Unrequited (39 page)
Authors: Lisa A. Phillips
as term, 10–11
stalking murders, 7
Stanley, in
A Streetcar Named Desire,
93–95
Stendhal, 22–25, 26, 37–38
Stewart, Kristen, 178
Stratonice, Antiochus and, 69–70
A Streetcar Named Desire
(play), 93–95
sublimation, 194
substance addiction, 81–82, 222–23
suicide, 111, 131–32, 134–35
“The Suicide” (poem), 131–32, 134
Summerscale, Kate, 74–75
Suor Angelica
(opera), 186–87
surveillance of love interests, 100
Svengali, in
Trilby,
187
swarmings, 74
Swift, Taylor, 43–44
Sylvia’s story, 113–17
Symposium
(Plato), 30
Tait, Lucy, 74
Taitz, Jennifer, 211–12, 220
Take Care of Yourself
(Calle’s art installation), 193–94
Tallis, Frank, 84, 210
teacher crushes, 173–75
Tennov, Dorothy, 76, 80, 209
Teresa of Ávila, 207
testosterone, 95
Theon, 72
therapeutic intercourse, 69
Theresa’s story, 30–33, 34, 38
Thompson, Carleen M., 147
Tillie’s story, 128–31
transference, 127
transformational power of unrequited love, 185–207
author’s story, 199–200
Careena’s story, 200–204
Chris Kraus, 194
creative potential of, 72–73, 188–89, 194–99
Don Quixote, 189–90
Eleanor’s story, 204–7
Maria’s story, 63
Mary Wollstonecraft, 190–93
Rina’s story, 185–88
Sophie Calle, 193–94
A Treatise on Lovesickness
(Ferrand), 71–72
Truffaut, François, 98–99
Tsarnaev, Dzhokhar, 179
Tuchman, Barbara, 20
Tumblr, 178
Turner, Jenny, 156
Twelfth Night
(Shakespeare), 96
21
(Adele album), 197
Twilight
series, 181
Twitter, 178, 179
unrequited love
as common occurrence, 3–4
crushes.
See
crushes
differing interpretations of, 139
female stalking.
See
gender pass for stalking
judgment of women in, 4–5, 22, 24–25, 69, 71–72
letting go of.
See
letting go
lovesickness.
See
lovesickness
as medieval theme, 20
men in, 7–8
narcissism of.
See
narcissism of unrequited love
potential benefits of, 4, 11–12
privilege of, 21, 22, 26
pursuit of.
See
pursuit of men by women
script of.
See
script of unrequited love
self-sacrifice as peril of, 162–63
transformational power of.
See
transformational power of unrequited love
unsatisfied desire.
See
unsatisfied desire
unsatisfied desire, 13–38
author’s story, 13–15
courtly love, 18–22
Diane’s story, 26–29, 38
Katherine’s story, 35–37, 38
not yet
relationships, 18, 30, 34, 38, 42
in novels, film, and TV, 16–17, 33
online relationships and, 33–34
Stendhal and, 22–26, 37–38
Theresa’s story, 30–33, 34, 38
unwanted pursuit behaviors (UPBs), 109
uterine disease, 74
uterine fury, 71
Valerie, in
Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet,
99, 100
Vanessa Lemor, in
Dear Lemon Lima,
181–82
van Gogh, Vincent, 7
vasopressin, 83, 95–96
ventral tegmental area of brain (VTA), 82–83
victims
blaming, 10, 156
good victim prototype, 153, 154, 155
male.
See
gender pass for stalking
Victor Frankenstein, in
Frankenstein,
73
Victorian era, 49–50, 73–76, 101, 131–32
Villette
(C. Brontë), 193
A Vindication of Love
(Nehring), 24
A Vindication of the Rights of Women
(Wollstonecraft), 190, 192
Viola, in
Twelfth Night,
96
Virgil, 68
virgins of Milesia, 72
Vos, Kee, 7
VTA (ventral tegmental area of brain), 82–83
Wadsworth, Charles, 197
Wakin, Albert, 80–82, 84–85
Waldman, Adelle, 87
Watts, in
Some Kind of Wonderful,
42–43
Weber, Jill, 179, 206–7
Weissbourd, Richard, 169, 172
Werther, in
The Sorrows of Young Werther,
131, 197
Wharton, Edith, 16
What Do Women Want? (Bergner), 102
Whitehead, Barbara Dafoe, 50, 51
Why You’re Not Married . . . Yet
(McMillan), 99
Williams, Stacey L., 100
Witkowski, Talia, 120
Wolf (stalking victim), 141–45
Wollstonecraft, Mary, 190–93, 195
Woods, Tiger, 149
Wotman, Sara R., 41–42
Wright, Jacqueline, 58, 92, 188
Wuthering Heights
(E. Brontë), 73, 75
Yoonessi, Suzi, 180–82
Yoselin (unrequited lover), 137–40
“You Belong with Me” (song and video), 43–44
Young Guns II
(film), 114
YouTube, 43, 133, 178
Zeki, Semir, 195, 196, 197–98
Zeus, 30
Zuckerberg, Mark, 6
Photo © Franco Vogt
LISA A. PHILLIPS
, a journalism professor at the State University of New York at New Paltz, has published articles and essays in the
New York Times
, the
Boston Globe
, Psychologytoday.com, and other publications. A former award-winning radio reporter, she has worked at public radio stations across the country and contributed stories to NPR and Marketplace. She is also the author of
Public Radio: Behind the Voices
. Phillips lives in Woodstock, New York, with her husband and their daughter.
Lisaaphillips.com
Twitter.com/lisaamyphillips
Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at
hc.com
.
Public Radio: Behind the Voices
Cover design by Elena Givaldi
UNREQUITED
. Copyright © 2015 by Lisa A. Phillips. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
Portions of
Unrequited
were originally published in another form in the essay “I Couldn’t Let Go of Him. Did It Make Me a Stalker?” in the
New York Times.
Poem on epigraph page reprinted from: “Dirge Without Music,”
Collected Poems
, Edna St. Vincent Millay and Norma Millay Ellis (New York: HarperPerennial, 1981).
FIRST EDITION
ISBN 978-0-06-211401-3
EPub Edition January 2015 ISBN 9780062114129
Version 01282016
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Many of the names in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of the people interviewed about their experiences of unrequited love. In certain cases, other identifying details have been altered.
Oh, Madonna, save me!