Authors: Unknown
By the time she reached her room Miranda was glad to throw herself down on the bed. She felt sick and the room spun, and she closed her eyes and wished herself a thousand miles away.
Why had Georgios done this to her? Why had he married her when he already had a wife? She understood now what he had meant by a rift in the family. She had thought he meant his mother, his brothers or sisters. In point of fact he meant Zoe.
Had he been trying to console himself, was that why he had married her? But had he really needed to go to such lengths? And now, the million-dollar question, would he go back to Zoe? Or were their differences such that they would never be reconciled even if Zoe was prepared to give it a chance? Was it herself he loved now?
Except that she no longer loved him! It was suddenly clear that it was Theo she loved. At last she felt free to admit it; there seemed no point in hiding her feelings any longer.
Not that she would ever get anywhere with Theo. He was not the marrying type. Had he been some woman would have trapped him before now. And who would want to marry such a bossy character anyway?
She must leave. She would go back to England and her new house that she and Georgios had furnished with such loving care—no,
she
had furnished—with Georgios’s money. He had not seemed to care what went into it, and he would not mind her keeping it, she felt sure. It was the least he could do.
In one way she could understand Zoe being disappointed in him, more especially if she was a highly independent sort of woman. Georgios’s weakness would be even more striking.
When her door was pushed cautiously open she half expected Theo come to see how she was. Instead it was Georgios, an
embarrassed
expression on his face, white teeth biting his lower lip nervously. ‘Miranda, what can I say? It’s all come back to me. I feel awful.’
She sat up and felt suddenly strong. Now she knew for certain that she not longer loved him it made everything so much easier. ‘You can start by telling me why you did it.’
He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, taking her hands into his. She was surprised to feel him trembling. ‘You know what happened?’
‘Theo told me,’ she nodded. ‘I guess it was a shock to us both, except that when you married me you knew exactly what you were doing. Why, Georgios? Please tell me why?’
For a moment he closed his eyes and dropped his head into his hands. A shudder ran through him. Then slowly he looked at her, pain filling his brown eyes. ‘I needed to prove myself. It’s not easy to tell you this, but—Zoe’s so different from me. She’s strong, where I’m not. She was the dominant partner in our marriage and—she used to scare me. I loved her, don’t get me wrong, and I still do—but I could never manage the—physical side of things. She expected me to ’
‘It’s all right,’ cut in Miranda, hating to see his distress. ‘You needn’t go into detail. I think I’m beginning to understand.’
‘It was different with you,’ he said, ‘you were so undemanding, so gentle and kind. I thought that if ’
‘You could practise on me, it would be all right when you got back with Zoe?’ Miranda smiled wryly, surprised she felt no anger. ‘Except that I insisted on marriage before we made love. Perhaps I’m to blame?’
‘I ought to have gone after her,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘She would have thought more of me if I had. You’ve no idea what it’s like to feel inferior. I suppose it all began when I was a child. Theo was always my father’s favourite. They were of the same mould. Perhaps I should have been a girl. Neither of them lost any opportunity to tell me what a disappointment I was.’
‘So you clung to me because I was different, and I was drawn to you because I’d never had any family of my own. You represented security to me, Georgios. Did you know that? I don’t think I really loved you, not in the way a woman should love her husband.’
His face lightened fractionally. ‘You mean that? You really mean that?’
‘Yes, Georgios,’ she said sincerely. ‘I hope that you and Zoe will make a go of it this time. I honestly do. Have you told her—about me?’
He shook his head. ‘I hadn’t the guts. I suppose I’ll have to.’
Miranda smiled and touched his cheek with a gentle finger. ‘Don’t! It won’t help. I’m going back to England. The only other person who knows is Theo, and he won’t say anything. He was all for getting rid of me in the first place. I wish I’d never come,’ she added ruefully.
‘I don’t,’ said Georgios. ‘I’m glad you’ve seen my home, and met my mother. You must have thought it very strange I never brought you to see them.’
‘Not so strange as when you didn’t know me,’ she said. ‘I couldn’t imagine what was going on. I thought it was some plan you and Theo had concocted, but I couldn’t think why you were letting him do it to you. It must have been terrible not being able to remember anything. Can you recall now what caused the accident?’
He nodded grimly. ‘Indirectly it was Theo. He phoned me to say my mother had had another heart attack, and that it was all my fault. It was a shock to hear his voice. I had no idea he even knew I was in England. In the twelve months I’d been living there I’d had no communication with any of the family.
‘Naturally, though, I left immediately, especially when he said she wasn’t expected to live. He met me at the airport in Corfu and immediately tackled me about you. I said it was none of his business, but Theo said it was when it made Mother ill.’ Georgios’s eyes clouded.
‘It upset her that Zoe and I didn’t get on. Our wedding had been arranged by our respective parents and although I didn’t feel ready for marriage I went through with it. I loved Zoe and she loved me. It was not until we were married that we discovered our incompatibility in bed. I reckon I was as much a disappointment to Zoe in that respect as I’d been to my father in other ways.’
‘But the accident,’ insisted Miranda, ‘you still haven’t told me.’
He looked confused for a moment. ‘I’m sorry, I got carried away. It was after Theo and I had argued about you. I couldn’t bear to listen to him any longer—he sounded just like my father. I simply ran away. I saw this air-freight van bearing down on me and the next thing I knew I was in hospital. I couldn’t even remember who I was.’
‘You’ve told Zoe about all this, of course?’
‘Except you,’ he nodded. ‘I feel awful about it, but ’
‘But it wouldn’t help,’ she finished for him. ‘I know that, Georgios. It’s far better that she never hears about me.’ Or the baby! Even Georgios must never know about the baby.'
Quite unconsciously she put her hand on her stomach, as if by so doing she could hide her secret from him. ‘Where’s Zoe now? You mustn’t let her catch you here.’
‘She’s with my mother,’ he said, and smiled. ‘She’s telling her the good news.’ He caught Miranda’s hand urgently. ‘Miranda, I can’t thank you enough for the way you’re taking this. I’ve messed up your life, haven’t I? I hope you find some nice guy who can make you happier than me.’
‘I wasn’t unhappy,’ she said, tears welling, ‘only when you left. But I realise now that even if there hadn’t been Zoe we’d have split up sooner or later.
Ours wasn’t the right kind of love. We needed each other, that’s all. And if I’ve helped you come to terms with yourself, then some good’s come out of it. I shall never forget you, Georgios.’
‘Nor me you,’ he said, and he looked suspiciously near to crying himself. ‘I must join Zoe now, Mother will be expecting me. Thank you, Miranda. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.’
He gave her a swift kiss and left, and Miranda lay down again, feeling drained and shaken. The future looked empty. She would have a baby, her constant reminder of her unfortunate affair with Georgios, but no husband. No man would look at her twice when he realised she had a child to bring up.
Not long after that Eleni and Nikos came to her room. ‘We’ve been looking all over for you,’ said Eleni excitedly. ‘Georgios’s memory has returned, isn’t it wonderful? And his wife’s come back—oh, you didn’t know about her, did you? It was a taboo subject, until Georgios was better.’
‘So I believe,’ smiled Miranda. ‘Theo told me—and I’ve seen Georgios too. I’m so pleased for him.’
‘And guess what?’ bubbled Eleni. ‘Nikos and I have fixed the date. We’re getting married at Christmas. Everything’s happening. Oh, I’m so happy I could cry!’
Nikos said, ‘Is that supposed to be a compliment?’
She laughed and kissed him, then said to Miranda, ‘All we need now is for you to make it up with your husband. Your ankle’s better, isn’t it? You’ve no excuse now not to go and see him.’
Miranda decided it was time to end this story once and for all. ‘I’m sorry, Eleni,’ she said, ‘but the truth is I’m not actually married. I—I’d been having problems and I came away to sort myself out. Thanks to all of you I now have everything clear in my mind.
I’m going back to England as soon as I can. Tomorrow, I hope.’
‘Man problems?’ suggested Eleni slyly. ‘Someone who looked a little like Georgios, making it all the more difficult to forget this man who made you unhappy? If you want my advice, Miranda, if you love him, grab him; if you don’t, kick him out of your life once and for all.’
‘As she tried to do me,’ laughed Nikos, ‘except that I’m like a rubber ball, I always bounce back. Eleni did not know what was good for her. Make sure you do not make the same mistake.’
Miranda murmured something noncommittal and they left. She did not fancy going down to dinner that evening, but could think of no way to get out of it. It hurt though, seeing Georgios with Zoe. The girl clearly loved him very much, and Georgios, too, seemed a different character. He had a new confidence that had hitherto been missing. It looked, Miranda thought, as though things were going to run smoothly for them after all. Their long break had done them both good.
Eleni and Nikos, too, had eyes only for each other. That left herself and Theo—Mrs Alexidis having declined to come down to dinner.
‘She’s very tired,’ said Theo. ‘All this excitement in one day is too much for her.’
‘But I expect she was pleased about Zoe and Georgios?’ Miranda recalled the occasion at dinner when she learned of Georgios’s loss of memory. His mother had gone quite faint. Now she realised why. It must have been on this poor woman’s mind all the time. Thank goodness she had never confessed to their meeting in England, their marriage. It would have killed her.
‘It is a weight off her mind,’ admitted Theo. ‘And now that Eleni and Nikos have named the day she is happier and more content than I have seen her in a long time.'
They talked politely for the rest of the evening. In fact it seemed to her that Theo was unusually polite. He treated her as one would any visitor to the house; he was kind, attentive, courteous, but nothing more.
Not once did his eyes soften, or his fingers accidentally touch hers. He was very careful to keep everything on an impersonal level. He was glad, she thought, that she was going. There was no longer any need for him to pay her attention.
.
It was clear that on the several occasions when he had kissed her he had done so with the express purpose of emphasising the difference between himself and Georgios. He had hoped to turn her off his brother, to make her see that any relationship she had had with him was finished. Now Zoe had done the job for him.
His wife turning up so suddenly had brought Georgios’s memory back with a jolt. And they both seemed prepared to give themselves another chance. This time, it would work, Miranda felt sure. She harboured no bitterness. She was sad, naturally, that it had turned out like this, but at least he had given her a child.
All her life she had wanted a family of her own. Now she had one. The baby would want for nothing. She would devote all her love and attention to it; everything she herself had missed out on as a child, this one would have.
She refused to think about Theo, about her love for him. There was no point. Eleni had already told him that she was planning to leave.
‘I’ll see to your ticket,’ he said, and there was no way of knowing whether he was relieved or sorry. His face was as expressionless as it had ever been.
The next morning Theo came into her room before she was up. About to order him out, Miranda saw something in his eyes that stopped her. ‘My mother died during the night,’ he said quietly. Only the slight droop to his shoulders and a pulse flickering in his jaw gave away his distress.
‘Oh, Theo, I’m so sorry.’ The words were inadequate, but what else could she say?
‘Don’t be,’ he said brusquely. ‘She died peacefully in her sleep, it is the way she would have wanted to go. It was all too much for her, Georgios’s memory coming back, he and Zoe reunited, Eleni and Nikos agreeing to get married at last. It is what she has prayed and hoped for. I am happy that she is now at rest.’
Miranda felt tears prick the back of her eyes. ‘I loved your mother, Theo. I’m thankful she never knew about Georgios—and me. I wouldn’t have liked that on my conscience.’
‘I’m grateful you never told her,’ he said gravely. ‘There will be much to do now. You will stay for the funeral, of course? She would want that. She was fond of you too. She wanted you to be happy, it dismayed her to think that you were parted from—the father of your child. It was not natural, she said.’
The tears flowed freely now. No one had ever worried over her before. She thought Theo gave her a compassionate look, but through the blur of her tears she could be mistaken. She nodded and swallowed a constricting lump in her throat.
He went then, and Miranda thought about the old lady. Dear Mrs Alexidis! She had lived only to see her children settled. Now she would be reunited with her beloved Alexandras. Theo would continue to run the shipping line, Georgios—the new Georgios—would no doubt continue to help. Eleni and her Nikos would get married and have children. And she would probably never see any of them again.
The following days were clouded by sadness over the old lady’s death. It took the edge off Eleni’s happiness and the two brothers were kept busy making the arrangements.
They were a well-known and well-liked family. Condolences flowed in from all over the world, but following Mrs Alexidis’s instructions only immediate family were attending the funeral. Miranda felt she should not be there, but when she voiced her unease she was immediately shouted down.