Authors: Joanne Schwehm
He looked at Brett, who looked at Julie, who looked at me. “I
rented a villa in Tuscany and Sicily, and we’re staying at a hotel in France.”
Okay, that wasn’t what I really meant. I really was wondering
what the sleeping arrangements were. I looked over at Julie, who had an I-am-going-to-have-so-much-sex-on-this-trip
look in her eyes, and I totally knew that she would be sharing a room with
Brett. I was sure they’d had sex from the comments that she’d made about him
and the way they were so familiar with each other. I must have had the opposite
look on my face.
Alex whispered in my ear, “Aubrey, you can have your own room if
you’d like. This is a business trip, and I don’t want you to feel
uncomfortable.”
Oh, yeah, I was uncomfortable, not with the sleeping arrangements
but with this conversation. I needed to change it. Brett was looking at Julie as
if she was wearing a French maid’s outfit and at me as if I were wearing a nun’s
habit. I had to change the subject, but thankfully, our food arrived, so the crisis
was avoided. The guys and Julie were talking about the marketing plan, and I
had thoughts of sex in my head. I really wanted him. What if he didn’t want me?
I was really hoping that something would happen tonight. Should I initiate it? I
had a hundred thoughts running through my head.
“So what do you think, Aubrey?” I faintly heard my name. I looked
up and everyone was looking at me.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Alex laughed, “Did you hear anything that we said?”
Can I just die right now, please
? “No, I’m sorry. I
didn’t. I was thinking of everything I need to do before we leave.”
“Well, why don’t you girls take off? Brett and I will pay the
check and see you girls later.”
I slid out of the booth and Alex followed me. He walked in front
of me and turned around so I would have to stop. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, Alex, I am. Sorry, I’m just distracted. I have a lot on my
mind right now.”
“I hope I’m part of that.” He smiled at me.
I was breathing heavier. “You’re most of it.” Julie walked up to
us and grabbed my arm to pull me away from Alex. “I’ll see you later.” I blew
him a kiss since I was halfway out the door. He smiled and went back to Brett.
Dinner with Mark and Julie was nice. I really hoped
that we took his mind off Jessica, even if only for an hour or two. I felt a
connection to Mark. Even though I had only known him for two weeks or so, I was
comfortable around him. He was easy to talk to and a genuinely nice guy. I was
really angry with Jessica, and I didn’t even know her. I never understood how
someone could just walk away or in her case fly away without a second thought. I
wish I knew someone to set him up with.
Julie and I felt horrible about talking about our impending trip
to Europe. We weren’t going to say anything, but since Mark was in the meeting
with Brian, he asked us how it went. He seemed happy for us, but I know as soon
as he heard “Europe” he thought of Jessica. I told him we would bring some wine
back for him and get together with him when we got back.
I was out later than I thought I would be, and I needed to put my
purchases from my shopping excursion with Julie away. I think I spent
everything that I had made so far at Walker-Stone. I bought some lingerie,
sundresses, comfy shoes for the trip, and some lingerie for tonight, just in
case. I also found a gorgeous one-shouldered, sapphire-blue, chiffon gown for
the benefit. According to Julie and the salesperson, it brought out my eyes. I
guess that was a good thing. I looked at the clock, and it was getting late. I
wondered when Alex would be over.
I decided to change into my new pink lacey cheeky thong and bra. I
didn’t know if he would see it, but it made me feel pretty and actually gave me
a little confidence knowing that I had something sexy on. I shaved my legs for
the second time that day and was thankful that I’d gotten my lady parts waxed
while I was out. I put on a cotton sundress that had a pattern of white and
pink flowers, orchids to be exact. That was intentional. I put my hair up in a
messy pony tail with loose curls around my face, a little blush on my cheeks,
clear lip gloss on my lips, and put on my nude peep-toe pumps to finish my
ensemble. Now all I needed was Alex.
I put on some soft music, lit a few candles, and grabbed my
journal.
Entry 5—Alex—I’ve fallen
Today Alex surprised Julie and me. He told us he was taking us
to Europe for business. I really am falling for him. I trust him, which is weird
for me. Do I tell him? Do I wait for him to tell me? What do I do? I think I’ll
write a book entitled
My First Love,
and it will be all about Alex and
my feelings for him. Even if this doesn’t work out, which would completely
depress me, he is my first love. My heart is racing just writing that line. Can
you imagine when I write a book? I hope it has a happy ending. Oooh, my buzzer
is ringing. My first love may be here!
Until tomorrow . . .
I tried to collect myself. I pushed the intercom button. “Yes.”
“Hey, beautiful, it’s me.”
My heart raced just hearing his voice. I buzzed him in and took a
quick peek in the mirror.
He knocked on my door, and when I opened it, his mouth fell open.
“Wow, Aubrey. You look amazing! Let me look at you.”
I backed up and twirled around for him. He grabbed my hand and
pulled me into him to dance. The music was on, and it was a slow, soft song.
The vocalist sang of lovers who were far away from each other and who would
look at the ocean in hopes that the waves would carry their voices to the other
side. My hands were on the back of his neck, and his hands were laced on the
small of my back. I tipped my head back to look at him.
He looked back at me. “Please tell me you did not have this dress
on when you met Mark for dinner.”
“Nope, this dress and what’s under it is just for you.” I felt so
unabashed. Yes, that was unabashed for me. Some women may have answered the
door in just the cheeky thong.
He tilted his head and gave me the most incredible smile. “What’s
under the dress?” He moved his eyebrows up and down. He was so cute.
Yup, here come my nerves. Can I do this?
I took his hand
and brought him over to the couch. “Would you like a drink? Wine?”
He leaned into the cushion of the couch. “Sure, that would be
great.”
I went into the kitchen and asked, “Is white okay?” I was afraid
that if I had red wine I’d spill it.
“White wine is fine, but I’d rather have you.”
I thought I was going to spill the wine all over. He really is an
amazing man. I was glad I was getting to know him and that Julie assured me
that he didn’t seem like a player anymore. I was laughing inside thinking about
the tame-the-player entry in my journal. I wondered if he would laugh about
that. I hoped that someday, when we were old and gray, we would laugh about it.
Old and gray? Where did that come from? I shook my head to get those thoughts
out of it.
I brought our wine to the living room. It dawned on me that the
wine I was serving wasn’t even close to what we would be having on our trip. I
handed him his glass, and he looked at me from head to toe. His expression
changed. It wasn’t a lustful look or even a happy one. He looked sad. Had I done
something?
“Alex, is everything okay?” Holy crap, what happened from the
kitchen to here?
“Everything is fine. I just noticed the flowers on your dress.”
Oh, no, did he not like that I chose a dress with orchids on it?
“My mom and sister would have loved you, Aubrey. I wish they were
here.” He set his wine glass on the coffee table and took mine and did the same.
He took my hands in his and pulled me onto his lap. His arms were now around my
waist, and his forehead was on my shoulder.
“If they were like you, I’m sure I would have loved them too. I’m
sorry if I made you sad tonight. It wasn’t my intention. I did think of you
when I saw this dress. It reminded me of the flowers you’d given me. I saw it
and it made me smile, just like when I see you.”
He had a pensive look on his face, as if he were thinking about
what I’d said. What did I say? I started thinking about it.
Oh no! I said
that if they were like him I would love them. Did he not want me to say that? Did
I say that I loved him? I guess he could think that. Oh my God it was too soon.
Do I love him?
I tried to stand up and get out of this funky conversation. As
soon as I moved, he held me tighter. I just looked at him with no expression. I
shifted on his lap a little; I was feeling really uncomfortable.
“Aubrey, did I hear what I thought I heard?”
“I don’t know. What do you think you heard?” I could tell he
didn’t want to tell me, and I didn’t know if I wanted to tell him. I would
probably scare him off.
Shit. This is why I suck at this.
I thought if
we stopped talking it would be for the best.
I straddled him as we sat on the couch. I put my hands around the
back of his head and pulled him to me. Our mouths crushed together. His tongue
. . . Man oh man, his tongue . . . The way it perused my mouth I could only
imagine what it would do in other areas. I couldn’t get enough.
He pulled away, breathing heavily. “Aubrey, I want you. I haven’t
wanted anyone as much as I do you.” His mouth was on mine again.
I looked into his gorgeous eyes. “I want you too, Alex.”
With that, he stood up. My legs were now wrapped around his waist,
and my head rested on his shoulder. He carried me down the hall and paused. “My
bedroom’s on the left.” I could feel his smile on the top of my head.
He set me down so I was standing in my bedroom. He reached around
to my back and unzipped my dress. It slid down my body and pooled at my feet,
exposing my new pink lacey lingerie. He looked at me, making me feel so wanton.
I was shocked that I didn’t feel embarrassed or self-conscious.
He laid me down on my bed and just hovered over me. Supported by
his gloriously muscular arms, he looked into my eyes. “Are you sure, Aubrey?”
“Alex, I have never been surer of anything or anyone . . . ever.”
That was his green light, and boy did he go. He slid the straps of my bra down,
exposing my breasts, which were aching to be touched.
He kissed my collarbone and up my neck. “You’re beautiful,
Aubrey. I’ll never hurt you.” He continued his kissing trail behind my ear,
which made me flinch.
God, was he real? His hands gently cupped my breasts, his lips now
on mine. His kiss was so gentle. He moved his hands to the sides of my head,
threading his fingers through my hair, making my breasts miss his touch.
“Alex.” I couldn’t catch my breath; he felt so good; this felt so
right. “I’ll never hurt you, either.” It was at that point I decided I would
rather live romance than just write about it.
We kissed as if we couldn’t get enough of each other, our tongues
exploring each other’s mouths. He pulled his head away and trailed kisses down
my neck, finding the spot that sent chills through me. I giggled, tipped my
head down, and brought my shoulder up because it tickled.
He laughed. “Did I find a sensitive spot?” He trailed more kisses
down my chest, kissing each breast, down my stomach to the top of my panties. He
pulled back and rolled off me. His index finger traced the top of my panties
and down my sides, grazing the outside of my thighs, to the inside of my legs. I
instinctively spread my legs for him. I looked down at him, and he was smiling.
“I am going to find every sensitive spot on your body. I am going to do things
to you that no man has ever done.”
At that, I tensed up and closed my legs slightly. No one had ever
done what he already had.
Does he think that I’ve had all the experience
that he has? Should I not be doing this with him? Am I just like everyone else?
Does he say these things to everyone?
My mind was racing. I sat up and
slightly pulled away from him, totally breaking the moment.
“Aubrey? What’s wrong?” He was looking at me with those dark blue
eyes.
What’s wrong? I was a freak and couldn’t handle when a man spoke
to me this way because no one ever had, and I didn’t trust men.
What do I do
now?
I wanted him, but I wanted him to know there had only been one other
man and in no way did he do what Alex was doing.
I closed my eyes and hung my head a little. “Alex, you’re right. You
were touching me as no one ever has before, because no one has touched me like
this.” Is this not the time for this conversation? I totally suck at this. “I’m
not a virgin, but I’ve only been with one other man, and he was in it for the
sex and that’s it. We were together once, my one and only time. I’m not as
experienced as you are.” I felt like an ass for making him sound as if he’d
been with hundreds of women. Had he? I didn’t think I wanted to know. My chest
was starting to hurt, and my breathing was altered, not a great time for an
anxiety attack. I had to tamp that down.
He moved his body up the bed so our heads were side my side, his
propped up in his hand and mine on my pillow. “Look at me, Aubrey.” I turned my
head; I could feel my eyes misting over. “I’m glad I’m the only man who has
touched you like this.” He took his finger and ran it down my side and back up
again. “I want to be the man who makes you feel this.” He kissed the sensitive
spot on my neck, making me smile. “I want my hand to be the only one feeling
you like this.” He moved his hand to my breast and then in between my legs. “I
want to be the only man kissing you like this.” His lips kissed my forehead,
eyelids, the corner of my mouth, and then my lips. “Can I be that man, Aubrey?”
Could he? I really wanted him to be. “Yes.” That’s all I could say.
He smiled, stood, and took his shirt off. Still on the bed, I sat
up on my knees. I ran my eyes and hands down the sides of his chest, down the
amazing “V” leading into his shorts. I unfastened them and pulled them off him.
Standing in front of me was the most gorgeous man I’d ever laid eyes on. I took
in his size through his black boxer shorts and could that see his erection
wanted to burst out of the waistband. I looked up at him through my eyelashes, licked
my lips, and brought my upper one between my teeth.
I moved my hand to the outside of his shorts and ran it up and
down his length. I peeked up and he was smiling. I decided to take this a step
further. I was nervous, but I did it anyway. I took off his boxers. He was
amazing, delicious. I needed to taste him.
I licked my lips and took him in my mouth. I heard him groan,
which made me want him more. His hand tangled in my hair, moving my head back
and forth, guiding me. He was starting to thrust in and out of my mouth, which
was working along with my hand gently caressing his balls. My speed accelerated
as did his thrusting. We both moaned.
“Aubrey.”
“Hmmm.” I was totally lost to him.
“Aubrey . . . honey.”
“Hmmm.”
He yanked me up and tossed me on the bed. With my legs between
his, he reached over to his shorts and grabbed a condom out of the pocket.
I looked up at him. “So I was a foregone conclusion?” I giggled.
He tore the package open, and rolling it down his considerable
length, said, “No, you are anything but a foregone conclusion. I was just
hopeful.”
He leaned down and kissed me with such passion that I thought I
could orgasm right there on the spot. All my senses were on alert. He ripped
off my thong and tossed it aside. I opened my eyes and noticed his were looking
between my legs. He pushed my legs apart with his and rubbed me, first with one
finger then two. His palm was doing things to me that I didn’t know could be
done.
“Alex . . . Oh my God . . . Alex . . .”
“You are so ready for me, Aubrey. I need to be inside you. I want
to feel you wrapped around me.” He started moving up my body so that our chests
were touching.
“Yes, I need you to be inside me, please.” I didn’t want to wait
anymore; I needed to belong to him. I spread my legs and wrapped them around
his waist. He slowly entered me. I could feel every inch of him; I felt so
full.