UNDYING: A Bad Boy MMA Romance (Midwest Alphas) (Book 3) (27 page)

I chuckle as I pull open my dresser drawer. “You certainly
look
better than I’ve seen you in weeks,” I agree.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Piper,” she says, “but can I borrow Kai next weekend?”

“Absolutely not.”

She laughs and rolls over to inspect my suitcase at the foot of the bed. “How long will you be gone?” she asks.

“A week, I think,” I say as I pull out a few clean pairs of socks.

“You think?”

I nod. “Kai won’t tell me how long we’re going or where we’re staying or what cities we’re going to visit.”

“Oh, man…” she laughs. “I bet that’s
killing you
.”

“You are correct.” I walk over and stuff a few pairs of panties into the suitcase. “He said to prepare for everything though, so that’s what I’m doing.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” she says.

“I’m not worried.”

“Really?” Mandy leans forward. “Because you look worried.”

“Not worried…” I turn back to the dresser, but pause slightly as a bought of dizziness strikes my brain. “I’m just a little distracted, is all.”

Mandy reaches into the suitcase and pushes the clothes down to make more room. “Distracted how?”

I take a deep, slow breath. “I have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Like what?” she pushes. “School is over.”

“Yes, school is over, but life never ends.” I say it with a little much force and I see Mandy’s head twitch in my direction.

“Okay…” she mutters. “What’s going on, Piper?”

I sigh and turn around. She looks back at me with expectant eyes. The words burn on my tongue, eager to touch the air, but as I open my mouth to speak, another wave of nausea hits my core. I grip the dresser to hold myself up.

Mandy stands up from the bed, her eyes full of worry. “Sit down,” she says. I let her pull on my arm and she leads me to sit down beside her.

“I feel sick,” I say.

“Yeah, you
look
sick.”

“And I’m late.”

“Late?” She stares at me with confusion until the light finally shines behind her eyes. “
Late?
Like
late
late?”

“Like late late,” I say.

“How late?”

“Four weeks.”

Her eyes go wide.”That’s
really
late.”

“I know.”

“Have you been using protection?”

“Of course. I haven’t missed a pill since I was fourteen.”

Mandy smirks. “It seems Kai’s sperm has just as much stamina as he does.”

“It would not surprise me.”

“I always imagined Kai’s sperm with big, rippling muscles wearing a vest with like… you know, shotgun shells strapped to it or whatever.” She flexes her arms. “Real
manly
sperm.”

“I’m sorry… you
always imagined
his sperm?” I ask. “Do you sit around and imagine what people’s sperm looks like?”

“What?” she grins. “You don’t?”

A laugh blows past my lips, but it refuses to stay. “As much as I’d love to laugh about this, I’m not quite ready yet, Mandy.”

“Sorry.” She drops the smile and takes on a more comforting tone. “Does Kai know?”

“I don’t know how to tell him,” I whisper. “Something like
this
will destroy us.”

“Your relationship is
not
that fragile, Piper.”

“Isn’t it?” I pause, searching for the correct words. “We used to have so much passion for each other.”

She scoffs. “And you still do. Believe me, I could see it last night.”

“Last night was the most fun we’ve had together in
weeks
, Mandy,” I admit. “Why do you think I suggested it in the first place? He’s getting bored of the same old Piper Lynch.”

“No, he’s not,” she laughs.

“Why else would he plan this trip?” I ask. “He wants to go back to how it used to be, back to when it was just about clean, simple fun. Now, we’ve been together too long and we’ve lost that fire. We rarely even fight or bicker anymore and that was
our thing
. Do you know what we did last Friday night while you were at home visiting your mom?”

“No, what?”

“We ate cereal and fell asleep on the couch together watching the news,” I say. “That
literally
happened. To
us.
A year ago, if one of our roommates was gone for the weekend, we would have had sex on every fucking surface of the damn apartment.”

“Well, I’ll ignore that last detail,” she says, clearing her throat, “and move on to the more obvious point of
you’re comfortable with each other.
That’s what intimacy is. Most normal people dream about finding someone to eat cereal with.”

“But Kai and I aren’t like normal people, remember?” I ask, shaking my head. “No, something like this will definitely tear us apart.”

“Or… it’ll bring you closer together,” she argues. “Babies aren’t exactly a death sentence, Piper.”

I pause, reacting to the word. “Oh, wow…” I breathe.

“What?”

A black rock settles in my stomach, weighing me down. “I’m the worst person in the world.”

“Why?”

“For four weeks, I’ve thought about this and at no point did I ever think of the word
‘baby.’
It’s just been
me this
and
my body that
and
what about this
…” I stare at the white wall ahead of me. “There’s a
baby
inside of me.”

“Well, you don’t know that for sure yet, right? Have you taken a test?”

“No,” I say. “I bought one a week ago. I just can’t bring myself to take it.”

“Why not?”

“Because then it’s
real
. Then it’s a real problem that needs a real solution.”

She settles her arm around my shoulders. “You know what’s easier than coming up with a solution on your own?”

“What?”

“Coming up with a solution…
with your partner
,” she says. “You have to tell him, Piper.”

“I was going to. Then this trip came up. I don’t want to ruin it for him.”

“You have to tell him, Piper,” she repeats.

“I will after I confirm whether or not its real.”

“You have to tell him, Piper.”
She stares back at me with a raised brow.

I sigh. “
And I will
— when the moment is right.” I meet her eyes and she doesn’t budge from her piercing stare. “He doesn’t want this, Mandy.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he said so.”

“When?”

“At dinner, last night.” I remember the moment and a chill runs through my body. “His mother mentioned grandchildren, and Kai got the most terrified look in his eyes. He could barely even speak.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Or…” I sigh. “It means
everything
.”

“Well, Piper,” she begins, “either way, you’re going to have to toughen up. Take the test, figure out what you want, and then
tell him
.”

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am.” She straightens her posture. “This is what I do.”

Lightning strikes my brain as I stare back at her. “Come with us,” I say.

She furrows her brow. “What?”

“Yeah…” Excitement charges through me. “Come with us to Europe.”

“Umm…” She presses her lips together.
“No.”

“Please.”
I shift in her direction.

“I’m not crashing your romantic getaway adventure,” Mandy says. “Kai obviously planned this trip for two and only two.”

“You don’t have to be attached to our hips,” I say. “I just want you to be there in case this whole thing goes south.”

She shakes her head. “It’s not going to go south, Piper…”

“And don’t tell me that a week away from Shawn Monty doesn’t sound a little tempting,” I add. She takes a quick breath and I know she’s considering the idea. “He still calls you a few times a week, doesn’t he?”

“He stopped for a little bit,” she says. “But now that school is over, I think he’s realized that he won’t be able to
accidentally
run into me on campus anymore. I woke up with four texts from him this morning.”

“See?” I nudge her ribs. “
‘Sorry, I’m on a train with no cell reception’
is a
really
great excuse for not calling someone back.”

She sighs. “You don’t think Kai will mind?”

“Of course not,” I say. “Kai loves you. And hey — you play your cards right and I might conveniently
disappear
and let you borrow him for an hour or two.”

Mandy laughs. “I wasn’t serious about that.”

“I know,” I smile back with a quick wink. “But stranger things have happened…”

Her eyes go narrow and she stares at me through her long eye lashes. “Fine,” she says. “I’ll go with you, but for moral support only.”

“And to get away from Shawn.”

“And to get away from Shawn,” she repeats, nodding her head.

I wrap my arms around her. “Thank you, lady.”

She embraces me and runs her fingers through my hair. “And as your official, elected, moral support counselor, I say there’s one thing that needs to happen first.”

“What?” I ask.

She pulls away and sets her hand on mine. “Take the test, Piper.”

I knew she’d say it before the words left her mouth.

Take the test, Piper.

School is over. I worked hard and earned my degree. I thought I already took the last test I’d ever take — but maybe I haven’t. Maybe pissing on a plastic stick isn’t a test at all. The real test will be what comes after.

I shouldn’t be this nervous anyway.

Tests are only difficult when you don’t know the answers to the questions.

I already know the answer to this question.

***

“Piper, answer me.”

I look up from my shoes, but I let my long hair shield the sides of my red face. Strangers pass by around us in the airport lobby. I avoid their eyes. I know, logically, that they all have their own thoughts in their heads and that they don’t have the time nor the desire to be preoccupied with me, but I still feel like I’m being watched. Phantom spiders crawl up my arms and legs. I can’t stand still. I can’t think straight.

I just can’t.

“Piper…”

“Don’t go, Mom.”

My mother sighs and lowers her bag to the floor. “I have to go,” she says. “You know that.”

I shake my head. “No, you don’t. You can stay here, you don’t have to leave. Don’t let him do this—”

She reaches out and grabs my shoulders. “You listen to me,” she says. “This isn’t about him. This is about me.”

“And what about me?” I whimper.

“Piper…” she smiles, “you’re going to be just fine.”

“I don’t feel fine.”

“But you will, someday.” She pauses to glance around the lobby, then leans in closer. “Piper, no one’s perfect.”

I scoff. “So I’ve heard.”

“Especially me. The choices I’ve made… Someday, you may have a daughter of your own and I’m hoping that you never have to make the same decisions as I have.”

I shake my head, fighting tears. “I hate this…”

“Piper.” She holds me still and stares into my eyes. “Don’t cry. Don’t let anyone see your weaknesses. Ever. Not even me.” I break down. She pulls me in and I bury my face in her sweater. “I love you, Piper. None of this is your fault.”

I take a deep breath. An angry heat rises in my chest. She’s right. This isn’t my fault. This isn’t her fault, either. There’s only one person responsible for all of this. He’s getting everything he wants while everyone else suffers.

I pull back and wipe the tears off my face. “I love you, too, Mom,” I say.

She smiles at me. “Here…” She pulls her necklace off her head and slips it over mine. “Take this.”