Authors: Kate Forster
‘Fine?’ said Andie, laughing.
‘I’ve been so aware of how often I say
fine
when I don’t mean it,’ said Cece, smiling as she closed the door behind them. ‘So, what’s so urgent?’ she asked as she sat down. ‘You look great, by the way.’
Andie looked down at herself and shrugged. ‘I only got dressed up to show Nikki that I’m not a complete hobo, and she wasn’t even there when I left,’ she sighed and threw herself onto the sofa.
‘Hold up. What? Where’s Nikki?’ asked Cece, confused.
So Andie told her the whole story. She didn’t leave anything out – the hair-washing (well, just slightly censored), the dinner, Pete and Jess, and then being fired and what that led to.
‘And so you slept with him?’ asked Cece, crossing her arms.
‘Yep,’ said Andie, noting Cece’s body language and biting the inside of her mouth.
‘And Nikki, why is she there?’ Cece looked like she was trying to follow a foreign movie with bad subtitles. Andie made a mental note to write down the interaction. It would make a nice scene in a story.
‘Right, I forgot to say. She OD’d, or so she says. But I’m pretty sure she’s lying about it. I heard her promising Oscar tickets to the doctor at the hospital so he wouldn’t tell James. Obviously James doesn’t know. I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t know how without sounding crazy and paranoid. He already thinks I hate Nikki.’
‘It seems there are a lot of secrets in his house at the moment,’ said Cece, raising her eyebrows.
‘Why are you judging me?’ Andie asked.
‘I’m not.’
‘You are.’ Andie knew the look Cece was giving her. It was just like her mum used to look when Cameron came over. Her mum had never liked the way Cameron treated Andie. If only Andie had known at the time that she was right.
Cece sighed and uncrossed her arms. ‘Have you told him yet about the golf cart or the Skyhigh Bar?’
‘No. I tried, but he wouldn’t listen.’ Just thinking of trying to tell him and what happened between them afterwards in her room made her blush and want him all over again. ‘I’m going to make him listen the next time I see him, though.’
‘You need to, before it’s too late,’ warned Cece.
‘I will,’ Andie promised. The lies had gone on long enough.
Cece paused. ‘Andie,’ she began carefully, ‘do you think, since Marlo’s death, that you’ve been looking for something, anything, to fill that void? And that maybe you’ve pinned your hopes to James, and aren’t thinking rationally about him?’
Andie whipped her head around angrily. ‘What do
you
know about what I’m looking for?’
‘I don’t, Andie, I’m just trying to help you,’ Cece said quietly. ‘It sounds like James needs … well, a lot of care. I wonder whether maybe you’ve been in carer mode too long. It must have been so tough for you when Marlo died.’
Andie laughed harshly. ‘Tough? Ya think?’
‘Of course it was tough,’ said Cece softly. ‘I just meant … ’
‘If you call giving up your life to take care of your dying mother tough, then yeah, it was
tough
,’ spat Andie. ‘And then finding out she’d made no plans for you after she died, as if you never mattered, then yes. I would say it was tough.’
Cece’s face was pained. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want to make sure you’re making good decisions.’
‘No, you’re trying to be my mother. I don’t need another mother – I had one. She’s dead.’
‘Andie, I know it was terrible when she died …’ Cece began.
‘
Terrible
? Terrible doesn’t even begin to fucking cover it, Cece!’ Andie exploded. ‘Washing her and soothing her after chemo, racking up my learner driving hours getting her to hospital appointments, massaging her body when she was crying in pain, cooking, cleaning, running her drug schedule. All while she was having her body pumped with poison that ultimately did nothing but make her feel worse. Then at the end of it all, at the end of
two years
of me being the only one she would allow to help her, do you know what she said to me as she drifted in and out of consciousness? She said
I wasn’t her fucking daughter.’
Andie was screaming now, with tears running down her face.
‘She said what?’ asked Cece, her face stricken.
‘That’s what she said, the last time I saw her. She was unconscious and then she suddenly woke up and saw me there, and she told me I wasn’t her daughter.’ Andie sobbed uncontrollably. ‘I did everything I could. I did it to the best of my ability and that’s what she said to me. She was such a bitch. Nothing I did was ever good enough.’ Little specks of spit were forming at the corners of Andie’s mouth.
‘She didn’t mean that,’ whispered Cece. She stood up and tried to take Andie’s hands, but Andie pulled them away.
‘She did mean it. She disowned me at the end, because I couldn’t save her.’ Andie was gasping for breath.
Cece was crying now. ‘Oh no, darling, no, that’s not what she meant.’
‘What would you know? That’s what she said. Of course that’s what she meant, you’re not even listening to me!’ screamed Andie.
Cece shook her head and gripped Andie firmly by the shoulders. ‘No, Andie, she didn’t.’ Her voice was quiet and gentle and she looked Andie straight in the eye.
Something in her voice made Andie collapse against her, her anger dissolving. ‘Then why did she say it?’ wept Andie, begging for understanding.
‘She was … she was trying to tell you something.’ Cece looked like she was fighting an internal battle.
‘What? That I was a crappy daughter?’
‘No.’ Cece took a deep breath. ‘She was trying to tell you that she wasn’t your biological mother,’ she said quietly. ‘I am.’
Andie felt the room spin. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’ she said when she could speak.
Cece was crying. ‘Andie, I was eighteen when I had you. I got my first big movie break when you were only a month old. You were so little. I wasn’t coping. Marlo was older. She said she’d look after you until I got settled. But then … well, that movie led to another, and another. When I came back three years later, Marlo told me I couldn’t have you back.’
Cece tried to take Andie’s hands. ‘I was going to fight for you, but then I saw how much you loved her. You didn’t know me. And yes, I admit that I didn’t want to give up the Hollywood parties. How was I going to raise a baby when I was a child myself? But that’s why we stopped talking. Once I made my choice to let you stay with her, she wouldn’t let me into your life at all.’
Andie was weeping. ‘You didn’t want me.’ She cried as though she thought her heart might break. Cece didn’t want her then and her mother didn’t want her at the end.
‘That’s not true, Andie. I tried to talk to Marlo throughout your whole life. I would have tried to talk to you directly, but I was afraid of your reaction. I wanted Marlo to talk to you first, to tell you more gently than I could have. But then … When I got the phone call that Marlo had died and I knew you were all alone, that was the worst and best day of my life. I had to lose her to get you back.’
Cece took a deep breath. ‘There’s not a day that has gone by in eighteen years that I haven’t thought of you,’ she said, her voice breaking. ‘But Marlo was a wall I couldn’t get through. Sometimes you have to let go, even if it breaks your heart. That’s why I’ve never married, never had any more children. I didn’t deserve them, after I left you.’ Tears poured down Cece’s face, and she sank to her knees on the floor. ‘I am so sorry, Andie. So sorry for all of it. Tell me how I can make it better.’
Andie got to her feet and wiped her eyes. She looked at her aunt. ‘You can’t,’ she said. ‘You can’t make it better.’ She walked to the door and Cece started to shake with sobs.
‘Tell me one thing,’ said Andie, hand on the doorknob.
‘Anything,’ said Cece, raising her eyes hopefully to Andie.
‘Who’s my father?’
Cece swallowed a few times and got to her feet. She wiped her hands on her linen pants and straightened her shoulders.
‘Barry.’
‘Barry?’ Andie felt her jaw drop. ‘The creepy studio guy? ’
Andie shot Cece a look of pure contempt, and then turned and left the house.
I hate her,
she thought. She didn’t need her mum or Cece. Crazy old bitches. Thank god she had James. Her heart swelled as she thought of him. Now all she had to do was wait for Nikki to get the hell out of their lives.
Nikki didn’t end up going to her ‘doctor’s appointment’, which was actually a bikini wax for her reunion with James.
She’d listened as James went to that slut’s room, and heard their moans of passion. She’d tiptoed past Andie’s room as James and Andie were talking afterwards and heard him say that he was going to ask her to leave.
Fuck him,
thought Nikki. There was no way that was happening.
Nikki couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something about Andie that wasn’t right. She definitely knew her from somewhere. She had to protect James from her.
As soon as Andie had left the house and James was in his room, Nikki quietly opened the door to the slut’s room. She wandered in and picked up a hairbrush on the bedside table, running it through her blonde hair a few times.
She opened the cupboards and looked at the labels on her clothes. Andie had a couple of okay things, but mostly weird vintage shit.
All too big for me,
Nikki thought happily.
Andie had very few things, really. Probably too poor to afford any more.
Faking her overdose was totally worth it so Nikki could move that bitch out of this house.
Nikki racked her brain trying to think where she knew Andie from. She sat on the bed and then lay down, staring up at the ceiling. Eventually James would take her back – a bit of drinking and drug-taking wasn’t such a big deal. He would do anything for her. Andie was just a fuck. She, Nikki, was forever.
She rolled over and put her hands under the pillow. She felt something touch her hand and pulled out a notebook.
‘Hah,’ she said aloud and sat up, her heart beating.
The notebook wasn’t very full. Nikki flicked through, stopping to read whenever it got good.
As Nikki read about Cece, she snorted. The little bitch was Cece Powers’ niece, was she? Everyone knew what a drunken idiot Cece was, and her fucked-up on-and-off affair with Barry Rosen was legendary.
Jess – she must be that B-grade TV girl with the giant boobs that SNL had done the sketch about a few months ago.
She had no idea who Marissa or Cameron were and didn’t care, except that they seemed to have pissed off Andie in some way. Maybe they’d all get along.
And then she came to her name, and James’s. As she read, her heart beat faster and faster.
‘Oh my fucking god,’ she said, finishing the page and closing the book slowly. She stood up. This was gold. Way too good not to share.
Leaving the room, she walked up to James’s room, holding the book behind her.
‘Hey, babe,’ she said in her sweetest voice, knocking on his open door.
‘Hi Nikki,’ said James. ‘You’re back. How was your appointment?’ He was reading a script in his chair.
‘Not too bad. It feels good to be here, though,’ she said sitting on the arm of his chair.
‘That’s good,’ he said cautiously. He looked like he was about to say something, but then changed his mind. ‘Have you seen Andie?’ he asked, not looking at her.
‘Nope,’ she said, swinging her leg back and forth. ‘You know I thought I knew her from somewhere.’
‘Oh yeah?’ asked James. ‘Her aunt is Cece Powers. Maybe you’ve seen her around.’
‘Maybe …’ said Nikki. ‘How’s the foot?’
‘Okay. Only three more weeks in the cast, thank god.’
‘So did Barry ever find out what happened on set? Who ran you over, I mean?’
James shrugged. ‘Nah, never did. They think maybe it was a runaway golf cart.’
Nikki tilted her head. Was he serious, or did he have a residual brain injury? Who would honestly fall for that story?
She reached out and tousled his hair. ‘Need anything?’
‘Nah, I’m good,’ he said.
‘Okay. Well, see you later,’ she said. He looked puzzled but relieved at her behaviour.
Nikki went to the kitchen and poured herself an orange juice. She took the vodka from the freezer and added a slug to her glass.
Standing at the kitchen bench and sipping her drink, she heard the front door slam. She looked up and saw Andie running to her room.
Probably to write in her diary
, she thought, laughing to herself.
She leant on the kitchen bench and waited for Andie to emerge. It wouldn’t take long, she was sure of it. She would want to see James.
Sure enough, Andie soon came out of her room, sneaking through the house towards James. Nikki followed her, watching as Andie shut the door behind her.
Nikki waited for five minutes. It would be painful, but if she could catch them in bed together it would make the reveal all the better.
When she couldn’t wait any longer she knocked once, then opened the door without waiting for an answer.
Andie was in James’s arms, crying.
‘Not now, Nik,’ said James.
‘Oh, are you okay?’ asked Nikki, sitting on the arm of the chair again.
Andie gave her a look of pure venom.