Unexpected Changes (9 page)

“Penny for your thoughts,” I whisper near her ear as I wrap my arms around her waist and we stare out back together.

We stand in silence for a bit longer, and I enjoy having her like this. It’s like we’ve found peace together here and nothing can invade our bubble. Knowing I have to drop her off soon causes my heart to restrict inside my chest.

On the drive back into town, she’s as quiet as I’ve ever seen her. She’s fumbling with her fingers in her lap and fixated on the outside environment. I allow her this chance to think, to process everything that’s transpired over the last twenty-four hours.

By doing this, it gives me time to wonder what life would be like with her in that house every day. Would we stare out into the yard each morning as we fix our coffee? Possibly a child running around in the yard as we watch from afar?

The possibilities are endless, but only if she lets me back in.

Tabitha

AS SOON
AS I ARRIVED
home two weeks ago, I sent out a mass email alerting everyone of the eighties’ night. Actually, mandatory attendances, the only ones exempt from the event are Angela and Logan. Graham’s been under the weather and we all agreed it was better for them to stay in New York.

I gave myself two weeks to plan and get ready, thankful that Jessica was able to help while I went on a quick business trip.

Carter and I have talked and texted back and forth each day since I left. I’m still amazed that he’s able to take things slow.

Pulling into my spot near the office, I hear a chirp alerting me that I’ve received a text.

Cory: Is the birthday girl ready for her party tonight that she’ll not allow us to throw?

Me: It’s not a birthday, remember. Just us friends getting together. NO GIFTS!

Cory: Need me to come early to help?

Me: Yes please

Cory: See you tonight.

I didn’t think when I picked the date or I would’ve chosen another one. I was prepared to smack them all around for not listening to the rules, especially after I realized it was my birthday.

Humming as I waltz into the office, I look over at a very pregnant Jessica and say, “Morning.”

She lets out a laugh. “Someone is in a very good mood for it to be the day we’re not allowed to talk about,” she says as she moves her fingers in air quotes.

“Hilarious, and yes, I’m in a fantastic mood.”

“Are you back on your glitter pills?”

“Full of jokes today, aren’t you?”

“I have more if you’d like to hear them?”

“No, I think I’m good without them. Look, I’m only here for a little while. I have an appointment here soon and then I need to get ready for the party. Make sure you and my brother are on your best behavior tonight,” I say giving my very best ‘I mean it’ look to her.

“We will not ruin your party, I promise. For the record, we have been doing okay, well that is for this week.”

“Noted. Any messages or anything for me?”

“Nope … I’ve handled everything.”

“What’s that look for?”

“Oh, nothing at all. Go do what you have to do and scoot.”

I wave her off and head to my office. The only reason I came in was to make sure I have all the paperwork I need for my doctor. Research and more research has led me to today. Not sure what I plan to do, but you never know. Seven days is how long I have to make a choice.

Everything is packed away in my messenger bag and I dash past Jessica as I yell, “See you tonight!” unsure if I need to skip home or what after seeing my doctor. If I decide to follow through with this, then it’s ultimately my choice. The plan is to have my party tonight and then tomorrow is a think day. Nothing else, just yoga pants and thinking.

Music, decorations, and of course a fabulous outfit on, I look around, satisfied with everything. Cory should be here soon to help with the food, and I have the perfect song to kick off the events.

Bouncing over to the iPod station, I select the eighties play list I created. I search for it and tap play, and as the lyrics and beat come through the speakers, I smile.

“Knock, knock,” I hear as the door opens, the music earning me a death glare.

“Really, ‘Baby Got Back?’”

“Yes, and it’s my party so you have to deal with it.”

“It’s better than ‘Ice Ice Baby.’ You wore out that song
and
this one, just so you know.”

“I do and you love it. What’s in the bag?”

“Nothing you need to know about. I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Help yourself; I need to go find my shoes.”

Bopping down the hallway, I know this is exactly what we all need. Seth, Jessica, Cory, Ben, Mitch, and Jason. Meredith couldn’t make it since she already had prior plans she couldn’t get out of. When I think about it, I’m glad I get them to myself for once. However, I do miss Angela. We so could have done our dance routines as the night went along.

Buried in my closet trying to locate my flats to complement my outfit, I hear Cory come into the room.

On my knees, I look behind me and my heart stops. “What are you doing with that?”

“No, the question is, what the fuck is this?”

“Sperm,” I respond like it’s okay to have a thermos filled with liquid nitrogen and sperm on your kitchen counter.

“You care to repeat and explain that one, young lady?”

“Nope, sure don’t,” I say as I turn back around and locate my shoes. Standing, I slide them onto my feet and look up at Cory. “Now my outfit is complete.”

“Didn’t know about this, Firecracker,” he says as he shakes up the thermos.

“Will you stop shaking my baby? You’re going to hurt it.”

Cory looks at his watch and back to me. “You have a few minutes before the rest of them get here. I suggest you tell me about this, or you’ll explain to your brother.”

“Short explanation. You’re holding my baby. I ordered it from a catalog and Saturday I’ll check my ovulation. I can have a midwife come and do it, or I can do it myself. Now you know.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“Nope, serious. I still haven’t decided to use it or not. I wanted to keep my options open.”

“Tabitha, your options are you freeze your eggs, you don’t pick out some strange man’s spunk online.”

“He’s not a stranger; I refer to him as number 03172000.”

“That’s it, I’m calling your brother and we’re going to talk some damn sense into you. This is absurd,” Cory screams as he heads out into the hallway.

Following fast behind him to make sure he doesn’t call Seth, I hear someone at the door.

I turn around and point my finger at Cory. “You will not say a word to him tonight. You and me—later.”

As I swing the door open, I’m startled when I notice it’s Carter. “Shit fire!” He wasn’t who I was expecting on the other side.

“Nice to see you too, Tabitha.”

“Sorry, you shocked me. Come on in.”

Carter walks in and notices Cory standing off to the side still holding my sperm baby.

“Did you come as weird science?”

“No I didn’t, but I’m sure if you ask Madonna over there, she’ll tell you what this is.”

Carter has that confused look on his face, and I shoot daggers towards Cory.

Just as I go to speak, the rest of the gang rolls through the open door.

I silently mouth to Cory to put the stuff back where he found it, but he shakes his head no.

I’m pissed I forgot to hide it before anyone got here this evening. This is the reason I planned on not saying a word until after the fact. It’s not even 100% guaranteed to work the first time.

“Cory, now!” I yell through gritted teeth, as I walk by and pull him into the kitchen.

“What, you didn’t tell lover boy about it?”

“Tell lover boy about what?” I hear Carter ask from the doorway.

“Nothing,” I say, snatching the sperm away from Cory and shoving it into the cupboard.

“Really … that’s where you’re going to put it? That should make for an interesting story for your child.”

“Child?” Carter says looking at us. “Care to explain something, Tabitha?”

“No, but why are you here?” I say, and realize after I said it how awful it sounded.

“I came to spend your birthday with you, and I missed my girl. I see you have other things going on,” Carter says, his voice laced with pure anger, and turns to head back towards the living room.

“You suck, Cory James,” I say and walk away to find Carter before he leaves. I don’t spot him, but Seth points to the door and I know I have to chase after him.

Running out, I scream to an empty area, but as I round the corner, I notice he’s leaned against the side of a car with his hands running through his hair.

I step closer and whisper, “Carter, it’s not what you think, and if you come back upstairs, I’ll explain.”

When I take a good look at his face, I wonder to myself if this is how I looked that night in the ladies’ room.

Broken.

Destroyed.

Carter

Walking up to Tabitha’s door, I’m nervous that I should have called her before crashing the party. Kelly reassured me that it would be a welcome surprise.

As I knock on her front door, I can hear her going off about something, but I’m not sure what. The door flies open and I look up to smile at my beautiful girl, but by her expression, it’s not a welcome surprise at all.

As I step in, I look around and notice her friend Cory is the only other one here. Now I’m curious what the fuss was about before I knocked. I can feel the tension fill the room as I look between the two of them. I’ve had my suspicions about whether he could really let her go, and I think it’s now that I have the answer.

They exchange a few glares and words between each other as I watch her pull him into the kitchen after everyone else arrives.

Following to make sure I’m still welcome, I hear something about a child.

This is definitely not the way I had seen tonight going. I wasn’t expecting to have my world turned upside down. Tabitha hasn’t led me to believe something was going on with the two of them, so this is confusing. Turning to walk out, all I can do is give her brother a half-ass wave goodbye.

It was a mistake to show up here and think I could just pop back into her life as if nothing happened. I haven’t heard from or seen Bethany since the night she left, and I just signed the final documents on our divorce yesterday.

In my mind, it was going to be the best birthday gift for Tabitha. I’m finally free to love her the way she deserves to be loved.

Only now, I’m too late.

Slamming my back up against the rental car, I throw my head back and look up to the sky.
Why? Why can’t I have the life I want?

I hear her heels clicking against the concrete as she approaches me. I’m not sure if I have it in me to look into her eyes. My heart can’t handle hearing what she’s about to say.

Standing in front of me, she whispers, “Carter, it’s not what you think, and if you come back upstairs, I’ll explain.”

Here is where part of me tells me to run for the hills and don’t stop, while the other half says follow her.

Bringing my head down to look into her eyes, I see her begging for me to listen.

“If you’re going to tell me something is going on between the two of you, just let me leave now, Tabitha. I’m not sure I can handle it.”

“I promise it has nothing to do with Cory and me and everything to do with the choice I’m making.”

With an exhale I respond, “I’ll come back up, but you have to prepare me first.”

“I’m not sure how to do that … I wasn’t ready to tell anyone, yet,” she says as she stares at the ground, fiddling with her fingers. I’ve come to know that this is a nervous side effect of hers. Any time she’s not sure of something, she twiddles her fingers and stares off.

“I’m not fighting anymore, Carter. I want to be your other half, but I don’t know how to do that. If you want to go, then go; you want to stay, then stay. I don’t control you, but I’ll tell you I’m trying to let you in. If you really want this to work between us, then you know what to do. Choose me. I chose you and that scared the shit out of me.”

I don’t have time to respond as I hear the clearing of a throat coming from the front of the car, and I look over to see Cory and Seth standing guard.

“Tabitha, go back inside and let us all have a moment, okay?” Cory tells her with a serious look upon his face.

“Hell no … I’m not leaving you boys out here to throw around your balls.”

As I watch her stomp her foot as she says it, I can’t help but laugh.

“We just need a moment, Firecracker,” her brother says.

“It’s okay. Go on up. I’ll be fine,” I say trying to reassure her.

“Whatever … if anyone else tries to ruin my night, I will kick your butts,” she says as she storms off.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I watch as they both step in front of me. I knew this was coming and at least it’s one thing I was prepared for this evening.

“I thought I made myself clear the last time we spoke; you hurt her, you get us,” Seth says.

“You did, and I have to say, I tried to protect her the best I could. I promise you, I never meant for it to go as far as it did.”