wall of fire.

***

“Hey, Charlie,” I say into my phone. “Is everything okay?”

I listen for his response as I stare up at the hotel ceiling, squinting at the morning light seeping in through cracks in the curtains. Amy breathes softly in the bed next to mine, completely lost to the world, or at least she will be for another ten minutes until her alarm goes off. I’ve been up for hours, tossing and turning outside of sleep’s grip.

The nightmares have returned. I can still smell the smoke attached to the inside of my nostrils.

“As good as can be expected, I guess,” Charlie answers. “You were right, your mother has a tail on her and it won’t be easy to lose them.”

“Do you think you can?”

“I’m honestly not sure. They seem well-trained.”

I bite my lip. “Thanks for trying, Charlie.”

“Luckily, they haven’t noticed that they themselves are being watched. So, while trained, they are not too bright.”

I chuckle. “Pretty much sums up the Kings, I think.”

“My guys in Kansas City will find a window of opportunity and we’ll get her out,” he says. “Don’t worry, Claire.”

I lean back against the headboard. “Have you ever dealt with something like this before?” I ask.

“Once.”

“How did it end?”

He pauses. “Try and stay positive, Claire.”

I close my eyes, refusing to imagine why he chose that response above all others. “Is it all right if I call her?”

“Sure,” he says. “But first… how are you doing?”

“Oh, same old, I guess…”

“Claire…
same old with you isn’t exactly reassuring.”

“I’m fine, Charlie,” I say. “The last few days have been a little rough, but I’m keeping it together.”

“Well, if that changes, you call me. We’ll have one of our
chats.”

A laugh breaks through me. “I kind of missed those…”

“Me, too, kid.” He sighs. “Go ahead and call your mother. She’s been wanting to hear from you.”

“Okay. Thanks, Charlie.”

“Take care of yourself, Claire.”

I hang up and immediately dial the number for our not-so-secret apartment. It rings twice before she answers with a stiff yawn. “Mom? Sorry if I woke you.”

“Oh, honey,” she says. “Who the hell could sleep at a time like this?”

“I know what you mean…” I lean down against my pillows, finding comfort in her voice. “Are you okay? It’s a dumb question, but…”

“I’m
okay
,” she answers. “I was doing awful but then Charlie brought me a gun. I used to hate these things, but now I’m quite the fan.”

I chuckle. “They won’t hurt you, Mom. As long as I keep my promise, they won’t touch you.”

“Well, I’m not taking any chances. Did Charlie tell you about the secret knock? We have a secret knock for the door. Isn’t that cool?”

“Wouldn’t be much of a secret knock if he
did
tell me about, Mom.”

“Oh, right.”

Amy’s phone beeps loudly, instantly stirring her awake. She sits up in bed with bright eyes and kicks her blanket away; forever the morning person.

“Mom, I have to go. I just wanted to hear from you that you were okay…”

“Oh, I’ve got bodyguards and guns,” she jokes. “Mommy’s gonna be just fine.”

“That’s good…” I smile.

“I know it’s hard, honey,” she says, “but at least you’re with Tobias now, right?”

“Yeah,” I mutter, feeling the sharp stab to my heart. “At least I’m with Tobias.”

***

I push the curtains apart and peek out into the bright, winter wonderland outside. Our hotel room is on the tenth floor, giving me a pretty good view of the city completely obscured by a blanket of snow and ice. I’d give anything to be a child again and have a chance to actually enjoy it. Out of school. No responsibilities. Just me in a huge coat and gloves, making snow angels and throwing snowballs at friends until my mother pokes her head out to tell me to come back inside for hot cocoa and Charlie Brown specials.