Unexpected Changes (12 page)

Tabitha

WHAT THE
HELL
was I thinking? It didn’t even cross my mind once to stop us. Never, in all my life, have I had unprotected sex. It’s not that I’m used to sleeping around with people, but when I did, we always used protection. I’ve been receiving the shot for the last ten years and never skipped a month.

Well, that is until recently, when I decided to order some spunk online. Mentally, I’m screaming at myself, especially since I don’t want to alert Carter to my mini freak-out. Instead, I practice my Tai-Chi and close my eyes in order to find that inner peace like I’ve been taught.

I’m not locating that peace I seek, so instead I rip the clothes from the hangers before me. My closet takes a beating when it comes to my emotions. I’m surprised I have hooks left, especially when I have to pick it all back up and organize it.

Happy with what I’ve found to wear, I shimmy my jeans on and pull on a pink top. I pair it off with my silver flats and jewelry as I head back in to do my hair and make-up.

Keeping my look simple, I apply a little brush of blush, mascara, and lip gloss.

Tossing my hair around with some gel, I towel dry it and head out in search of Carter.

When I step into the living room, I notice he’s looking at a few pictures I have placed around the room. They’re of Cory, Seth, Angela, and me.

“What you looking at?”

“These,” he says pointing towards the frames.

I walk over and place my arms around his waist, and point up towards one of them and explain, “That’s the day Angela and I graduated. The other is one of my favorites. The boys and I had gone to the beach for a mini vacation before I left for school.”

“Did you ever love him, like he does you?”

“Who? Cory?” I ask as my voice goes into this hyper pitch.

“Yes, Cory. What’s the deal with you two? I know I shouldn’t be jealous, but I am. I just need to know the past between you two, so we can all move forward.”

“No reason to be that way. We never dated or anything like that. We did have a close encounter this year, but other than that, I love him as a brother. He used to care for me in a different manner, but you already know that.”

“How close of an encounter?”

“That’s what you heard, huh?”

“Yes and just satisfy me.”

“I was kind of naked and to be honest, I was trying to get you out of my head. I thought if I could do this, then I could accept Cory into my life as more than a friend. I was going to give it a shot, but in the end, I couldn’t risk what I have with him. Plus, when I closed my eyes, you were the only thing that I saw.”

“That makes me happy,” he says as he turns around in my arms to look at me. “How much is pretty naked, do you care to explain that one to me?”

“Nope … I’m hungry and then you have to leave soon.”

“You ready?” Carter asks.

“I’m ready for anything you bring, lover boy.”

Letting out a laugh, he shakes his head and asks, “What’s with you and nicknames?”

“Oh, I have plenty, just ask my friends.” I grab my purse and head towards to the door.

“That sort of scares me. I’m not sure I need to know them all. I’ll just mentally keep track as you let them out.”

“Good call.”

As we exit my apartment, we walk towards my car hand in hand. Suddenly, I burst out in laughter earning me a strange look from Carter.

“What’s so funny?”

“You … This … How we got to this point and how I don’t want to kill you at this moment.”

“We got to this point because we’re meant for each other and I’m happy you currently don’t want to kill me. That may change though, I’m not perfect,” he says as he opens the driver’s side door for me.

Just as he goes to close it, I speak up and say, “No one is ever perfect, but as long as we’re true to ourselves, that’s the only thing that matters.”

With a quick nod, Carter closes my door and walks around to the other side of the car. I’m amazed that he’s allowing me to drive, though I do not dare to ask why.

I just accept it as I’m learning to be one with him, and not make it all about me. It’s something new and I’m embracing our status as a couple. We are no longer at war with our hearts, but instead, on a path to mending the pain.

Recently, I have discovered that it’s better to let go than to hold on to the past. I’d rather live in the moment than dwell on what I can’t change.

My wall is breaking apart one brick at a time, and soon, it will ultimately crumble to the ground. When that happens, Carter Northwood will own me through and through. I only pray that I will own him the same way.

Carter

I could sense her entering the room before I felt her behind me. Giving her some space after the realization of our actions, I decided to come out here and look around. Even though I’ve been here a few times, I never actually stopped to take it all in.

The pictures of her, family, and friends are scattered all around. I notice the one with only her and Cory, which causes my heart to ache. The way he’s looking down at her, it’s with such devotion and love. I’m asking myself how it is that I’m the lucky one. How did she slip away from him and find herself with me?

Whatever the reason behind it, I’m not going to question any longer. All I know is that I love her and a part of me says she feels the same about me.

Our walls are crumbling as our hearts are intertwining into one.

She’s answered my questions about her relationship with Cory, and I have no doubt she’s telling me the truth. I’m not happy to learn that he’s seen her naked and will have to deal with that over time. I’m the only one to blame for that happening. If I would’ve been available at the time, maybe our relationship would’ve moved along quicker. Now she’s mine, and her body is only for my eyes.

Walking to the car and watching her laugh, it’s what I love to hear from her. I’ve come to realize quickly that sometimes it’s best to not ask what the laughter is from, but I can’t help myself. I want to know what she is thinking and feeling at all times.

When darkness overtakes her, I want to be the one to make it brighter; when it’s bright, I want to be the one to rejoice in it with her. Everything she experiences, I want to be the one right along with her for the ride.

Since it’s her town and she knows her way around better than me, I decide to let her drive. You can see that she’s questioning this choice, but not asking why.

As I shut the door, I turn to look at her and ask, “Where to? What are you in the mood for?”

“How about we go to the French place I love, or we can have sushi? You pick,” she says as she backs us out of the parking spot and heads towards the highway.

“Sushi, but will we have company this time?”

“No, it’s lunch time so we should be good to go. Plus, they aren’t going to give you a hard time now,” Tabitha explains as if I should understand the underlying hints of that response.

I don’t understand completely, so I ask, “Why wouldn’t they? I would think they would still protect you.”

She laughs. “Oh, they will protect me. Just … they know we’re working through our issues and understand that I need space.”

“Glad you’re not asking for space from me. That’s one thing I will not allow anytime soon.”

“It’s not allowed because we live our lives miles apart, and even if we weren’t miles apart, I’m in a new city every other week or more.”

“Do you ever see yourself not traveling as much?” I ask as I wonder what it would be like if she didn’t change that aspect.

“One day it will slow down, but Angela has Graham now. Even though she says she’s ready to travel more, Logan isn’t. He says he’ll hire someone to take her spot and help more. With that said, I can promise you, it will not happen. Angela has to have her independence, or she’ll go insane.”

“I can see that about her.” I think about what my plans are with my company. “Have you ever thought about moving, you know, to another state?”

“Not really, Carter, and that’s what scares me about us. You live in Seattle and my family is here. I’m fixing to be an aunt, and I’m already Graham’s Godmother. It already sucks donkey butt that he’s in New York,” Tabitha responds with a shrug of her shoulders.

I reach over and take her hand into mine and place a kiss on top. “We will figure it all out in time. I promise.”

The rest of the ride is quiet as I watch her drive like a mad person. Road rage in this vehicle has come to a new beginning and I know not to push our relationship status any more today. The tension inside this vehicle has built up to the point that I crack open the window, allowing some fresh air to circulate around the cabin.

Before we arrive at our destination, I take out my phone and send a quick text to Kelly. I need her to set up a few meetings for when I return. Right now is the best time for me to do this. The divorce is final and I have no office or ties to the town I’ve lived in most of my life.

Tabitha

INTERNALLY I’M
STILL
freaking the hell out, but I’m trying to hold it together so Carter doesn’t notice. On top of everything, he’s talking about me moving or figuring out our plan for dating. I’ve never thought about my life being anywhere but here, so it’s not a choice I’m ready to make. Travel is something I’m enjoying for now, but like any woman, I have dreams. Those are the ones that I hope will come true.

Back in college, I hoped for the perfect wedding, white picket fence, and kids. Soon, that became nothing but a dream. But now I have this slight hope for it again. Could Carter and I actually make the changes necessary for both of our dreams to come true? He’s building the house of his dreams, while I’m perusing my career.

Choices.

Changes.

Expectations.

Each word means I have to decide; it’s the easy part of all this. I can fret about it all, until it comes down to the day I actually have to make the decision.

For now, I’m choosing to keep it all inside as we take one day at a time. That’s all any one of us can do.

As we’re waiting for our sushi to arrive, Carter must notice how distanced I’ve become.

“Where’d you go?”

Taking the napkin from the table, I place it on my lap and look up at Carter. “I’m here.”

“You might be here, but you have this look on your face like you’re either lost in deep thought or looking for the fastest exit out of here.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m not trying to escape; I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“How about you let me know what’s going on in that beautiful head of yours? Then we can figure out a plan.”

“What kind of plan, Carter? Can you fix the miles between us? Can we both have our dreams at the same time? Huh? Could you handle me traveling all the time? Do you have the answers to all of that, because if you do, please fill me in.”

“Easy, Tabby Cat. Let’s take one at a time,” he says as he holds up his index finger. “First, the miles are just that, we’ll deal with them. Second, yes we can both have dreams at the same time. If you’re in my life, then I’m happy. Third, we can always travel together. Does that answer everything for you?” he asks as he sits back into his seat with a smirk spread across his face.

“You make it sound so easy, but you’ll see it’s not. When Angela was married to the douchebag, they both traveled and ultimately it ruined their marriage. Even though I never liked the asshat, I think it could’ve worked.”

“Wow, you do have names, don’t you?” he says as he grabs my hand across the table. “Tabitha, listen to me. I don’t have the answers, but if we’re both willing to try, then it’ll work. I love you with all my heart and that’s all you should worry about right now. Now, all I have to worry about is if you love me back.”

Shocked that he just said he loves me, I have to gather my senses for a brief moment before I respond.

“I do, Carter. I think I’ve loved you from the first meeting. Something about the way you looked at me, it melted me to my core.”

“See? It’s settled then. Now we enjoy our lunch before I have to head home. Stop stressing and trust me, okay?”

“Fine, but you already know I have trust issues.”

“I do, but we’re going to change that for both of us,” he says with a wink as our plates of sushi are placed in front of us.

Nothing else was mentioned after that conversation; we kept to the simple things. Carter explained how he found Kelly and that she’s his right-hand gal. If it wasn’t for her looking out for him all these years, he doesn’t know what he would’ve done.

I find it comical since she and Jessica have been up to no good these last few months, not to mention recently. My mother always said sometimes it’s easier for others to see in from the outside. When you are the one wrapped up in the situation, you miss it. You can’t look past the hurt and follow yourself. Sometimes, you need that one person on the edge of your circle to push you into the middle.

That’s exactly what Kelly and Jessica have done. They’ve managed to shove us onto the merry-go-round, while we grip the bars tightly and hope the two of us exit together.

Lunch seems to pass by in a blur, and before we know it, it’s time to take Carter to the airport. This is the part I hate, the goodbye. A part of me is coming to expect the unannounced visit, and I enjoy it. But this is something I will be glad to not have. Goodbyes have never been my thing. Hell, just ask Cory and Seth. When I left for school, I refused to say it. It was a quick hug and wave before I turned around and jumped into my Jeep.

“You about ready to drive me?”

“Not really. Can’t we find a dark cave and settle down in it forever? I mean the kind of cave that you can’t find. No cell service, computers, work or anything. Just you and me with a fire.”

“I’m pretty sure we could find a place like that, but I’ve seen you freak out when you can’t find your phone, so I’d rather not try that no service thing.”

“Smartass. Let’s go,” I say as I stand and watch him smirk away at my response. I can’t help it that they hid my phone and I couldn’t find it anywhere. I’m addicted to the games on it, not to mention all the pictures I get from Angela. If Graham does something cute, she snaps and shoots it to me.

That little guy has us all wrapped around his fingers. The best picture I’ve been sent thus far was one of Logan and Graham. Logan was passed out in his chair with Graham propped on his shoulder. Graham must have been dreaming of angels as he displayed the slightest smile on his face and had his dad’s shirt bundled into his little fist.

Talk about a change; those two are night and day, so much different than when they started out. I always knew Logan would be fantastic for my best friend, but the kind of father he’s become is just breathtaking. He is so hands-on with him that sometimes I wonder if all men will be like him.

Shit, that reminds me to call my doctor. I need to schedule an appointment to have another shot. Not taking any more chances with that.

Carter

Tabitha is so worried about making things work that she’s not taking the time to enjoy the moments we have together. After I deal with a few things back at home, I have one other important call to make. It’s time I find that cave for the two of us, but with internet service.

We pull up to the curb for drop-offs as I explained there was no reason for her to park and come in. I’m going to just go find my gate and relax for a bit before I board.

Shutting the trunk, I grab her by her waist and pull her to me. “Tabby Cat, I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you. Thank you for surprising me and for the date today.”

“That wasn’t a date, but you’re welcome. Next time will be a real one.”

“Any time we spend outside the bedroom is a date to me,” she says with a pointed look on her face.

“You are so beautiful; I can’t help but want you all the time.”

“Sex maniac, that’s what I’m going to call you.”

Pulling her to me, I take her mouth with mine. I have this need to claim her right here in front of everyone. She pulls back and looks up at me. “Carter Northwood, what are you doing to me?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea, because I ask myself what you are doing to me every day.” I kiss the top of her hair and whisper in her ear, “I love you. I’ll call you when I land.”

“Love you too, and you better. Have a safe flight, okay?”

“Will do. Now, hurry along, and behave yourself.”

She turns around to look at me sternly before she lets a smile spread across her face. That’s the smile I’ve missed. The one that goes from ear to ear and shows off her eyes.

I stand on the sidewalk and watch as she pulls into traffic. Once she’s out of my sight, I head inside to board.

As I look around, I take everything in as I search for the check-in line. Entering into the gate area, I find an empty seat and head towards it. The plane seems to be packed today, and that always makes for an exciting flight.

Just as I sit and pull my carry-on in front of me, the lady beside me lifts the rim of her hat and turns towards me. “What are the odds you pick the seat next to me, Carter?”

“Bethany, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you, love. Don’t I get a hello, how have you been?”

“Fuck you, Bethany. You know I’m not happy to see you. Explain to me why you are on the same flight as I am.”

“Headed home to sign your divorce papers. Why else would I be traveling back?”

“What are you up to? Please don’t mess up anything else. Haven’t I given you enough of my life? Let me go.”

“I don’t plan to, dear, and I have let you go. I just need a favor from you, that’s all.”

“A favor? From me? Did hell actually freeze over or something? Since when did you ever need me for anything other than to be the one to take the fall for your family’s lies, not to mention my father’s?”

She leans in a little closer to me. “Carter, listen. I’m not sure what your father told you, but I need for you to know that I’m sorry. I honestly believed the baby was yours. You are the only one that I never used protection with, and that one time is all it took. Also, I never meant to have it drag out this long. I figured by the time you were done with school, we would be over. The problem was with my father. He felt it was best to keep you and me as puppets. That way no one would ever know about my past with your father or anyone else. It was a cover up and it runs deeper than just you and me.” Stopping for a moment, she looks around to make sure no one is listening or paying attention to our conversation.

Once she’s satisfied with the outcome, Bethany leans in a little closer. “Carter, they have frozen all my accounts until I come home. That’s why I’m flying business class and not on the family jet. Father has ulterior motives, and I’m not sure if they are against me or you. Listen to me as I am only saying this once: you need to tie up everything back home, sign the papers and get the hell away from them. The board of your company is also being run by my father. He pays them to keep an eye on you. Fire them all. The only one who is truly with you is Kelly. That’s it. I don’t know what they are playing at, but watch yourself. Sign and leave. Do you understand me?”

Confused by her bluntness, I turn to look at her and she has already pulled the flap of her hat back down and acts like she’s reading the book in front of her. It’s when I look at the open page she’s holding that I notice the picture. It’s an image of her father, sitting down at dinner with every one of my board members.

Taken aback by this, I try to think back to why I never realized it. Was I too blind to see the signs?

“Bethany, thank you for letting me know, but what do you need from me? I don’t understand what I could help you with.”

“Easy, Carter. I need money. I’ve got to be able to escape. Once I go to sign the papers, I need to get on a plane. I never want to return to the States. I’ve found someone that I care deeply about for the first time in years. Send me back to Monaco, and I promise you’ll never hear from me again.”

“That’s all you want from me? How much?”

“Yes, that’s all I want from you. I know I have no right to ask this, but I’m trying to help you out as well.”

“Do you still have access to your bank? If not, go open a new account and text me the information. Once I have that and I know you have signed the papers, I’ll make a transfer, but let me reassure you of one thing, Bethany. I never, and I mean never, want to see your face again. Don’t even breathe my name. Are we clear? Oh, and if you step so much as one foot near Tabitha, I will hunt you down,” I explain in a deep stern voice.

I can hear her gulp before she nods her head in understanding. Since I no longer care to sit by my soon to be ex-wife, I gather up my things and head towards the windows.

I’ve signed the papers already and was under the impression that they were being sent to her to sign. This is new information and I’m shocked by everything she just told me.

Time to make things happen, and quickly.