Unhidden (The Gatekeeper Chronicles Book 1) (28 page)

He slid up the bed closer to where I was sitting up against his pillows. His hand brushed my hip, burning my skin with the heat of his touch. “Close your eyes.” He reached up with both hands and gently brushed my hair behind my ears, placing his fingers lightly on my temples. They were warm and rough, and my mind started to drift, thinking about where else I would like those calloused fingers to explore.

Then the pain hit me. I gasped at the suddenness of it. It felt like knives were being pressed through my eyeballs and into my brain before being twisted for good measure. The vertigo hit me next, spinning and tilting the world around me violently. Sparks of color and flashes of unfamiliar images bombarded my mind so quickly I couldn’t make out any of details, no matter how hard I tried to focus on what I was seeing. My stomach lurched and cramped.

“Stop!” I gasped. I tried to lift my arms to bat his unmoving fingers from my temples, but I couldn’t figure out where my hands were in relation to my head and only found myself flailing fruitlessly. “Please,” I begged, tears springing to my eyes. If I could have chopped my own head off in that moment to end the pain and confusion, I would have done it in an instant.

Then Zane’s fingers were gone, and the pain subsided enough that the nausea could take its place.

“Bathroom,” I demanded, lurching off the bed.

Zane grabbed me around the waist and hauled me to the bathroom. I promptly fell to the floor, making it to the toilet just in time to lose what little was in my stomach. I sat back sweating, my skin an inferno.

“I’m sorry, Emma. Hang in there. It will pass soon.” He continued cooing reassuring words at me, which my muddled brain couldn’t entirely comprehend, while turning on the shower. He helped me step under the water, still dressed in his shorts and T-shirt, and followed me in to keep me upright.

The cool spray felt like heaven against my flushed skin, and the throbbing in my head subsided, as did the disorientation. I rested my head against Zane’s chest, taking slow, steady breaths until I felt more like myself again.

Had it worked? Had he been able to release some of my memories?

When I focused inward in an attempt to call up anything new, images, memories, and emotions flooded my mind. I gasped and clutched tightly onto Zane’s biceps, trying to stay on my feet. He wrapped his arms around me and held me closer while sobs escaped my throat and tears mingled with the water pouring down my cheeks.

“Oh, God. I remember you.” I looked up at Zane. He was the same man I had spent the last few hours with, but right then he looked different to me. His hair was longer than I remembered it, and it seemed to me his sharp features were softer and more open. Those warm, deep eyes reflected concern and commitment. I couldn’t stop myself from reaching up and touching his strong jaw and full lips.

As I caressed his cheek, he leaned into my palm, closing his eyes briefly. When they opened again, they were full of sadness and desire, an irresistible combination.

I stood up onto my toes, bringing my face close to his and tentatively pressing my lips to his mouth. I then drew back a few inches to measure his reaction. He looked stunned and entirely unable to move, although his heavy breathing and the tightening of his arms around my waist told me all I needed.

I closed the gap, and this time, I kissed him with more confidence. He overcame his initial hesitation and parted his lips, and when I slipped my tongue into his mouth, he lost all ability to restrain himself.

Zane spun me around, pushed me against the slippery tile, and deepened the kiss. His body pressed against mine, and I could feel his desire through the thin material of his boxer shorts. I did what I had been craving for some time and knotted my hands in his wet hair, pulling him even closer. It wasn’t enough, though. I needed to
feel
him.

Lifting one leg onto his hip, I ground into him. Zane’s hand moved down to my ass and held me tightly, pressing into me harder. I gasped at the sensation, heat and wetness flooding between my legs. My reaction was an invitation that he eagerly accepted, and he continued his steady rubbing of my clit through our wet clothes.

Any thought that I might be putting myself in danger flew from my mind. I could think of nothing except the weight of his strong body against mine, the feel of soft skin over hard muscle, and the tickle of his long hair on my breasts as his mouth moved over my neck.

Wet clothes stuck like glue to our bodies, blocking me from getting closer to him. I grabbed the neck of his T-shirt in both hands and, with one tug, split it down the middle, peeling it away to reveal a broad chest and abs as hard as stone and as smooth as silk.

He moaned in response. “By the gods, Ash, what are you doing to me?” Hearing the sound of my real name sounded right to my ears for the first time.

“I think you know what I’m doing,” I said as my hand slid down his stomach and over his boxers, grasping his thick cock. Rubbing the length of him over and over, he thrust himself against my palm to the rhythm I had set.

His hands moved to my waist, and he lifted my T-shirt, freeing my heavy breasts. He cupped one in his large, calloused hand, rubbing his thumb over my already stiff nipple. Mind-numbing desire shot like electricity through my body, pooling in my groin, and I grew even wetter than I already had been from the spray of the shower.

Bending down, he drew one breast into his hot mouth and flicked my nipple with his tongue while pinching and rubbing the other with deft fingers.

“Oh, fuck, Zane,” I moaned.

Just when I thought I would orgasm from the erotic sensations at my breasts, Zane lowered himself to his knees. I was panting in agony at the loss of him until he peeled the boxers down my wet thighs, allowing me to step out of them before tossing them away. His rough hands slid over my hips and moved behind me to cup my rear, pressing me into his waiting mouth.

I threw my head back, arching and crying out in pleasure as his tongue slid between my legs. I grabbed handfuls of his hair, encouraging him to go deeper. He obliged, slipping his tongue in and out of me, licking and sucking my clit until I couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Oh, God, Zane. Don’t stop, baby. Don’t stop!” I exploded, screaming in pleasure.

When the wave of ecstasy had passed, leaving me flushed and panting, Zane stood and turned off the shower. Without a word, he lifted me into his arms and carried me out of the bathroom and into his bed.

The first time he entered me that night, it was all animalistic lust and passion, hard and fast, grunting and moaning. It was more like filling a need than satisfying a desire. We had no choice in the matter; our lives up until this point had been driving us inexorably to this moment, and we fell over the edge together.

The second time was to fulfill the need in our hearts. It was slow and deep, and we never broke eye contact, even when Zane’s eyes glittered, and I thought they might well over. He kissed me everywhere—my mouth, my eyelids, my throat—as if he needed to taste and touch every inch of me.

The third time was an incredible combination of our bodies and hearts coming together. It was fun and passionate, sweet and free. We laughed when certain positions seemed a bit ridiculous or when we broke a piece of furniture in our enthusiasm. We got lost in the moments of intense pleasure when our bodies found that perfect fit, and our hands and mouths expressed the depth of our emotions.

In the small hours of the morning, we lay above the sheets in bed, wrapped tightly around each other, to cool off from the last round of love making. Our noses almost touched, one of my legs was tucked between his, and one of his hands rested on my rear end while the other was under his head as a pillow. I had one arm draped across his shoulders, twirling his soft hair around my fingers.

“I remember first meeting you when I was twelve,” I said, still trying to get used to having these new memories. I felt like I needed to verify the truth of them. “You were so handsome and scary. I was terrified of you, with your long hair and black eyes, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that. You had so much strength and confidence. But I can’t remember where it was we met.”

Zane smiled at the memory. “You were such a terror back then, scrappy and demanding. I think you scared me more than I scared you. What else do you remember?”

“I remember sneaking out with you on certain nights so you could teach me magic, but I don’t know who we were sneaking away from. I was looking for any excuse to be alone with you.”

“You were incredibly undisciplined at the time. You thought you could do anything and didn’t need any training. You never thought about the consequences of your actions. I thought you hated every minute of those first lessons.”

“Oh, believe me, I did. But I was willing to suffer through them to get my first kiss. Sure, it took you two and half years to finally come around, but you were worth the wait,” I said, winking. “God, I was absolutely giddy and terrified at the same time, but when you kissed me that night under the twin moons, I knew you were the one for me.”

“Much has changed since then,” Zane said sadly. “I wish things could have ended differently for us, but we have to accept the way things are now.” He rolled away from me, rising from the bed and slipping on a pair of jeans. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let this happen. It wasn’t my intention to sleep with you when I brought you back here.”

“Are you sure about that?” I challenged, but he didn’t offer a rebuke.

“Regardless, I am not the same man you remember. Far from it. The person standing in front of you right now will be gone in a matter of a few short hours, maybe forever, and I’ll be back to hunting you down for Marduk.”

“What happened to you?”

“Don’t you remember?”

I searched through my new memories, looking for the right one. I knew I had found it when fear and sadness crashed over me with the recollection. Marduk had been about to kill Zane because of me. Marduk himself was an indistinct figure, blurry and silent, but in my mind’s eye, I saw my powerful warrior on his knees, begging for my life to be spared. Yet I somehow had known I wasn’t in any danger. Marduk had only wanted Zane to believe he would kill me to ensure Zane didn’t fight back.

As Marduk had prepared to strike Zane down with a killing blow, I had thought I would drown in the rage and desperation that flooded through me. Reaching deep inside myself, I had called upon the well of power that was curled around my soul, always looking for an escape. I had only tapped small amounts of it before, fearing to wake it fully, but this time, I had opened the dam and let it pour forth.

It had been terrifying and exhilarating, like flying. The immense power had coursed through my blood and filled me until I had felt like I would explode with both pleasure and pain. No one could have stood against me. I could have defeated my enemies in one breath and rebuilt the world as it suited me. As these thoughts had come to me, my hands had burned and blistered with the power collecting in my palms. I had needed to release it before I caught fire.

My new memories held gaps after that, though. I remembered smelling electricity along with burning flesh and tasting the iron tang of blood and ashes on my tongue. I had thought I heard my name being screamed from a long distance then had felt a wrenching and twisting sensation. A sense of vertigo had taken hold of me and everything had gone black. My next memory was awakening in a military hospital.

“I destroyed everything … everyone?” I asked, terrified that I already knew the answer.

“Not everything, but most of Urusilim between the Verde Valley and the Sandor Mountains. I threw my shield up in time, which had the unintended consequence of saving Marduk as well as myself since he was behind me holding a knife to my throat. I managed to siphon some of your power, which gave me the strength I needed to open a rift and push you through to Earth. It was the only way I could think of to both stop you and save your life.”

“Why block my memory?”

“I was afraid you would try to come back. I couldn’t let Marduk get his hands on you after exhibiting that kind of power. We had no idea the extent of your abilities until that moment. The only way to keep you away and safe was to take all your memories of Urusilim.”

“And of you.” He nodded in silent acknowledgement. “I’m sure Marduk wasn’t too happy with you for that.”

“I was drained from the effort, and Marduk seized the advantage. I was quite a prize—a powerful mage and member of the Council. And, after losing you, he needed me. He took great pleasure in …” Zane swallowed hard, grimacing at the memory. “I was his prisoner for years. It changed me.” I didn’t need him to tell me he had been tortured, both physically and psychologically—and probably magically—in horrific ways.

I thought I was going to be sick again, knowing I was responsible for what had happened to Zane, not to mention the mass murder of thousands of people. I would have given everything in that moment to lose my memory again. Perhaps Zane had given me a gift when he had erected that wall in my mind. What other atrocities were hiding in my past that remained buried? Did I really want that wall to crumble and reveal more of the real me?