Unison (The Spheral) (59 page)

“That doesn’t sound appealing to me. A world without justice isn’t a world worth living in.” Flora clutched her plazer and aimed the barrel towards her head.” What reason do I have not to follow you to where you’ll soon be going?”

All my remaining strength released in one final burst, and I grabbed hold of Flora’s forearm. “When you stop expecting everyone to follow your standards, you’ll see you’re about to pay a high price for an illusion. You can only live the kind of life you want for yourself. Want a better one, Flora. You deserve it.”

After a few tense moments, she relaxed her plazer. I was surprised when Kai sighed in relief.

“How about you?” Flora asked me.

“I had many better ones,” I said. “Now it’s your turn.” My eyes closed and heartbeat slowed. As I took what I thought would be my last breath, the whole of my essence coalesced and swirled within my abdomen. It then ascended to the top of my head, and the entirety of my body began to vibrate. The fountain of light appeared, beckoning me with its beatific siren song. I resisted, and it grew louder.
Not yet
! I forced open my eyes.

Flora appeared worried. “I’ll get the med kit.”

“I don’t have much longer. Please…let me finish what I have to say.”

Flora nodded.

“I used to believe the Sacred Oath was the only path towards a civilized society. When I encountered individuals who didn’t live by my code, I was in conflict with them before I even said a word. In all my travels, I realized unity comes from shared beliefs. No matter where you end up, if you think differently or set off to do your own thing, you’re challenged by all those who want to keep things as they are. After seven incarnations, I’m tired of conforming. I’d rather stay here alone than compromise who I am just so I can get promotions and be worshipped by people who want to be like me... because they believe I’m happy.” I smiled as I recalled Lidian saying something similar.

“Were you ever happy?”

“Not so much.”

“I’ve been lonely most of my life because I find it hard to trust people,” Flora said. “Master Tyrus was the only one…and then he was gone.”

“To trust, you must believe in the individual whom you’re trusting. Humans are not religion. We’re all flawed—some of us more so than others.”

Kai looked at me as though he thought I was referring to him.

“The only thing worthy of trust is what’s in here.” I placed my hand on my chest. “I don’t know what it is, but it’s always here—this presence. It never betrays me, it’s always honest, and it isn’t afraid to throw me a few punches when I refuse to listen. When I remain quiet long enough to hear, it guides me to where I must be, not in words, not in thoughts, but in mutual agreement.”

Shisa cried and leaned her head on my lap. “How many times must I tell you, Shisa—all of this is more of a comedy than tragedy. The tragedy only arises because most people don’t understand the humor that lurks underneath all the self-imposed drama.”

Flora petted Shisa. “You’re not alone, Shisa.” Flora peered at me with tears in her eyes. “I don’t see any of this as humorous.”

“I don’t get the humor either,” Kai said. “And I don’t see how our misery can be self-imposed. No matter who you are in Unity, you must capitulate to someone, and everything I’ve heard about regarding the Outside is no different. You’re forced to be an actor in this drama, and that’s what makes it a tragedy to me. There’s always an understudy around to take your place.”

“Like Avery?” I asked.

“Everywhere I turn, he’s there, challenging me, searching for ways to make me look weak in front of the Chosen.”

“Was he the one who brought up the charge of me being a nonessential?” Flora asked.

Kai nodded. “The thing about capitulation is that if you do it once, you find that’s all you’re doing. Eventually, your own dreams and desires are obliterated, replaced by an insatiable need to hold on to what you have at any cost. Sometimes I get tired, and I try to remember the way I used to be. I wonder how my life would’ve turned out had I left with Torrin. It still plays like a tragedy.”

“You may yet leave—either now or in another lifetime,” I said. “And you’ll realize, as I did, that the tragedy is capitulation.” I turned to Flora. “Roth probably contacted Unity Forces when he got no response to my call. You must go now, and take Shisa with you. She’ll protect you. When you’re in the tunnel, watch out for bandits. You were killed by one in my last incarnation when you tried to save my life.”

Everything around me started shimmering, and the ethereal music was now too loud to ignore. A white aura surrounded Flora, and I was gratified to see one around Kai as well. Tyrus helped Lidian move forward, and I supposed Flora helped Kai, even after all he’d done to her.

“Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?” Flora asked, crying.

“Hold my hand.”

Flora took my hand and cupped it between her hands.

“Thanks for not listening to me.” I brushed her cheek with my free hand. “Once you get to the other side of the tunnel, you won’t want to stop. Go to the Alexandrian Repository, and learn all you can—but believe nothing. Continue picturing yourself as one of the stars…distant, unnoticed, and beyond capture.” I took in my last breath. “Happy journey…Unity Guard. I have a feeling you’ll have many.”

“I will,” Flora smiled, “because I’d rather be killed again than return to Dome Dungeon.” She gently pressed her lips against mine.

Better late and remembered than early and forgotten
, I said to myself as my seventh incarnation concluded.

BOOK THREE

“To be yourself requires extraordinary intelligence. You are blessed with that intelligence; nobody need give it to you; nobody can take it away from you. He who lets that express itself in its own way is a Natural Man.” U.G. Krishnamurti

THIRD ONE FROM THE LEFT

EIGHTH INCARNATION

I
nside the pitch blackness I walked cold and alone until I witnessed the incubation tank filled with white light. I examined the baby floating peacefully within. It was a female. I knew her—but not by name. She drifted towards me and pressed her tiny hands against the glass. I did the same and felt a warm vibration. My body glowed white as rays of light from each color of the rainbow flowed out of me and into the baby. Her skin illuminated as the color rays swirled around her and rebounded back to me. As this was going on, I vibrated like a tuning fork with the tank. I kept my hands pressed against the glass until my palms cooled. My own voice echoed back to me, “Six begin, Six alone, Six unite.” The light within the tank grew brighter as a strong sense of recognition swept through me.

“Remember,” my voice echoed back as a baby’s cries woke me. I glanced up at one of the holomonitors as a baby was removed from its incubation tank. The action seemed so familiar; I had the strongest urge to investigate. I sat up with great effort and when I got off the bed, I collapsed. An Overmaiden ran to my room and assisted me back to my bed while calling for a doctor. I kept my eyes on all the holomonitors as a young Overmaiden carried the infant away. She entered the emergence room and placed the baby inside one of the bassinets.
Third one from the left
. I stored it into memory as I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke a few hours later and made another attempt to get out of bed. When I took my first step, I fell again. Grasping the mattress, I pulled myself up and staggered out to the hallway. The Overmaiden, whom I had seen with the baby, spotted me.

“Where do you think you’re going, child?”

“For a walk.”

“You can’t be here unattended.” She took my hand and walked me back to my room.

“Can you take me to the emergence room?”

The Overmaiden gave me a peculiar stare.

“Please take me. I need to see one of the babies.”

“Why?”

“I like babies.”

The Overmaiden rubbed her chin and then glanced towards the monitoring station, where there was a technician focused on his holologue.

The Overmaiden looked at me and raised her pointer finger in front of her mouth. “It’ll be just between you and me.” She smiled and led me to the emergence room.

When we entered, I headed towards the third bassinet from the left. My body began to feel the same vibratory sensations I experienced in my vision. They intensified after I read the name tag: Flora:
1309-119-24F
. She was the same baby from my vision!

Flashes of the cabin and New Athenia streamed into my consciousness. My awakening memories frightened me, but Flora’s beautiful heart-shaped face soon eased my fears. Her expression communicated lifetimes of experiences, even as she lay there sleeping. I touched her tiny feet, and she fanned her toes outward. I next took hold of her little hand. She opened her eyes and smiled at me.

“Hi Flora.” I held her hand while COR downloaded eight incarnations worth of data into my nine-year-old brain.

The Overmaiden took hold of my forearm. “Time to go now. The Overseer doesn’t appreciate wandering children.” She walked me back to my room, where I watched Flora on the holomonitor until I drifted off to sleep.

Key moments that shaped me to whom I had become presented themselves all night until I awoke the next morning. I glanced at the emergence room holomonitor, and Flora was missing from her bassinet. I jumped out of bed and ran to the hall nearly plowing over an Overmaiden.

“You can’t leave your room without permission!” She clasped on to my wrist.

I pulled my arm free and raced to the emergence room. When I approached Flora’s bassinet, it was neatly made up as though no baby had slept inside. The kind Overmaiden from the day before walked over to me.

“Where’s Flora?” I asked.

“She had some trouble breathing through the night.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s in a special care unit under observation.”

“Can you take me to her?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Those are the rules.”

I started crying, and the Overmaiden who yelled at me entered the room. She left when she noticed I was being watched after.

“This is why it's better you don't see Flora again.” The Overmaiden took hold of my hand. “Look how bad you’re feeling. It’s not right for a boy your age to suffer. You should be out playing with your friends in the schoolyard.” She smiled.” Do you like to do that?”

I nodded my head.

“Then let’s get you back to your room so you can rest and get better soon.”

“Will you tell me when she’s okay?”

“I will.”

“Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

The Overmaiden smiled and took me back to my room. Until the day I left, I asked about Flora but never received any updates.

After my release from the hospital I couldn’t get my mind off Flora. I called the hospital everyday for an update on her condition, and no one would tell me how she was doing. Master Franklin was informed about my calls. He summoned me to his office to tell me Flora was okay and to stop pestering the hospital staff; they had lives to save. There was nothing more I could do. I gave up my inquiries and attempted to live life as I previously had.

Having my memories return at such a young age and having so little experience behind me in my present incarnation made it hard to trust what I was seeing. I began to test and verify my visions starting with the day of the camping expedition. Everything happened exactly as I remembered. After Master Franklin requested I return to the dorm, I went to the essential shop with the violin in the display window. Upon seeing it, I was stricken by a visual history of my performances in front of the purple sleeves and on the concert stage of New Athenia. It took me less than a day to regain my proficiency on the violin. The first piece I played through was “Beneath the Lonely Stars to Nowhere.” As my bow gently skimmed over the strings, I envisioned myself lying on the ground and staring up at the starry sky. The memory was so vivid I felt the pain from the beating, the warmth of Shisa’s fur as I petted her, and the fountain of light that kept me safe until Wilfrid came for me. By now I knew there was something more to my visions. With seven lifetimes of experience behind me, life in the dome suddenly felt very small.